Day 314: TransGression - A System Design

 

Yesterday I went walking in a park nearby, a man on a bicycle was looking at me from across the brooklet designed to water the fields, he seemed pretty harmless and didn't catch my full attention until he made an unbelievable effort to come to where I was an approach me.

The first thing he said is that from afar he was not sure if I was a boy or a girl, this comment was annoying :) and not a cool opening, then he started to tell me that THAT park was weird and you could find Anything there, Gays, Lesbians, transvestites, men who came there to have sex with their wife or watch while their wife had sex with someone else, many, he said with a sigh, are now asking for money, good old times are gone for good.

To make clear that I was not there for any of the above mentioned activities I said that maybe I should reconsider my walking path, least someone mistook my exercise routine for something else, I was aware that I was reacting in fear as he painted this extravagant world for me to understand that 'Transgression' is now what everyone is looking for.

In my life I have been very transgressive, many of us believe that this is a way to make it out of a set of rules that we have not designed and that we didn't have the time or took the time to assess for their soundness and so we jump the gun and move to the other side of the rules, just for the heck of it, no one in this world has been supported to develop the ability to assess each and every situations to establish what would be the best for all parties involved vs the FUN of skipping and hopping through consequences.

As our chat progressed while we walked he said that there is much hypocrisy in this world and we cannot be asked by Pedo priests to do what they are not willing to do, basically he laid out the make up of transgression, a Belief that since there is always in the world someone doing Worse Than Me, I am OK, I am just transgressive, just a free spirit, I do no harm, all people involved in my transgression are up for it, looking for it, wanting it and hence, we are basically Right.

The point I made to reply to his question about WHY then if transgression is on the Increase we can't consider it The New Normality, was that Transgression is just a System Design, it's the overrun of designing more and more products to entertain the Mind, while unwilling to consider the consequences.

One instance is Porn, we are flooded with it, porn is everywhere, it's in advertisement, on the web, in magazine, movies, everyone now at every age has a chance to access it, and then we have to face what comes next, the carousel of pictures in our minds, the oversexualization of everything that moves, breathes, our inability to stop sexualizing each other's bodies and body parts, we have to realize that what we do and participate in has consequences, the system did, and it created TransGression, the Steam Valve to let out the excesses of mental friction and, as its own creation, it sanctioned it and promoted it as Fine and even further, as Positive.

So, next time we feel so cocky about being transgressive, it would be worth considering that not even that is our own creation, we did not evolve into those cocky abusers by chance or by our own will, we just took the bait, The MasterBait, and then run with it, investing time and money into what creates time and money for others who laugh all the way to the bank while looking at us crawling lower and lower in the gutters they designed as our pacifier and in which we willingly stepped into, as a way to escape our experience of ourselves in this world, as trapped and enslaved. Noone has ever reached Freedom through Transgression, but the delusion still stands strong and powerful - I am FREE, we shout from the gutters of the world for anyone who cares to hear us.

Fortunately, transgression as an escape is a dead end, those who have meddled with it know what follows after the transgression outings, mainly it's shame and self disgust as we are unable to hang on to the Transgressive Label for solace because the label is tiny, flimsy, without sub-stance if not the sub-stance of ourselves we invest in it, so, it's time to stop being transgressive aka assholes in disguise and return ourselves to some dignity, stand up from the gutters to see how and why we accepted such a sub-life, such misery and to realize we have been duped, yeah, that's right, we would have never thought about finding a positive label to our ab-normal behavior unless someone thought it for us and that we'll never find the dignity we crave by association with other undignified humans like us just because we believe we belong to the exclusive 'Club of Transgression', what is left, after the disillusion of the juicy goodness of transgression is to stand up, forgive ourselves for what we accepted and allowed and take the required steps to change, it's our Change that will Change the world and turn a world of Transferred Aggression into a world of peace and harmony for All as we leave behind our energetic/feel good addictions one at the time for What is Best for All.

