Day 342: Justifications and Excuses - Mind, The Gap.

Today during a chat a point of how we are responsible for the poor development of children came up. 

Oftentimes when those points come up I go first through a moment of overwhelment as I see that if I look at the problem for real I will feel  disheartened because there are so many kids and so few of us becoming aware that a change is required -from the roots up.

My automatic response to 'potential overwhelment' is to look for a reason why we are not so responsible after all, this one is quite an easy one for me, I don't even have children or plan to have them, so I can take a step back and not participate in the responsibility because, really, responsible I am not.

And yet, this point shows where our problems as the world and world system lies, it's within our missed response-ability, partly because we have loaded this word with so much negativity and connected it to blame, possibly to make sure we would not want to get close to it, who likes to be blamed?

So here goes the response-ability off the window, in a few simple step

I am responsible - guilt - shame- blame

Fuck - I am not - perception of release from the grips of the feelings which are self contained in the word that we never cared to redefine.

Actively looking for why I am not responsible - world is bigger than me - in the specific too many children, too little time, I have not participated, it wasn't me, I was a child too that got screwed up, I wasn't even there forgodssake!

And this is how we miss The Change to in fact empower ourselves with Response-Ability, with the simple basic common sense point of Developing The Ability to see what's wrong, get over the feelings which exist as an energy accumulation of excuses and justification, which we THOUGHT could save us from the big burden of self responsibility acting like the hot stove, interestingly we are the ones that accepted and allowed this word to exist in such confinement,  and when the feelings are activated moving away from a point that needs to be addressed seems like the most rational thing - it feels bad, isn't that ENOUGH?

So today I saw how we in fact abdicated our Ability to Respond, our Ability to assess the World for what it has become, stopping to blame others, whoever they are, religious leaders, political leaders, family, whateverwecanfind and return to ourselves this Authority to overcome our perceived limitations.

There is nothing BAD about having fucked up this world to this point, nothing BAD as we have intended so far, it is though quite a display of consequential outflows that we are living, as we moved through existence like demented zombies believing in the Free Choice of Free Markets and Capitalism, BeLieving just because if we could push the Beliefs far enough we would not have to be responsible, it's the world systems doing something to us, look, it's those on top, what am I supposed to do? 

And yet this is how by our own admission we become powerless, we rather find excuses and justifications about why it was not 'me' part of this mess -and yet here I am- instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I can't have my cake and eat it, that is only the Capitalist promise, in Real Physical Life I either become Response-Able or I am Not and there will never be a middle way, we can't be partially response-able, or minorly response-able, because for each one point for which we are not willing to be Response-Able, we are stating that we can't, we won't, we'll never manage and then we have to live out our own script, we created through the Mind, as The Mind, the Gap that stands between problems and Solutions, we authorized ourselves to give up our Response-Ability in exchange for the freedom from negative feelings - what a trade off...

What about clearing up our words, so we won't trigger ourselves into our 'automatic giving up response', and keep standing, until we learn that Each Problem has a solution, because I am the problem, I was the problem and as I Self Correct and take My Self Response-Ability so does the World in and as Me.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to imprint the word responsibility with a negative charge, accepting and allowing myself to bring up a string of emotions to confirm that responsibility is a thing to avoid, to refrain from, so that I may not have to experience guilt/shame/blame instead of seeing realizing and understanding that I am the Creator of the Content of the Words I live and that I can purify the Words I live until I stand One and Equal to them so that I may live Self Response -Ability in and as Me

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fail to notice that guilt/shame and blame where my Mind Fail Safe, so that I would not tamper with Self Responsibility and embody a point of Response Ability within the world where I stand and no longer accept Inequality and Abuse as The WayTthings Are

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel guilt/shame and blame in connection with the word responsibility because I feared being responsible for the way this world is and for failing to see realize and understand that when I resist a point of Self Responsibility, I am actually abdicating my Self Response Ability to the whole as me -and this is not acceptable

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I feared taking responsibility for the world as me, when in fact I wished to not take responsibility because living an automated life is easier and it doesn't challenge me and there is always an excuse I can find to prove that I am NoT responsible instead of seeing realizing and understanding that Any excuse or justification means I cannot be Response-Able about anything, because Self Response-Ability is an accumulation of stepping through my limitations about things I believed I could not change, starting with myself, until I prove to myself that I can Change and that as I can change myself I can change the World in and as Me, as part of a Group that stands United, unmovable, no longer accepting anything less than what we could be as Self Response Able Humans creating a Self Response Able World for Ourselves and All of Existence Equal and One

I commit myself to stand as a Point of Self Response Ability and to refuse to engage any excuse that I offer myself as The Mind to why I can cut myself some slack, because there is plenty of slacking in the world and it is by embracing our slacking that we ended up where we are and so I commit myself to flag for myself points where I do seek for a 'feeling better' interpretation of reality that lets me off the hook of my Self response- ability, to correct myself, bring that Response Ability back to myself and write about any System that is misaligned to offer a prospective on how an Alignment Can Be Made, to serve What is Best for All and Create a World where All Life is Honoured and we can live in Harmony forever more.

