Day 269: Humanity - The Living Money System

A few months ago I had the privilege to start translating the Equal Money book - I did only the first chapter.

Apart from the point of how much I struggled to deliver the same concept in my own mother tongue, the reading hit me like a rock in the face.

Suddenly many words that we use currently that I had never noticed took on a life of their own, it was like for a while everything around me was just about Money, and I mean every-single-thing.

It took me a while to land back in a sort of functioning reality, in a space where I could hold the realization and still live, it was not just humbling, it was sad and depressive and quite hopeless to realize that in fact, no matter how well we have disguised it, there is pretty much nothing else in our self created worlds at the moment, but Money.

If we look at our relationships, they are ALL money based, we give ourselves all sort of clues, we use Money words to tell ourselves that we are locked into a fictional nightmare, but then we have managed to dismiss the annoying question of 'there is something wrong here', manly because if we did admit to the 'there is something wrong here, hell for sure' we would have to seek solutions that we mainly don't know where to get, we don't know how to change, we fear facing the uselessness and un-realness of our lives, because THAT would be really upsetting, all this stress and anguish and we are not even alive, fuck.

So, today I want to write a relationship vocabulary that is Money based, maybe others will have my same realization that we are in fact the Very Money System that we wish to change 'out there' and that it's us through our accepted beliefs, opinions and our very words -that WE are the ones monetizing everything that is here, it is not the system doing that, we AS the System breathe Life into the monetary words we speak, and in separation from them, an alternate reality that is ONLY about Money took Life, took our Life, the lives of everyone and made a life for itself, from which we have been excluded, mirroring what we are doing to our words, use them to mold an existence in place for which we take no responsibility - and so, equally- the system born out of it takes no responsibility for us, we were the Master Creators and equal to us, we created a Master Creator System, the Money System and as we separated from it, it separated from us and applied all the same allowances and acceptances of its Creators, selfishness, ruthlessness, "mememe", now the System exists independently, we have lost access to it, we created it in such way that we never had access to it, and now it plays out what we play out, preferences, inequality and privileges, just for some.

This is but a short list of words we use everyday in apparently non-money related situations

dear, treasure, precious, value, valuable, appreciation, appreciate, worth, worthy, wealth, wealthy, privilege, classy, cheap, cheaply, invest, investment, trust ..etc.

Another thing we can see in self honest examination, is how We regulate our relationships based on our internal Value System, which is nothing else but having 'appreciated' people on a ladder that specifies who can do what for me, having 'preferential' treatments for some vs others -based on the previous point-, having someone 'dearer' than others, seeing someone 'cheaply', holding someone 'indebted' claiming 'credits' for something said or done in their favor, 'loving' those in a closed circle of trust as a trust-fund and the rest of the time spending it assessing what are our choices/options, all this based on what we have access to according to the 'value' in numbers we have available, granting ourselves the right to receive something from others only if we have the collaterals to guarantee we'll be able to pay back. 

We are the Living Money System, time to face the Money Point not as something separate from us, but as Us, then as we change who we are in relation to Money and we remove the monetary value from everything we have bestowed it upon, the system must change, because we change as The System, the living, breathing Money system itself.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that there isn't a Monetary System out there, but the reflection of a system of Value I participate in as I separated myself from my words and allowed myself to create a system to manage my 'relationships of Value and worth' outside of myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to, when I first realized that everything I did in my Life carried a monetary value, and that all my relationships had been carefully measured and designed for me to maximize my chances to win at the Money game, to feel ashamed, and instead of clearing that shame and standing up within myself, to dismiss the point as too big to even be conceived, as more and more words showed to me the inherent nature of myself and Humanity and the game we are playing, and for believing I am one and equal to that moment of Shame in which I realized myself as One of the bricks of the Money system, I forgive myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I dug into this Money point and who I am within Money, that there would be nothing that had not been contaminated by my desire to get the upper hand and to guarantee my own survival in the face of many who did not have enough to live, and for making up the belief that I could not be different or change so I would not have to change and move out from my own value system that gave me a sense that I knew what I was doing and that I was going to make it, I forgive myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to, when a word that is Money related comes into my awareness, to refuse to follow the timeline of this word to be able to clear it once and for all, in fear that I will lose the value as credit that I have accumulated upon that word that I know I can use on the "Word market", and for desiring to hold on to my own word definitions and their market value, I forgive myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create within each of my personality some money managing traits that I could use to gain an advantage on others because I could, once the shame would hit home, switch into another one of my personalities and keep myself Character Hopping to not catch up with the shame of not standing for a world that was best for all but only seeking what was best for me and for this, I forgive myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire that the Money System would change Out There, because to Change the Money System within I would have to let go all my definitions and word-credits that I have accumulated in a lifetime of playing the Money game, and for fearing to let go and experiencing a sense of loss due to my own investment that did not bring home the promised results as self-interests, I forgive myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I leave behind what I know and who I have been and my ability to make money no matter what, that I would be in fact jumping into nothingness, because the system we are redesigning is not ready yet to catch us all in a supportive net that can guarantee a life of dignity for all, and for wanting a sure reward before I move for a system that is best for all just because I have accepted and allowed myself to embrace life as a system of rewards and punishments, I forgive myself