Join us at Desteni, walk yourself out of the belief in the value of Transgression, the Transgression designed by this system to justify why we are allowed to do what we do, think what we think and say what we say, when in fact we know we are just abusers seeking to abuse, until we say STOP and move ourselves to Change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that transgression is 'cool' just because it served as the lid to cover up how I perceived myself and the life I lived instead of seeing and realizing I was never OK with what I did and a label for it was never going to sort it out or sort myself out

When and as I see myself reacting in excitement/anticipation/desire to the word 'transgression', I stop, breathe, see realize and understand that this word has been purposefully loaded with a 'positive charge' so that I could embrace my perceived negative behavior and self judgement and find some solace within it and within this I no longer accept the positive charge of the word transgression but return it to its neutrality of what it really describes and stands for which is a behavior that crosses the line of first considering myself, others and the flowing consequences into the equation that I need to be clear about before I think, speak or act

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel devalued when the guy said 'I was not sure if you were a boy or a girl' because I have placed value on being 'a girl' and being mistaken for a boy triggers a perception of diminishment within me and within this for believing that I can be diminished by being taken/labelled as a boy or a girl

When and as I hear someone expressing themselves about me as to not being sure if I belong to the male or female gender, I stop, breathe, return myself to the physical, as I now see, realize and understand that I have associated this feeling of diminishment to a specific memory of being a kid and getting a short haircut after which I was mistaken for a boy and people laughed and in that moment I accepted and allowed myself to believe that being a woman mistaken for a male was ridiculous and as such demeaning/diminishing and that I no longer need to hold on to this memory and breathe to let it go once and for all

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel fear and excitement at the transgressive stories the man was telling and for judging myself as bad when I realized something in me was moving at the 'idea' of all the transgressive behavior consumed in that park instead of seeing and realizing I always judged transgression as bad and something to fear as I saw it could be used as an excuse for my behavior which would never require me to change and at the same time as exciting because the feeling of excitement belongs to the word transgression by design and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to buy into the design of the word transgression as exciting, excitement, positive, something to aspire to to break free

When and as I see myself triggered by the word transgression, I stop, breathe, see, realize and understand that if I still have movement within me relative to this word there is something I still need to clear out regarding my perception of what 'being free' means and so I commit myself to dig into the dimensions of this word if such a movement should arise again, until I can stand stable in and as breath when hearing/reading/speaking the word 'Transgression'

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Day 36: Desire as Value

This picture represents my idea of Desire, she plays the reluctant part, he plays dominant, He Is The Man, He Will Bend Her to His Will.

In one month I will meet the ex lover/potential employer, of these 2 definitions I am sure about the first one only as he has in fact been my ex one night lover and I have no clue if we will ever work together, as far as projects go, the more info he send, the more I don't believe he has been looking for me for work at all but he is just building the needed web to allow me to fall into it without too much guilt or regret, as he is married with 4 children.

He will be coming on a Saturday, I offered to have lunch as to keep 'the night' as far away as possible from both our minds, but he said we should have dinner, this worried me because he is not from my city and he will need a place to sleep, so I asked should I book an hotel or is he already organized but he did not reply.

At the time we had our night together, he was very persistent and a great strategist, I see the strategy pattern again, he is planning to stay for the week end in fact, in my bed, which is both flattering and scary because I have not had sex since I started to walk with Desteni, but I can't see clearly if I stopped due to my judgements of what I had reduced sex to, mind trips into fantasies and pictures and porn behaviour, or if I stopped just because I became so depressed due to my overload of information and slow application of them into a process of Life that I couldn't care less about jumping in and out of beds without any moral boundary.

Have I turned sex into a morality point? Would I say NO to this man because he is married with 4 children even though I know he would never leave his wife and I don't see this as my commitment but his that should be kept and I am just the sidekick of a professional cheater that I won't change even if I say NO to him, or do I want to say NO because I see there will be con-sequences to this and they may not be what is best for me/all at the moment, which is to have a clear cut business relationship that is on solid ground and not built for the purpose of fucking me as I had in the past with another business partner, who set up a company with me just so he could officially display my name in his phone without fear of being caught by his  wife. The business never worked out and after one year I was tired of being tied to him into a pretense relationship that he wanted to believe was something meaningful and was thinking to introduce me to his children to explain to them 'the way things are'. 

