Day 187: Social Engineering - My Constitutional Right to Happiness

This is a follow up to my Post 'The Downfall of Happiness', link at the bottom

So, since Happiness seems to be the thread that hooks me left and right in many seemingly unrelated ways, I will take a look at the origin of my Idea of Happiness.

It's quite sad to realize how we are sold our drugs and fixes by our parents first, but not surprising. The Mess of Humanity is quite extensive, they did not have tools to disentangle themselves such as we have found nowadays through the Portal and the dedication of some to What is best for All Life, and so there is no reason to blame anyone, but just a commitment to walk back to see where and how such points were sown and watered and ultimately accepted by us as ourselves.

My mum suffered from depression, which sucks, it would be quite normal to not wish depression on your Children if it did not work for you, so All Parents in the World mostly unite under One Common Banner 'the wishing of Happiness for their Children', did they all suffer from depression? This I don't know, but seeing this world and what it has become it's more surprising the happy side of our make belief lives that not the depressing/sad side.

It is interesting as well to see how we have not ever questioned Reality in any way, just the point of wishing Happiness on someone as the better of the two polarities within 'feeling bad and feeling good' should have raised a flag toward the point that mostly everyone must have experienced the 'feeling bad' of living. We mainly blame this on external sources, such as poor health, lack of Money, broken relationships, some kind of loss, and yet all of us learnt at some point in life that rich, healthy people who are in a relationship have been unhappy too, some to the point of taking their own lives.

Happiness is not a given in this world, it's an achievement, we have to 'do something' to be happy, and that depends on how each one has branded and defined Happiness, but Happiness is a 'to do' thing, 'do what makes you happy' 'what do you like doing, what makes you happy?'. In this parents play a pivotal role in the selling of the 'Happiness Product', it is a product, it's marketed and sold and ultimately bought by each and everyone of us -if and when we can afford it.

Happiness sells, there isn't one commercial showing 'sad' people, sadness doesn't sell, we have invented medications to restore the biochemical Happiness we seek and have become accustomed to identify Happiness with 'succesful lives', only happy people are really successful, of course living in a Consumerist system where Happiness is for Sale, Money has to play a big role in it.
The Poor are naturally, acceptably sad.

But what about if this elusive Happiness was elusive because it is NOT a natural state, what if our Natural State of being was beyond emotions and feelings and we were trapped in this make belief world chasing good feelings while fleeing bad/negative emotions?

Wouldn't the question then be, where are the negative/bad emotions we experience coming from, why is the starting point of our existence negative/bad, so much so that the system found ways to make Happiness into a sure Sale, why is Happiness not lasting, elusive, why is everyone rooting for Happiness in a rotting world?

So, I will apply Self Forgiveness to release myself from this Idea of Happiness as an experience, as an achievement, as an aspiration I must hold on to, as my secret suppressed Desire, because it is in the seeking of what is not Real that we have signed away our Right to live outside of our self created boxes that we designed & then accepted and allowed to stay in place, until Happiness became the driving force of existence and a Constitutional Right, the best stroke of genius, because if the Pursuit of Happiness is my Right, by God I'm gonna get me some.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to seek Happiness in separation from myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that Happiness is worth dying for

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is an Happiness out there that I must seek and then achieve and then hold on to as a proof that my Life is worthy of something because at least 'I'm Happy'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel that I was letting my mum down when I couldn't generate the "Happy' feeling that I was supposes to feel so 'she could be happy too'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'the important thing in life' is to 'be Happy' failing to realize that every time I failed to 'be Happy' I would then judge my life and myself as Not Important, dispensable and ultimately a failure

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be Happy as a feeling of Happiness, without realizing that the 'feeling of Happiness' is a biochemical creation, a shot, a fix I seek to validate my life and my existence because I accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'the important thing in Life is to be Happy' and when I am not, I failed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my mum as a failure because she could not keep herself happy all the time even though she said that being happy is 'the only important thing in life' and for fearing that I may become like her, unable to sustain the Happy Feeling long enough to be likable and someone others would like to spend time with

