Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Day 331: I am Not No-Thing, yet.






As a group we are walking a Journey to Nothingness that will last 7 years, that would be about the time it took to create ourselves in the first 7 years of our existence.

It is quite scary to realize that we are basically living out all our choices, ideas and beliefs starting as a misaligned system, we have been mis-in-formed about Life and now everything we do is  robotic, having automated the choices, beliefs and opinions of all those that came before us, no wonder this world is the kindergarden of idiocy, we repeat ad nauseam the same choices of our ancestors, history proves it, if only we could see between the lines -the 'head'lines- we are in fact successful regurgitators of lives lived before our own, at most we find new ways to fuck up, we have been quite consistent in that, as it shows from the world that resulted.

Today during a conversation with B. I realized Why we are walking to Nothingness; in a way I have been wondering why we were not in fact walking to Awareness as that would be my assumption of who and what we are, 'we are 'something', right?, but are we? What and who creates this Reality?

We do, not with our Minds though, if we could manifest instantaneously the world would probably be an even scarier place, the Mind instead uses the body, which is The Creator, to establish itself as Ego, and then it provides thoughts, they are not our thoughts until we engage them, until we feed them, until they become Us, we live out the thoughts of our memory banks, we have stored Memories in the body passed on by the generations that came before, either through DNA or direct imprinting, Science has proven that our Memories, our Ill-In-Formed lives, and those of the ones that came before, are stored in the body and those are the generators of thoughts as characters and personalities. That's the only awareness that exists within us so far, the one of our memories and they are set out to survive - no matter what.

What I had  not realized is that I do create my reality, just not as I thought I did, Faith doesn't create Reality, nor the thoughts I believe I can pick and choose from what I have designed myself as, I am the programmer, the writer of the whole story, of course this story is based on my memories, I am just not aware of the details of how I do it all, yet, because as I em-body the memories that become thoughts that mine the physical for energy (you did not think that thoughts could run without energy since everything in the macro world does, so what generates that energy - the physical, we are in fact everyday busy mining our bodies for energy to keep up all the crap with which we entertain ourselves in our Minds, talk about Abusers and we don't have to look very far), I BeCome them and I am not Here but up in and as The Mind, creating alternate realities between which I switch as Characters and Personalities, anything will do as long as I don't have to be Here where I may stop searching for Me -and then what?, quite a conundrum.

There is nothing original about us as systems, we better get that into our little heads, we are so predictable that they could create a GPS software that can tell you where you will be in 4 years time - that should blow your mind, but unfortunately it won't, you will have to dissect your mind by yourself, check out how you designed yourself and fix the broken system that we are living out in and as the World.


On the other hand, Here is everything that ever existed that exists and will ever exist, the only ones missing Here so far is Us, because we don't exist yet, there is a tragic and comic point to this Self Realization, which is that the Ego, which exists solely in Self Interest -check out your thoughts for confirmation and see if they don't just come up to suggest which moves to make, which words to speak, which attitude to show so we can win, be the best, have an advantage-, the Ego believes to be SomeThing, usually something Inflated that has no connection with Physical reality - we may believe in our Minds that we are innumerable things and then when Real Physical Life happens we fail to deliver into the Physical the SomeThing that we BeLieve we are, simply because we are not any of that, we are just  unsubstantiated claims about Ourselves, the Substance of Life which was the Gift we were born with was squandered, we wasted it to fuel our addiction to our imaginary life-styles and imaginary characters and personas.

Any 'awareness' we have at the moment is an outflow of the delusions of ourselves as our own creation, at the best at this stage I can only be aware of what I Think I am or BeLieve I am or Remember I am, and not even that in full, we see only the tip of the iceberg and everything that we think or believe to be was created within a faulty starting point, the point that we had to go and look for ourselves, which took us away from Here, and as I spent my resources, as the seed of Life, seeking and aggrandizing the idea of myself and did not grow into a Tree of Life -yet- but into a Tree of Good and Evil, living Duality as Me, always in conflict with myself, Life as Me as substance  was being con-sumed. 
I am the very Creator of Consumerism by default.

So far I am just a system, I must accept this and stop the fight to try and be SomeThing else, there is nothing wrong or bad about being a system, I am a system simply because I exist in relation to everything else I ever created a relationship with, this is why my existence after so many years on earth has become robotic -did anyone else notice this about themselves, how we keep repeating the same patterns, how we keep destroying ourselves one way or another -look at how we age, it's really nothing to be proud of, many have seen parents or grandparents age and die, didn't you notice how old people shrink and look like dry raisins...mmhh, why would that be?- as we try and prove that there is something more than Here that I must look for, that there must be something more than Me, because I am just, simply, not enough.

And how do I know I am not Enough? Well, I said so, sometime, somewhere, by saying that there should be more than Here and there should be More than Me - and Now, there it is.
What now? I have created it, I have to undo it, we start by stopping to return to No-Thing, it's best that way, there isn't much to save Here, if we return to a blank slate we can treasure what we have learnt, that in Separation without consideration for everything that exists as MySelf nothing works and we'll end up into Abuse. Of a heavy duty kind.

