Sunday, January 6, 2013

Day 236: Self Destruction is NOT Such a Pretty Little Thing

This is a follow up to my post Self Destruct Program - What if you Survive It.

When and as I see myself moving or starting to move into a sense of boredom, uselessness, impatience and any other emotion I have identified as triggers to my Self Destruct Programs, I stop, Breathe, Breathe, Breathe, bring myself back here in and as the Physical into and as stability

When and as I see myself desiring to engage triggers that I know will lead me to activate my Self destruct Character, I stop, breathe, check what is happening inside of me that makes me desire to move into Self destruction and if I can, write down what I am experiencing to release myself from the energetic movement, and if I cannot I stick to Breathe until I am able to write down my experience and apply self forgiveness

When and as I see myself imagining or moving into imagining how much better a Self destructive activity/habit would  be to anything that I am doing in the moment, I stop, breathe, do not allow myself to wander off into imagining things that aren't real and that I have proved to myself only carry an imaginary 'energetic reward', instead I push myself to remain here in and as breath until I have breathed through my desire to get off on my imagination to not be Here but off in and as my Mind

When and as I see myself wandering off  or about to wander off in my Mind through Mine Fields of thoughts that I know will lead me to this experience of myself as not enough, as if something should be added to it such as food or sweets, I stop, breathe, remind myself that I know where those thoughts lead to and that I have no need to go and check them out and push myself to stabilize myself through breath instead of suppressing myself through one of my self destructive habits

When and as I see myself moving or about to move into memories of my past failures concerning changing habits, I stop, breathe as I see realize and understand that what I have lived is not who I am and that what I lived cannot define who I am unless I give my power as directive principle away to my mind and I commit myself to not give my power away to memories of my past failures no matter how specific they seem to be to the moment I am facing

When and as I see myself reacting to my friends with chronic illnesses as I pull up the belief that it should have been me, I stop, breathe, forgive myself for desiring to punish myself for how I have lived and keep doing so until I no longer resonate with this desire for suffering and self destruction

When and as I see myself  doubting my ability to change, I stop, breathe, make the self directive decision to not accept the doubt that I can change in and as me just because I participated in this doubt and then in the con-vinction that people don't change in the past, as I See, realize and understand that the past is past and cannot define me as I stand as self directive principle to change myself to realign myself to Oneness and Equality and what is best for all, for myself and all of existence, Equal and One

When and as I see myself attempting to move into any of the above behavior, I stop, breathe, see realize and understand that, since I already know the outcome, I am attempting to find an excuse to go back to what I find familiar, as in a family legacy, see realize and understand that a legacy is a tie to myself as a Character that I no longer want to participate in, and that I have the power to step out of it through a process of accumulation of Not participating in any of the triggers leading to Self Destruction.

I commit myself to keep writing about Habits and the desire to engage them until I stand clear in and as The Change that I am scripting for myself.

Enhanced by Zemanta

1 comment:

  1. Cool blog!

    What I suggest to do is the following:

    - Add desteni buttons to your blog (desteni, equalmoney, dip, eqafe)

    - Add links to heavens/creations/earths journeytolife

    If you have any questions just browse/ask here: or contact me.