Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Day 314: TransGression - A System Design


Yesterday I went walking in a park nearby, a man on a bicycle was looking at me from across the brooklet designed to water the fields, he seemed pretty harmless and didn't catch my full attention until he made an unbelievable effort to come to where I was an approach me.

The first thing he said is that from afar he was not sure if I was a boy or a girl, this comment was annoying :) and not a cool opening, then he started to tell me that THAT park was weird and you could find Anything there, Gays, Lesbians, transvestites, men who came there to have sex with their wife or watch while their wife had sex with someone else, many, he said with a sigh, are now asking for money, good old times are gone for good.

To make clear that I was not there for any of the above mentioned activities I said that maybe I should reconsider my walking path, least someone mistook my exercise routine for something else, I was aware that I was reacting in fear as he painted this extravagant world for me to understand that 'Transgression' is now what everyone is looking for.

In my life I have been very transgressive, many of us believe that this is a way to make it out of a set of rules that we have not designed and that we didn't have the time or took the time to assess for their soundness and so we jump the gun and move to the other side of the rules, just for the heck of it, no one in this world has been supported to develop the ability to assess each and every situations to establish what would be the best for all parties involved vs the FUN of skipping and hopping through consequences.

As our chat progressed while we walked he said that there is much hypocrisy in this world and we cannot be asked by Pedo priests to do what they are not willing to do, basically he laid out the make up of transgression, a Belief that since there is always in the world someone doing Worse Than Me, I am OK, I am just transgressive, just a free spirit, I do no harm, all people involved in my transgression are up for it, looking for it, wanting it and hence, we are basically Right.
The point I made to reply to his question about WHY then if transgression is on the Increase we can't consider it The New Normality, was that Transgression is just a System Design, it's the overrun of designing more and more products to entertain the Mind, while unwilling to consider the consequences.
One instance is Porn, we are flooded with it, porn is everywhere, it's in advertisement, on the web, in magazine, movies, everyone now at every age has a chance to access it, and then we have to face what comes next, the carousel of pictures in our minds, the oversexualization of everything that moves, breathes, our inability to stop sexualizing each other's bodies and body parts, we have to realize that what we do and participate in has consequences, the system did, and it created TransGression, the Steam Valve to let out the excesses of mental friction and, as its own creation, it sanctioned it and promoted it as Fine and even further, as Positive.

So, next time we feel so cocky about being transgressive, it would be worth considering that not even that is our own creation, we did not evolve into those cocky abusers by chance or by our own will, we just took the bait, The MasterBait, and then run with it, investing time and money into what creates time and money for others who laugh all the way to the bank while looking at us crawling lower and lower in the gutters they designed as our pacifier and in which we willingly stepped into, as a way to escape our experience of ourselves in this world, as trapped and enslaved. Noone has ever reached Freedom through Transgression, but the delusion still stands strong and powerful - I am FREE, we shout from the gutters of the world for anyone who cares to hear us.

Fortunately, transgression as an escape is a dead end, those who have meddled with it know what follows after the transgression outings, mainly it's shame and self disgust as we are unable to hang on to the Transgressive Label for solace because the label is tiny, flimsy, without sub-stance if not the sub-stance of ourselves we invest in it, so, it's time to stop being transgressive aka assholes in disguise and return ourselves to some dignity, stand up from the gutters to see how and why we accepted such a sub-life, such misery and to realize we have been duped, yeah, that's right, we would have never thought about finding a positive label to our ab-normal behavior unless someone thought it for us and that we'll never find the dignity we crave by association with other undignified humans like us just because we believe we belong to the exclusive 'Club of Transgression', what is left, after the disillusion of the juicy goodness of transgression is to stand up, forgive ourselves for what we accepted and allowed and take the required steps to change, it's our Change that will Change the world and turn a world of Transferred Aggression into a world of peace and harmony for All as we leave behind our energetic/feel good addictions one at the time for What is Best for All.

Join us at Desteni, walk yourself out of the belief in the value of Transgression, the Transgression designed by this system to justify why we are allowed to do what we do, think what we think and say what we say, when in fact we know we are just abusers seeking to abuse, until we say STOP and move ourselves to Change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that transgression is 'cool' just because it served as the lid to cover up how I perceived myself and the life I lived instead of seeing and realizing I was never OK with what I did and a label for it was never going to sort it out or sort myself out

When and as I see myself reacting in excitement/anticipation/desire to the word 'transgression', I stop, breathe, see realize and understand that this word has been purposefully loaded with a 'positive charge' so that I could embrace my perceived negative behavior and self judgement and find some solace within it and within this I no longer accept the positive charge of the word transgression but return it to its neutrality of what it really describes and stands for which is a behavior that crosses the line of first considering myself, others and the flowing consequences into the equation that I need to be clear about before I think, speak or act

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel devalued when the guy said 'I was not sure if you were a boy or a girl' because I have placed value on being 'a girl' and being mistaken for a boy triggers a perception of diminishment within me and within this for believing that I can be diminished by being taken/labelled as a boy or a girl

When and as I hear someone expressing themselves about me as to not being sure if I belong to the male or female gender, I stop, breathe, return myself to the physical, as I now see, realize and understand that I have associated this feeling of diminishment to a specific memory of being a kid and getting a short haircut after which I was mistaken for a boy and people laughed and in that moment I accepted and allowed myself to believe that being a woman mistaken for a male was ridiculous and as such demeaning/diminishing and that I no longer need to hold on to this memory and breathe to let it go once and for all

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel fear and excitement at the transgressive stories the man was telling and for judging myself as bad when I realized something in me was moving at the 'idea' of all the transgressive behavior consumed in that park instead of seeing and realizing I always judged transgression as bad and something to fear as I saw it could be used as an excuse for my behavior which would never require me to change and at the same time as exciting because the feeling of excitement belongs to the word transgression by design and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to buy into the design of the word transgression as exciting, excitement, positive, something to aspire to to break free

When and as I see myself triggered by the word transgression, I stop, breathe, see, realize and understand that if I still have movement within me relative to this word there is something I still need to clear out regarding my perception of what 'being free' means and so I commit myself to dig into the dimensions of this word if such a movement should arise again, until I can stand stable in and as breath when hearing/reading/speaking the word 'Transgression'

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