So we first have to walk back to Nothingness, No-Thing-ness and when we stop believing or desiring to be Somethingness or HighNess or Worthlessness or anything that we have used to justify why I was in fact incapable to stand up and embrace existence as me and change me as existence, at that point we'll have done 1 leg of the journey and from there, from No-Thing-ness we can rewrite who we are going to be, better get our Information right this time, so that we can all fly in the same direction, In-formation as Life, for Life, because any SomeThing that stands between ourselves and the Whole as Oneness in Equality, must go and in No-Thingness we may see that we were always Here, that there was  No-thing to look for, because only NoThing can move out of the confinements and definitions we cast on it as an evil spell, that resulted in our separation from each other and our abdication of Life for Energy/Money inward and outward.

So, let's make peace with it, we are not something, or somebody, there isn't anything waiting at the end of our Journey, Life is not there waiting for us, because we are Nothing and always were and unless we create ourselves as Life, we can never be Life or be Alive, we are the Author of this Journey, it will be quite a trip to return to the Nothingness that we were as we remove the shackles of our own The-finitions, our Endings, can we write Life, can we be Life, can we for-Give Life to ourselves and to All Existence as One? Because we can't have what we aren't willing to give to All, as Equals, to have/be Life for me All must have it, all relationships will have to be rewritten within the understanding of what Life is, Life is For-Giving everything to ourselves and All the Rest of Existence, Equally, starting from No-Thing-Ness.

There is a Journey to No-Thing-ness, anyone can join, unless you want to be Some-Thing, make Something out of yourself, prove that you are Some-Thing more than others, then you will never be No-Thing, you will be Some-thing else, just never Life, because Life is No-Thing, its Every-Thing -that is Best for All, got it?


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Saturday, July 13, 2013

Day 324: Desteni Witness - The 'Scam' and Secret of Self Forgiveness





I have been involved with Desteni for over 2 years and I have had the privilege to visit their farm in South Africa, where I am currently staying and will be for some more time.

When I bumped into Desteni I had reached the end of my search for the Truth, had looked into everything that exists -and was aware of- searching for the reason for our existence, had practiced positive thinking and joined the Love and Light brigade, just to find there was not any less Evil within those claiming to be enlightened, or on their way there, than anywhere else and so quite disheartened, just before Desteni, I moved into Conspiracy Theories, honestly they seemed way more plausible than Love and Light given the state of the world, plus they matched my underlining eternal dance with depression, a state of being I believed I had to have inherited from my mother because this is what each one is given in coming to this world, a legacy of faults to make sure we end up believing that there is something fundamentally wrong with us at our very core, so we roll over and just wait to die without bothering to even try to change ourselves or the system as ourselves.

For 2 years I have practiced the tools of Desteni and become more stable, my life as an Italian was by design emotion and feelings driven, because we believe in Passion as the ultimate possible' intensity' that life can grant us and therefore we deliberately overlook the word 'Passion' as in 'The Passion of Christ', as in fact Life turns into an emotional roller-coaster  where we nail ourselves to, until an -nail-elation or annihilation and where we believe we have no choice but to fasten the seat-belt -or not, the rest is out of our hands - in fact conveniently so.

As a Ex Catholic, not by choice but by birth, it was predictable that my understanding of Self Forgiveness would be tainted by the context of my previous understanding of the world Forgiveness, which was deliberate because no one should know about this Secret or they would just go ahead and rewrite themselves and so -while I wrote about rewriting myself I never really got what that meant or even why the Self Commitment statements were key as a follow up to self forgiveness, because of course I can only interpret what I can conceive through my limited mind and the information available there, through which I can come to CON-clusions about what everything is and is not, so Self Forgiveness became my Eraser, a tool that I could use to delete my perceived wrongdoings and I have successfully used it that way to the point of being able to disassociate from some of my beliefs and energetics reactions, what I missed out about Self Forgiveness and why I had so much resistance to explain it to others, was that I was unwilling to share a tool that I had limited within its purpose, even though at the time I was unable to define its scope in its totality because I was unable to see that the reason why Self Forgiveness worked for me as an Energetic Eraser was because I defined it so and in fact confined it and limited it to be just that.

Today as I was listening to B. taking about it I suddenly realized what Self Forgiveness really is and why the constraints into which I had defined it had me at the point of irritation occasionally, when I would just refuse to use it or share it because I couldn't see myself blubbering away self forgiveness every time I perceive myself making a miss-take because then I would be doing nothing else, I wouldn't even have the time to live my corrective statements as I was aware that I had not yet changed what was fundamentally flawed within me, I have just started to create a void, a blank slate on which to rewrite myself and that's about it.

So, now I will share the Real Secret of Existence and what Self Forgiveness really is and WHY we can't change this world without grasping what we are required to do, each one of us to move forward for REAL and not just be passing time within the illusion that we are moving AND changing just because we babble away our self forgiveness regularly -while others don't... .I'm so ahead of the game :) - and so we are done.