Related articles

• Day 204: Powerlessness as Abdication of Responsibility
• Day 318: Are you BIG Enough for B.I.G. ?
• Living paycheck to paycheck

Day 338: The Birth of Liberal Empire and the Commonwealth

(Day 337 -walked privately)

As a new Heir is born into the Royal Family to ensure the continuation of Monarchy, I became curious at how our acceptance of Monarchy developed to where we are today.

It's hard to believe that no matter how many more educated or intelligent people there are in the world, we still accept a symbol of Absolute Inequality such as the Monarchy as valid, an institution which up-lifted itself above any Common Man, just by virtue of their Bloodline, a point that could be viewed both as a genetic/DNA claim or as the trail of blood they left behind to manage to secure their power over the rest of the Commoners.

Everyone who has studied history with some interests can trace back all 'bloodlines' to acts of savage violence, nothing was spared to make sure enough fear was driven into those that should accept their role as servants, as commoners and then, with time, the bloodlines tried to clean up their image, they became more 'user friendly', allowing the people to believe they had a share in their wealth, benefiting in the image and likeness of Royalty, up to believing that the Royal wealth was the Common Wealth, a spell that worked so effectively that some asked to be their subjects, and many are still glad to be Subject-ed to the Magic of Royal bedtime stories, this specifically in the case of the British Empire.

As I studied history I found this 'protective political behavior' traced back all the way to the Roman Empire and the Chinese Empire, at the height of their rule, interestingly the time when countries asked to be part of their Protectorates, were always times when the Empires were at the top of their game and able to crush anyone who would try and go against them, hence Protectorates or 'Willing Enslavement Contracts' would be drafted between Empires and the countries who had been driven successfully to such a point of fear, that left them no choice but to ask for a protection they were willing to pay for.

Protectorates were in fact exactly the same as the Mafia models that came later, Mafia asked for a 'Protection Fee', funny because when we speak about the Mafia we always want to depict them as those that began the trend of abuse of their 'protection power' which could be translated in ' a fee to make sure you would not be conquered and destroyed', so the question should rise -if we found the Mafia behavior appalling just because it had become illegal, once those that used it had secured their thrones around the world and they made sure to write Laws to prevent the people from doing to them what they had done onto others-, was it Ok for Empires just because they managed to rewrite Their-Story, His-Story  as they pleased and as they wanted to be remembered?

Is our Education system been tampered with to tell us only about mutually profitable alliances between friendly states where the de facto subjugated state (or people) did so by their spontaneous and willing participation and in fact by their own desire and request? How was this ever believable?

So, for what concerns the British Empire, from tomorrow I will start researching its origins and how it spread, how it spread the idea and belief that Wealth could become Common, and how the Words that are used within the system are nothing but promptings for the sheeple to respond in kind, kindly, while they are beaten down and asked to surrender all their power to no longer be Unique Expressions of Life, Living Words that exist in and as What Is Best For All Life, but Commons, commonly abused over centuries and kept happy within the promise of a CommonWealth, that never in fact, came.

Royalty will end, it's time, start to walk your journey to Equality with a Living Income Guaranteed.

Related articles

• The Argument Against Royal Families
• Day 214: Empire or Mafia? Take the Cannoli !
• Day 315: How many Human Rights Can You Afford?
• Day 319: Poverty Lines, how would you like Yours?
• Day 459: BIG Pilot Project Namibia: a Perspective
• Day 447: Good Deeds as Deception
• Day 410: This Baby will Fix the World

Day 285: Anger Galore

Odd day.

It started with a phone call that made me angry, the usual lady that makes it her reason to live to try and slip her responsibility for her health on me and everyone else while we are not watching.

In the afternoon my mother, who got annoyed because I told her she was welcome to come and visit but I missed the point of "Easter' and why we had to do something special for it -when we never did. Then she said 'I thought you may be going somewhere' and I said 'how? I'm broke, where can I go?' and then she got angry because I mentioned Money when she now believe I have more than her, meaning I should accept my sacrifices happily and not mention them, because WE ALL HAVE TO MAKE THEM, It's Life.

Then I went to pick up the cable of my printer from a guy that pretended to fix it for 25 euro and turned it into a copier that no longer wants to behave like a printer.

And finally my teenager student came and she had to be dragged for 1.5 hours through her English homeworks while we negotiated every single step 'read aloud' 'I will if you don't make me do exercise 5 and 6" a point we had to negtiate because her school teacher 't forgot to ask them to complete the exercise page, we agreed she could complain about them but would have to do them anyway - she resorted to read half a page like an imbecile - just to spite me.

When she left I was tired.

I watched a day of anger go by and participated in all of the above instances a little more every time as they accumulated, I had to tie myself to the chair to not smack the book on the head of my student, that's how fare I allowed myself to accumulate in a day alone.


There was another event in the middle, I read a post on a site that does nothing but Gossip about what we do, I wrote 5 answers to it and deleted them all because I was aware I was reacting and pretending not to.


