Showing posts with label Education System. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Education System. Show all posts

Monday, January 14, 2013

Day 244: Immigration - Only SuperHeroes and the Rich are Welcome





I have taken up teaching Italian to foreigners at one of our 'No School - Schools' Projects.

These projects are born outside of the curricula of the Ministry of Education because Immigrants are not Natives and as such they are not entitled to an Education, never mind a free one.

Yet, without them learning to speak Italian they won't be able to integrate in the system, obviously, that would be The Purpose, to Not have them integrate, because they are not Natives, they are Alter-Natives, people who just happened to be born somewhere else where incidentally they don't have enough to live or support their families.

We want to stress the 'incidentally' point, we insist it's an accident that Third World exists, they are just developing, longest incubation ever to take place, unseen anywhere in nature, they were developing when I was born and still busy at it, please read HOW did we manage to keep them there through History - international Trade Agreements are not Secret Service Documents and are available online, the terms of what we made them agree to -to make sure they would not develop and served us as Slaves- will make you weep.

So, back to the Alter-Natives, left with no alternatives but to migrate somewhere else, this is why they do it, who wants to leave their Homeland and often their families behind to move somewhere else, possibly somewhere where you are Not welcomed and you are even looked at as a thief of jobs and opportunities of the apparently "Entitled Natives", who believe their Birth gives them more Right to a chance to Life, sorry you were born on the wrong side of Capitalism, pray to God, accept your place, starve to death, you'll may be luckier in your next Life.

Amazingly we see some sense in this, we don't even consider how we too would move and migrate to try and Live if our chances for a Life were limited, but the point is that we are tightening the noose around the necks of everyone deliberately to ignite the flame of our Fear of Survival so we'll be kept in place and moved to hate our neighbors, solving on behalf of our governments the problem of support for the Alter-Natives, WE are the ones demanding that it shall not be given, no matter what this will cost them.

So we have now a network of schools that are self sustained and have sprung up in the most unlikely places to support this reality that is not going away, no matter how much we wish it away or pray for it to go away.

We use political parties headquarters in the evenings or social centers for a nominal fee, not even too nominal if you consider some classroom fetch up to 8000 euro a year and have to be paid through money raised by the community. There is no teaching material provided either, the results is that some 4 years after they start school, their Italian is still limping and broken and no matter how they look, we KNOW they are not Natives, it seems imperative to keep them separate in everything, from language to housing, to the point that we have ghettos that have spontaneously come to life while the municipalities look elsewhere, look at how to forbid the construction of another mosque to protect our rights to worship a Man who said that we should love each other and give to each other what we would like to receive, we forgot the teachings to hold on to the cross and we have fights about our Right to have One in each and every classroom, to scare the kids, to tell them that they'll be crucified for wanting Equality for All, while we fail to see the living cross where we put these people everyday through not giving access to them to 'our' society, we call them 'marginalized' a bit like our system, it seems it's "the system" that is doing all this ugly stuff to people and not ourselves, when in fact the System is nothing but the sum of All its Parts, and This System, We The System create centre places for the Rich with outer margins for the Poor and unwelcomed of our society.


On issues of Migration, Historically, we have liked to pick and choose, Americans are ALL Migrants -with an obvious short memory- in the land of the Natives the American Indians, who ended up confined into handkerchiefs of land and convinced to sell the rest of the Land, AS IF the land could be sold and bought, but that's another point of Capitalism we are too lost to even see, how can everyone's Land belong to anyone? Then we did in Australia, there the Aborigines were not even 'paid' for their land, they were just deleted through violence, rapes and alcohol, and what Genes to build a New World on. We skipped the 'Illegal Immigrants' labels because these countries were Colonized - aka Stolen, no wonder we make of Debates such a key point of our society, we have proved to be able to debate the un-debatable to be able to prove a point beyond any reasonable common sense and then we happily change history and history books and make movies about the New Official Acceptable Reality to portray, we put the Indian on horses after the 'scalp' of the white educated men -hihi- and scare the shit out of kids, showing them the Evilness of the Natives and how we moved in and saved the day, thankgodforthat.

We pick and choose WHO is a Welcome immigrant and who is not, when I lived in Hong Kong I was a welcomed immigrant, they gave me permanent residence after 7 years without batting an eyelid, Filipino helpers instead are Not, they can never be granted residence-ship, meaning never ever, no matter how long they lived there, even when they marry a Chinese -that has found now ways to capitalize on that too- so many years have to go by before she can have the permanent residence-ship card, we want the rich immigrants, not the poor ones, even when the poor ones are holding up a whole society, if the Filipino/Sri Lankans, Indonesian maids all walked out of Hong Kong together in their modest 5% of the population, Hong Kong would fall apart, they are the real structure of society and what holds it all together.