Meanwhile we keep repeating the same crap and justifying WHY using our Words, that we believe are not yet alive because again, we mistook the point of words becoming alive only after WE become Life, when in fact Words are alive now, they are just either embedded with Life or Fear but all have the same power to create, because Words belong to the physical that is Alive, while we belong to the Mind that is A-Lie, missing out on that point that we are already creating and recreating our reality as every justification we use to explain why we are not changing is another lie/line in the code we keep writing about ourselves - in our total dumb unawareness that could only be born out of our consistent separation from ourselves as our Words, as the Physical, unable to direct the content of what we say and therefore are to the point that what we say 'is in fact so' because I live my words as a Commitment to myself as my Words, as the Physical, as All Life, as One and Equal.

So, speaking the words of Self For-giveness is the Gift of Life, imagine that, we hold in each one of us the power to create Life, we are not Life yet just because we have not yet granted it to ourselves, we have not yet given to ourselves everything we accepted and allowed ourselves to believe we lack, this is where Dis-h-One-sty exists, the One missing in this world is Me, because I  don't yet exist, because I have not yet created Myself, I have not yet substantiated myself by removing what I have invested outside of me into everything that seems separate from me to bring it back to me, the Physical, where the substance of Life is and where I still exist in separation because I have not given to myself the same right to exist as Life, because I am apparently Faulty and in need to be fixed and so I am busy with the fixing but not with the giving, I am For-Fixing and not For-Giving as I have believed in the Scam of the Mind instead of just stopping it to stand in and as The Physical as Life.

So you see, there are 2 ways to use Self Forgiveness, one is entertaining the Mind, and that is a Scam and a process that couldn't end in one lifetime (is this why we keep coming back, duh?), the Real Process is just to STOP participating, as par-'icipating means to be apart, to keep being separate, as everything we allow from the Mind and believe it's just another thing to be For-given and this is how we make our process longer, so we either live the Scam of Self Forgiveness and keep forgiving our sins, as we go and replace the Confession Sacrament and the Catholic Priest in our Minds, or we really get what this is all about, including the word SIN (The Greek word hamartia (ἁμαρτία) is usually translated as sin in the New Testament. In Classical Greek, it means "to miss the mark" or "to miss the target" which was also used in Old English archery) which would give a whole new contest to everything we understood so far, so what, we inherited the 'missed marks' of our parents, everyone kept missing the point, should we now GET THE FUCKING POINT right or keep following the yellow brick road of the Mind into other new, more elaborate 'mark missing' sessions vs just STOPPING The Illusion of the Mind in its tracks, no longer allowing ourselves to believe in the Characters we played, instead Breathe and start the Gifting, start getting the Mark!

If we don't do that, we are participating in the Illusion not only of the Mind but the delusion that we may bring about a world that is Best for All through forgiving our sins (hello??), if each one individually is not able to do what is best for All, which would be to bring LIFE into ME, as ME/Self as part of the Equation of Life vs the Equation of  the Mind, to do that, each one has to stop their delusions and Self realize that Life cannot be given to anyone and it is not the Prize/Price at the end of our Atonement, it is instead an act of Self Giving, of Self For-Give-ness and in granting Life to ourselves we open up the Gates of Life to All, as One as Equal, we won't be able to Grant to them their Life because guess what, it is to be For-Given to Themselves by Themselves, each one that claims to be the Creator of this reality is living in the Illusion of the Mind, as they are just default Creators, energy providers for a much bigger engine in automated motion and not Deliberate Creators, and how do we know that?

Well, they could not Create themselves, they could not For-Give themselves or others the Gift of Life, how can they claim to be Creators of Anything, as the Ability to Create Life is measured in the Capacity to Create Oneself first as Life, as a Creature that can coexist in Harmony with all existence having given to All the same Equal Value as Self and thus having created themselves as unable to do harm in any form, because Life is not Harm-Full and can be trusted to always do What is Best for All, because Life is not subjective, subjected to the whims of the Mind but One and Equal to everything that exists in and as Breath.

Now, see the Beauty of this, we all exist with the same power to create Life, Equal to Life itself, Life only asks one thing, can you give Life to yourself, no matter what, without conditions -and then, can you give Life to All, no matter what, without conditions, because you are Here, you Breathe, you were given it -no matter what, you just have to Self realize You as Life by For-Giving Life to YourSelf now and as you do, extend this Giving to All, Equally.

So far this Creation is our responsibility just by what we accepted and allowed, but not by our directive principle, this existence was created in agreement to the blueprints of others that by the way, were not Life either because Life could never have conceived such a creation of Control and Abuse, because Life is For-Giving and not For-Getting -ever- that All Life is One and Equal and as I grant myself the Right to Life I Grant it to All, One and Equal, and only then Existence will be LIFE For-Giving to All and no longer For-Getting just for Some.

