Sunday, April 28, 2013

Day 300: Obama-ing the New Italian Parliament

As many who are following International Politics know, we have had a major 'apparent' turn around during the latest elections.
A new party called '5 Star Movement' ranked up 1/3 of all votes in the name of Change, people shouted 'CHANGE' and boarded the Change Movement.

Yesterday the new Parliament was declared, the '5Star Movement' faithful to the promise of not meddling with 'old politics' aka thieves and liars ended up not participating in the government proposal of the left, they believed that they could turn around the table once and for all to then have it all, a new election and the majority of votes to rule.
I voted for the 5 star movement, because they promised the Hope of Change, something other parties didn't even mention because the specific Change we were talking about was that they would have to leave Parliament 'en mass', and leave it up to the upcomers, the voice of Change, to redo the whole political scene, rewrite the rules of the game and design a New World.

One point that shows how clearly we were all mistaken is the end of this story, due to the staunch stand against the past and anything to do with it, what happened was that the old players got together, dropped the mask of the pretense of opposing each other and pledged with the Italian President to accept another 7 years of term and appoint THEM, together as a government or 'large understanding'.

The 'large understanding' definition represents government that embrace parties that are from both the left and the right side of Parliament, in some countries this has been possible due to their existence not in opposition to each other but as complementary forces, this is not the case in Italy, the left are the liberals and the right wing represents the democrats.
By definition their objectives and interests are social for the first group and corporate-ish for the second, an obvious clash, the only thing that is cool about what happened is that the games are becoming clearer, the delusion of Democracy and the illusion that we have any power in the decision making of our countries through our government as our representative has finally fallen, they don't give a hoot about anyone, and if they are cornered into the choice of giving up power or exposing the true nature of the game, they'll go for exposure because there will always be Propaganda good enough to convince the dumb masses that we have become that things are not as they seem, that they are working for the best of all, that they are in fact the responsible ones doing the real interest of the country.

Now, to keep up the charade, the illusion of change had to be sustained somehow, we had to 'Obama' our parliament; as much as the US interpreted a black man as 'Change' we would have to take the example and do even better, the trick must be comparable to the cry for Change and we had a big cry here, so we put 7 women as Ministers, highest number ever, including a black woman at the Ministry of Integration, we have effectively now Obama-ed ourselves into the illusion of Change.

Just one not for the political disinformed that may raise some eyebrows, the ministers given to women were nothing to worry about, including the Ministry of Justice, because as we know if you have Money you can bypass any law, you exist beyond and above the Law, hence no woman is in any way in a position to damage or threaten the system, not even Emma Bonino, a Human right feminist activist who has been given the prestigious Ministry of Foreign Affair, a nice place that guarantees first class travels all over the world while representing the country.
Has anyone noticed how the system will either cast you out if you are unbreakable or find ways to corrupt you and make you part of the game by giving you an interesting enough share of the pie? This is Emma Bonino's case, she was first invited into the Bilderberg, the banker's secret Club and then given a position of prestige, this is how we stop fighting the system or  stop standing up for a new system, we are grown organically into it, we are made to love it and rewarded for our loyalty and for the promise to no longer misbehave and cross lines, hence why those who would be in a position to stand up, either intellectually or morally, end up giving in, we sell out, all of us have sold out, politicians, artists, intellectuals, all of us have sold out to the fake comforts and insurance policies offered by the system.

We sold out even with the 5 Star Movement, because we said we did not want to mix with the past, so the past took over and fucked us over again. Well thought out to try and be the incorruptible ones within a corrupted system, while we took a step back to governing, they all took a step forward and took the seats to govern again, Berlusconi at the head, most of the ministers are from his party (Surprise), and the 5 star movement took nothing, just a good dose of self righteousness and the idea that we are better than them - hence we will not participate.

Are we better really in any way? Because not governing was just what the system wanted from us, if we are waiting for a clean parliament to seat at our places of responsibility to change the system and make it work for All we may have to wait for looong, there is no clean system in this world and hence not a clean person, no one is innocent, standing up for a change doesn't make anyone of us any better because every day we are still participating within and as a Money System that allows and promotes abuses, there is no way to be clean until we design a clean world for everybody, and yes, we may have to get dirty to get clean, so as Sean Connery asked in The Untouchables "how far are we willing to go to bring Capone down?", we'll have to go the whole nine yards, first we start with the Capone inside each one of us, the bloodthirsty personalities we indulge that would do anything for power, greed and self interest and then we'll have to go for democratic elections and not just try once, you see the finger at the top of this blog?