Things are NOT that way, unless we make them so, lives of cheating and lies that we then need to justify and cover up creating alter Egos, as if one Ego was not enough to deal with.

I have chatted about this point last night with a Desteni friend, what I saw in our chat is the following:

what I liked about this man was his persistence, in fact it had NOTHING to do with him as I judged him poorly educated, a boring conversationalist and slightly shorter than me, which is a turn off in my mind as men must be taller, it's plain clear in all fairy tales, men are bigger, it's crucial for the protection factor of the weakling woman, so persistence was irresistible, it gave me value, I believed he wanted ME and only ME making ME more important and desirable than other women.

My friend told me that I may have just been a fantasy in his head, 'the office woman', plus men are after the ones who are not too easy to get, because they too derive value from the prize of having gotten what is not given away to everybody or just anybody.

So basically, we both play a pathetic value game, each part hoping to get the worth they do not perceive they have from the other one, we live a life of dis-honesty in which we syphon each other's energy to boost ourselves into bigger energy being, creating bigger emotional bodies to live out, bigger personalities, bigger mindfucks.

Yet I saw this point as bothering me, while I chatted with my friend I saw  I don't fear him at all, I fear me, I fear that he will have me at the first touch of my hands, that the touch of our bodies will activate my body memories and I will move into desire and then I will spend the evening into suppression, pretending I don't want it and I don't care for it, while in fact I want it so much I have already started to think about it and how he has been one of the few men in my life I have not regretted having sex  with, already One Month before we may (or may not) see each other and face each other after 5 years.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to bother myself with thoughts about what it will be in one month and for projecting myself into a potential situation of discomfort that it may not even happen and within this I forgive myself that I am trying to 'guess and assume' what is in the mind of a man I have not seen for 5 years, just because his desiring me or my assumption of him desiring me makes me feel good about myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that Life is about me feeling good about myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse men for the purpose of feeling good about myself, not caring about them at all if not about how much they wanted and desired me because I have accepted and allowed myself to be defined by how desirable/fuckable I am to a man

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define 'desire' as a moment of coercion in which a man dominates and I just give in as this is the way sexuality plays out in my mind as both of us living out the roles we were designed for in which men dominates and women just comply

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire that a man dominates and takes over a sexual situation as that displays his desire for me and I have accepted and allowed myself to be defined by how desired I am

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to be desired

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for having had stories with married men as being disloyal to the women world in which I have separated myself from men, into women vs men

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own desire and how I see myself moving into being 'turned on' without ever noticing, that being 'turned on' makes me nothing more than a blender or a vacuum cleaner who can be turned ON at whim, instead than a self directive being that stands as the decisions I make about what is best for me and What is Best for All

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to value men that can turn me on, just because they fit the image of sex and sexuality I have accepted and allowed myself to imprint myself with, without realizing that I have lived as a sex machine and not as a Human Being and I have lived sex as a ritualized expression and not sex as Self as Self Expression Here in and as Breath

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define my sexuality as dirty and demeaning without realizing only my mind could accept and allow to turn sexuality into something dirty and demeaning because I accepted and allowed the idea that Virgin Martyrs were better than women who fucked and were not into martyrdom, because that is what the Church told us

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pick up all the sexual teaching and innuendos of the Catholics as the 'Original  Sin' being sex or 'Eve's problem and Sin' being sex, and not having sex before marriage as it was good only inside marriage and for such acceptance and allowance of these idiotic teachings having turned my mind into a sex warmonger that I have to fight to survive for the demeaning self judgements of myself that I bestowed upon myself every time I had sex

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for having sex

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear having sex and what I will think about myself afterward