So, to all those that have walked the tool of Self Forgiveness and Self Honesty so far robotically, just like me, perceiving the value of the tool while not grasping The Gift, mistaking Self (H)Onesty with Honesty, spilling the beans on their sins and only milking the benefits of no longer being trumpled by emotions and feelings, reassess your Self For-Giveness, take the plunge into this Equal Standing to become a Creator and when you do, understand what it means to Give As You Would Like To Receive and see that such principle must start with you, give YourSelf what you would like to receive first, use your words as living words now, so that you can become One with them and no longer wait for them to 'come Alive' while you live the Lie that they are NOT -just because You are Not Alive Yet, and when you go about Creating Yourself, just make sure that you Create Yourself as Life and not as Fear, because Life is Fear-Less as For-Giving to All and giving to All what we would want to live is the place where Fear will end to exist forever more, and keep checking what you stand as, and when you are Life you will know because you will no longer be for-getting your role in and as an Equal Creator of Existence as you will be too busy For-Giving Life to YourSelf until you will be Life that stands Equal and One to the Life that is yet to come for All of Existence, Equal and One.


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Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Day 316: Patterns - Shall I Repeat Myself - or Not?






I have just read one of the amazing blogs in the Creation's Journey to Life series titled

Personal Choice and the Effect on One’s Life.

I am  dealing with a behavioural pattern relative to relationships, this time I kinda saw the pattern coming and I knew where it would take me because I have ridden this pattern many times before, the dead end is when I finally manage to harm another, at that moment I snap out. Way too late.

Did I stop myself before this time? NO, because I am used to the ride, because this is what I have defined Life and myself as, a series of unavoidable disasters for which I have braced throughout my life hoping that I would survive the impact when it would come, and at times, hoping that I wouldn't. 

Yesterday my mum came to visit me and talked about a pattern she is becoming aware of and we tried together to unravel it, the pattern was about being punishing, I asked if she could walk herself back to when it started and she said that she had memories of her grandma telling her to go away when she would ask for her forgiveness and of her mother one year purposely not calling for her birthday as a punishment, she said 'grandma was very punishing, you know' and I do, I just managed to stay out of her punishing streak way better than my mother by not doing or saying what she would do and say. Suppression starts at home, so does multiple personality disorder we all suffer from and the paranoia that arises from the stress of being in 'Character', always managing the chorus of voices in the head that are demanding, judging, scaring the living beejesus out of all those that listen. 

What I found interesting in this chat is that my mum had more memories of when it was done to her than of when she did it herself, for example with me, because I myself recall a birthday in which she told me she had found something she was sure I would have liked at the market but didn't buy it because she didn't feel like it, since I didn't deserve it. Those were my teenage years, when the flames of rebellion burnt high and mighty and parents felt the need to increase the crushing to make sure nothing was left of value of their children, just because they were raised in the same -appalling- way and never questioned the 'patterns' they themselves repeated.
SO, I myself took on board the same punishing personality, it manifests for me especially inside MEAN-ing-FULL relationships, where for some reason I believe anything goes and I should be forgiven everything I do or die trying, no matter the amount of harm I elicit to inflict.

Yes, because this was the point of the above Blog, how we in fact use a pattern to repeat ourselves and our mistakes and call them a 'habit of behavior' which is the outflow of a habit of thought which was generated by a memory that we accepted and allowed ourselves to live in our flesh and go on to clone, seeking closure, seeking ways to self affirm its right to exist and live as us until it solidifies into a whole personality network with thoughts and feelings of its own and then we are left as the spectators of lives we no longer can control, as the plethora of characters we created take over for the day, for the week, for a lifetime that goes while we are never Here participating and making the choices that would Matter, those that would depart us from what we have taken on board by dysfunctional people who themselves took it on through dysfunctional exchanges by other dysfunctional people and yet we come to believe that we are the minority, we sit in fear while we as our Minds have a field day in the front lines, a bit like what we do with the monetary/world system, where the 99% claims they can't find a solution to the problem of the world because the 1% is holding the wheel and there is nothing we can do. Hellooo?

One of my friend wrote about a kafkian character, a jailer, who used to carve the sins of the inmates on their flesh, so aren't we all kafkian jailers, aren't we the ones carving ours and other miss-takes into our flesh and then go and live them out, over and over, until we automate them and THEN we can finally say we have lost the response-ability to Change when in fact as in any operating system, it's just about rewriting the script we have lived by, meticulously and specifically, just as much as we did when we specified our reasons for why we were entitled and allowed to keep doing what we did and why we could not stop, when in fact we could.

This is a lesson I have learnt from my mum as she is eager to know everything and more about Desteni, pushing me to get organized for my trip to SA -get the passport, what are you waiting for, you are resisting this trip- and told me that she always followed me for solutions -hence get your ass to SA, lady!-, which brought on a truckload of guilt as my solution was to live ostrich like with my head well buried in the sand while I preached the doctrine of love and light and now I have not shared what I am learning in full because it's all too overwhelming at times and I am still finding my own footing in this new realizations of what we are and what we have done and the need, the burden to have to fix it all.