So, what can I deduce? I cannot participate in anger at all, it doesn't mater that I do not display it or engage in it outwardly, the inward movement is enough, it's plenty in fact to pile up an energetic trail to a gun powder deposit, I should know this, have had memorable anger outbursts in my life and they all started seemingly innocently, and specifically, they were never my fault :)



I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to get angry at A. for trying to do what she does all the time, failing to see it was not a personal movement she had against me, but simply an impersonation of one of her main characters that I took personally and to which I reacted in anger

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that anger is real and who I really am

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to react in anger when reading the troll website commenting on what happened on Quora and for engaging my anger into writing replies meant to knock some sense into his/her head, when in fact this was an excuse to vent my anger instead of stopping myself from reacting as a self directive principle


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to, when I went to pick up my cable to give in to the irritation for not having been given back the original cable as I anticipated that my printer would not work - which it didn't, and within this for moving into disappointment as suppressed anger I did not want to look at, instead of stopping myself, breathing and bringing myself back here in and as breath, back from a day lost in emotional reactions

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to, when I spoke to my mother and I could feel the irritation mounting up regarding Easter as a point of nonsense to reply in Character instead of hearing what she was saying beyond the Easter point, which was to come down and visit and spend some time together, and to justify why I did not want to hear I told her why was she asking 'where was I going for Easter' as she knew I had nowhere else to go, playing the victimization point which I did because I was not here or I could have seen how stepping into that character would have played out to her, being the one who has halved her income to support me and within this, for looking for a reason why I had a right to be angry, such as the point of her underlining that we are all making sacrifices, to look at that point like it was her fault, that I inherited an acceptance of life as sacrifice, which is nothing else but another shift of responsibility, blaming her for the beliefs I have accepted and allowed instead of standing to no longer accept and allow Life as sacrifice for no one, not her, not myself and not anyone else, which is why I stand as One vote for an Equal Money System for All

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to, when I now feel angry, to compare how much more I used to give in to anger as a way to compliment myself that I am not that bad after all, as to say 'look, I have changed so much' failing to see that I use comparison to my worse self as a justification to why I don't have to stop and why I can't stop because My past of Anger is quite populated with outrageous acts of possession, instead of not using comparison as a justification to why it's OK for me to participate in an energetic reaction, no matter how small it seems as I forget that energy accumulates into those possessions that never came by chance but through my participation in anger one step at the time

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to, when my student arrived and I saw she was moody, to start going into a resistance to her behavior until we went into conflict and instead of stopping myself with breath, try to harm-wrestle my position of power as a teacher and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that in a situation of conflict one should always win and that should be me, instead of breathing myself back into stability from where I could look for a solution that is best for all

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to, when I move into anger, look for reasons why my anger is justified, to look for why I could later claim that 'I didn't start it' when in fact the day ended proving that I do exactly what A. tries to do with me, try to shift on others the responsibility of my behaviour instead of taking responsibility for my participation in anger, no matter how good an excuse I can find to motivate why I am in fact entitled to it.



When and as I see myself approached by people that I interpret and define as moody, angry, irritating, annoying, I stop, breathe, see, realize and understand I am looking and them through the filters of some Characters and not as myself as Life beyond judgements born out of memories and opinions and I support myself to breathe to bring myself back to stability until I can see in self honesty I am no longer participating in anger in any way shape or form

When and as I see myself looking into my anger archive to find other 'worse moments of anger' in my files to prove to myself that I am entitled to this 'little movement of anger by comparison', I stop, breathe, do not allow myself to compare my energetic participation of the moment with my previous participation as an excuse and breathe to stop my participation in anger beyond any good reason I have found up to then that proves I am entitled to it

When and as I see myself moving to play back in my mind the 'anger incident' looking for how I can explain why I was entitled to get angry and how I was not 'the one starting it', I stop, breathe and do not allow myself to participate no matter what I have told myself about 'who started and who carries the fault therefore'

When and as I see myself trying to blame another for my anger, I stop, breathe and do not allow myself to shift the blame or attempt to shift the blame on another



I commit myself to consistently stop my participation in anger and my belief that anger is real and one and equal to me and who I really am and to catch myself in the slightest beginning stages of my participation in energetic reactions to learn to effectively stop myself for good, for myself and all of existence, Equal and One.

Related articles

• 128 - Part 7 - Forgiveness for being a Reactive Robot
• Day 341: Without a Care in the World
• Day 220 - Me as Anger/Resentment/Resistance in Relationship

Day 284: Education - The Second Best Tool for Mind Control

This week I have faced people asking me and my friends about our Education on a Social network.

The question did not come in the form of a curiosity or an exchange like 'hei dude, where did you go to school?', no, the question was for the purpose of proving we have no right to talk about a world change, because we did not take the allegedly prescribed "World Change" course and have therefore no qualifications to address the point that we have realized that there is a systemic problem across all facets of our society, and since we are the System, it must be up to us to stand as The Solution to this problem.

Of course what is implied in such questions is that we are not 'intelligent' enough to even notice that there is a problem, because it is only through education that one has 'broadened' up enough to see a problem.