Instead, we let the Rich Immigrants in because we Hope they will bring wealth to the country, Gerard Depardieau may soon be an Immigrant in Russia, president Putin himself handed him a passport, it's a high profile case that may lure other disgruntled Rich who want to flee their new tax regime, that incidentally is proposed to try and avoid the French to become Migrants and the Poor to have a fairer share of the Big Pie some are choking on and would rather chocke on before they shared it.

Ah yes, and we like flying, crawling, burning and freezing Superheros, no one ever questioned Superman about his Green Card, he spoke the language, had enough Money to support himself and was after the Evil Ones, from Krypton you say, well, no one from Krypton needs a Green Card, K?

If we as the system pieces stood up for another kind of world, we wouldn't have any Migration at all, Migration is a phenomenon born out of Need, Migrants are Not tourists, they are not Here to learn about art or renaissance, they are here to Make a Living that we don't grant to each other unconditionally because we are too busy to make sure "I' get to live and that if you die, well, can you please die in Your Own Country, why do you come to My Country and then try and make me feel Guilty for how Your Life has turned out?

You should have worked harder, if you were not Lazy you would have built wealth for Yourself, this is the promise of Capitalism, everyone can make it, just work hard, you must want to become Rich, if you didn't, you did not want it hard enough, you didn't put your all into it, don't lie, if you did, you wouldn't be here.

Immigration is a slap in our faces as a society, when we talk to these people what we realize is that no one of our pre-conceived ideas about them are true, they are hard working individuals, they care for the same things we care for, they love their families, their children, want for them a batter life, come to school even after a slave day at work, or after having looked for work that nobody gives them because they can't even speak Italian properly, they want to contribute to society, they just don't get the 'fair' chance, we make sure about that, starting with locking them out of our language because God Forbid, if they started to talk and we discovered they are just as Human as we are, what would we do with our delusions about a fair system with Equal Opportunities? Shove it up?

Isn't it interesting that we can't close our eyes in the face of Immigration, they stand right on our path, in our streets, in the small shops they open catering to 'their own' while we moan and bitch about what they are stealing from us, a piece of our Right to Live because their BirthPlace said they were Not Entitled to it, couldn't they take the hint? Why do they insist on wanting to Live, don't they have some dignity to just die without bothering others while they do so, why do they wish us to watch them live those inferior lives, troublemakers that's what they are, I can't go anywhere now without seeing 'those people' everywhere, where is My freedom to Not Look? Bad bad mannered people.

We have One Planet, but not one Common Plan for All, if we did, everyone would get to enjoy their homeland, the security of a Life that is given to All and not catered just for some, they wouldn't have to take the lowest jobs that our rich societies have left for the minorities, milking their desire and need to do 'whatever it takes' to survive at 'whatever price'.

Within an Equal Money System Life will be given to All, Equally, Capitalism is being rewritten to have integrity, to create a society of willing participants and not slaves, then we won't have to move if not out of Choice, Need will stop being the Motivating Force of this unjust existence and countries all over will be First Class Countries and no where we will have Third World slums and squatters because Life will be honored above Profit and the Motive to Move the World will be wanting a world that works for everyone Equally vs the 'as long as it works for me' world that we created and turned into the Amazing Disgrace we can see wherever we dare to look.

If you see that Immigration is a problem of our accepted and allowed Abusive System of Self Interest and Greed that is created to make some More than Others and their Right to Life more than the Right to Life of Every Living Being, join Equal Money, spread the news, support the coming of a new system where the Life of All will be Equally honored and the Dis-Grace of the Poor Migrants will be addressed at the root cause of Migration, the Basic Human Right of the Right to Life for All.


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Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Day 201: When I feel Stupid is Your Fault





Today first day back at the GYM. The gym consultant gave me a possible schedule of classes I could join and told me that today I could start with the 'Dance Fit' Class, she said it was easy enough to restart a fitness program. Reluctantly I went it.

The teacher started by saying that the choreography of the day was difficult, at which I approached her to tell her 'it's my first time should I give up? Is it going to be too difficult?' and she said 'I don't know, TRY!'.

