I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a resistance to the truth of Our Creation because I don't want to hear or read something that doesn't make me feel good about myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to feel good/positive about myself
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a resistance within me regarding the word 'robot' because I have judged robot to be less than humans
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I am less than a robot because I have not been able to program myself for what is best for all but just for what is best for me within self interest in fear and separation
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to the word 'robot' applied to humans because robots are not alive and I want to hold on to the illusion that I am alive and not ali(v)e
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, whenever I sit down to read Heaven's Journey to Life, to desire to fiddle, get up and do something else, without wanting to notice the discomfort I feel every time I push myself to read, hoping that the discomfort would go away by itself and not having to face that I in fact hate facing the reality of what we have become which in my Mind is diminished to a machine like existence and not even a good one at that
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to approach Heaven's Blogs as everything else I do, hoping that the discomfort will go away, denying that I feel discomfort and ultimately Suppressing the discomfort, because I don't see a common sense reason for my discomfort as I judge it as 'not logical' and I don't want to put in the time to look what is it that I have created that now has me kicking and screaming through the process of reading, but instead push for the kicking and screaming in the face of my discomfort just so as to not address how I experience myself in diminishment and shame
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel ashamed when I read Heaven's blogs regarding the utter cruelty of this creation and for feeling angry that no one else shows the same resistance but gratitude, which seems to me as the Mind so fucking misplaced because being led out of this mess is the very fucking least that the Creator should do for us, given that we have not come with an instruction manual or any sort of awareness of what it was that we were creating and how
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel angry at this Creation and the Creators and for not caring that it was the Atlanteans or the Reptilians or the Blueberry Muffins that got us where we are, and that I find disgusting that there was no awareness to start with regarding where this path was going to lead us in such a world and I want to blame them for where we are and hold on to my righteousness of 'you got us here now you get us out of here'
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to blame the creators of this existence and for wishing that they were forced into it to experience what is it like to be stuck into a Mind Consciousness System and if they would be so cool and dandy then about being willing to swap places from where they have an overview of everything and how everything works, to the encaging of ourselves into thoughts, feelings and emotions that we are just starting to grasp that we can decide if we want to participate with or not
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that 'they have it sweet' from up there in the clouds giving interviews on the hows and whys and for wanting them to pay for what they did, because we are not toys that could be created, wound up and set about a world just to produce energy for Heaven and there should not be any gratitude for this process because it is owed to us as part of each one taking responsibility for the fuck ups and getting us out of here and out of the delusion of separation
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire that those that do something that I judge as 'wrong' should 'pay' for it, which is what plays out at the moment into our imaginary Justice System, where through opinions that we call Laws some get to pay for their imaginary wrongdoings and we all get to feel safer and happier about it
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to kick Anu through the Heavens until I won't feel this rage anymore but that we have proficiently squared the books
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attempt to use logic to overcome my feelings and thoughts about this Creation, without seeing and realizing that my logic is not common sensical at the moment but a product of my mind, in which I will always desire to find the wrongs and right them, because as a Mind I live in and as polarity, and that until I live within the box of my own mind regarding this Creation point I won't be able to see the solution as me but only me as the problem and someone else as the solution to me as the problem
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hope that if I kept pushing all this would go away and I would not have to face this existential rage for this creation and the disgust for what it turned out to be, instead of facing my rage and take responsibility for it so I can clear it and move on through self forgiveness
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be disgusted at this/my creation
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to blame another for this creation and within this I forgive myself that, through this simple act of blaming, I give my power away for myself as this Creation as I state that I am not response-able for it because it's someone else's mess and They should be the ones doing the cleaning up and not me
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate my power to the desire to not be responsible just because I no longer remember how I got here, and yet when I can walk myself through the 'how I got here' I don't want to, I resist it, because when I do walk the hows and I am then faced with the Truth of me and my responsibility for this creation I will no longer be able to blame it on another and I will have to stand absolute as a point that needs to realign to Oneness and Equality and what is Best for All
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that just because I don't remember how I got here, this is enough to not make me responsible as I associate responsibility with knowledge and then with blame and then guilt and shame, instead of seeing self response -ability for what it is, not an emotion but a standing as a piece of this puzzle that decided to realign to oneness and equality and what is best for all
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself because I did not have the same 'yeah, Heaven's Blogs' of the rest of the group as I compared my participation to the participation of others and judged myself as less and bad, because of my resistances and stubborn unwillingness to look at them, instead of just facing the point and realigning myself to the benefits that this information is giving us to clear the fog and support our process of equalization to existence as One
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make up ideas about what I can expose as something that I as the Mind criticize and what I cannot criticize within the group because I fear that some things are not up for being questioned and so my feelings and thoughts are not valid and have to be suppressed, instead of seeing and realizing my thoughts and feelings are showing me who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and there cannot be anything that is off limits as I walk my path to realignment or, like in this case, I postpone taking on a topic because of my own judgements about it, and then I have to drag myself through a task that I have seen as important just because I was unwilling to clear myself through self forgiveness
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think and believe that I am unable to grasp Heaven's blog because my mind wanders many times through it, instead of seeing and realizing, my mind wandered because I allowed myself to pile up thoughts and emotions that distracted me that I did not clear up and that stood between me and the understanding of what was written in very clear terms for everyone to grasp, including myself
I commit myself to stop my existence as existential rage for this Creation as I see, realize and understand Rage comes up when I believe I am not in charge and therefore I "charge", instead I see realize and understand I am in charge of how I experience myself and the world around me and this includes Heaven's blogs
I commit myself to breathe through Heaven's blogs and be consistent in my readings so as to not pile up material that I then want to rush through to catch up and be up to date
I commit myself to, if and as I see my mind start to wander, offering thoughts as diversion, to stop and breathe, keep reading without accepting the diversion so that I can read it once effectively and not 10 times to manage to align myself to the content which I could have gotten the first time without distractions
I commit myself to stop my fear of knowing the truth about me/Us and this Creation, because when I fear I am not Here and when I am not Here I cannot Hear what I read effectively.
No comments:
Post a Comment