I don't see it this way, education is like filling up a hard disk and everyone knows that once a hard disk fills up, processing time slows down, not only, but the education received implies that what we look at must be decoded through that set of ideas and opinions, which could explain why for example most Economist know diddly squat about how Money is created, we went past the Tooth Fairy idea about the Money System and how we must become willing to sell everything, including body parts, for that most valuable return, just to embrace other no less outlandish economics believes: market "forces" (Jedi talk), free market economy (for those who have the freedom of a Capital), public debt (collective delusion) and then the most rationale of solutions -austerity, for the already poor.

What can we say about where we got with all our high and mighty beliefs in De-Value of Education?

That we are highly and mightily dumb? Yes, that would be a fit description of us Humans.

People of 'high' education who read 1984 and failed to notice we are living it, have nothing to brag about.

I saw another point as I looked at Education today, it's like the second best thing you can have for value in this world, the first is Money. I watched a documentary called 'Born Rich' made by one of the heirs of the Johnson and Johnson family, where some of his multi-billion dollar friends came across as 'not the cleverest cookies in the jar', we have some women who are in the spotlight just for having Money, the Hiltons, the Kardashians, I don't recall any of them lecturing about Physics or Economy but in their case, it is irrelevant. I don't recall either someone asking about their education, because Money was the guarantor that they indeed had a Value, a declared one, the Family Money they belonged to, their Worth was defined by that.

Incidentally some of the questions we were asked as a group contained both discriminants 'declare your education and/or your monetary value', this was the essence behind them.

Because in this world what we failed to see is that we are born worthless if not into Money and from there we have to build up our Worth/Value. Is it possible that those inquiring about our education were not born rich? I would say it is an almost sure thing, if they were they would not feel the need to show their second best Value/Worth credentials: Education.

But how can Education be a measure of Worth if not everyone has the same chances/choices to access it? Isn't then a discriminatory factor just the same as money, specifically when Education has been pursued to close that Value/Worth gap perceived by those who want to have 'Saber Diplomas fights' to see themselves come out as winner, as worthier, more valuable?

What is the purpose of an Education that didn't make it clear to us that we were born Unequal because the system is rotten to its core as it developed from our separation from ourselves as a Whole Indivisible Unit, instead of promoting Inequality by each and every mean possible to make sure we never get united and stand together for the common good?

I have asked a question on Quora about Galileo - relative to Education:

If Galileo had spoken with 'more educated' people would he have been able to convey the reasoning behind 'the Earth is round'? Would Education have been the key to a higher chance to be understood or not?

.1 ...."Rather, what Galileo got in trouble for was the idea that the earth moved around the sun rather than vice versa. And I doubt that more education would have helped because (i) much of what educated people thought they knew on the subject had been wrong and (ii) the case relied at many different points on recent, new observations many of which were contributed by Galileo himself. He was among the first to make and use telescopes in astronomy.  He went a long way to founding a new theory of mechanics. Etc, etc. To some extent the discoveries were ripe for the picking but to have gotten there first in so many areas is still huge."

.2 "The people Galileo spoke with were highly educated. Despite our stodgy caricatures of them, it took many of those cardinals who put him on trial years of theological study to get where they were.

The problem wasn't their education. It wasn't that they were dumb or bigoted. It was that they knew exactly what they were doing. His ideas threatened their simplistic theology, which threatened their political power.

For over a thousand years, "God did it" was the explanation for most phenomena. When someone looked up at the stars, and asked why they moved around, "God makes them" was the answer. Following from this sort of logic, that answer eventually grew into a system in which Earth was the center of the universe because it represented Man's special relationship to God - it means that God loved Man more than anything else.

You may laugh now, but that's what they thought. Volumes upon volumes were written in the Middle Ages expounding upon these sorts of theology-based theories. They basically just made it all up as they went along because it didn't require any real scientific effort, and it benefited them to have people thinking that they had all the answers because all the answers came from God, which they were experts on.

Also not well known is that most scientists agreed with Galileo at the time. Not that there were many of them to begin with, but the idea had been around since the Greeks, and the general feeling was that it was probably right, despite what the Church had to say. The Church was okay with this because no one had actually proved it, so they could keep getting away with saying the same things and maintaining their primacy in peoples' lives.

Once Galileo came along and did just that, they realized it challenged their power base. If people knew the Earth wasn't the center of the universe, what else would they think the Church was lying about?"

Another Education question I placed on Quora

If History is written by those who 'win', how can we be sure that the whole education curricula doesn't follow a specific purpose to give a certain view through which we will be forced to look at the world?

" Uhhh ... it *IS*.  If you want to learn history, the last place you will find it is in the history curricula of any school that you have ever attended.  Howard Zinn's "A people's History" is probably one of the first real history text books ever written.  Other history books like to focus on personalities like Hitler, Napoleon, etc.

Think about the US invasion of Iraq.  It was openly run and exposed as a pure vicious invasion of choice with no purpose whatsoever, except to give G.W.Bush a premise upon which to run a re-election campaign in his second term.  The truth of this matter will *never* be incorporated into any mainstream history book.  It will go down in history as some kind of liberation of Iraq that maybe was more messy than it should have been, or some sort of pablum nonsense like that.