So, I told my mum the other day, 'imagine that we are an operating system', I usually choke on this words, the fall from what I believed to be to the realization of being possibly less than an operating system so far seems just too much to bear at times, I preferred it so much more when I believed I was divine, in the image and likeness of god and yes, that would make god as good of a psycopath as myself, but we were working on forgetting our sins together, both myself and God, until Desteni came around to say that nothing goes away until we realize how we did it and correct it into a solution, hard to believe in a world where we could delude ourselves about the point that there are no consequences we have to bear if we have enough money to escape them, isn't this the point of Money after all, the guarantee that if we pile up enough we can shift our responsibility onto others, we can 'buy' our way out of anything and so busy we became with that that we missed out on seeing that consequences don't go away, they are here to stay until we address them into a solution that works for all. Kansas just went bye bye.

My mum said 'wow, this is comforting', it's good to know we are just an operating system, then all the guilt and crap we can let it go and rewrite the script' - where were you woman when I struggled so much with this idea? Where all solutions have always been, right in front of our face, it's the fear of the consequences that prevents us from accessing solutions and I still have plenty, the fear of looking at what I did as a faulty operating system, I could have operated for what is best for all but I did not, it's not too late though because I breathe and I am here, I am the potential of a Life, can I rewrite myself into a fully functional living being? That is to be seen, but there would not be any other better test than have to design oneself into a part of the whole that considers the whole and self at the same time at all times, that would have been what a Creator of Life would have designed, are we Creators of Life or Supporters of Death?

We'll have to Live to answer this for ourselves, the stage is set, the props are in place, now the Author comes in, we have the Authority, the Authorship, we get the royalties for what we write, they are called con-sequences, can we keep conning ourselves into sequences of behavior of which we know the ending or shall we stop, get off this The-Mented ride, dust ourselves off and sit back at the drawing table, we didn't do well so far, the proof is in the pudding, in the world we live in, what we Authored and Authorized is not worthy of Creators of Life, let's redo it from scratch, we can do way better than this and so We Shall.

Continuining tomorrow to unravel how I created a life of Paranoia in relationships that I then went and called a Pattern, to justify why I was allowed to keep repeating it because I am not Alive yet but just A Lie seeking to justify the harm and abuse I participated in and no longer want to exist in and as.



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Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Day 305: Life - A Title on the Stock Market

Three people in chains, probably somewhere in ...


It is hard to imagine Lives getting better for All.
We resist the idea of a system that would support everyone Equally, regardless of their gender, culture, education or starting personal wealth. It is unheard of in fact.

This is why my mum perceived herself somehow as unwillingly dragged into the idea of Equal Money, not because she would not like everyone's lives getting better, she just fears hers getting worse. 
It is the logical consequence of having accepted a system of winners and losers, we hears the sayings 'some win some lose', we know that 'you can't always win', that 'winner takes all', we under-stand the idea that not everyone can have it good, we have become this idea in the flesh.
So, the winners, those who somehow managed to get access to a dignified life, including those who barely made it there, fear that having everyone's life improve would mean that something 'has got to give', that We might have to give something up of what we managed to store away through a life of sacrifices within a model of  Mutually Agreed Abuse.

In a way, as sad as it is to bcome aware of it, we don't want others out of the Rat Race, we want to stay Equally Rats or Slaves, even when a chance to buy back our freedom by granting to all others a dignified life presents itself, we have to battle with our internal psycopath that states that 'since I had it hard to earn what I have, now I am worth More than those who didn't', we fail to see that what we are actually doing is to glorify the abuse we had to endure to justify why we accepted and allowed it to just then pass it on.

One interesting discussion took place with my mum, as she stood for her right to a dignified life, she found logical to insist that those who did not endure what she had to endure to earn her same dignified life and, for example, wasted their wealth at the beach -that would be me on my Law of Attraction delusional trips by the way- should not be granted her same rights, it was interesting to see how we go about manipulating the words we use to make them sound right(eous), common sensical, because it's OBVIOUS that those that have not slaved should not be granted a Life, as not have access to Money, which has become the entrance key to the Pantry of the Earth resources such as food and water, electricity as heating, healthcare as being able to take care of one's body -is in fact a condemnation to Death, a real Death Sentence, we have Mind Dichotomies in which some can't imagine Abortion or Death Penalty but we can gingerly go about saying that not everyone has the same right to Live, to Life because granting that to all would diminish Me, my efforts, my precious accepted Slavery and this is not conceivable or computable and therefore we will not take a chance to see the possibilities of a New World, we won't allow ourselves to consider being diminished or belittled in this Casino of an Existence, we are treating Life like a Title on the Stock market, the more Titles are put on the market, the less value MY 'dignified life' has and as such, I rather have some starve and die than give up my exclusivity, not forgetting that 'I earned what I have', meaning I did accept my Economic Slavery and By God, you'll accept Yours, you won't get away with it!

SO, let's ask each other this simple question 'do we think that there is anyone in the world that doesn't deserve the right to live?', then a blip of 'cannot compute' goes off, because no one in their right mind would want to be the kind of person that says such a thing and in that moment we become aware at some level that we are holding conflicting beliefs about what is The Right to Life in a world that can't guarantee a job for all and refuses to give a basic income to live to all, just because we don't want to push beyond our imaginary Mind limitations and expand ourselves and, with that, all others to a new way to live together in Harmony and Peace.