This is one of our Parliamentary representatives, Gasparri, this was what he showed the people gathered in the Montecitorio square to oppose the reelection of an ottuagenarian President of the Republic (87 years old to be precise) as the guarantor of democracy and yet, he was reelected. He'll be in a wheelchair before the end of his term and that's fine, dementia in the highest roles of the government helps those who do not want to give any guarantees about what they are or will be doing.
He negotiated for his reelection that compromising tapes about a private conversation he had with a minister where he called a journalist an 'asshole' and another minister an 'idiot' should be destroyed, so he may rest in peace once he dies and no one would be able to dig into the real story of his support for bankers against the people and the weakest of society evicted from their homes and destroyed by debt.

While incidentally, our Minister for Economics is the general Director of Bankitalia, Fabrizio Saccomanni, another banker, get the drift? We are just changing the costumes and actors of the show but the pantomime is always the same, and of course we remain the slaves tied to a debt designed to keep us in place.

So, how far shall we go to get back into power?
All the way - let's just not make it bloody, shooting started today outside of the Italian Parliament, a desperate man said 'I wanted to hit the Politicians for what they are doing', but who is doing this, who is accepting the idea that we can't change, why do we exclude ourselves from participating actively in politics? Is the 5 Star movement the mesmerizing arm of the Bilderberg, are we being led once again to hope for change vs just changing? Why leave the parliament to the old games once we have our foot in?
We are not better, we are not cleaner, at the moment we have just one choice, get the finger or stand up. When we will be tired to be told to go get fucked,  we may start to see the amazing common sense of Equal Money, when every Life will have Equal Value and Worth no one will any more be in a position to give the finger to anyone,we will redesign the world to include all of its parts, what we have done so far is not the best we can do, so how long shall we take the finger, how long are we giving ourselves the finger by not getting together under a common Manifesto for Human Rights that include ALL?

EqualMoney, no bloody revolutions, no shooting of Politicians (albeit tempting) no giving the finger back, just one by one standing  to become the Change we want to see in this world, this is not Utopia, it's a Real Movement, a Self Movement that as it gathers power by numbers, will be both unstoppable and irreversible.
Join us.

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Friday, April 26, 2013

Day 299: Human Rights Movements - Court Jesters

Human Rights Defence
Human Rights Defence (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There are many groups that promote and uphold Human Rights.
We believe that torture violates Human Rights, jailing someone without a trial violates human rights, not feeding properly prisoners of wars is a violation of human rights.
But we don't believe war to be a violation of human rights, we have laernt to live with it, we read about it in History books and were told and taught about the major and minor wars as if they were part of the deal, soon or later someone is at war, just accept it, it's the way things are, so instead of seeing war and shooting each other as an unquestionable common sense violation of human rights, specifically the rights of those who have not chosen, voted, declared a war but ended up having to live with it so that some may profit from it, we regulated it.

This is our current approach to world problems, for some reason we don't seek solution for the causes of the problems we have, we regulate the consequences, we write laws and treaties about what would be best to not do during a war - what about NOT having a war at all? 
Wouldn't that be the best of bests, wouldn't that solve all the problems we have that are war related? Duh.

All the other groups that attempt to regulate Human Rights and prevent their violation are doing the same, we take the consequences and look at how to diminish them, how to keep them within lines we can live with.
We have set up many charities according to exactly this principle, to feed the poor, which incidentally keep growing, plausibly we'll keep growing 'aid agencies' because this is what we do, we seem to be only able to deal with consequences.

How come we have never considered that without agreeing on Life being The Basic -not negotiable-  Human Right, everything else that we do is just a palliative, a patch on the real problem that we have not found ways - or even better - have not even cared to seek ways to solve at the root, Poverty, what about eradicating poverty by recognizing that without Life there would be no need to regulate any Human Right because we would be dealing with Dead People and dead people have no business in the claiming of Rights for a 'Life' of dignity purely because -they are Dead.

It's not impossible to see this point, Life is The Value all other rights are attached to, THINK about it for a moment, when in recent or far away times have we ever felt the need to regulate the rights of Dead People, or when did the Dead ask for their rights to be respected and regulated? What about NEVER?
So we can assume that the rights we want to secure are the ones of those who are still living and that as such the point of being Alive is fundamental to having rights, then how come being Alive and kept that way is not The First of all Human Rights and if it is, why do we excuse the death by famine or hardship of those that are NOT guaranteed their basic right to Life, such as Food, water, a shelter, education etc. ?