Make no mistake, the part that Orwell got most correct in his book 1984, is the part where we rewrite history according to what is convenient to the propaganda  of people currently in power."

So, basically, here we are praising Education, that would be like in 1984 supporting Big Brother for all the wonderful opportunities given to us, meanwhile we miss out what is going to ourselves and the world. 

We ask 'what can we do about this system? What about changing it to one that would consider ALL as integral parts of it and honor all living beings just because they are Here, alive and breathing the same air we share. And someone asks 'how would you handle the microeconomics transactions -come on show us what you have got', is this a sign of common sense?

2.5 billions people don't have access to sanitation, close to 1 billion people starving every year, we are enslaved by a Fiat Money system where banks print Money and then go and lend it to Government for an hefty interest - and while we are screwed up-and-down by the system, we are being razzled dazzled by such questions of seemingly paramount importance vs how do we stop this monetary system and replace it with one that works for us and not against us?

But such is the power of Education, and as we got enslaved with it and heavily distracted from what's going on, we demand others to join in, we tell them 'I can't hear you because you don't have the System Seal of Approval (show me) that says you can talk to me about a solution, to a problem I can't even see - show me your credentials, show me your numbers - your slave numbers' then I will clear my mind to make space for what will certainly be the common knowledge we share, because you proved we belong to the same Club, and have been fed knowledge and information that, thanks god, doesn't rock the boat or in any way threatens the system we have come -through hardship and struggle- to embrace and surrender to.

So, solutions to the world we live in won't come from the system that has been set up by those who own it, that would seem pretty rational if one could give it a moment of reflection, we'll have to expand beyond the borders of the knowledge we have, hope that some who may not have been too infected by the Propaganda may come along to share what they could see as they were free-er than us to look into solutions that were never explored before, and hope, we may have the guts to stop ourselves from reacting to the perceived Mutiny we have been trained to stand against, just long enough to Hear.

Equal Money - Not Communism, Not Socialism, not a Solution considered before, like ever. 

Check it out. 

 

Related articles

• Day 203: Pupils Need to Instruct a Minister on How to do a Proper Job?
• Capitalism and Ignorance is Bliss - Day 315
• Day 117 - Self Honesty in Self Education
• Day 283: The Fear of leaving behind Knowledge and Information
• Day 185: Students feel fee squeeze
• 304. You Are What You Can Afford

Day 283: The Fear of leaving behind Knowledge and Information

I had a dream.

In the dream I was spending time with one of my friends and his son.

He asked me if I could help him with his English homework and I said yes, so he came close and showed me his book, but I was dozing off and in the dream I realized I could not follow him unless I woke up, so I tried to wake up but when I did, I realized I would wake up from the dream and then the book -and the boy!- would disappear and I would NOT be able to help him, so I spent some time in the dream trying to wake up enough but not too much to have the book disappear and finally I managed a sort of balance but I was uncomfortable because I knew I was dreaming and that what I was doing was worthless, I could have woken up completely and then yes, the book would have been gone, but the boy too so there would be no loss, no one was REALLY in need of my knowledge and information and this sense of the uselessness of it all, made me choose the dream vs the reality of being awake, not caring about the point that what I believed in the dream was worthy and valuable, was not even real.

Who will I be if I let go my knowledge and information?

Do I need to let go what I know or the value I have invested in it as who I am?

If I hold on to knowledge and information as value, am I not part of this world problem that values Education as a reason why not everyone has the same worth and value?

Why do I fear facing the point of how much value I have invested in knowledge and information, what is behind this value point that I fear to lose?



Ok, so definitely a fear of loss of a definition of myself as knowledgeable, this is again a money survival point, because I accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I had MORE knowledge and information then I was worth more in terms of my access to the Money world and I would have better chances at surviving.

So the point is a Value point in relation to my market worth, which as I wrote brought up another point of Value/Worth as being good looking but fearing that I would be exploited for that if I did not back it up with enough knowledge and information to not be taken for a ride, literally, so behind the knowledge and information point there is the acceptance that this is a man's world and I have to pile up credits as vantage points to be able to measure up, I see that this point is quite big because as I reach some of those points that have become who I am, I just want to write that this is a FACT, that this is a Man's world and I better not delude myself with some Pollyanna stories that resembles the positive thinking that I can THINK myself out of this one - so there is a fear that I can't let go this point because I need the extra value to compete with men for survival, when in fact the value I hold on to has become my very own limitation in stopping the ongoing competition with men in search for value I use to measure up to them - as in ability to turn Money and the fact that my value is now linked to knowledge and information which makes me feel vulnerable because I can always meet someone with more, just like with Money and then I will expose myself to the inferiority superiority game I have set up as I went and looked for points of superiority in fear of being inferior, accepting being inferior as a woman as a fact.