This comment already moved some backchat, what do you mean you don't know, why don't you check in your head if the choreography you set up is for the Bolshoi Ballet or for American Idol and then come back to me with a specific answer?

The truth is I wanted out and she did not give me a reason to walk out, to quit, her fault.

So here starts the dance routine, she said 'we'll do Jennifer Lopez today'. Panic.

Breathe.

The room was full of mirrors like Versailles, amazingly it didn't reflect to me the Hippo in Tutu from Fantasia that my mind makes me out to be since I am out of shape, many women were not looking like Jennifer Lopez either, so my comparison with venom did not kick in in full power, yet as I stepped on like a retard with the on time crowd during the 45 minutes routine, I could only clumsily follow, I felt Stoopid, And stoopid multiplied to infinity in the endless play of the mirrors. 45 minutes of agony reflected back one million times.

While I was at it, I watched the backchat starting, I wanted to blame the teacher, silly fool, for not telling me HOW complicated it was, for not sparing me from feelingl stoopid, not wanting to take responsibility about the fact that it is my own doing, that I am the one that defined what looks fine and what doesn't and now I am just walking into the scenery i designed for myself.

Of course A conversation was going on in my mind as I became aware of my desire to blame the teacher, 'I'm not going to do that' I said to myself firmly playing out the feedback I was supposed to give to the consultant and yet, at the end of the lesson when I met the consultant I had to say that I didn't like the class, that the choreography was too difficult and the teacher 'not so nice' and I hoped she had not highlighted for me other classes with this teacher, instead of just saying I was too out of shape to follow the steps, there was nothing wrong with the class.

So defeated on so many levels, including my commitment to NOT do that thing I do of blaming others, I left the gym, only to stop at the bakery where I met my student, the one that just tries to survive and get the grade that will allow her to pass the year, had a 20 minutes conversation during which she found a million ways to expose why the teachers are stupid and unreasonable and why since she is specifically asked to do more than the meagre exercises she is supposed to do for homework, she can't be blamed for her failures. Heat went up to my ears. I concluded by saying 'come back to me when you want to learn, I can't FORCE this language on you and just so you know, you are fighting for your own limitations'

I huffed and puffed my way back home, of course wanting to blame her now for how far I am into irritation mode. When I got home I asked myself what was so irritating about this little girl trying to survive the system and voila', my own play in front of my eyes, she is trying to blame her teachers for how she feels about herself, stoopid and with no chance at ever grasping what the hell school is all about.

Welcome to the land of Blame, we "the Adults" are holding that candle up for you.



I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear that I would not be able to keep up with the rest of the class at the GYM, because I was new there

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fel uncomfortable whenever there is something new to do, in case I don't look my best

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is a best and a worse to me, because I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am those characters that I have created and that I now play out and I judge myself for my performances within my role playing, instead of stopping the role playing so there is just 1 of me to deal with

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to dislike looking at myself in the mirrors in case they reflect back my own judgement of myself and when they didn't for wondering why I spend so much time in my mind when the reality I push myself to face never seems as bad as what goes on in the secrecy of my trials in my Mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, due to the fact that I felt stoopid for moving out of time, look for faults in the teacher and in the class so I could feel better about myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have the patience to learn something new because I have developed the habit to judge myself before I even try, instead of suspending all judgements and just do whatever it is I set myself out to do and correct myself along the way as I learn a new skill

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to find solace in the fact that many women were out of shape because I did compare myself to them as a habit and then decided 'I was not so bad after all', instead of stopping comparison altogether and not using comparison as a way to feel good about myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when I stopped and had a chat with S., to allow irritation to mount as she looked for endless justifications of why she had a reason to flunk her tests because the teacher used vocabulary 'she is not expected to know' when in my mind I was telling myself that after 13 years of English we should have a fairly extensive vocabulary, so within both the irritation at the system and at the product of the system as S., I wanted to blame her for blaming her teacher in this endless blame game, instead of being me starting to take responsibility for how I feel so others can see the example of what becoming self responsible is all about

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to, since I gave in to the irritation that arose from the point of seeing someone else do what I had just done, as in blaming another for the way I felt, lose touch with reality and make myself useless as I was no longer Here and so I missed out on an opportunity to stand as a direction for this kid because I was too engulfed in an energy surge and I had to leave and for giving in to an energetic possession I forgive myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think 'I hope they fail her' which would make me right about the point that she has not been applying herself as she should have done, instead of seeing and realizing we have collectively already failed her, as we taught the children that they have to compete for best marks/grades and not that they are at school to learn something and in so doing we created these little monsters as mini me/us that now play out the Blame game and the It's not my responsibility game to remind us that this is what we are still doing all the time and that we have nothing of value to say until what we say is lived and then shared as the living word and not another dead advise from the deadbeats we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become