Maybe something that can help us walk through this point is the recognition of our Slavery, yes it sucks to see how we have fooled ourselves about being Free, if we could see for real how we are all indebted to ourselves, to each other and then to this system, we would consider solutions to break free, we would consider that those that are not in a position to access the money system have not all been on the beach like me for some time, some have slaved without a pay, some don't even know that there could be another way to live and so this task falls on those who have the ability to see that there is no reason to chain others to the same chains we endured, we can All Break Free Together, redesign a system that works for all, that considers that nothing can be excluded from Life as that would exclude us from it and push ourselves to learn what it would mean to give to others what we would like for ourselves vs forcing others within the same slave system we endured and sacrificed for.

A lot of for-giveness is thus required, to for-give to everyone, including ourselves, to for-give back to ourselves our sorry lives and as we forgive what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to live, others won't have to live it too and yes, some who find themselves at the end of their Life cycle might resist the idea because there may be no chance that we will see this new system through, but if we want change just so we can benefit from it, it's not the Change that is required. The required Change is to will in place a Global change for all regardless of how 'I' may benefit from it and that will be the key to Life, as we grant to others Life, so we shall be Life too and our pasts will be for-given and on their ruins we will build a New World to be done with Slavery forever to never, ever, look back.


EqualMoney: the Life we said we dreamed about, available to All, no one excluded.




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Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Day 280: We Baptize Apples now, so They Won't go to Hell.








We are facing a new trend in Italy. We are naming Apples.
I am not sure about how this takes place, if they have daddy apple and mummy apple present when the naming takes place, I have not heard of Apple gatherings after Baptism where all Apples get together to eat and drink and be merry.
What I know for sure is that not All Apples are born Equals.

The 'Melindas' are more expensive than the 'Melasi'', 'Melasis' are born with some defects by the same manufacturer, but they don't satisfy our eye, so they have less value, 'Marlenes' are BIO, so they got a name for themselves, we couldn't let one producer take the market by storm by having a name just for themselves, so now soon, all our apples will have names, their names will tell us where they come from, who they are, their past, present and future, their name is their destiny. Why is that?
Just so, someone said they had a certain value, built a value for them and we believed them, so now to be chic, we will no longer buy vulgar nameless apples, we want to know their progeny and we want to pay More to get the baptized apples, because if we can afford to pay More for something, we have More Value, we buy our Value/Worth now on the street stalls just like everywhere else, but putting value on food through a name is quite a recent trend.

Are we showing something to ourselves?
What is it that is preventing us from seeing that All Apples were born Equal before we decided that they were not, oh wait, we do that with people too, we use names and other traits to define the value of some vs the value of others, and then we go and believe it. And force on the ones less worth (y) a specific predictable destiny, normally one we would not like for ourselves, but that is the price to pay to be born in a world where everything has a price, where Life has a price we must pay and is NOT given for free to All.

There is no reason to put a price tag on everything that exists if not because we have become worthless.
If we were clear about our value and worth as Life, we would never allow Life to be monetized, we would see no sense in doing such thing as putting a price on what was born price-less.

We live in a system that doesn't care for Life, we are this system and we don't care about Life, if we did we would tend to all Life expressions Equally because it would be clear to us, that there is no other value above Life and that everything that is here in and as support is given for free, for us to share with each other, we could be the keepers of each other and create a world that works for all, a Price-less world.

We see this as a possibility, although remote at the moment, there is a chance that we may wake up to the point of what is really valuable, we may even wake up and see we must have come to this point with some help, it's fathomable to imagine that someone led us here while we were sleeping and hoping to not have to take self responsibility for Our Creation, and in the process we have been monetized too, our lives have a price and is really cheap, we justify what we do in this world as a system that we were born into and can't be changed, it's cool to give up now and tell ourselves we are just transiting, what if we are due back here again until we sort this out?

Will we then enjoy the world that we left behind, a world of poverty and famine, of neglect and violence, of war and abuses, a world where we are deliberately making choices that do not include others, where if you are called Jose' you are worth less than Elizabeth, was our naming enough for us to not deliver us to Hell?

Apparently not, we have created Hell in our separation and now we believe Hell is the best we can do, when in fact we are just potential waiting to be molded, will we mold ourselves Pro Life or Pro profit?
We decide.

At Equal Money, we realize that everyone has the same Worth and we recognize that our Equal Value as Life must drive our choices, as Children of the same Earth.
Nothing stops us from being our Brothers Keepers but Us, We can Change and take the World as Us with us into a New Paradigm as Heaven on Earth for All. Join us.