Of course this point rang true yesterday again when I watched Prof Wolff whose first talk I enjoyed so much, while the second one I watched brought up the value of education and left me feeling uneasy as I saw how he justified why some professors should earn more than others and I knew I could well follow the whole speech all the way to agreement because I hold on to this belief that education has worth and value without seeing that the worth and value education has is MY worth and value that I invested in it and that if I didn't -it would be worthless and just a tool to make myself efficient in the system, not adding or subtracting anything to who I am or to anyone else is -as Life.



I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to value education as knowledge and information above Life, mine and of everyone else


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear that without an education I would be worth-less and I would have to fear for my life and about how I was going to support myself in a world of men


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that this point is especially alive when I am around men, as I showed to myself in my dream, where there were 2 men less knowledgeable than me and then I didn't want to wake up from the dream because I enjoyed my position of superiority in my imaginary competition in my Mind, in which I always set out to prove, to men especially, that they don't know Jack, that they are stupid, and that their position on top of the world is deceivingly gained and ill granted, when in fact I am the one granting it by holding on to my fear of being less that drives me to show them I am more at every chance I get


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not trust in my ability to reach a point of Equality with men because they only want to fuck you so you better have an arsenal of ammo in the guise of knowledge and information to prevent yourself to be taken for a ride or to believe all the crap they come up with, when in fact I don't need anything but my self trust that I can handle any situation as an Equal when and as I am faced with men who I perceive cannot be trusted


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make men that cannot be trusted, which in my mind is pretty much all of them, the reason why I can't let go of my knowledge and information as value, without seeing realizing and understanding that they were just my excuse for hanging on to the value I have divested of myself into knowledge and information -and to hold on to my excuse I had to make men worse than they are in my mind, make the threat of their presence real so that I would be justified in WHY I must hold on to that extra value, because I really really need it, instead of seeing realizing and understanding it is not about who they are around me but who I am around them that sets the terms of engagement, and that the only correction I need to work on is on me and that requires for me to take back all the value I have invested in something outside of my Self that I made more than me as Life as Breath

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that it was me that set the rule of the game with men every single time and that as I set out exploiting my good looks as a vantage point I then had to back them up with knowledge and information so I could pretend that I was not in fact playing the Beauty game and that it was all in their Mind because look, I am knowledgeable and informed and the fact that you want to fuck me is Your Fault, when in fact I used knowledge and information as the smoke screen to keep playing the seduction game without paying the price of the unspoken promises that I put on the table at every deal, because I could

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to blame men and make them dangerous regarding how they responded to me and my seduction games through knowledge and information, building up case after case against them to prove it was their fault that they saw SEX everywhere I placed it and then magically deleted it through the use of knowledge and information to just leave them confused and wonder if they had imagined it all or if I had hinted that something may take place sometime if they would give me what I wanted, which was access to the same world they had access to, the men's world, and for accepting and allowing myself to diminish myself by accepting that this world was not made for me but for them only to then live to fight my own acceptance and allowance, I forgive myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that with knowledge and information I could aspire to more, be more, move more swiftly into the system as 'increased value' leaving behind those with less value as knowledge and information without ever considering that I should have looked for solutions on how we could equalize our value and make everyone equally valuable and worthy once and for all

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to, when I realized that good looks as a genetic advantage could take me far, fear that I would be judged for the good looks alone and be made less, be talked about, be diminished as someone who only had That to offer and as such, pile up knowledge and information as my excuse to why I was rising up in the world when in fact it was just the way I looked that took me places and for living the guilt for looking good as an undeserved point of advantage that I had to match with a point I perceived I deserved for real such as knowledge and information, I forgive myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that I feared losing the good looks advantage so much that I stockpiled on another advantage such as knowledge and information, because I wanted to be advantaged one way or another not seeing realizing and understanding that through valuing external points above my Self I was in fact diminishing myself at every turn in the hope to gain more value for myself, a long lasting value that I could hold on to, either through looks or knowledge and information because I was for sure not willing to go down the scale of value to the point of having to accept any and every job to make a living, and for not considering the point of no choice of many others either in terms of looks or knowledge and information to give themselves the same access to resources as a Right to Live, I forgive myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that as I hold on to my value as knowledge and information, the world has the same right to hold on to this point as the reason why some are more worthy than others and for my participation in devaluing some so I could be more, so I could stop the fear of being in their place I forgive myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that those with a higher education have more right to Life than those with a lower education, because as I could not believe that those with better looks had that right as that was a 'chance' point, education seemed 'earned' to me and as such the right to More was 'earned' too and unquestionable, when in fact the point that not all have access to the same possibilities for knowledge and information invalidates this point for all, and as such I forgive myself for having been part of the supporting team of value of knowledge and education vs Life, One and Equal for All, with the same Rights, choices and access to benefits that would create a world into a heavenly place for All vs a heavenly place for me alone.

