Day 335: The Joy and Freedom of Hating Desteni

I have been with Desteni for over 2 years now.

I used to be a heavy duty, unrepentant, Pot Smoker, Life didn't make any sense to me and I felt too inadequate to take on the world as myself and stand for what could be a world that works for all.

Before I met Desteni I wasn't even interested, come on, who would even think to try and change this world, aligning to the distortion of what we created is so much easier and, in many cases, even financially rewarding.

The people at Desteni helped me a lot when I joined the Forums, not because they are Self Perfected beings(...), but because they are working to become the kind of beings that care about others and all Life, this is why they spend much time working on themselves to uproot the Evil we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become, selfish little egotistical shits, that have no other interest but to have the upper hand on others, at any cost, even just by using our words to try and diminish what we perceive is a call to Self Responsibility for a Self responsible World, as our Creation.

It was only with the use of Desteni Tools that I was able to leave behind for good an addiction I could not sort out in over 25 years, and I have tried anything, from therapy, to Spirituality, positive thinking, Abraham Hicks, Matrix Energetics, Family Constellation, Detox, Hypnotherapy, Cranial Sacral Therapy, sacred geometry, anything that exists I have personally investigated and positively failed to help me sort myself out, sure they must be bullshitters with a lucky strike to manage to provide just the right tools that did the trick, or could they be up to something?

I am currently at the Desteni Farm, where I have been hosted for free, simply because I did not have the money to contribute, but these weird people Here insist that every human is NOT to be seen as 'money making' potential but as a Life potential and must be supported to find it in them to stand for themselves and every other living being, as Equals. Crazy, mind-blowing shit. By the way I reserve my right to write a full Witness blog at the end of my stay - anyone who talks about anything should have done their leg work and put in the effort to go and find out if there is substance to people's claim, are we not otherwise brainwashed if as Truth Seekers we look only for 'The Truth we Like?', how convenient is that?

I even get to sit with the Inter-dimensional Portal every day, a little girl that speaks anything from biology to physics, able to explain in detail any paranormal phenomena that has ever existed, from Demons to Angels to Ghosts, any freaking thing -without a script, of course that should make us question this Reality, we could do that OR take up our little pens and keyboards and try and diminish what we can't even understand yet, THAT will save us from feeling belittled in all our Knowledgeable Minds by someone who is not fitting our ideas and opinions of what communication with the other side should look and be like - and then we insist on us being the intelligent species - compared to what? Forks? Which other species has shown the same disregard for life that we have shown just because we think and speak, yeah, the real high achievers of this existence, you just need to look around at what we created, something we must all be proud of.

Wouldn't you like a better world? If you do, you have to start to consider how can you be a part of it, a better world will not come by while some sit watching it unfold and then join in, no, this time we are required to stand together for a change; is this going to be easy?

Surely not, we'll have to wait for everyone to align to their Self Responsibility, plus we'll have to wait for some bigheads that do nothing but spread lies and misinformation about Desteni, just because they know they should be standing too, but they rather cash in on the controversial energy that surrounds us as a group, so they can get some views and publish some ads on their website (think we didn't notice?), some would do anything for money hei, even compromise their own chances to get the message about how to stop being Dick-s so we could be Life instead.

It 'feels good' to Hate Desteni, considering that the alternative is so much scarier, the idea that You are in fact as responsible for this world as anyone else and that it is time for You to stand as the Change You Want to See in This World and that we are accountable, each one of us, for everything we have ever participated in, inside and out, and there goes a real frightening thought, obviously Hating is just so much easier, though ammunition must be getting scarce  if some have to write 'overall blogs' vs the specific libelous ones, careful though, the hatred shows, there aren't enough clever words to line up to disguise it effectively, specifically when young girls are called 'cock teasers' just because they share their views on sexuality.

 

So, there is a Journey to Nothingness to walk, the tools are provided for free to return to yourself your Authority so you can Author and Authorize a different world from the one we live in, use your words wisely - we are already doing time on this planet, because it's time we get it that we have to find ways to coexist, and one day you will open your eyes to realize the world we live in is a world you are contributing to with your words and godforbid the day you will, you better find a place to go for support because the fall will be painful, I can testify to this from personal experience.

For those that claim to be intelligent, please consider that being in the business of hating Desteni is a luxury no one can really afford, because this time Money won't buy anyone their way out of here, we'll have to walk together a new path for a new world and there is never going to be Your Way out of this.