When and as I see myself moving into a negative emotion/experience of myself, I stop, breathe, see realize and understand that if I give in then I will seek some ways to swing back into the positive feeling/experience of myself instead of standing stable in and as breath without giving in to myself as The Mind

When and as I see myself moving to blame/attempting to blame or already blaming something/somebody outside of myself for the way I have been experiencing myself, I stop, breathe, tell myself that this is not what I want to live and be one and equal to, instead I take responsibility for how I feel at any moment so I can see where my experiences originated from and release myself from them

I commit myself to stop this blaming game, to stop existing as blame and self judgement that then turns into blame and to find out consistently in self honesty where and how I am still participating in this movement, so I can stop myself and realign myself to Oneness and Equality and What is best for All for myself and all of existence, Equal and One.




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Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Day 192: Social Engineering - PhD for Sale!!! Got Money?



Today I went to see an Education Consultant. I would like to take some management courses that require a Master or a PhD and I anticipated to them I have a long working experience and asked yesterday when we spoke on the phone if I could get credits for my working experience toward an MBA or a PhD.

I am not as subject to intimidating environment or people since I have started to walk with Desteni, this association I went to, which ranks no. 1 as Educational Consultants in Italy is located in an old fancy building in a quite Central position, that means big Money and its a show off of Power, as everything that is Money related.

The lady that received me was dressed to kill, my first thought was 'sluttish' high platform hills, a skirt that outlined her bottom and clothes generally way too tight for comfort, designed to impress. I have dressed like that minus the platform shoes that in my Mind are connected as an association to Prostitutes, when I was a kid only Prostitutes wore platforms, now they are everywhere, considering that my memories -even though Not all association - are culture based, we can see how we have oversexualized everything all the way into the workplace, even in positions where women do not need their seduction skills as their jobs are in a way 'secured', but the CULTure is what runs a country and Fashion makes Victims everywhere we look in Italy, as dressing is to stick to a Fashion Code, even when that code becomes ludicrous and obviously absolutely uncomfortable.

She asked me my experience and started to take notes, I had an eclectic working life, she stopped taking notes when she realized that she had all the information she was after, which basically were, were was I with schooling and what I could claim and mainly what I could pay.

She then proceeded with a convoluted speech bringing examples of people 'they helped' to close their paper gaps, a lot of words were spent to say one simple thing, if I was wiling to shed 13000/15000 Euro I would get a PhD in 1 year, she specified that this PhD is Legal and I can use the prefix "Dott" in front of my name BUT since is empty of content, I cannot use it to access the Management courses I wish to access where I would be allowed to sit as an auditor through all the course (PAYING LIKE A REGULAR STUDENT), but won't be allowed to sit for the exams.

To cut through the chase of this river of words I said to the lady 'sorry, I am not clear about what YOU give me during this 1 year of preparing for the PHD? 'And she said 'a Tutor to help you write out your thesis', and then I said that the most expensive Uni Italy has yearly taxes that go from 3000/11000 according to the family income and that students would get their full support in terms of CONTENT and that what it seemed she was selling beyond words, was an empty certificate, not an education to support me to fill the gaps that would allow me to access the courses I am interested in, and pushing words here and there, I ended up calling the service they sold 'a racket'. Obviously the exchange after that point was brief as we both had come to a conclusion from which there was no return, the point of lack of content was owned, the point of lack of support or tutoring was owned, what was left was a price tag for a PhD, that I was NOT willing to pay.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel diminished by not having access to the education System as the topics of my interest and where I see myself do well and be effective, due to the way our Education system is set up, not for Education but for Money Making purposes

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress the feeling of inadequacy for even having to be in a place for Education consultation at my age and for then looking for something 'wrong' with the lady that received me which I found could be her 'sluttish' attire because that made Her out of place in an Education Consultant Position as much as I felt out of place being there

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the thought 'no matter how sluttish you are dressed like, you are still ugly', proving that I held resentment towards her for how she was presenting this whole business to me as Education and for having a job, no matter what the job was like, which in the specific was about selling paper/titles for Money,  and for trying to suppress the desire to find faults with her to move myself out of my feelings of inadequacy to make myself feel better