When and as I see myself facing a man and move or about to move into my All Knowing Character, I stop, breathe, do not participate in the fear of being less or the desire to prove something and bring myself back Here through breathing until I am stable

When and as I see myself experiencing or about to experience a full blown point of loss just because I did not participate in showing off my knowledge as a 'missed chance' to gain value for myself, I stop, breathe, remind myself that as I seek value outside of myself I am accepting my worthlessness as who I am and not my Equality with everything that exists from the lowest to the highest point of existence and see realize and understand that I can only be All or nothing and that I have to be no one to be able to be All of Us, willing to delete myself to stand as a point of no desire and no fear and to reach that point I have to consistently Not allow myself to participate in polarity games, no matter how tempting as value-adding they may seem

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to believe that my Value lies in my knowledge and information or in my looks or in anything that I can find that is separate from me as Self and to identify where I still hold on to points of external Value to bring it All back to Self as Life as One and Equal, to stop this game of polarity and superiority and inferiority, for myself and All of existence, Equal and One

Related articles

• Day 117 - Self Honesty in Self Education
• Day 279: I Can't Hear You because I insist on Being Me
• Day 142: What is the big idea behind success?
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Day 253: Miss-Education of Humanity - Separated by Words

Last night we had the teachers meeting of the school/non school (not funded or recognized by the Government) where we teach Italians to foreigners, in the specific Immigrants.

This just to say they are not tourists, they are people who came to live in Italy due to necessity, seeking a better Life, in fact in most cases, just seeking a life, as their country was unable to provide one for them -not that we are doing any better.

There were about 20 volunteers present and the questions raised were very practical

• why the number of students has dropped dramatically since the beginning of the year?
• how can we assess their ability to move to the next class?
• how do we assess in which class they belong when they arrive?
• should we have a textbook?

The questions were very easy for me because I had previous experience in teaching Italian to foreigners, I assumed that it would be enough the 1 and a half hour we set out to come to an agreement about all the main points, this was until the discussion started.

The first point was dismissed, no one wanted to look at why there has been a drop from the beginning of the school year that ranges in the 60 to 70%, meaning we have only 40 to 30% students left, looking at this point would mean admit to failure of epic proportion in delivering what the students expected, which was to learn Italian, so we just skipped this question altogether. The point is as well that addressing this question would mean we have to change something because the school is not working as it should and here comes another sticky point, changing without a motivation since everyone is 'volunteering' their time without a monetary compensation it's hard work.

This point of not being rewarded means everyone secretly believes to be entitled to teach what THEY enjoy, so we have turned the school into a Teachers playground, we want to have fun and that demands that we can't subscribe to a program that we commonly share because teaching pronouns is Not Fun, and teaching reading and writing skills is Not Fun and we rather say things like 'they don't need to read and write - the important thing is that they are able to make themselves understood', and we say this with a straight face too.

Instead we keep repeating ourselves in classes due to absences and new comers, while the most common sensical thing would be to have classes that re-start every 2 month in a rotation, smaller groups and move people on, but that would mean having to repeat ourselves over and over again every 2 months as the new classes start, NOT FUN.

But here we had an extra weapon, another Word to hit each other with, "Rotation would be against the principle of Reception', WHAT?? yes, The Principle of Reception, which should stand just as meaning 'everyone is welcome regardless of their beliefs, skin color, ethnicity or original language' and not 'everyone is welcome to join any class at whatever level they prefer, not do their homework and come as they see fit regardless of the disruption that their behavior will bring to those who have started 2 months before and will have to go back to scratch' and yet just by one simple word "RECEPTION", loaded with religious double entendre of 'let the children come to me' we held each other hostages of emotions and feelings and we are fucking up a whole education system - because even if it's free it's still education and it is a system, that at the moment is not working.

Moving on on point 2, how do we assess when they are ready to move on? 

OBVIOUSLY the answer here was TESTS, but since we travel Life each one carrying their personal bullshit, memories of failures and embarrassment, we now see TESTS as a boogaboos that we don't want to 'impose on others' ad we wish to rely on our personal individual ability to judge when one is ready for the next class. I have been given the last class available, equivalent to the 4th year, they got there by consistent attendance but NOT by gaining understanding of what would be expected by the 4th year of studying a foreign language. Here too, we don't have to come up with clever solutions, there are European guidelines that we have to translate into tests. Unfortunately tests preparing and rating is time consuming and extra work for the volunteers, which is the secret hidden reason why we don't want to see the common sense in testing and desire to retain the scepter of power to grant access to one class or not, based on merit and sympathy as we hold on to 'the ones we like for ages' at level A just because they are FUN to have in the class.

So here the separating word was TESTS, which stood in the way even of an agreement even for point 3, when in fact unless I test your comprehension of the language I don't know where to assign you that would serve you, the student, best, but hei, I finally get to play teacher here, I want the same powers of discrimination my teacher had and I won't give them up.

So we basically voted against the tests (?), a big sight of relief for those that have personal issues with tests, for those that fear the extra work and for those that don't have a clue about how to go about it but don't want to say just that.

Last, let's get a book, on this we all voted YES, this was easy, only money was involved, every school has a BOOK, none of us has seen this particular book we are buying in 100 copies but as bad as it may be it will be a track to move along and very useful in a system where teachers rotate every evening and should be able to move on from what has been done the evening before.

The core issues were not addressed.