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a failure because I could not hold on to the Happy feeling in a sustainable way and I had to come up with new things and props to make myself happy and those led me to live a self destructive life in the 'Pursuit of Happiness'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to behave in self destructive ways toward my body in my pursuit/fix for the experience of Happiness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when someone said 'nothing makes you happy' feel guilty and ashamed because I was not good at generating and holding on to this 'happy feeling' and for this I judged myself as a failure and someone who was not right but wrong and flawed


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was wrong and flawed unless I could generate and hold on to the Happy Feeling that I was supposed to feel because I had a home, food and was luckier than most and yet, it was not enough


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question the point of 'Happiness' as a dis-ease and not something that I felt at ease with due to its volatile nature and the things I had to do to reach that 'feeling' and then make it last as long as possible

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pretend to be Happy, seeking the acceptance of those around me that I knew treasured 'the Happy people with the Happy feelings' and for fearing that if I was Not Happy I would be rejected and for living with and as fear of rejection for Not Being Happy I forgive myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to be surrounded only by Happy people so it would be easier for me to keep up the Happy facade and not have to face the point that I was deeply sad and that this experience of living vs Life was less than satisfactory in any possible way

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to turn into a Positive Thinker, hoping that if I focused on the 'Good' long enough I would be able to make myself Happy and live an acceptable Happy Life, making my Life conditioned to the level of 'happiness' I could generate and hold on to, never questioning WHY we created philosophies such as 'Positive Thinking' which would not make sense unless we were 'negatively thinking/experiencing' ourselves to start with, and yet suppressing the unacceptable negativity to cover it up with the sugar coating of positivity while I allowed the negativity of me to run havoc in separation and denial of it, instead of standing up within myself and correcting my participation with and as negativity that I believed to be me until I became it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the fear of experiencing myself negatively within the belief that it was out of my power to change such experience of me and that That was who I was and that such belief was the key that run my Life blindly into the Pursuit of Happiness as I escaped the negativity and the negative experience of myself jumping right into the arms of the Consumerist system that made it its business to sell Happiness in so many disguises for a price and within this, for giving up myself in The Pursuit of Happiness I forgive myself


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist giving up the Quest for Happiness, because I feared that if I took Happiness out of the Equation, there would be nothing left since Happiness is the Most important thing in Life and when you have THAT you have everything and so I feared having nothing left and for this I forgive myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel irritated and judgemental when I see Happy People on Tv ads, because I secretly held on to the desire to be Happy, but I won't allow myself to be Happy now because I no longer want to participate in emotions and feelings, so I am sad instead, because sad seems a more justified emotions for the times we live in, at least it's real, when in fact none of them is real, nor the Happiness or the more "dignified" version of its polarity as Sadness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to Sadness because it's still an emotion, it's still something I can define myself by because what If I am not happy nor sad, do I even exist then?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as one with my experience of emotions and feelings, without ever asking myself how could I be my emotions and feelings if there was no stability but a swing I would board ad nausea and from which I just feared to get off, and for accepting and allowing myself to fear getting off my emotional roller coaster I forgive myself as I see, realize and understand that I have subjected myself as my physical body to much strain and pain within my pursuit of happiness and fear of sadness and that I am not self realizing anything just because I condemn myself to the other polarity of the Happiness swing, out of an imaginary 'decency' for which I felt the need when I understood who we are and what it is we are really doing here and for not realizing that sadness is not ennobling me in any way, it's not making me more than the 'Happy people' out there and so within this I commit myself to keep investigating how and why I am still swinging on the happiness/sadness swing instead of getting off for good once and for all, until I do, for myself and All of existence, Equal and One.

Related articles

• Day 186: Social Engineering - The Downfall of Happiness
• Day 9 - Misconceptualization of Life as Happinesss - Part 4
• Facing the Evil within - the KEY to Self Awareness - Day 188
• Day 187: After Death Communications - Part 36