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress my self judgement of myself as sex, because I wished I was over my Catholic upbringing in fear I would unleash the hate I felt for them when I blamed them as the point in which my sexuality got fucked up

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame the Catholics for what they teach about Sex and Sexuality, instead of seeing we are all brainwashed into miserable belief systems and ideas used to control ourselves and each other to never allow self expression or our getting in touch with the physical and in truth I have always and only hated me for accepting and allowing myself to take on board such bullshit even when my body showed me reluctance to the sex constrains of me as The Mind

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let my Mind rule my life and my body, stealing Life Essence from myself and others for the purpose of living and existing as a Mind System

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear myself and my sexuality because desire is a powerful force I have never controlled instead of seeing that desire is of the mind, in and as separation of me from me for an experience, stemming from my dissatisfaction of myself and my ideas and beliefs that I am not enough and that I need experiences to give meaning to my life and to myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe experiences are what defines me and what gives purpose to my life, instead of seeing that experiences are of the mind and that me as the physical do not need any 'experience' to be alive but only the Mind as it separates and clones itself into experiences and relationships designed to not allow me to be Here in and as Breath as Self Expression

When and as I see myself moving or about to move into the Desire to be Desired, I stop, Breathe, remind myself that I no longer accept to define myself according to my desirability or to make a point of value of and for myself the 'being desired' by a man, I am Self value and Self Worth Here in Breath, when and as I stop the separation of me as self from everything that exists

When and as I see myself fearing or about to fear that Desire may take over, I stop, Breathe, remind myself I am walking as the Directive Principle of my Life and I no longer accept to be moved like a Puppet by energies fluctuations and Imprinting of  and as the Mind, and Breathe through the Point of Desire as Energy until it dissipates and I stand Here stable in and as Breath as Life, One and Equal

I commit myself to clear the point of Desire and the Desire to be Desired from myself as The Mind and as the physical, until I can see Desire or the Desire to be Desired no longer move me but I moving My Self as the Self Directive Principle of my Life

Day 15: Sex as a Value System

I have a poor history of relationships, I had poor examples as well while I was growing up, so I could never record and file an acceptable way to experience myself within relationships as fulfilling.

My grandmother had been married twice, the first time she divorced she said it was because 'they were so different' and they were, putting together the unbiased info of their relationships, my grandfather liked sex, but was probably not skilled at it nor he was into self expression as NO Catholics could do sexual Self Expression being sexuality something to suppress, and my grandmother loved Money and a Status, nothing my grandfather could offer.

The urban legend around them has two sides, one side, my grandmother's side tells the story that she was abandoned during the war with a small daughter and that my grandfather would send his military wage while abroad, to his mother, so when he returned from the front, she told him to fuck off back to his mother, then, she said, years later she met my step grandfather.

My grandfather spoke little about her, but even after 30 years, he still hated her quietly, as the offence she cast on him by leaving him, HE, a good looking man with a sure job within the system, even though not a glamorous one, was impossible to overcome. One funny anecdote is that many 30 years after she left him, he met her by chance at my mum's office but did not recognize her and believed her to be my mum's friend and he was absolutely nice to her, leaving the 3 of us, grandma, mother and myself, totally blown away, until we realized he had not seen who she was, it was a politeness addressed to a mistaken identity.

My grandmother was very beautiful, movie star like beautiful, which was one reason why she thought she could do better than my grandfather, meaning, her beauty on the Money Market or on the Potential Money market was worth more than her first marriage out of need, to which she agreed only to find a place to live for herself and her mother, my great grandmother, just before the II World War.

She passed on to me this belief, that I could have any man I wanted, a belief I actually went and tested out and found to be quite true, which just meant, any men would respond to my making a move or opening the door to make a move, but later I discovered that this would have been the same for every woman in Italy as the men are raised to never 'reject' a woman in fear of not 'being man enough' so I just played a part and they responded with their own preprogramming, this was no point of value for any of us even though we both mistook it for one, the men feeling valued by the openings, the women feeling valued by the acceptance and the men's desire.

