I have had the most interesting experience since writing my yesterday blog on Self Forgiveness.
That blog was a result of a moment that I shared with someone who has actually self realized Self Forgiveness as a living expression of himself and so the experience I had was the result of riding on someone's words, until the words filled me with the experience itself.
I know I got it because I spent a few moments in and as this realization and I could perceive it as if it was my own, I touched this Creation for a moment and the Creation and myself were One.
And as I sat down to write the words that would contain this experience, I know I did my best to line them up to deliver the experience itself again and it took me some time, because they were not lined up right, I could feel the experience becoming elusive as I tried to frame it within my words and so I had to adjust them, mold them until I tried to bend them to do what I wanted, which was to put this experience into them, force it there, so they could carry it for myself and deliver it to others as One.
But when I read my post, as I still had the memory of the experience I saw that the 'word' was not there, my words were not full enough yet, they did not contain THAT specific experience that I lived for a moment as me, where I saw the utter Beauty of that One Point in the midst of the confusion we live in, the noise that goes on in our Minds that never leaves enough space for words to be filled by me, as me, and so I experienced the frustration of being unable to replicate the moment as I lived it, specifically because it was not delivered to me in any grand way, wearing white robes or with cherubs playing the harp, there was no speaking in tongues, there was no touch, no no, instead it was given to me in utter simplicity, through living words that carried the experience within themselves because the person that spoke them and his words, were/are One.
So, today, I am just writing a note to Self, to remind myself that filling all the words I have used so far in separation as the Mind as Energy, is a process, that will flourish with accumulation of me as my words filling them one Breath at the time, returning to them myself as Life as One, so I will no longer be separate from them and when I shall will myself to speak or write to make something clear for myself and others, equally, they won't be just partially filled with me, but they will be me, as One, and then my word can become the Living Word, as I live as my words, as One, no longer indulging in separation from myself as words seeking to experience myself in-dividua-lly but experiencing myself as One with myself and Existence in every moment of Breath.
So now I have a yardstick, I have been gifted this experience as a measure to align myself to and I am enormously grateful for it and within this, here is my self realization for today of the why we work on Words at Desteni: because my words, our words don't yet contain ME/US, they are crapped up with stuff, emotions and feelings, memories, opinions, they are biased, I downloaded a whole biased vocabulary from those that came before me and then I went out and lived it as me.
I am still a carrier of duality for now, my words are dis-eased and so my words are still blanks and this is why when I use my words sometimes I can't hit the target as the delivery of a point in such an unbiased way that the other can zone in and get it, as I experienced it for myself, beyond any reasonable doubt, hence they are for me to fill with Meaning in alignment to What is Best for All and this is how I will return Me-aning to my words as myself, as One.
So the process we are walking is to empty our words, with Self Forgiveness and then design the new words (which is what Self Creation is all about) with our self corrective statements and word redefinition, so that my words carry the meaning I have put into them as mySelf and not someone else's meaning, so that my words and I become One and then finally I'll be able to do My Living and stop doing Someone Else's instead.