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Friday, September 14, 2012

Day 144: Deleting the Hatchet Consultant/Director


Deleting:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a Character that wants to get rid of inept people at work because they stand in the way of the Company performance

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge people as The Money System, as in profitable or not profitable and for desiring to trash all the non profitable ones

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the value of a being at work is related to how he performs and that when he under-performs or when I have an opinion about his/her lazy attitude they should be trashed because they are of no use to the system as efficient cogs in the machine, instead of seeing that we All have Equal value as Life and no one should be trashed out of their lifeline because they have not aligned to 'system requirements'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that people must perform 'well' at work to be of any value because the ones that did not were discarded and I feared being discarded and trashed and experiencing myself as devalued

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that some people who are incompetent and arrogant should just be kicked out of a company, instead of seeing and realizing they have become arrogant because they are incompetent and they fear to lose their jobs and their right to live as a job within this system means the ability to make money and buy one's place within the system

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being labeled as arrogant and incompetent, especially if the two are paired together

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make up my mind about people and how they work and once I have made up my mind about their ineptitude I just look for proofs that they are inept beyond repair and they have to be disposed, because I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a good manager gets rid of the dead weight inside a company to gain the respect of other employees who are carrying some of the dead weight's workload

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I don't care to be hated at work, when in fact I desire to be loved and one way I go about it is to trash and throw out of the company the people that I see have become a source of discontent, because it would require more time for me to help and support them to correct themselves within a working environment for which I perceive I am responsible and because I believe that people 'just don't change'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, once I step into the Hatchet Consultant Character, just no longer see any common sense, such as, can this guy/lady make a living out of here or should we keep him/her because he can't make a living and help and support him/her to find a way to give his best even within a tedious routine oriented environment, because this is what we are working with at the moment and unless he/she aligns with it he/she will have to leave, if not through me, through someone above me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel irritated once I have made up my mind as the Hatchet Character about somebody and the time for 'off with the head' has come, if someone at the last moment steps in in their defence, and to perceive this movement as a betrayal as in something personal against me and my authority "what do you mean, I am doing this FOR YOU as well, why are YOU doing this to me?"

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel uneasy about thinking to throw someone out of the company and for seeing that I could just step into my Hatchet Director Character where all guilt goes away, because I am just doing my job and there is nobody that can save such a dumbass from himself/herself if at his/her age he has not yet understood how to toe the line and carry his share of the shitload

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resent the ones that resist leaving the company once I have decided they should no longer be there, because come on, you know what YOU are doing, and NOT doing that is creating this situation, so why are you resisting the inevitable, instead of just packing your things and leaving and maybe start afresh in a new job, ah yes, you are resisting because this job is your only chance to live, too bad, you created this for yourself, move along, we have work to do here

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire that once I have identified someone to be hatched when I move into a company, that they too should agree with me, making my job less unpleasant, because I don't like getting rid of people who need a job to live and who have a family, and so I have to force myself to not think about these points or the difficulties he/she may encounter once out of the company, because I am just doing my job

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a Hatchet Consultant Character, as I saw that people's jobs were not guaranteed and there was nothing safe in this world, and it was better to cross the line and move among the ones that do the Hatching than be among the ones Hatched, so basically I created this Character out of Fear of one day losing my job

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become possessed by the Hatchet Character, in which times I cannot hear any reason or have no Self Will to stop myself to consider the other person because I have launched myself into a mission, Hatching, and whatever follows afterward is of no relevance to me because I have made up my mind, meaning I am in full possession as the Hatchet Consultant/Director

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that, if I do the Hatching of the dead weights once I step into the Company, I will get respect and will promote a fearful situation where people will fear to lose their job around me if they under-perform or are just lazy bums and everything will run more smoothly for everybody

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that promoting Fear among the People who need a job to 'make a living' is an act of cruelty and that if I am in a position of leadership I should promote a Fear Free environment as what is best for All, as in no one is left behind as the assurance that everyone's job is in fact guaranteed, and help and support the ones who are slower or less efficient to catch up so that they won't lose their jobs by my hand or by someone above me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that having respect in the workplace is important and that whatever I need to do to get that respect is acceptable, because one needs "respect" to manage other people and since 'respect' is a working tool I am justified in what I have to do to get unconditional respect as a tool to operate smoothly within the company

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that Respect is best and most easily obtained through Fear, because my mother used Fear to get my respect and I actually did not respected her but hated her quietly and suppressed everything inside pretending respect to stay out of trouble

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to repeat my family's behaviour and opinions and delusions about 'respect' and how to get it and for dreading not having it from the people I was supposed to manage, because how can I manage without respect?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that we need 'respect' for management, which basically is an admission of inferiority that I try to balance out while I stand in the company hierarchy as above/superior and so demanding by the Right of the Hierarchy to be respected as More and Above and not One and Equal to all the workers within the company

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that leadership means being MORE and Above others, because one leads from the front and who is in front is first, the winner and the others are just the losers who have to tag along on the road that I design for them to walk on

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge people as more or less according to how much money they make and what position they cover within a company's hierarchical chart

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see everyone as an Equal because I bought into the idea that some people are more important than others within a company according to how much money they make and the position they cover, because we are not all born equals and we are not equals anywhere and a Boss is more than an employee, it's obvious or he/she would not be The Boss