I commit myself to stand for a system that works for all and to keep walking to stop my separation between the money system outside and the money system as Who I am, so as I stand One and equal to it, I can direct it as myself for what is best for me as best for all, for myself and All of Existence, Equal and One.

Related articles

• Day 90: Projecting outward The inward Path
• Day 300: The Encryption of Systems (Part One)
• Day 180: The Word 'Capitalism' in 'Equal Money Capitalism'
• Day 193: Is Equal Money Capitalism Doomed to Fail?
• Day 186: The Invisible Hand is Invisible because it Doesn't Exist - Equal Money Capitalism and Providing Results that are Best for All
• Day 261: You Can't understand Equal Money? You are So Predictable
• Day 245 Sexualized Sexual Eyes

Day 195: The Evil in Childhood

First I want to redefine the word Evil for myself as it has much negative/bad/dark/ EVIL lol charge that approaching this subject still makes me cringe at some level, nothing in comparison to prior my meeting with Desteni, when I would have shivers at the mention of Evil or Demons, but there is still a sense of uneasiness in walking this topic, even more if the topic is Evil in Childhood= Anathema.

In fact what is Evil if not Live backward? The point that we have never been One and Equal to Life, living the Oneness and Equality of who we could have been, giving to each other what we would have liked to receive, but no, we had to become winners on a planet of Losers, we had to be more than another in fear of being less, we had to find meaning in our Being-ness instead of just Being here expressing ourselves in real Freedom with One another, sharing this planet and a Dignified Life in which we would be real support for one another, real Human Beings instead of backstabbing evil demons, hence we lived, existed and did it all backward.

I never believed in the innocence of children, I had my reasons, I don't recall myself as innocent ever, my memories start with deception and manipulation and a sense of being lost in a place no one seemed to know much about including the WHY we are Here and what we are supposed to do. Stretching the story of 'living; into something 'beautiful' is just that, a huge stretch of the imagination, my childhood years from when I can remember where made of anxiety, a feeling of being out of place, not belonging and a huge fear that this place wasn't even a bit safe, and the sense of not being safe started with my family, I didn't trust them one bit.

When my girlfriends started to have children, I never changed my mind, I had a lot of guilt too due to believing that I was able to see right through children and not being able to buy into the crap of their 'good intentions and good hearts', we are not born with good intentions, we are on a survival trip, no matter the stories we tell each other about our goodness or other's goodness they are all hard to believe if we really want to see the truth in all our current interactions, if we miss them, there is a whole World showcase to catch up, the World as a Mirror of Ourselves.

In this I always saw myself at an advantage, I just did not Really believe in Goodness, pretended to, made efforts to, wanted to, but from my experience if you dug deep enough the underlining bullshit would come up in everyone, priests, teachers, nuns, 'la creme de la creme' was still the 'same old same old' bullshitting in sheep's clothes.

