Today I have listened to one of the Amazing Interview by Anu, titled "The Key to Life through Evil", it was a pretty amazing experience.
A few days ago I had listened to the "Force of Good", which was awesome too, but it didn't hit me in the same way, it is possible that I was hit more specifically by "Evil vs Good' just as a build up, because the 'Force of Good' felt disturbing and for sure I split while listening to it -the usual disappearing act-, not because I am not aware of the Evil of reality or of this Creation as Ourselves, just because it felt a bit like the news, too much bad/negative information in one go to process.
I have had very bad back pain for some time now, it is possibly a posture problem, I have added a cushion just because my mother commented that I was not sitting at the right height the last time she saw me, which was true, but it was a height and a stretch my body had adjusted to, and then I had a series of new adjustment pains that took over everywhere, from the back into my shoulder blades and my neck, it got better only when I stopped writing for a while. On the point of pain I need to write out as well, I have developed a personality with a High Pain Threshold, the Brave One -apparently- and take some pleasure in enduring my personal 'hair shirt', the proof of my endurance under the least auspicious of conditions. But this is for another Blog.
The point of today's Blog is the point of Evil, one sentence was particularly poignant in the interview and hit home: "you can always trace Evil back from Good" and interestingly enough, not viceversa.
You can't find anything good in Evil -no, positive thinking delusions and optimism do not apply as we are talking Reality in this instance-, in fact it is even truer that you need Evil for Good to exist.
To feel good, you must do something 'good' for someone who is 'out of luck' or 'feeling bad', there is never an example where Good can exist without Evil/Bad/negative being there first to create the very condition for Good to exist.
After the interview I had my own personal example. I boarded an almost empty bus and sat down, I still have issues with sitting down because my mother would make me stand as a kid because 'I did not need to sit' in case someone who needed the seat more than me, young and vibrant, would board the bus. If I had been allowed to sit, at the view of someone 'less fortunate' in age or physical condition I would have to get up and give my seat, my mum would give hers as well all according to 'who was the least fortunate', if she was, just by the fact of having a kid and possibly being loaded with bags, there would be a mental 'need' contest to assess who had more 'rights' to the seat. So I have 'seating' issues still and when I sit down even in an almost empty bus, I feel slightly guilty.
After a couple of stops a hoard of students boarded the bus, one run to sit in front of me, the bus filled up and all seats were taken, his friends gathered around him and one of them started to talk about his injured leg and how he should sit down as he was still recovering from an operation, his friend was laughing and trying to pretend he was not concerned, listening to his Ipod and looking out of the window.
Of course all my seating issues kicked in, so in my mind I went through the following backchat
- I should stand up and give him my seat - this was followed by another thought that said -you are just feeling guilty- which was true and the point was I would have stood up in guilt
Then I thought,
- if I get up I will be doing it 'to teach his friend a lesson', to show him what HE SHOULD HAVE DONE, that would be nasty
- "he is playing the operation story to get a seat'
- 'why isn't his friend getting up to give him His seat?"
This thought was the one that gave me the most relief, I had CLEARLY assessed that it was Not my responsibility to do something about it. Basically this is what goes on through our Minds on a daily basis, no matter what the subject is, we chat with ourselves until 'we feel better' about something, no matter what that entails, how much we have to 'wrong' and belittle someone else, all is fair and square until it happens in the 'secrecy' of my Mind.
The fact that such backchats has been glamourized by Hollywood in movies or series such as Ally Mc Beal, where everyone finally got to SEE what was going on through someone's mind in FACT and not the outer presentation alone that was offered, it's worrisome, we are making movies about our Mental Sicknesses and attempting to 'normalize them', just because everyone does it, it doesn't make it Normal or any less Nasty or acceptable that we have a whole parade of Personae in our Mind talking to each other, we are just one degree away from Schizophrenia, the Schizophrenics are just unable to manage the secret chit chats 'inside' and they start to externalize them, this would be just about the 1 degree of difference that exists.
The fact that we are now a few steps ahead of our Madness doesn't make us any less mad, the new trend is 'to declare' our thoughts out loud 'I said that to make you feel guilty haha', "I said that to make you feel jealous, to make you suffer, to make you miss me'', 'I know I was manipulating him/her but I did it for his/her own good', we have an infinite list of declaration of apparent 'innocence', we insist though to never question Who we really Are through everything that goes on in Our Minds. Luckily implosion is what lies ahead for All of Us, we'll get to the point of being unable to contain the crap that we circulate back and forth and we'll be forced to face it, it happened to me, if you can hear don't wait, THAT is not the best of experiences and is NOT necessary either.
Back to today's incident, what I showed myself is that whatever choice I believed I had while 'thinking myself out of that situation', such as the ones offered by my backchat, once I start thinking, I Have In Fact NO Choice, because every choice offered is only for Me, this guy wasn't even in my pictured Mind reality, one choice was to do the 'right thing' so I could feel Good about Myself, One choice was to Not do the 'Right Thing' because I saw myself wanting to do that and so I could use that point as my justification to Not Act, Another Choice was to believe he was Lying, which would solve the question right out since he would then be At Fault and the last most relieving thought was 'it's someone else's responsibility to do the 'right thing', all this of course from a starting point of having decided what is the right thing to do as a kid when my mother made me do Her Right Thing so She Could Feel Good about Herself.
Plus, if I had managed to feel good about myself by standing up, I could have done so only in the face of something bad, in this case 'an injured guy'.
SO, where is the choice between Good and Evil if not A Joke? Within our Minds, there is No Choice, there is Only the Evil Choice of the Self Interest of ourselves or the implanted choice of another in the process of feeling Good about themselves, and why are we seeking to feel Good? If we were honest about our lives, we could say that most of the time we don't feel Good hence we seek the Evil, the Bad, the negative as a stepping stone into 'our imaginary goodness'. Or we seek for it in another, failing to see we are just projecting ourselves in a Mirror, it's never about another, everything that happens in Our Minds is Who we Are.
We have to give up our Minds, our own existence as The Mind, what goes on there is not hidden, it's in full display in this World and obviously nothing to be proud of.
Today one of my friend who is not walking process with Desteni came to a self realization 'We need the Poor people, we need the ones that are one step below us, unluckier, more distraught, because this is HOW we make our own lives bearable'. So in self Honesty each one of us can see the truth of Ourselves and why we need to change, there is No Good to Save, we can safely move on, nothing of Value will be lost and we'll have to lose it all, face the Fear of 'Losing Our Minds' to walk into Life as Life.
So, for those interested in unveiling the truth of this existence, support yourself with the Interviews available at Eqafe, they are Not Uplifting, reality can't be uplifting, this is why we made up so much crap to cover it up, but it is liberating, discovering that you are Not Mad after All but just plain Evil in Disguise is the way to go, Life can be reclaimed by Each One of Us, skip and hop over the Good, that part is Not Real, so we can all get down to the nitty-gritty of our own Evilness and stop this Creation that is manifesting outside the Truth of our Being-ness inside, until we change that, nothing will change, and as everyone can see a Change is required, the sooner we get on with it, the more chances we have to save something of ourselves and of this world with and as us, so we may create a World where Evil no longer exists and Life is Honoured in a World that is Best for All.
Tomorrow I will walk my Self Forgiveness for the Evil as Me. It will sure take some posts to unravel that.