Today during a chat a point of how we are responsible for the poor development of children came up.
Oftentimes when those points come up I go first through a moment of overwhelment as I see that if I look at the problem for real I will feel disheartened because there are so many kids and so few of us becoming aware that a change is required -from the roots up.
My automatic response to 'potential overwhelment' is to look for a reason why we are not so responsible after all, this one is quite an easy one for me, I don't even have children or plan to have them, so I can take a step back and not participate in the responsibility because, really, responsible I am not.
And yet, this point shows where our problems as the world and world system lies, it's within our missed response-ability, partly because we have loaded this word with so much negativity and connected it to blame, possibly to make sure we would not want to get close to it, who likes to be blamed?
So here goes the response-ability off the window, in a few simple step
I am responsible - guilt - shame- blame
Fuck - I am not - perception of release from the grips of the feelings which are self contained in the word that we never cared to redefine.
Actively looking for why I am not responsible - world is bigger than me - in the specific too many children, too little time, I have not participated, it wasn't me, I was a child too that got screwed up, I wasn't even there forgodssake!
And this is how we miss The Change to in fact empower ourselves with Response-Ability, with the simple basic common sense point of Developing The Ability to see what's wrong, get over the feelings which exist as an energy accumulation of excuses and justification, which we THOUGHT could save us from the big burden of self responsibility acting like the hot stove, interestingly we are the ones that accepted and allowed this word to exist in such confinement, and when the feelings are activated moving away from a point that needs to be addressed seems like the most rational thing - it feels bad, isn't that ENOUGH?
So today I saw how we in fact abdicated our Ability to Respond, our Ability to assess the World for what it has become, stopping to blame others, whoever they are, religious leaders, political leaders, family, whateverwecanfind and return to ourselves this Authority to overcome our perceived limitations.
There is nothing BAD about having fucked up this world to this point, nothing BAD as we have intended so far, it is though quite a display of consequential outflows that we are living, as we moved through existence like demented zombies believing in the Free Choice of Free Markets and Capitalism, BeLieving just because if we could push the Beliefs far enough we would not have to be responsible, it's the world systems doing something to us, look, it's those on top, what am I supposed to do?
And yet this is how by our own admission we become powerless, we rather find excuses and justifications about why it was not 'me' part of this mess -and yet here I am- instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I can't have my cake and eat it, that is only the Capitalist promise, in Real Physical Life I either become Response-Able or I am Not and there will never be a middle way, we can't be partially response-able, or minorly response-able, because for each one point for which we are not willing to be Response-Able, we are stating that we can't, we won't, we'll never manage and then we have to live out our own script, we created through the Mind, as The Mind, the Gap that stands between problems and Solutions, we authorized ourselves to give up our Response-Ability in exchange for the freedom from negative feelings - what a trade off...
What about clearing up our words, so we won't trigger ourselves into our 'automatic giving up response', and keep standing, until we learn that Each Problem has a solution, because I am the problem, I was the problem and as I Self Correct and take My Self Response-Ability so does the World in and as Me.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to imprint the word responsibility with a negative charge, accepting and allowing myself to bring up a string of emotions to confirm that responsibility is a thing to avoid, to refrain from, so that I may not have to experience guilt/shame/blame instead of seeing realizing and understanding that I am the Creator of the Content of the Words I live and that I can purify the Words I live until I stand One and Equal to them so that I may live Self Response -Ability in and as Me
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fail to notice that guilt/shame and blame where my Mind Fail Safe, so that I would not tamper with Self Responsibility and embody a point of Response Ability within the world where I stand and no longer accept Inequality and Abuse as The WayTthings Are
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel guilt/shame and blame in connection with the word responsibility because I feared being responsible for the way this world is and for failing to see realize and understand that when I resist a point of Self Responsibility, I am actually abdicating my Self Response Ability to the whole as me -and this is not acceptable
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I feared taking responsibility for the world as me, when in fact I wished to not take responsibility because living an automated life is easier and it doesn't challenge me and there is always an excuse I can find to prove that I am NoT responsible instead of seeing realizing and understanding that Any excuse or justification means I cannot be Response-Able about anything, because Self Response-Ability is an accumulation of stepping through my limitations about things I believed I could not change, starting with myself, until I prove to myself that I can Change and that as I can change myself I can change the World in and as Me, as part of a Group that stands United, unmovable, no longer accepting anything less than what we could be as Self Response Able Humans creating a Self Response Able World for Ourselves and All of Existence Equal and One
I commit myself to stand as a Point of Self Response Ability and to refuse to engage any excuse that I offer myself as The Mind to why I can cut myself some slack, because there is plenty of slacking in the world and it is by embracing our slacking that we ended up where we are and so I commit myself to flag for myself points where I do seek for a 'feeling better' interpretation of reality that lets me off the hook of my Self response- ability, to correct myself, bring that Response Ability back to myself and write about any System that is misaligned to offer a prospective on how an Alignment Can Be Made, to serve What is Best for All and Create a World where All Life is Honoured and we can live in Harmony forever more.
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