A few months ago I had the privilege to start translating the Equal Money book - I did only the first chapter.
Apart from the point of how much I struggled to deliver the same concept in my own mother tongue, the reading hit me like a rock in the face.
Suddenly many words that we use currently that I had never noticed took on a life of their own, it was like for a while everything around me was just about Money, and I mean every-single-thing.
It took me a while to land back in a sort of functioning reality, in a space where I could hold the realization and still live, it was not just humbling, it was sad and depressive and quite hopeless to realize that in fact, no matter how well we have disguised it, there is pretty much nothing else in our self created worlds at the moment, but Money.
If we look at our relationships, they are ALL money based, we give ourselves all sort of clues, we use Money words to tell ourselves that we are locked into a fictional nightmare, but then we have managed to dismiss the annoying question of 'there is something wrong here', manly because if we did admit to the 'there is something wrong here, hell for sure' we would have to seek solutions that we mainly don't know where to get, we don't know how to change, we fear facing the uselessness and un-realness of our lives, because THAT would be really upsetting, all this stress and anguish and we are not even alive, fuck.
So, today I want to write a relationship vocabulary that is Money based, maybe others will have my same realization that we are in fact the Very Money System that we wish to change 'out there' and that it's us through our accepted beliefs, opinions and our very words -that WE are the ones monetizing everything that is here, it is not the system doing that, we AS the System breathe Life into the monetary words we speak, and in separation from them, an alternate reality that is ONLY about Money took Life, took our Life, the lives of everyone and made a life for itself, from which we have been excluded, mirroring what we are doing to our words, use them to mold an existence in place for which we take no responsibility - and so, equally- the system born out of it takes no responsibility for us, we were the Master Creators and equal to us, we created a Master Creator System, the Money System and as we separated from it, it separated from us and applied all the same allowances and acceptances of its Creators, selfishness, ruthlessness, "mememe", now the System exists independently, we have lost access to it, we created it in such way that we never had access to it, and now it plays out what we play out, preferences, inequality and privileges, just for some.
This is but a short list of words we use everyday in apparently non-money related situations
dear, treasure, precious, value, valuable, appreciation, appreciate, worth, worthy, wealth, wealthy, privilege, classy, cheap, cheaply, invest, investment, trust ..etc.
Another thing we can see in self honest examination, is how We regulate our relationships based on our internal Value System, which is nothing else but having 'appreciated' people on a ladder that specifies who can do what for me, having 'preferential' treatments for some vs others -based on the previous point-, having someone 'dearer' than others, seeing someone 'cheaply', holding someone 'indebted' claiming 'credits' for something said or done in their favor, 'loving' those in a closed circle of trust as a trust-fund and the rest of the time spending it assessing what are our choices/options, all this based on what we have access to according to the 'value' in numbers we have available, granting ourselves the right to receive something from others only if we have the collaterals to guarantee we'll be able to pay back.
We are the Living Money System, time to face the Money Point not as something separate from us, but as Us, then as we change who we are in relation to Money and we remove the monetary value from everything we have bestowed it upon, the system must change, because we change as The System, the living, breathing Money system itself.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that there isn't a Monetary System out there, but the reflection of a system of Value I participate in as I separated myself from my words and allowed myself to create a system to manage my 'relationships of Value and worth' outside of myself
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to, when I first realized that everything I did in my Life carried a monetary value, and that all my relationships had been carefully measured and designed for me to maximize my chances to win at the Money game, to feel ashamed, and instead of clearing that shame and standing up within myself, to dismiss the point as too big to even be conceived, as more and more words showed to me the inherent nature of myself and Humanity and the game we are playing, and for believing I am one and equal to that moment of Shame in which I realized myself as One of the bricks of the Money system, I forgive myself
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I dug into this Money point and who I am within Money, that there would be nothing that had not been contaminated by my desire to get the upper hand and to guarantee my own survival in the face of many who did not have enough to live, and for making up the belief that I could not be different or change so I would not have to change and move out from my own value system that gave me a sense that I knew what I was doing and that I was going to make it, I forgive myself
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to, when a word that is Money related comes into my awareness, to refuse to follow the timeline of this word to be able to clear it once and for all, in fear that I will lose the value as credit that I have accumulated upon that word that I know I can use on the "Word market", and for desiring to hold on to my own word definitions and their market value, I forgive myself
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create within each of my personality some money managing traits that I could use to gain an advantage on others because I could, once the shame would hit home, switch into another one of my personalities and keep myself Character Hopping to not catch up with the shame of not standing for a world that was best for all but only seeking what was best for me and for this, I forgive myself
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire that the Money System would change Out There, because to Change the Money System within I would have to let go all my definitions and word-credits that I have accumulated in a lifetime of playing the Money game, and for fearing to let go and experiencing a sense of loss due to my own investment that did not bring home the promised results as self-interests, I forgive myself
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I leave behind what I know and who I have been and my ability to make money no matter what, that I would be in fact jumping into nothingness, because the system we are redesigning is not ready yet to catch us all in a supportive net that can guarantee a life of dignity for all, and for wanting a sure reward before I move for a system that is best for all just because I have accepted and allowed myself to embrace life as a system of rewards and punishments, I forgive myself
I commit myself to stand for a system that works for all and to keep walking to stop my separation between the money system outside and the money system as Who I am, so as I stand One and equal to it, I can direct it as myself for what is best for me as best for all, for myself and All of Existence, Equal and One.