This started in childhood, a memory comes up of a time in which I spoke with a baby's voice to charm my step-grandmother, she did not like me, not openly because she was still a Step away from the main Blood family, but when we were alone she was nasty and she would tell me I was a liar and not good, I feared that she saw the bullshitter in me and around her I suppressed much until I found a Character she enjoyed, the subservient one. My mum was another point of self doubt in my life, some of the things she said about me and my clever manipulations were just too embarrassing to hear, some were true and some were not, but even the ones that were not I started to believe they must be true, that maybe those were my 'ulterior motifs' this just lead me to improve my bullshitter skills, to find ways to promote my Characters better, adjust them, fine tune them, until I found the right mix that could keep most of them happy and myself out of trouble.

Interestingly this movement within me had an unexpected side effect: since everyone seemed out 'to expose me and my evil ways' I first started to believe that they were better than me, they must be better or how would they dare calling a spade a spade -was I a Spade-, they must Not be a Spade for such Dare. So a Character was created as 'I am the Worst, everyone is better as in More Good than me'. So through my life I pushed to trust people based on this belief, much of my discoveries did not match this assumption, but I insisted, there was a consolation in the belief that if I am No Good, maybe someone out there is, there better be someone good out there, I am sure there is and I'll find them out and join them.

This Character would thrive on making up excuses for others, hoping they would in return excuse me, justify me for who I was and had accepted and allowed myself to become.

But it never applied to Children, it's like I froze my awareness about the Evil of this world into Childhood and could never move past it and then I went on seeking the good in Adults, fat chance, yet the resistance to see the Evil in everyone is still occasionally there, meaning I see it and then pretend not to, hope they won't see mine either, so we can keep playing the Hide and Seek of this Evil existence into oblivion.




I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from myself as a kid believing I was not Good Enough

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe as a kid that I was bad and evil and one of a kind instead of realizing I was in the process of aligning to this world and the examples I saw around me and what I understood it was required of me to survive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to loathe myself as a kid for giving up on myself and for then projecting this perceived hatred that I believed to be me on other kids because I could not buy their bullshit for a second, just because I had become too devious to be able to buy mine


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base the definition of myself on how others said 'they saw me for my true colours' even when my colors where still in the process of becoming clear to myself or others, taking personally what others exposed about themselves as something about me until I believed that everything they said about me must be true because they were the adults in the equation and they were the ones who knew better

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilt because I could clearly see the darkness and evilness of children since I was exposed to my own at a very early age, instead of seeing and realizing I had bought into the same projection game and was now doing to children what was done to me as a child

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I was really bad and evil for seeing reality for what it was, until I stopped and tried my best to align with Not seeing reality for what it is so I could have some peace of Mind and stop asking myself questions that no one had answers to

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty and believe that guilt to be who I am, when my girlfriends had kids and I could not see those kids as pure and innocent through the eyes of their mothers/my girlfriends no matter how much I wanted it, and for suppressing what I believed I saw because it was inappropriate, because at some level I was aware that what I saw was about me as my stored self judgements and condemnations and no one else

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a Storyteller Character because reality was not good enough, not funny enough, not entertaining enough to guarantee I could access the approval of others and as such I had to spice it up, until I would con-fuse myself into alternate reality making myself unable to distinguish what really happened after I changed the stories I told so many times to fit the audience I was telling them to and for creating alternate realities for myself as a kid through storytelling reality I forgive myself



I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to betray myself by abdicating who I am to the Mind to live the Life that was designed for me and not the Life I could have been as Breath Here in and as the Physical

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be jealous and envious of other kids who seemed to have a 'better life', 'better parents', comparing myself with my family and thinking I could not possibly belong there, what was I doing with 'those people' and why was I supposed to love them when in fact most of the time I just plainly feared them and then felt guilty for fearing my own family which added to the belief that I was evil and bad

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be merciless toward the kid I have been, wanting to disown myself as I perceived and then believed I was dishonorable by the age of 10 and that was not the road to the kind of human being I wanted to become as a 'good human being' and yet the road seemed set before me and I could just walk it because I believed 'this is Who I am' and for this I forgive myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my mercilessness of myself onto other kids, because I wanted them to be exposed as I was exposed for the little liars and manipulators that they are, as I was, instead of seeing and realizing how is it that we are creating this monstrosity we call Humanity spoiling kids for life along the way and how can we stop and change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek solace in the belief that there must be something good in this Creation, just so I would pile up one disappointment after another until I faced the point that there isn't, pushing to get to the worst inside everyone, hoping to not find it, feeling guilty all the way and ending up believing that had it not been for me, they would have been fine, good people, instead of seeing and realizing I sought the evil in others as my justification for the evil in me, instead of facing my own Evil once and for all and release myself from it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my family because I believed THEY were the ones who took the worst out of me to start with, which was the point that I believed caused envy and jealousy for other kids who seemed to have better lives and less shit to deal with, instead of seeing and realizing I just wished for another life and not the one I had walked into through my acceptance and allowance