We need to have a serious reality check about what we are doing and why, if we are not upholding the right to Life and we belong to any Human Rights group, we are kidding ourselves, if Life is not a value we are standing for, then we are razzle-dazzling ourselves into the idea of being committed to something important and vital when we are in fact just accepting and allowing a system that says that we don't have the right to Life on this planet unless we have Money to buy it, and such system exists and thrives in each of our names.

Stand for Life as the most basic fundamental of All Human Rights with Equal Money.

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Saturday, April 20, 2013

Day 298: There is Too-Much Love in this World

I have been an advocate for Love as a force for Change, a staunch advocate at that.

It was convenient, did not cost me a penny or my time, it did not require for me to change because I could claim to be loving and that was enough and when any doubt would come up I would get together with some other loving people, so we could support each other lies and pretense and do nothing about the state of the world together and then go home feeling all good about ourselves, we were the loving ones not the evil ones of this world - thangodforthat.

Funny claim considering it didn't even change me, I watched myself get more entrenched with time going by in my belief systems, habits, behaviors, personalities so I cal testify for sure that Love didn't even change me, but at the time I insisted, in fact I vowed it could change the world.

My favorite replies to anything practical like Famine, wars, violence, child abuse were these:

Love is the Solution

Love is all we need

Love is what will change the world

Love is who we really are

There is a long list of those oxy-morons we use to define why we would not in fact stand for a solution that is real, where the lives of all would be improved, where the planet would be cared for, the animals would be respected and we would stop doing everything in the name of Greed, Profit and Money.

Some of us 'lovers' and ex'lovers' are or were supporters of a book like the Bible which contains more tragedies and hatred than all Greek mythology put together and the parts in which some cool messages slipped in -by mistake, like to love our neighbour or give to each other what we would like for ourselves- those parts we pulverized out of our consciousness and then brushed off any remote resonance to them.

No wonder the world is what it is, we are living the Bible script minus the few and far in between good bits.

So, to go back to 'there is too much Love in this world', I would like to say that if we did not have this socially accepted excuse, this feel good prompting to shove up each other's ...... to activate the 'yes, that's true' 'yes you are right' compulsory response, we may have looked for real practical solutions by now.

What about facing the WHY we are busy keeping the Love lie up, what is the Con-venience of such belief system if not clearly as the best answer to give when not wanting to walk the required physical steps to change this world to make it work for everyone?

How can we in the same sentence deny the right to Equality as Equal Worth and Value to All and profess Love? What is the Love we are talking about then if not just an Idea, a fairy tale not different from those pathetic ones we imprint our children with to make them 'wanters' of things, experiences, good feelings in which we include Love as the delusion we live and pass on to future generations.

Let's consider that wanting Love to be real, wanting Love as the Solution means we must get to the Solution first, because Love is not changing anything by itself, it's not a magic wand, it doesn't change the individual and hence it doesn't change the world, the inner doesn't change just by claiming Love, we don't become loving by saying we are just like we don't become wise, clever, practical, stable just by saying it, nor does the outer, so we need to redefine Love to something we can do to make it real.

Where exactly does our cognitive dissonance come in about Love and what Love is, where did this misunderstanding started, our misinterpretation of Love as the label we can put on an action before it is undertaken, on a solution before it is accomplished or even agreed on.

At Desteni, as a group, we are not bashing Love for the fun of it, we do it to burst the Love bubble, as a form of support, to take off the Emperor clothes that were never there to start with, the nice make up we wear to pretend to be good so we can expose our unwillingness to work together for real, to grant to each other the lives we wished to live because we need to see the problem before we can change it, and Love is a smoke screen that must come down for the house of cards to fall once and for all and allow us to face the consequences of having been anything BUT loving.

If Love was real, we would not allow a child to go hungry, a parent to not have enough to get to the end of the month, a father to be homeless after a divorce, a single human being in slavery, violence, rape, wars, so the next time we feel the nagging temptation to use Love as the reason why we are not joining the most loving solution of the Planet, we should stop and face the image we are trying to keep up of ourselves to face the underlining fears we have of Equality and what it would mean to suddenly have to give up our privileged position in the World to create a world that would work for All, Equally, considering all its parts as living pieces of the equation that make life on Earth possible, and not some just as spare parts or human waste that we can dispense with and dispose of just because we are not related to them by 'emotions and feelings' - which are not even real.