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel ashamed that this thought came up and for trying to brush it away, until it became a source of distraction while she was talking as I was having my own personal battle between good and evil, missing out on what she was saying at times because I was too busy wrestling myself to the ground, instead of breathing, flagging the point and telling myself I would unravel it later and keep myself there in Breath to have a real conversation with another being

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value having an "education', failing to see that within this system an Education is just a Possession like having a Cartier watch, something to show off that cost Money and that has value ONLY for that reason, because the content of our Educational system is ludicrous, and we can see it by working and facing the newly graduated who have been prepared for dead subjects such as dead languages and can speak Greek or Latin -just about among themselves at school, since Old Greek or Old Latin are as DEAD and as useless as they come and they are valued just as a point of 'exclusivity' in education, which is another point of Worth/Value - while they lack All skills to Live effectively and contribute effectively in Life or any organizational situation, proving that Capitalist Education is just a SCAM

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to buy into the knowledge game, when in fact no knowledge so far has been of any use to come up for a Global Solution that is Best for All and still we can't let it go, because Knowledge=Power=Money and so at best we try to have more knowledge than others for more Power and more Money and to assure a more comfortable place for ourselves within the World System, while we accept and allow ourselves to believe that 'we worked hard to get where we are'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, realize and understand, that not having the same access to Education for All is in fact deliberate, because this System called Capitalism that spreads the Lie of Equal Opportunity for all those that work hard, is in fact a Lie, because the system is NOT designed to be able to cater to the Wants and desires of All within a limited supply of Money and a limited reality of resources, and so it uses the Education System to filter out not the worse, but the challenging ones, the ones that may no fit like square cogs into square holes and keep the system working and that our support of this Capitalistic System proves our desire to create Lives that are worthier than others so we can all keep some slaves down at the bottom to cater for cheap labour and our every whim at the cheapest price possible, and this is possible ONLY if we de-value some Lives vs others, and Education is one of such Tools

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see realize and understand that when we allow a world that is divided in Classes, from First Class to Third Cass and then we call it First World and Third World to confuse the cards on the table, the result of our Class-ism will be that those coming out of their Third Class Universities won't have access to the World system with the same Value as the Ones coming from First Class, not because the subjects studied were different, but because they are Worth Less by Birth and so we end up with University Graduates from the Philippines slaving away for Uneducated Chinese in Hong Kong just because the Money flows from the Chinese down, proving that Education is worthless in the face of Money and unless has been paid for with Big Money in First World/Class Universities which is in fact the key to Valuable Prestigious Diplomas that open the doors to the World System

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that having a University certificate is a Proof of someone's intelligence and worth above others when in fact what is determining the Worth of All in this World at the Moment is MONEY and so we better wisen up to it and let go our ideas and beliefs about the Value of Education, because the Value of an Education is just like everything else, determined by the Money invested in an Education and is no measure of either effective nor capable Human beings, but just another sign of how far we have taken the Money point into every walk of Life and how we accept and allow Money to determine and define Who we are and Who everyone else is, reducing Life to a mere price Tag that those that cannot afford to pay, by no fault of their one, will be reduced at the bottom of society with few or no hope to ever climb up



I commit myself to no longer value education as knowledge and information as I see realize and understand that there is No Value in anything we have done so far that has Not Created a World that is Best for All

I commit myself to stop defining myself according to the Master and PhD I do not have as I move to no longer support the illusion of Value of anything in separation from me as Breath as Life, One and equal to everything that exists.

I commit myself to expose the Education System for what it is, a tool for Social Engineering, a tool for Separation, a Tool for sifting through Humanity to scoop out the ones that will serve the system as faithful slaves and to only direct myself to learn what I need to know to move effectively within this system as a Self responsible, Self Directive Human being standing for what is Best for All, for myself as All of Existence, Equal and One.

I commit myself to support an Equal Money System that will guarantee Free relevant Education for All, to stop this system of profit and lack of content as a Racket we created to Profit from One Another and to support others to see Reality for what it is, so we may wake up and move on from this World of Abuse to a World of Support for All Living Beings, Equal and One.


