This would definitely be the Origin of my Hope Character.
The first time I saw the Mary Poppins movie I was a troubled kid. As I was becoming aware of the hidden conflicts and suppressions within the energetic interactions of my family, I experienced myself in a constant relentless state of tension. The documentary The Trap explains that much of those hidden energetic interactions are at the base of our Mental dis-eases as we realize that nothing is as it seems, the world is a big fat lie and yet we are asked to just step in our Role as as a Character and keep moving.
The point that someone somewhere could see troubled children all over the place and come to their rescue was a point I made mine, I was both troubled and all over the place so I definitely qualified.
When we went out of the Movie Theatre I remember feeling guilty as hell as I hang on to these Images in Hope that someone from somewhere would come to show my parents and my family The Way, how it was important to spend time with Children and to encourage their imagination.
I am not sure if I had 'Hope' before this movie, I do not recall Hope as being a big part of my Life as I was told that I was among the lucky kids, I had foods to choose from, I could even remove the fat from meat and ham as I was a fussy eater, and so the point of Luck for being fed vs the Unluck of Not being fed was already driven Home, which must have meant I was already holding one of the best spots available in The World and so there was not much space for Hope to 'move on and up' so to speak.
For months after I watched the movie I held a secret desire that Mary would come for me, I wasn't even from a rich family at the level of the Banks, only child, no Chef, I did not have a Chimney she could come in from, I hoped she would have some ingenuity and see the balcony as an option.
Today when I look back I see how we create Hopes and Lies for our kids so they will accept this world as it is, we whisper the ugly truths and frustrations of ourselves and others, not wanting to expose the Children to "Real Life", filling their Heads with Walt Disney's bullshit about Magic and how everything turns out all right at the end, hiding the Ugliness of this World in Fairy Tales that fail to tell that many Ends have come with no Happiness but as the logical conclusion of a Life lived in Misery, both emotionally and economically, while Hoping it will get better, seeing external interventions as the Only Way to Change, feeding them spoonfuls of sugar to make the Medicine, as the Bitter Truth of Human Life, go down, Make the medicine go down, make the Medicine go down.
It would be natural from such Characters to develop into full fledged Hopeful Lightworkers, professing that "Love will Change the world', turning the Love Lie into the spoonful of Sugar that makes the Medicine go down, showing that we have in fact not learnt from the Past, that being let down by Mary Poppins was not enough to give up Hope, we will look for something else, something bigger, something that must deliver as we gather together with other Dementia sufferers in support of a Comix solution, it was called Comix as in meant to make us laugh, not as in 'The New Coming', nothing ain't coming, we are the Second (or better the one millionth) coming and we have not got it yet, talk about the Superior Human Race.
I have fucked myself with Hope extensively, when what I hoped for became un-hopeable for such as a woman in Victorian clothes flying through the sky by a talking umbrella, entering my balcony and my life to sort it out, I moved on, yeap, not out of Hope, no, that would have been unthinkable as that would have pointed out that I was the One having to stand up for my own Change and a World Change, but the world provided many free upgrades to my operating system, and Love embodied them All.
Love will Change the world, emmh, NO actually it didn't, it doesn't, the "End Famine by 2010 Live Aid campaign" would be forgotten and replaced with another Hope, a shift in consciousness, a planetary shift, aliens, Mayans, bring it on, just don't ask Me to do it, or I will tell you to just Fuck Off.
And Honestly, you know How Much I Love You.
And Honestly, you know How Much I Love You.
Self Forgiveness and Self Commitment statements to let go of the Character of HOPE to Follow