If we like the idea of Love and loving each other, we have to take the necessary steps to make it real, practical, tangible, turning the matter we manifested into a horror show into a place where a dignified Life for All is not only possible, it's a given, a gift that we give to each other to Real-ize Love and rescue it from the deception it has become in our attempt to deny the need for Change, our individual Inner Change as parts of the Whole to allow the Outer reflection to change with and as us.

Join EqualMoney, it's not a For-taking system, it's a For-Giving System to make Love Real for All, Equally.

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Day 297: Redefining A Life of Escaped Negativity

Once I was no longer a kid the idea of negativity was already clear to me:

Negativity -a bad feeling place that is not nice to experience and is not appreciated by others, I never considered it wasn't even real, I was too busy staying away from it.

Of course once I defined negativity as a place I did not want to be, the search for positivity and positive experiences started.

I moved school to the intermediate school, the 3 compulsory years of education we had to do at the time beyond elementary school.

To the state it was enough that we could read and write, so we could sign cheques, mortages and effectively commit to our lives of debts.

I had the privilege of a private education, having experienced both I can say that there is absolutely no comparison between private and public education.

While my private education was tainted by nuns getting on their desk to show us how Christ was crucified or attempting to defame sexuality as 'the original sin', there was the real intent to teach.

I excelled in Math until I realized that what I did was not 'normal', meaning the way I saw numbers was not normal, math operations were like a movie in my head, I did not add or multiplied as I had learned, I just saw the numbers morphing into solutions.

When we were evaluated for our further education skills, I was told I would have to embark on scientific studies, I was designed for that, some of my math grades were embarrassingly high, I say embarrassingly because I was aware that there was no merit in what I did.

My mum made a lot of sacrifices to send me to private scientific studies, 30 years ago the yearly fee of my private school was 2000 euro.

When I arrived in the new school from the sheltered catholic life I had a shock, first the teachers changed for every subject, that was hard, plus the students were rich, way richer than my family and hence I had an immediate perception of loss of value.

This was externalized by how poorly I fitted in, I did not have the right clothes, the right accessories, the right bag, the right family, beyond what my mum did to pay for this school she couldn't do more, she worked many long hours in the evenings keeping the accountancy for the company my grandma was the Finance Director for, instead of feeling grateful for everything she did, I felt resentful.

I felt it was her fault that I had to deal everyday with those feelings of inferiority just because she wanted to send me to this upper class school, when we were not 'upper class' and this is when our relationship started to strain, I feel sad as I write this as I see how I have laid the first stones that I then had to excuse throughout my life always blaming her for our bad relationship.

In January there was an accident with a schoolmate, he told me his dad died and that was why he was doing poorly at school, I told the literature teacher so he could have some lenience for his poor performance but it turned out to just be a joke, they thought I was a softie and it was worth to mock the softness and the concern for others out of me.

When the story came out I felt embarrassed, stupid and asked myself what was I doing in a world I did not understand and where I did not fit in. I wanted to die, I took 2 blisters of pills, turned out they were nothing dangerous but I played the part with my stepfather for some pity, he said that would be our secret so my mum would not worry more than she already did about me. Nothing happened, I lived.

In February I gave up, I stopped going to school and went to the park instead, my mum worked it out only a few months later and told me to go and stay with my grandma for a while or she would kill me.

Of course my grandparents took the chance to play the 'good cops' and welcomed me with open arms for that summer.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that the value of Life lay in the money we had access to, in our family "worth", clothes, external appearance, ability to buy what was trendy and to fit in instead of seeing realizing and understanding I was born into the consequences of a world we built in separation without consideration for Life

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty for my math skills as I became aware I had no merit for how numbers solved themselves in my mind and for feeling bad for my schoolmates who could not get math because I failed to explain to them how what I did just happened to me and was not a skill

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe there was something wrong with me when I discovered my mind did not process information like the minds of the people around me and instead of asking myself questions about why some had some skills from birth and some didn't, which would have been the beginning of my questioning the whole validity and benevolence of this existence, I settled to capitalize on my birth skills to gain a "moreness" for myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to, when my mum sent me to the new expensive school making it clear that we would have to make sacrifices for me to access this expensive education, to resent her choice to try and give me an advantage I did not care for instead of giving me the things that would have made me fit in, cool clothes, right accessories and a worthy family I could be proud of