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Friday, October 12, 2012

Day 170: The (De)Grading of Children - Teacher Character




Yesterday I have seen my English student again, in less than 2 months she forgot almost everything we did together for the exam, plus she refused to take on some homework to build her vocabulary because 'that is not what the new English teacher asks her to do and grades her for', I have tried the common sense approach of explaining that a language is for communication and the vocabulary is a fundamental part of it, failed, she stuck to the grades point, asked her to put in 20 minutes a day extra curricula to keep her English up, she said no because she had too much to do, asked her to fill in 'at least' the part of the present continuous her teacher is explaining now, she said no because those homework were not given to her in class and she will not be graded for them.

At the height of my exasperation I told her ' I will tell your mum', way to go Ele, I justified 'scaring her' for her own good, because 'how can she not see they are fucking with her and in a country like Italy where soon everyone will have to migrate again she better get her English skills together, so I projected on her my own fears of the future that is waiting for all of us.

This was the result of a mounting irritation that took place during lesson yesterday, she could not focus and she made 2 jokes to which I reacted, one was about 'don't go to the park because is full of junkies' , the second was 'I am sorry for the little China Children but I will never give up my Nike shoes', basically I was one inch from desiring to slap her.

I tried to engage her on the 'poor children of China' conversation but we got to the point when she said, "Nike has cleaned up its act since they were caught abusing Child labor, so now it's all 'fine' again", that was not the point I tried to make but I wasn't even clear on the point I was trying to make myself so I let that go as I perceived the internal reaction and I knew I would have said something useless and sstupid just to make My Point.

SO what are the common sense words to speak to a kid to help them through this world, to explain that we, the Adults, are sorry for TheGrading them, that we wish we didn't build or accepted and allowed such a system in which children are deGraded and marked and then sold ideas that Life is about a pair of Nike shoes no matter at what cost they come to the market, that we are not separate, that we are One Life, and that saying 'fuck you' is basically 'fuck me', even if it doesn't seem so.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react with irritation when my student said she won't do extra homework from the ones assigned, because she cannot see a value in education, instead of realizing I was irritated with myself because at her age I was all about grades and I couldn't give a shit about what I was learning or the fact that it would impact my ability to become effective in the system

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not sort out my reaction through breathing but for tightening up in the 'teacher role' and 'how come you don't get it, you silly fuckup' because I felt self righteous as I saw myself 'knowing better' and 'what do you understand about the world, you sheep'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lose myself into a backchat about my student instead of bringing myself back here in breath to take responsibility and direct that moment in common sense

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to 'schooling stories' and the 'horrors of the schooling system' because I wish to blame the schooling system for what I did not learn at school, such as geography, that led me to think I am geography Dumb because I cannot remember where countries are located on the map, in some cases not even after I visited them or lived there for a while

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that as I moved into the Teacher Role she moved into the Dumb Student Role and then reacted thinking I was the cause of her reaction as I believed my teachers were the cause of my reactions when I was her age

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am stupid for not fairing equally well in all subjects I was taught and for then when faced with a student, pass on my perception that unless you study what the teacher tells you and how the teacher tells you, you are stupid because you don't get that one day in your life you will need this skill such as speaking English, which was what my teachers told me/hinted to me when I did not study what I was not interested into

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not direct the point that arose yesterday when my student reacted to the idea of extra homework, because I was myself reacting to what I myself have done, as having moved into the 'Teacher Role' and having difficulties getting off that pedestal and then wishing to put her down, because as my authority was not recognized I felt diminished and then moved to diminish her, and isn't this what the wonderful world of teaching is all about? Teaching how we can abuse each other in our pursuit of power and value, and for this, I forgive myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to choose deliberately words that would highlight her lack in the subject of English instead of encouraging her to do better by breathing and putting myself in her shoes, having a truckload of mainly useless homework to do and feeling crushed by the uselessness of the system she lives in and as

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, when faced with the schooling system, desire to wreck havoc, go to the school and point out that what they are doing to the kids is WRONG, instead of seeing I seek my own self righteousness of the awakened one vs the sleeping sheep which is NOT going to bring a change to this world, because only an overall system change will change the fuckup we have become, from education to everything else

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that Education is one of the fields in which we can see the trickle down effect at his best, where our own fuck ups of being TheGraded at School resulted in now wanting to DeGrade the new children, so they get some of what we have got, justifying the value of an education that is designed to assess the worthiness of the next slave and how to fit them proficiently into their role as cogs of the machine