Recently I have seen a very sad Italian comical movie titled, "You cannot judge me' in which a woman whose husband dies is forced to become an Escort, this is the new politically correct name for prostitutes, as they Escort a man, to his bed, but sounds better, the whole movie is all about the point of us accepting that hard times require hard measures, and selling out to prostitution cannot be judged as bad (which we all agree about, how can we judge what we have to do to survive, who knows what each one of us would do with a small child and the fear to go to prison ?), but this movie is tragic because what they meant is we have to support this idiotic economic system that makes us sell out into prostitution to pay our debts, that is in fact honourable, paying your debts at all COSTS, questioning the system is DIS-honourable and NOT allowed, so just go out and find 'creative' ways to make money as the system is fixed and unchangeable, you instead have still room for self diminishment and creative sell outs. 

What are we accepting and allowing ourselves to become to NOT question this system and ourselves as the bricks that keep this system together ?

In the movie a photographer tells her 'you have a cunt, but don't deserve it', meaning you have no clue on how to capitalize on it, this was a clue point for laughter, it saddened me greatly, that this is what we have become, cunts for sale, as in the Italian language we built up to that, calling women 'beautiful cunt' or any other name that suggests 'cunt' in a more politically correct way, has become acceptable and desirable as the truth of what we are, walking cunts waiting to be picked up and prized at the Sex market that existence has become, having accepted and agreed on a world that runs on sex and Money.

In the same movie there is another tragic joke, when she is told to advertise having a cup D of breast, and she objected having just a cup 'A' and the photographer told her 'Dear, it's just to lure them into your home, then once they are there and aroused they would fuck even a sink' to which she replied 'this is really flattering', yet this is a point we all know, we all abuse, we move and breathe sex and we hold on to not give it too soon, as that would bring on inflation as for everything that is pushed on the market not having waited for the height of the hype, so we hype ourselves up, through make up and clothes and high heels and sexy stockings, our lives are built and geared up to advertise what we will later deliver, once we get the man to jump into enough fire loops to show his devotion because as my grandmother used to say 'If he loves you, he will wait', as a sign of respect, to show that he is not just a dog, beating his hard on down with a newspaper when no one is watching due to the arousal we are raised to stimulate.

A life of simulation and stimulation.

So sex was something that was distorted in my mind as a power tool, it seems that what we had between our legs was the focal point of our existence, when all else would fail we were taught there is an intrinsic value to us, our sexuality, we can always sell out, without seeing we sell out by moving, speaking, building up the electrical charge that we will shape into a wooden club we'll use to beat the men on the head, just until the roles are reversed, immediately after sex, then they become the powerful ones, they got the prize and now we have nothing left to give away, we are left with the memory of the power we held until we gave in and now they hold the power of deciding  when and if they will fuck us again, this is how we build up the numbers with men, we end up to have xx men, yeah, a double digit number, because something weird happens after sex takes place and many potential relationships turn out to be just what they were, a ride, to which we both wanted to give a glamour cover as Love or Potential Relationships, while aware that very possibly, once consumed, the programs that make men disgusted with women would kick in, and the shame the women feel for having given in too soon or having 'given in' at all just to face now the men's refusal and disgust would make any attempt to a relationship impossible and we just have to resort to moving on until we find the next pray to repeat the sex dance again until one day we just STOP and look at what is really going on to stop repeating the patterns of Sex as Self Abuse instead of Sex as Self Expression within Agreements of Self Support.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe my worth lies in my sexuality and how well I play the sexual card

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to be desired as a way to measure my value

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate men into desire as a way to find value for myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear intimacy and to offer sex instead of intimacy because I was not even intimate with myself and had no clue about how to correct that point

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire intimacy as something that my partner would and should give me instead of realizing I cannot have what I don't give so I have to start with self intimacy to buil relationships of intimacy with another One and Equal as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that a woman's purpose and reason to exist is to be desired by a man and then have a relationship and ultimately to be married

