Thursday, August 16, 2012

Day 120: I am Awake - Not A Wake

When and as I see myself desiring to take a nap, to oversleep, to just close my eyes and not be Here, I stop, Breathe, remind myself that I can only be Awake or A Wake, waiting for My Death as The Solution instead of seeing and realizing that I am The Solution when I am Awake and Not A Wake

I commit myself to not give in to the desire to sleep when I am not in fact physically tired as I
change my routine to sleep my 6 hours every night and stop indulging in sleep as a reward that only keeps me looping into the Mind as the "Wake me up when it's All Over Character”

When and as I see myself trying to stay in my zombie sleepy state going to the toilet so I can return to bed telling myself I was half asleep, I stop, Breathe, tell myself that if I am half asleep I must be half awake as well and stand as the directive principle to get going without indulging in sleep that I do not need

I commit myself to sleep six hours per night and then get up and get moving as the directive principle of me and not as a Mind System that has to wait to move until the Mind says go, I commit myself to not be dependent on my mind when sleep is involved but to check if I am physically tired or if I am just looking for a Mind Break to not be Here and face a point, a moment that needs my attention so I can see
who I am within that moment and how I wrote myself to be that 'Who I am' within that moment to Self Correct to realign myself to Oneness and Equality and What is Best for All.

When and as I see myself coming up with excuses about why I 'deserve ' to rest, as if rest was not a physical moment of rest but something I have earned after doing something else that I myself judged as cumbersome, I stop, Breathe, look at what I have defined as cumbersome so I can remove that judgement through Self Forgiveness as I realize it is me defining everything in my life within polarities and I see it as an opportunity to find a point of judgment and definition to release myself from it

I commit myself to stop the judgments and definitions of my activities and the
division in easy and cumbersome, fun and boring, exciting and a drag, as those definitions invite/push me within the 'Wake Me up when It's All Over' Character as I desire to reward myself for something I myself judged as cumbersome, boring, a drag, or whatever other negative charged definition I have placed on a task that I then desire to balance out with the positively charged 'napping time', and within this I forgive myself for charging the ‘napping time’ positively and remove that charge for good as I define napping time as NT necessary, not positive or negative, unless required by my body.

When and as I see myself coming up with excuses and justifications about why a nap is actually due, I stop, Breathe, see that it's another of one of my clever mindfuck with which I hope to find the right excuse to drift away, to not be Here and so stopping dreading to Be Here as the polarity of the ex positively charged napping time is rewarded and within this I forgive myself for having labeled, defined, thought of, spoken of, being Here as being Aware as something I do not like to do from which I found thousands of escaping routes, just because being Here was not providing the Energetic fix I have grown accustomed to and defined Life, instead I see and realize that I am just getting used to myself as Self expression that is not motivated or pushed around by Energy and that there is nothing More of Me and Nothing More of Here to look for, because Me Here in and as Breath is All There IS.

I commit myself to embrace myself and my self expression as being Here in and as Breath outside of Energetic movements and push overs so I can come to know myself and who I am as Self Expression as Life, for What is Best for All for myself and All of Existence, Equal and One 

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