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to tell my staff 'don't call me Boss' playing out a fake Equality which was clearly never there, because the Hatchet Character believes she has the right of life and death over people and their jobs and their right to 'make a living/surviving in the system'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to secretly enjoy when my staff called me Boss and to enjoy as well telling them to not call me Boss as an Act of Grandeur, as I gave up -apparently-my right to superiority and power for fake Equality as a point of Value

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live in fear of losing a job, since I was once fired when I was 17 and run away to Ireland and they offered me a job in a Fish and Chips shop, and I stole chocolate because I believed they paid me shit and I was entitled to at least have access to the chocolate bars as a compensation, and when it fell from my pockets as I was going out and I faced that moment of utter shame, I decided I was never going to feel that way again and I would do anything in my power to grow to the other side of the power line to never ever be in a position to be laid off and experience myself the same way again

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, since I suppressed this memory as far as possible to never relive the shame and guilt I felt, not remember or see that whenever I would do this to another I would in fact subject them to the same guilt and shame, and yet I did not care because the point was always that I should never experience myself that way, the others, if by their age have not managed to catch up and work out the system, they could fuck off

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live one and equal to the shame and guilt of that moment in which I was found out for stealing chocolate bars, not because I stole, but because I became exposed and could not deny that I did steal the chocolate bars or explain why I got to the point of feeling entitled because I was overworked and paid peanuts in a shitty job and so I was left with my shame and guilt I chocked back all the way until I got back home

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make up stories about why I was right and they were wrong to lay me off, because they should have seen that I deserved more money or chocolate bars in the lieu of money, instead they kept pulling the rope until it broke, instead of owning up to the fact that I should have asked for what I thought I deserved and not bottle up just to come to a point of entitlement in my own mind in which there was no reasonable doubt that I in fact was not stealing but squaring the books, except when the owner of the fish and chip shop looked at the fallen chocolate bars and then at me like 'what the fuck were you thinking?'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that when something proves me wrong, I have to make up a story to prove me right, instead of seeing and realizing how it was that I drove myself to the point of entitlement, which is a pattern I have lived out again and again that even though I did not play out in the same way, left me feeling the same, frustrated, overworked and underpaid, until I would leave my jobs , no mater what they offered me to stay because I always took the point that 'they did not give me what I deserved' as Their fault and Not my responsibility to state my price clearly and not rely on others to read my Mind or to guesstimate what value I have in Mind that would make me feel justly paid, that I don't wish to communicate

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to do to others what I did not enjoy done onto me, stepping into a company just to revamp it and redesigning logistics and responsibilities and within this believing that it was my duty to get rid of the dead weight, while I kept playing out the reversal of my moment of shame and guilt, trying to get even with the world so I would no longer be the only one carrying such shame and guilt, all done through a Character, the Hatchet, because if I would stop and see the consequences into other people lives I would have made different decisions both about the words I spoke and about the stand I took to reduce the useless and inept staff

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that what I did showed my strength as a woman, that they should not fuck with us since we had more balls than all the men within a company that wanted, wished some staff fired but did not have the balls to do it, but I did, failing to see that maybe the men for whom their identity is so invested in their careers, just did not want to do to others what was unbearable for them which made me in fact the only one wanting people out of companies into the street, so I could even out the book from when I perceived myself as bad, to now perceiving myself as good as in having the kind of power that makes or break someone's present and future.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to carry my Hatching deeds or prospect Hatching deeds as a badge of honour that proved I was one not to fuck with at work, instead of seeing and realizing I had just slipped into Corporatism and Capitalism up to my neck, believing and accepting that Money is more important and above Life, because around me my Life was never respected, but when I had money in my pocket All games changed and so Money was obviously More Powerful/Important than Life, because without Money you die, oops, even without Life you Die, in fact when you no longer have a physical body that is when you are really dead and Gone, I just did not see it that way at the time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that some people that I have pushed out of a company or just compensated and asked them to leave, just asked for it, deserved it, just because they were slow and did not get how it is to become efficient in the system so your job is secured, and for never developing the mercy to see that in a system where Job=Money and Money=Life, it would have been my responsibility to stand in and as support instead of in and as the hand that severed their lifeline to the system



I commit myself to delete the Hatchet Consultant Character because it doesn't support Life or What is best for All

I commit myself to, if I should ever cover such a position of Power again, investigate all ways through which I can support and help someone to grow enough to hold his place effectively within the system, not by doing their jobs and creating credits for myself inside of me, but by helping them to see how we work on timelines and priorities regarding production and organization, to share my knowledge regarding office efficiency without reserve and unconditionally until the other person can walk the point effectively by themselves

I commit myself to support All Life, within and without the working environment, by walking my Path of Self Correction to realign to Oneness and Equality and What is best for All

I commit myself to, if I should see that this Character still exists and My Mind offers me to step into it in full gear, to stop, Breathe, remind myself that as this Character I have nothing of value or worth to share or give or Breathe into existence, so I keep my mouth shut and Breathe myself back into the Physical and I commit myself to not speak until I am sure I have no reactions or links to this Character and if need be, to reopen this File until this Character is forever deleted, for myself as Life and All of Existence, Equal and One.




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