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resent having been graded at school, based on the moods of a teacher and on her preferences for some vs others, when in fact yesterday I was the teacher grading a student based on my mood while I was reacting and trying to just suppress my reaction because 'I don't want to be THAT kind of teacher'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel diminished in my teacher Authority because, since I am not the one DeGrading her officially and since we no longer have the FEAR of the exam as a Motivator, I felt powerless to enforce something that would have 'been good for her' and having failed at imposing my common sense I moved into looking for another FEAR that could motivate her to do what is best for her, such as 'I will tell your mother', which of course created the opposite effect of moving her into solid resistance

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel powerless in the face of the fact that unless a kid is motivated by FEAR or REWARD there is NO WAY they will be interested to find in themselves the will to do what is best for them, which is what I do most of my time, seek for a motivation to move that can range from Money to Fear but is not yet self directed

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the threat of FEAR on a kid that is already struggling with the FEAR of being DeGraded and cannot hear anymore what is best for her as in becoming an effective student and NOT giving in to the belief in Grades

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate and support a world in which kids are TheGraded so we can pass on to them our own limitations as the degraded ones, upgrading the system to now include debts and credits, showing them that life is a big banking system and their education just a trade tool on the market of flesh they will soon join to make a living

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that when we tell children about the shit world ahead and how they have to accumulate tools to compete and show them how much they need to fear everything out there in case they won't be able to make a living, we are pushing them further into this shithole that we created and endorse everyday until we stand for a system change for ALL

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think 'what a little fuckup' when she spoke about 'who cares about the little Children in China' instead of seeing Children are the product of this world and they don't give a shit because we don' give a shit about how goods are brought onto the market as long as 'I' have access to them to be able to present myself as the 'Image' of someone that fits some sort of 'Personality' failing to see, personalities are sold and bought, and there is nothing original in buying the most original shoes, because they have been originally designed for people who feel cloned and seek to 'become originals' like kids, which can't make sense of this world and seek outside of themselves'Who they Are' while we Prey for them to lure them into the traps of Consumerism because we need Young Blood to keep all of this going and we'll make sure we'll get them as young as we can

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel defeated by this system as in desiring to think and say 'nothing can change' instead of taking responsibility for my own Change so that I can prove to myself, The system Can Change, because I can Change.

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Friday, August 17, 2012

Day 121: Come My Child, Embrace Debt as Your Life

Scars of a whipped slave (April 2, 1863, Baton...
Scars of a whipped slave (April 2, 1863, Baton Rouge, Louisiana, USA. Original caption: "Overseer Artayou Carrier whipped me. I was two months in bed sore from the whipping. My master come after I was whipped; he discharged the overseer. The very words of poor Peter, taken as he sat for his picture." (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today I gave my first English lesson to a kid who has to repair the ‘subject’ in September, a term that means she tore the subject apart -and not in the recommended Orthodox way- and now she has to fix it ?

I went through her homework and found out that she did study and did her homework and she did not need to ‘repair the subject in September’ meaning study all summer to reach a vote that qualifies her as ‘sufficient’ to pass, she would have needed some help in sorting out the subject and An effective schooling system that we do not have.

As she brought me up to date with the New Schooling System, she told me that ‘insufficient marks’ which are unilaterally decided by mostly frustrated teachers who hate their jobs and sometimes children too, are now called ‘Debts’, they are given some Bonus/Credits as well to use as wild cards to pull out to walk away from an Interrogation or a bad ‘mark’.

As I write all the words that are now connected with an Education System strike me as simply just absurd, debits, credits, good/bad marks, Interrogation, honestly how did we set up such a system and called it “Education” without specifying into WHAT are we educating Children today, Slaves to a system that brands them mercilessly to Divide them from Day 1 into Worthy and Unworthy, getting used to a Life of Debts, A Life as a Debt System.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react when S. said that she could not repay her debt, referring to some homework at school

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel ashamed about this Creation of Ours in which we tell kids that they have debts to repay in school so we can prepare them for their dutiful Life of Debts

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to move into my backchat as the Indignation Character about the rights and wrongs of this freaking system that pretends to educate children while what we are making sure to pass on is our own Debt System as The Way Things Are

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create and embody the Indignation Character as a way to feel more and better than this System and in the specific this system of Education from which I desire to separate myself from

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to support a world in which children are born into Debt, where we want them to pay for our own Lives of acceptances and allowances within  a system of abuse

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that we are a hopeless bunch of  fuckwits and that I cannot see how this can possibly change if the system is tightening the bolts on Education to deliver perfect slaves for the system as we speak