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty about resenting my mum and her efforts for my future and instead of looking at that guilt and correcting my stance about my resentment, find ways and reasons to blame her for my poor performance at school, making up a convenient perception of my childhood as difficult, hard, full of crazy people when in fact we all have it hard on this earth because our starting point through which we designed our experiences is one of separation and fear that could only as a consequence create a reality such as the one we live in

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define my childhood as negative as an excuse for my behavior

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that unless I had the props that seemed required to fit into the rich crowd, I was less than them, and for allowing myself to diminish myself until I could no longer face school and lost the opportunity to make myself effective in life within the specific abilities I was born with

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to let go of my math abilities as a way to feel 'normal', fearing to 'not be normal' as it was for sure not normal to jump to the results of equations without doing the intermediate steps which I was always reprimanded for

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty every time someone mentioned how good I was at math, because I had not taken the physical steps to that knowledge but had just access to it and hence I felt like a cheat, dishonest, someone who took short cuts even though I could not explain how the short cuts worked and why I was able to do that

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to let go math which was a point in which I felt a real connection to myself for my desire for normality, defining normality as the lessening of everyone to the lowest point of existence vs striving for a normaity that would reach for the highest expression of our existence and our abilities for All, Equally

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty when I stopped going to school and for lying to my mum about everything being fine, living in an absurd state of anxiety waiting for the truth to blow up in my face until it did

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to internalize the accident during which I felt ridiculed and mocked by my classmate as a moment of defeat, failure as a human being and for wanting to opt out because I believed I could not face the shame of going back to class after having been the object of ridicule for my naiveness

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire to end my life, defining a successful life as one in which I would be accepted, which was part of the reason why I told the teacher about my classmate, to be good and concerned about him, and when that did not work and became the very reason for which I was ridiculed to believe my life made no sense and I should give it up

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to turn dark, seeking for famous poets and writers that would support my bleak idea of existence, writing on my diary that "Death is paid with Life', as if Death was the value I would have to live for and not Life, and within this for participating in the creation and acceptance of this world of Death vs a world of Life for All

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to entertain thoughts about killing myself until I decided I was too much of a coward to even do that and then I turned the table saying that it was easy to die and the hard thing was living - designing for myself a hard life to live to prove myself right

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to attempt to brush all negativity under the rug, refusing to face my own negative experience of myself because I held a judgement toward negativity as 'BAD" and not a place I was willing to go to, and within this accumulating consequences over consequences as I skipped and hopped across my negativity jumping on one positive experience after another, just to fall back on my unresolved negativity when the energy of positivity would run out

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to blame others for my experiences of negativity, for trying to push 'negative' experiences and negative people away, failing to see myself in what I did not want to face, my own self defined negativity and my own self defined negative experiences

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear negativity as something to run from, to suppress, to cover up and hide as in this desire I became an easy target for drugs and mind altering substances and gave myself and my life up to pot which I defined as the solution to the experience of myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to, when my step father said we would have 'our little secret' to feel dirty and dis-honest toward my mother, adding another reason to resent her as the cause of my experience of myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to let my past experiences define who I would become and who I believed I was, without seeing, realizing and understanding that nothing I experienced was real and that I just kept myself busy swinging between polarities as a form of mind entertainment instead of bringing myself back here to sort myself out once and for all with regard to my definition of 'negativity' and my experience with it, as it, that I ended up believing to be who I really am

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe I was the negativity I tried to escape from instead of seeing, realizing and understanding, negativity doesn't define me nor does positivity, those are just expressions of myself as the Mind, none worthier than the other but a distraction from being here stable in and as breath

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe I was the experience of my feelings and emotions, for believing that how I felt defined me as who I really am, instead of seeing and realizing I had the power to define myself, redefine myself in fact, to bring myself back into alignment to what is best for all, for myself and all of existence Equal and One

to be continued

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Thursday, April 18, 2013

Day 296: It's always Boston-time somewhere in the World.

CBU Mark 20 Mod-6 Rockeye cluster bombs mounte...
CBU Mark 20 Mod-6 Rockeye cluster bombs mounted on a LTV A-7E Corsair II fighter at Naval Air Station Patuxent River, Maryland (USA), on 13 May 1984. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Boston incident. 
Standing as the evidence that lives don't have the same value and that we are psychopaths that twist words for our own use to get away with murder.