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire that other kids would be punished for 'who they were' because I believed I was punished for who I was until I complied to the "Be Nice commands" and aligned with the Sugar Coating as Humanity that is required to live in this world but I for one would not be the one pretending Kids are fine and innocent and secretly suppressed the desire to see them all punished so I could feel better about myself as they too would be exposed and pointed at as unfit for this world and I would not have to feel so bad about myself as the memory of the suppressed kid that I have hang on to

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imprint myself with pictures of my childhood that would justify the Characters I then set out to design and create for myself, I now release myself from those pictures as thoughts to no longer allow myself to be triggered into behaviors that I then justify with 'the kind of life I had/believed I had/ made up in my own mind'

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to Not realize that what some of my Family saw in me and condemned was what was hidden within them and they condemned about themselves as I was the product of my Family first and then my environment and all the following brainwashing of an insane society that can only produce insane human beings, and that this was the root of my dislike for children, as I saw in them as children what I had not liked and condemned about myself as a child and then wanted, wished to have them called out for it and exposed in spitefulness as I had been called out and exposed


I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that my grandparents who instead praised me and only saw 'the good' in me, were just lying to cover up their own evil as the separation we all share that brought us here and that created a world that is backward, upside down, where nothing works but we pretend it does, so we can pretend we are fine too and keep this creation where nothing is what it seems going for the future generations, instead of stopping it once and for all to come to terms with the fact that there is nothing worth saving in what we created as ourselves as The Mind in separation from one another and we need to make a U turn to realign to Oneness and Equality and a Life that is truly best for All.

Related articles

• Day 194: You can always find the Evil behind the Good..& not viceversa
• Facing the Evil within - the KEY to Self Awareness - Day 188
• Comparison is a Bitch - Day 212
• Jealousy and Frustration - I want the Life they Have - Day 216
• Day 10 - Kids React - Pt.1
• 195. The Righteousness of Evil
• Day 109 - Hello From The Summit of Mount Stupid!
• mIrror, mIrror of the mInd...: DAY 216
• 196. The Elitist Evil behind Relationships

Day 49: Earthquake Update - Choosing Suffering as The Ultimate Teacher ?

We had 2 earthquakes of magnitude 5.8 in the past 2 weeks, the main building taken down seem to be Churches, up to 5, all of them, in one small village in the Emilia Romagna region.

Never before we have had a Church-less village in Italy.

Churches, whatever the propaganda says, are NOT uniting people, they are a symbol of separation and of an abdication of responsibility to a God that is either amnesic about  His creation or he plainly does not exist and has become the embodiment of our desire to not stand as Self responsible Human Beings for Life, One and Equal.

Funny but since churches have been taken down by the earthquake and more than 7000 people found themselves in tents, having to rely on sharing confined spaces, limited food and comfort, we started to get along better.

Yesterday on TV they showed Arabs, Blacks, Asians and Italians all sitting and eating as brothers and sisters at the special tent canteen that has been set up by the Civil protection, not one ounce of tension was flying, the earthquake has shaken down the worthless, leaving the Worth, Life, One and Equal intoand as all of Us.

When we have a chance to share a confined space and  see first hand that we are Equals, as in we all need to eat, drink water, wash ourselves, have a shelter, a lot of the bullshit we use as a weapon against each other is just no longer there, no money, no things to buy and flaunt, no private toilets to care for our 'Image', no churches where we can go to worship the Only God, the Biggest and More Powerful One, separating ourselves into our own Minds against The Children of Lesser Gods, we become, Equal in Need.

So, is this the way we have to go to understand Equality, through suffering ?

What is it with Humanity and Suffering ?