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to withhold sex as self expression as a way to manipulate emotions and feelings of the men who desired to experience it with me until the moment was 'right', meaning hyped enough for maximum energy build up and release

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel diminished by the men's disgust after sex because I could see it was a recurrent pattern but not to what it was linked or how I caused it

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I was the cause of the men's disgust instead of realizing that it was not their preprogrammed disgust that bothered me but that I took it on and lived it one and equal to me as self disgust for my own participation in and as the sex system of manipulation and abuse

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress myself to not show I enjoyed sex in fear of activating the 'disgust' programming in men

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe we held the power between our legs and that through that we could always get our way instead of learning to build an honest communication based on self honesty and self responsibility

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that being called 'a beautiful cunt' was something to aspire to as a way of gaining value for myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not want to expose this sex point because it's private and shameful to share all the stuff that went on in my secret mind about sex because I fear the judgement of others and my own self judgement

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel shame and guilt for the sexual experiences I had because I felt I was never real but a carbon copy image of the porn images I saw and I believed I had to play out to gain value as a sexual object

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel ashamed to just walk by men in the streets because I assumed they were always thinking about sex and fucking and I did not want them to think those thoughts about me when I did not agree to it

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see sex as the only power we have as women because by accepting and allowing this belief I agreed to a world where women are selling themselves as their only and last resort for survival

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear self expression as sexuality because I did not have a map of how that should happen and I did not understand self expression having always and only lived in and as the Mind

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel sad to see how far we have gone in our gap between men and women and for being aware that I have fully participated by holding on to secret thoughts and beliefs such as this that I am now willing to expose so we may all see we share the same sick mind and we need correction to be able to build agreements instead of the sick model of relationships in which we praise secrets and manipulation as a way of life

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I was sick in my head regarding sex and sexuality instead of seeing, something wrong is going on in this reality and we need to question because I'm sick and not raping people and some that are further down the line from me are doing just that, so , really, what is going on in and as our minds that needs to be addressed and self corrected for and as What is best for All

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that a sick sexuality inside within a closed system that showed a sick sexuality outside that has been getting worse since I can remember with more abuses and violence and the demeaning of women having reached unprecedented levels, there may be a connection between our minds and our world inside and the world outside Equal and One and we may have to stop and address what goes on inside of us to purify what goes on outside of us and to create a world that is best for All

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire the arousal of men as a point of self empowerment in the game of winners and losers as I get to be the winner when a man gets a hard on and he gets to be the loser for having been unable to control himself and his own mind

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see men as weak because with a hard on you could lead them anywhere

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use sex as Self Abuse in and as the Mind  instead of expressing Self as Self Expression One and Equal to my physical body

When and as I see myself moving or about to move into one of my sexual personalities for the purpose of manipulation, I stop, breathe, remind myself I no longer want to call flirty what is abuse and manipulation and breathe myself out of the temptation to engage automatically one of my personalities just to go on a ride into Self Abuse taking others with me along the way

When and as I see myself moving or about to move into the desire for self judgement about my sexual life, or the desire to judge others about their sexual life, I stop, breathe, remind myself we are all preprogrammed sex slaves and stop my participation in any form of judgements in separation of me from Self as Oneness and Equality

When and as I see myself desiring or about to engage the desire to move into sexual behaviour, covert or not, I stop, breathe, bring myself back into the physical, remind myself that sexuality that happens in my head is NOT real and that I want to learn to express my sexuality in and as the physical as Self Expression and that every time I engage in Sex in and as the Mind I move myself away from self expression Here in every moment of Breath and I no longer want to do this

I commit myself to disengage myself from sexuality as a way of communicating with males  and as a way to gain value for myself because I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from and as Self Value and Self Worth and that when I see an emotion or a feeling arise due to sexual remarks or sexual innuendos I stop, breathe and disengage as accepting value through energetic movements is a moment of separation and self deception in which I move away from Self Value in favor of the Mind Illusory value and from Life in favour of the Energy show that I have decided to give up as and for Life and What is Best for All.