Today I read an article by Norman Solomon titled The Orwellian Warfare State of Carnage and Doublethink, I recommend anyone who is grieving for the Boston victims and non to take a deep breath and proceed to read it.

There is something unsettling about grieving for Boston in a world of violence and wars, the unsettling point is the relativity of such a small event blown up into the World as something Major, why isn't EVERY SINGLE life lost for no reason then a reason to grieve?

Is it because not every life is worth the same?
Is it because we don't know the ones that die in other countries - so how many of us knew the Boston victims?
Is it Nationalism, if we are American we grieve for Americans, if we are Italians we grieve for the Italians, is this why out of every tragedy in the National news we tell how many 'of us' were involved?
I deal with a few old people during my days, they always tell me the news and how many Italians were involved - not because I may know them, just because we 'belong' to something together, a Nation, an Idea of Unity, of Sameness, then displaying more grieving for 'ours' than 'theirs' is social norm, is what is called for.

We normalized our ab-normality, in our division in the name of imaginary lines we call borders that we use to define the value of Lives as more or less we define how much we should grieve for them, bigger value, bigger loss, bigger grieving required and that is not even defined by us, it's system defined.

What struck me about the above mentioned article were just the very simple common sense points outlined, the dismay at the idea that someone put some stuff inside pressure cookers with the intention to maim, it is in this intention to harm that we find the biggest horror of the story.
But it only seems to resonates to the shaking of our very foundation when the intent is to harm 'Us' not when the intent is to harm 'them'.

" Much less crude and weighing in at 1,000 pounds, CBU-87/B warheads were in the category of “combined effects munitions” when put to use 14 years ago by a bomber named Uncle Sam. The U.S. media coverage was brief and fleeting.
One Friday, at noontime, U.S.-led NATO forces dropped cluster bombs on the city of Nis, in the vicinity of a vegetable market. “The bombs struck next to the hospital complex and near the market, bringing death and destruction, peppering the streets of Serbia’s third-largest city with shrapnel,” a dispatch in the San Francisco Chronicle reported on May 8, 1999.
And: “In a street leading from the market, dismembered bodies were strewn among carrots and other vegetables in pools of blood. A dead woman, her body covered with a sheet, was still clutching a shopping bag filled with carrots.”
Pointing out that cluster bombs “explode in the air and hurl shards of shrapnel over a wide radius,” BBC correspondent John Simpson wrote in the Sunday Telegraph: “Used against human beings, cluster bombs are some of the most savage weapons of modern warfare.”
Savage did not preclude usage. As a matter of fact, to Commander in Chief Bill Clinton and the prevailing military minds in Washington, savage was bound up in the positive attributes of cluster bombs. Each one could send up to 60,000 pieces of jagged steel shrapnel into what the weapon’s maker described as “soft targets. - Norman Solomon”

For those that can't read beyond the words we use, 'soft targets' are human bodies, people who were alive and breathing with a family and a life before they became collateral damages in senseless twisted in words and news wars.
'Soft targets' are not plush or squeaky toys, 'softies' were now the targets in Boston, it's totally irrelevant who decided to make them targets but it is absolutely comparable with what we are doing to the countries we 'bring Peace missions to' or our 'Economic Help' or 'Democracy' wrapped in packages that no one in their right mind would like to receive but, as Orwell said

The conditioned reflex of “stopping short, as though by instinct, at the threshold of any dangerous thought . . . and of being bored or repelled by any train of thought which is capable of leading in a heretical direction.”

Sure it would be an heresy to start to imagine that if we did not enjoy the Boston shrapnel we should not send them to anyone around the world for any reason, because guess what, the guy who did what he did in Boston had his own good reasons - about as good as the ones we claim we have when we go and deliberately maim women and children just to then call them 'soft targets victims of collateral damage'.
There are NO good reasons for the existence of weapons designed to harm and kill, we can make an effort, walk the line of heresy to the end until we can see common sense before we are forced to face common sense in flesh, how many Bostons before Boston is outlawed for ALL in the name of a Humane World and the establishment of the brotherhood of ManKind?

Say Enough NOW with #EqualMoney.
Join the Forums, participate, spread the news, become part of the Solution, make your vote count to stop the senseless inhumane world we have created, accepted and allowed to exist in our Name.

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Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Day 295: Redefining A "Negative" Childhood

I did not like being a child.

Starting with being smaller in size than the adults, being unable to reach the top shelves, the table, having to sit on phone books to be as tall as others while eating.