Ours was a small system play out of the big world systems play outs. We can't come to a common ground because we live inside a world where words have taken on 'personal meanings' and are no longer expressing one point we can all see for just what it is, hence we can't work together with same-meaning-words to come to Solutions.

Let's take Capitalism, booh. Scared yet?

We have scared ourselves with this one word to mean the sum of all of our separations, Capitalism now means that some get it all and some get none, Capitalism means a system where life is forgotten and people are divided in classes and instead of redefining the word 'Capital' into 'LIFE' a concept on which we could all agree on because, well, because if you are dead whatever Capital you believed you had is worth nothing and you are still dead to highlight how the Capital of this existence can in fact ONLY be Life, and since we all share One, Equally, we should tend to ours and each others one's Life as the Capital of the World.

Then we would all be Capitalist, people who own the same Capital, Life, and live for the good of the Capital of All.

So, whatever the words we are dealing with that are standing in the way to come to a common agreement for what is best for All, we should redefine them, words are not the problem, a test is a test unless I turn it into something else in my Mind, and so is a reception, and guess what, so is Capitalism.

When we said Capitalism defined the private Ownership of goods and enterprises vs the ownership of the State, we didn't mean 'of just a bunch of lucky sods that contextually gain the right to enslave the rest of the world and kick them out of Their shareholder state in both goods and enterprises' that part we added it later on and then accepted it and allowed it, as we promoted Free market as Freedom and Plutocracy as Democracy, creating a World that we screwed up one misused word after another.

But we can correct this, I will start my own correction as the small point of Education by pushing myself to redefine the words that are now standing in the way of us seeing clearly what to do that would be best for all, a tool I learned from Desteni that I highly recommend to all, and as a World we can redefine the words that are now standing in the way of our Clarity on our way to create a world that works for All.

It is Clear that a World that works best for All would be the Best World for All, so we have to change the meaning of the Words that are saying the opposite, words that promote separation and beliefs in specialness and the value of some over others, until All words will be Equally shared and a Life that Equally works for All will manifest as the natural Consequence of our realignment to Oneness and Equality for ourselves and existence as a Whole.

Educate yourself about Equal Money, it's simple to grasp once you set out to be part of The Solution, decide to no longer be part of The Separation that is preventing us from creating a World that works for All, it starts with a decision that you then walk into the Physical, one word at the time, one breath at the time, Join us.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to connect the word tests to something unpleasant that defines 'who I am' and for then not seeing the common sense of 'testing' a student just to assess 'where he is at' so we may best address him to the class where he may have the most benefit

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that since the work we are doing is on a volunteer non monetized bases, then we have the right to set up our own playground without considering that we have adult students who are coming to school to master this language as fast as they can so they can open up opportunities in the job market for themselves and support their families

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to stand as an outsider at the meeting because I have just arrived and I did not want to make too many waves and risk to not be liked, when in fact I could have supported D, who had a clear vision of what needs to be done but I hesitated because I have to 'let time pass' to be entitled to express myself without being told 'you just arrived and are already creating trouble?'

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear being told that 'I create trouble' because I see what needs to be done and in this fear of being out casted and not liked I refrain from expressing the solutions I see, as well because I am not PAID to come up with solutions and I have linked my problem-solving abilities to Money and a reward and since I would get none if I spoke out, I suppressed myself waiting for the next chance when Time -instead of Money- will give me the authority to say 'now I have seen enough and I am entitled to speak about the solutions I see'

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to, when I was called by D. and he commented on how brain damaged many of those teachers are, instead of telling him that we should not have this conversation because it would not address the problems but create further separation, I enjoyed the attention of having been identified as one of 'the clever ones that saw the solutions' and for indulging in this 'positive experience vs sticking to the solution that would be best for all, including the volunteers who could be supported to see what we already see, I forgive myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to, when the words 'principle of reception' were spoken as a weapon to uphold a system that is not working as I saw I was expected to feel guilty for attempting to breach 'the principle' instead of bringing a common sense meaning to the 'princple' that everyone seems to have idealized above and beyond the interests of the students, to feel irritated as I perceived the attempt to manipulate me through emotions and feelings and yet, even seeing the point, I ended up manipulating myself with the emotional reaction of irritation and in that space I disempowered myself from speaking the common sense that I saw, just to participate in the irritation of the self righteous one who saw the manipulation coming, and for this I forgive myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to interpret 'the principle of reception' as an attempt to manipulate me, when in fact it may be possible that we are just having a misunderstanding about words, that we can overcome if we set out to redefine the words we are using to exchange our views, until we find a solution that works as best for all.

I commit myself to support myself to redefine the words that are relative to this specific point and to support others to come to a common sensical agreement that considers all parties involved and what is best for all the players, both teachers and students alike.

Related articles

• Day 180: The Word 'Capitalism' in 'Equal Money Capitalism'
• Day 253: Even Our Waste Kills
• Day 219: The Human Race - Who is Winning ?
• Day 174: Loyalty to Life in Equal Money Capitalism
• Day 181: Applied Equality in Equal Money Capitalism
• Cognition, Consciousness and the Homunculus in the Head - Day 291