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that it’s all hopeless if 14 years old kids are starting to be indoctrinated with the Debt system within their school curricula, instead of seeing how this highlights how urgent it is that we stand and take self responsibility to NOT accept and allow new generations of Slaves to come onto the marketplace where their Lives will be on Sale for Money and Profit

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel angry as I sat listening to how teachers abuse their positions of power to belittle children as an outlet for their frustrating lives of demeaning teaching of useless material that they have to teach because their livelihood depends on their ability to perform within their Role (Play), instead of directing this anger that I feel for this system as Abuse of Power, One and Equal to Me, to make my Change Real within a Breath by Breath commitment to make this system of Abuse STOP for All involved, which is just about everyone who is “alive” on the planet

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that Slavery is in fact an Economics problem, in which we have come to the most logical conclusion after having turned Life into numbers for Profit, meaning that the cheapest I can have something as goods or labor, the best my balance sheet will look like and the highest my Profit return will be, which means Slavery is just the perfect business choice that we will  keep making until we stop turning Life into a Commodity on a Balance Sheet

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that there is a good news about Modern Slavery, and that is that it is diminishing in our World, failing to see that numbers are manipulated to show the Everyday Slaves that they are doing well compared to Modern Day Slavery of no pay, no rights, no dignity, long hours of work and being disposed once consumed to death, while apparently the NON Slaves according to the Dictionary, meaning the Ones with Free Choice, are just Free to get a job and the Money that will guarantee that they do not turn into real Modern Slaves when out of Job and out of Money, having to sell their lives because at the moment Life is For Sale and the Right to Life Must Be Bought

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that the World is filled with Slaves, some have Money and some do not Have Money, and this divides us just into Richer and Poorer Slaves, nevertheless on a Planet ruled by Fear and Profit those who don't have the Money live in the Fear of Not making a Profit to buy their Right to Life and those living in the Profit gained from the Fear of others, live as well in the Fear that the tables will turn and they will have to face what we have done, while desperately trying to turn human lives into numbers to pretend that it was just numbers and that it was not personal, Just Business

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that things have changed/improved, since slaves times, as we bought into the pictures of how much harder times were BEFORE, as we allow ourselves to be imprinted with the History of Slaves, as the way things were, storing images and pictures from books and movies about the unfairness of the Old Time Slavery, failing to see that we are just being presented as kids with imaginary Changes of the world and the World system, so we may buy into the bullshit that Things Have Changed and have improved and how lucky we are and how great is The World that has recognized its faults, failing to see that we have just become more cruel and more cunning, and that when we saw that open-in-your-face-slavery-Egyptian-Style was no longer accepted and allowed, we went underground and built a Magnificent system of Slavery that never existed before, which, while it shows us and praises on our behalf  Our Freedom and Free Choice, it’s in fact holding everyone within an Invisible and Absolute Economic Slavery, where Life has to be bought and therefore we ourselves have become willing to sell it out to the highest bidder, making it our job to enslave ourselves as we accept and allow that there is No Other Way and so within our Acceptance and Allowance of our State of Slaves we hold the Masters in place, enslaved to their Creation as much as we are enslaved to Our Own, as Slaves

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fail to see that there is no one to blame or hate here as we see and understand we are ALL the products of a system of Abuse we have ourselves created out of our Fear and that we are walking the manifested consequences of eons of time in which we have hoped that things would change, that we could wait for the next shift, the next spaceship, the next energy change from 3d to other Dimensions, without seeing realizing and understanding that it is BeCause we lost ourselves in Alternate Dimensions that the World has developed into something we no longer seem to have control over and that our fear of Not being in control as the other side of the coin of our Desire to not be in Control and Self responsible for ourselves and Our Creation, has driven us here and from here we really have to stand and self honestly ask ourselves, how long have we heard the Hopeful salvation bullshit while the world was heading toward implosion and wouldn't it be time that we stopped believing such crap, so we could accept that, right, no one is going to come, a shift is NOT going to happen by itself and we have finished the Dimensions in which we could Hide, as we have consumed everything and are now left in/on the Earth as The Eye of The Needle and we better find our way through it, because a Camel seemed to have more chances than the Rich as The Possessed to get through, so we'll have to get smarter than a Camel, leave Our Possessions behind and really work out how the fuck did we end up here, how did we design this self destructing machine as ourselves as The Mind, so we can STOP, Stand and Be this Change that we Can see is required for this World, for What is best for All, for ourselves and All of Existence, Equal and One




Self Commitment and Self Corrective Application to Follow
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