Why do we hold the Belief that we can only learn through Suffering ?

Why isn't Common Sense enough to see that if we all share One Planet and we just have to recognize each other Equal Right to be Here as Life, if we did, in One Breath, we could stop all the suffering and stand together as One Life, supporting each other, bringing Heaven to Earth for everybody.

Are all our Mind conflicts really worth the separation that will lead to more suffering, to more loss of lives so that we can insist on our right to self interest and greed and the right to the Free Choice to Damn and Condemn ourselves to Hell on Earth.

"When we say the Physical is the Way to Life, we mean that the physical will force us to become self aware, force us to understand creation, force us to stand up for what is best for all life, force us to love our neighbors, force us to truly become custodians of life in very way. The physical will not save us, it will serve hell till we become Life." Bernard Poolman

If suffering is what we are voting for, let's get on with it, let's suffer and struggle, let's get shaken by the Earth back to our Common Sense, where we seem unwilling to go on our own, forgetting that we only had One Choice from the Start, Life Equal and One for All, or Death and Destruction, what shall it be ? Our choice.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that we can learn from 'Suffering'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that we never learn from Joy but from suffering, making suffering the Teacher of Humanity

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to value suffering, because I suffered and tried to make sense of it by stating that real Lessons come from Suffering

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to embrace the model of Suffering of the Catholics, that stated there is Value in Suffering as Saints and Martyrs who now live in heaven prove to us

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make Saints and Martyrs and the ones who suffered physically through tortures and physical pain for an 'Idea'l more than me, because I was not willing to suffer for 'something' Higher than me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that suffering is 'The Only Way We Seem to Learn' and for saying this out loud

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear suffering failing to realize that what I fear manifests for myself and existence, One and Equal

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to the suffering of others because I fear my own suffering

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I hated the catholics and their teachings of suffering for Humanity, while they kept the good Lives for themselves, instead of realizing I hated myself for my own acceptance and allowance of suffering as a Teacher and my own suffering in and as The Mind

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hate myself for suffering and for believing this hate to be real and who I really am

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish suffering on others when angry as a way to learn their lesson, like Karma, instead of seeing everything I wish done onto others I do onto myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to never see that we suffer as a choice of having embraced suffering as The Ultimate Teacher and having placed suffering above ourselves as a mean to learn, instead of seeing suffering is just plain Mean and I can stop the abuse and suffering of myself and others by stepping out of me as The Mind into the Physical as Life One and Equal

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look back at my life and state 'yes I have learnt from my suffering' as a way to make sense and validate suffering for myself and others, Equal and One

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify the suffering of humanity and myself as 'lessons' we have to learn instead of seeing there was enough suffering in this world for us to be all well learnt and beyond and that suffering was our own creation through our own acceptances and allowances of suffering as a viable option for learning

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that there was something wrong in this creation if our lives had to be filled with so much suffering and for not realizing/seeing that Ourselves and our acceptances and allowances were the something 'wrong' with this creation and that it was time to STOP what we were no longer willing to live

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that some deserve to suffer, due to my judgements of what they did to others, instead of seeing I was stating "I deserve to suffer for what I believe I have done to others'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse myself and my physical body through the suffering of the friction of me as The Mind, accepting and allowing my own existence of suffering while I was not willing to let go of my own self inflicted suffering of and as the Mind, while I resisted letting go my life of self interest to return Here in Breath realigned to Oneness and Equality

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse myself and to make myself suffer, for-getting that what I do to myself I do to existence, Equal and One, instead of stopping and standing in and as The Change I want to see in this world

‎

When and as I see myself supporting or about to support any form of suffering of myself and others for 'a higher purpose', I stop, breathe, look at which specific higher purpose I am deluding myself with and release it through self forgiveness and self corrective application

When and as I see myself valuing suffering as 'the only way we seem to learn' I stop, breathe, remind myself that I have to investigate all patterns of suffering of myself and others, reflecting back to me my accepted and allowed acceptances of suffering as value so I may eradicate suffering as value from my own life and the world, Equal and One, to bring about a World that is Best for All

I commit myself to stop all the suffering in and as me and all my acceptances and allowances of suffering,  to stop the suffering in the world as a mirror, Equal and One