I did not like as well the fact that everyone seemed to be in charge of me and my time but me - an issue than then developed into a resistance to discipline which I perceived to be the "real Mind Control' of existence, hence I rebelled to discipline and in line with this I reacted to the post about Jesus having Disciples - meaning people with Discipline applying his message, a wave of annoyance came over me as I read the word 'discipline', a word I connected to the Catholic schools, summer camps, life with parents and then with partners and ultimately, to prove discipline was in fact a fuck up, to the Army.

It's interesting to revisit my past to see how shaped myself into the person I am today, often I get pissed off as I realize how much of this system is deliberately built to create ineffective human beings, what if we had embraced discipline from childhood as a tool to greater effectiveness vs something to rebel to, just to end up slobs without a spine that can't push themselves to complete tasks for the goals they set out to accomplish? And we call our spineless existence "Freedom" and then we fight to defend it, not the clever lot we like to think we are.

I never went to a Montessori institute, instead I went to a Catholic kindergarden for 4 years and not the prescribed 3, because my mother was working, and then 5 years of elementary school, the nuns would be the other end of the spectrum from Maria Montessori, they lived to dwarf children under the weight of fears, guilt, shame and gender issues, they depicted a world of giants, the trinity, saints, martyrs, all great people I never wanted to emulate if for no other reason for the fact that they had to die to become that great.
On the other hand, Maria Montessori understood that children did better and developed more healthily in an environment were the world was sized for them, she may not have got it all right but she did put herself in children's shoes, in the Montessori world you would have child sized toilets, tables, chairs, it was to support them to feel "au pair"/Equal to the adults and their environment, having their world sized for them vs feeling dwarfed by it, but then again, why not dwarf children, that will turn them into spineless adults because hopelessness and helplessness start at home, in the family, who else could imprint those feelings and emotions more effectively than the family?

I remember thinking that I would grow up soon or later and the need to ask the adults to hand me over the things I could not reach would be over, I always looked forward to growing up, to the freedom that I didn't perceive I had as a kid, born dependent to be raised dependent to become dependent human beings.

It's possible that addictions start when we are in fact kids, our addictive minds are forged at home, not only through copying the behavior of our families, but through internalizing the need to be helped out, the fear of not being as big as others, to not be able to manage tasks as well as adults hence the dependency from family that then turns into dependency from substances, the abuse of sub-stances until there is little left of what we could have been and become in a proper supportive environment.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that without my family I would have died

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to hate being dependent on my family for survival from the big points - like being fed, clothed and housed, or the small points such as having to ask others to reach for things I could not reach or for permission to do what I wanted to do with my own time

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to resent being a kid among adults

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe I was diminished by the presence of adults in my life and for blaming them for my experience of 'smallness' when in fact my experience was the result of my comparison to them in terms of size and ability to do things and not real

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire to have a place for myself where adults would not continuously interfere by checking what I was doing or planning my time as this resulted in the perception that I carried on throughout my life of not being free and then seeking for freedom in the guise of an undisciplined life where I could do whatever I wanted to do whenever I wanted

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that life sucked because I was shared among family members in summer like my step grandma who didn't like me but pretended to when my grandpa was around or my uncle who liked to kick me in the butt to prove 'who was boss' both of which left me with extensive suppressed anger that I  did not express in fear of their retaliation and a feeling that I just had to wait to grow up and then I would tell them all to go fuck themselves

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to have a fixed thought as a kid "just wait til I grow up" that I used to get through my childhood, imagining that I would leave and never turn back to those people that I believed were the cause of my anguish instead of realizing it was my participation in thoughts emotions and feelings that created the energetic experiences that I then blamed on my family and their behavior

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel humiliated when my uncle would kick me around in front of others to prove his authority when my mum was not around and for holding a grudge and hatred toward him together with spiteful thoughts on how I would just leave one day and never turn back

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel like an outcast with the kids of some of my relatives when I went to spend part of a summer with them, ending up sitting on the steps of their summer house imagining my mother walking through the gate to take me away, without seeing realizing and understanding that I was busy creating the 'loner' personality as I ended up assuming that you can never trust anyone to have your interest at heart, not even your family and that being alone would be my safest bet in my life - which then created friction inside of me every time I had a relationship and I felt my partner walked all over my resolution and commitment to aloneness by just being around

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel torn between my mother and my grandparents as I was asked to take sides once a week by hiding some of the things that happened at home to my grandmother and some of the comments my grandparents made about my mother, never feeling like I could be honest and just exist but having to always be on the lookout to remember what could be shared and what must not be shared to not anger anyone

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to associate Life with living with my family as a kid and being alive with finding ways to navigate the dangerous emotional minefield of my family, ending up always putting myself in a state of stress and anxiety, which resulted in me splitting in various personality that could handle and manage my family dysfunctions at their best, investing each character with the specific role to handle just one side of my relationships so as to make sure nothing would be overlapping and causing problems to myself and others

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty regarding my inability to be myself, to be just one and not many different 'me's as that felt like a betrayal of myself and a point of constant stress when the different parties would gather and I would have to choose how to handle myself within a Character that could please them all and within this for giving in to addictions later in life to cope with those personality switches I believed I had to keep up for survival that were extremely energy consuming 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear that I would turn out like my family, to live in anxiety for not knowing how I could prevent that as I felt that their very presence around me was toxic and yet I had nowhere else to go, and for believing I was not free and I would have to set out on a journey to Freedom which included leaving my family behind as within this I defined my freedom as dependent from being away from my family and as I came back to Italy, I walked back into the feeling of entrapment that I left behind when I left, without going to the root of the problem to sort it out once and for all

to be continued

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Monday, April 15, 2013

Day 294: Negativity - Greatest Platform for Mind Control

An interesting topic opened up during a group chat: "Negativity".

I am glad this cat is out of the bag because I could not pinpoint exactly what has been going on with me, it was not depression but something close, it increased exponentially as time went by for no particular reason, it was easier to let go of the experience of positivity which I used to seek in the past, obviously as a cover up to the inherent negativity I always felt and lived as, as the feeling of being born in a heavily fucked up world for no apparent good reason never really left me, quite a conundrum if I have not yet stepped out of whichever of the polarities of this life I have defined myself as, negativity was harder to spot, partly because it's harder to see what you have in fact always been and partly because it seemed appropriate for the world we live in, kind of the right emotional response, 'cos isn't being positive a delusion and a form of self interest in a world of suffering?
Yes, but so it's being 'negative', it is just the swinging back to a perceived 'more acceptable' polarity, something that like clothes is appropriate for the occasion, so the world is a fuck up, negativity is called for and I'll wear it, I'll believe it.

The truth of the matter is that if I go back in time, a long way back, I remember the sense of negativity from very early on, with just a few moments of break in between, when I hopped onto the happy clappy mode as I shared activities with my family for which I would be told 'you are never happy - it's impossible to make you happy' and then I started pretending to be 'happy'.

I had looked at this point already when I delved into my positive thinking times with Law of Attraction and how we would be following the 'Think Pink/Get Positive/ Look at the glass half full' crowd as a way to be accepted and fit in, no one wants to be surrounded by the gloom and doom types, I for sure didn't.

And yet, we fail to see that negativity could be just another mind delusion, a place we are born into because without it there would be no fucking way to use "positivity" as the carrot at the end of the stick and then the whole system designed to have us 'follow our bliss/happiness etc' would just not work.

If we had designed this place we would have to start people off on one polarity, the name of the game was "swinging for energy", as a platform the negative was best, then people could be emotionally coerced to seek the positive and the feel good experience instead of having them start positive and then what - seek out horrible experiences for themselves? THAT would obviously not have worked, we are stupid enough to not have noticed the "drivers", but we would NOT have been stupid enough to go from feeling good to feeling bad as an apparent choice, even Humans would not have been that stupid.

So, negativity was just a great place to start. Incidentally it was who we are as well, separation didn't work as well as we planned, a bad trip for sure, seeking for more was just never enough.

Additionally, positive people make better slaves, productivity goes up with positivity and we could be sold the happiness we craved to overcome the Negativity of our very Beingness

And then we made up all sorts of sayings, pop wisdom, urban legends to highlight how much better the 'happy people'' are to be with, which created the desire to be one of the happy ones to be accepted and to not be ostracized and in turn be one of the fake happy ones asking others to be as fakely happy as we pretended to be, a real fool proof system for mutual Mind Control.

Breaking free will require for all to leave behind not only our 'positivity' but our 'negativity' as well, because until we do, the desire, hidden or suppressed, for happy experiences and excitement will be there and external and self manipulation will be possible, probable, in fact, certain.

Tomorrow I will start to write down my experience with negativity to walk myself out of it's spell once and for all.
What is left after the negativity is gone - will be interesting to find out.

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