Desteni has written and is writing a Destiny for All Humankind, a Way Out, together we can stop all suffering and return Dignity to this world, you have the Choice to join and walk your change or not, but no Choice is Free, not even to those with plenty of Money, We are all Doing Time here, and will do all the Time required to Self Realize that either this World works for All or soon it won't work for anyone, because we can only be and live what we are willing to give and let others be, Jesus said that -and instead of living his words -we crucified him.

There is Only One Choice that ends All Consequences, and that is what is Best for All, which is not an opinion or an idea, it's a point each one can find within themselves if they care to look for it, the Cross is the Choice, you get off if you For-Give Life to yourself and All Equally or you can Not Be for-Give-ness and nail yourself to the Cross until you make the Right Choice, there was always Only One Choice - Dumb Human - we just kept missing it.

You can get it now or after some Time on The Cross, You Choose.  Happy CrossOvers ahead.

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Day 256: The Experience of Others -My Responsibility?

Today the husband of the lady that comes to me for massages -that has lately joined her for his back pain - called me to tell me they won't be coming tomorrow because they had a very bad night and she has moved back into her blamefull hateful Character for which she is on antidepressants. He seemed to want to share how bad it had been, I told him to ask her if she wanted to come up in the afternoon for a coffee and he said 'I will ask her when she allows me to talk to her at the moment she doesn't want to see me, she has been blaming me all night - the psychiatrist will come tomorrow'.

I moved almost immediately into anxiety and went looking for my responsibility for how she is experiencing herself, I tried to resist her attempts to put the responsibility for her health in my hands all the time when I was aware of what she was doing, returning this responsibility to her every single time and underlining that it was in this responsibility for her health and herself that the power to get better was but it's a lifetime habit that I saw her resisting nail and tooth, regardless of pushing back the responsibility at all times prior to today I had a couple of episodes in which I did ask myself 'what did I do wrong?' as a result of her changing mood or reverting back to the 'Complainer Character'.

I had a tinge of angry backchat as well during which I went and interpreted her abusive behavior as just that, a fucking abuse she covers up with personality problems, but what do I know, some are so far down the line into personalities and Character's Possession that they have lost their ability to self direct and are just taken over, specifically due to how we are made to believe what happens into our minds is a random occurrence on which we are powerless, until we believe it. 

How else could the Psycho drug industry thrive off Mental Illnesses?

When I was a kid my mum used to blame me for her mood changes, initially she would use an event that could "objectively" be taken as my responsibility such as a poor grade at school but as time progressed and so did her mood imbalance, she would either make up things I allegedly did, said or 'thought' -but she could see the incriminating thought clearly from my face from her superior 'parent position' she claimed- to make me responsible for how she experienced herself.

I believed I was the cause of her imbalances and that I should be blamed for how people experienced themselves around me, a huge unbearable responsibility to say the least.

Of course I copied this Character and then did it to others, in fact I developed the ability to collect points of failures of others toward me just for this purpose, so that when I would have a mood swing I already had the reasons lined up to blame it on someone else.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was responsible/the cause/the origin of my mum's mood swings specifically when I did not intend to cause any trouble but the mood swing would come and then I would have to take responsibility for my imaginary faults to have peace at home again

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear my mother's mood swings and being made responsible for them instead of seeing I was the one accepting and allowing the blame and responsibility that was pushed on me

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make up 'imaginary faults' in others to justify my own mood swings and to seek for words, deeds and movements in others that I could file and use just like my mother did to me

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to, when my mother would have a mood swing and send me to my room to 'think about it' to develop a habit to look and search for my responsibility in my words, thoughts and deeds, believing that it was something I had done, didn't do that brought about a change in her and not herself doing it to herself, until I would come up with something wrong in me that could in fact be the cause for her behavior, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that She was always the origin/source of her experience and then her behavior and not me

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to dread spending time with my mother when she was sick because I always feared that I would overlook something, make the wrong expression, say something that could be twisted and turned to build into the explanation for the mood swing she was about to experience, which I could already assess as soon as we would get together, having developed the ability to foresee coming troubles in an attempt to stay away from it

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to, as a result of the fear I accepted and allowed myself to live one and equal to with regard to my mother and her mood swings, to develop a defensive personality in which I move as into like a fortress, whenever I spend time with people that I perceive are on the brink of a mood swing according to my own perception and judgement of what is a good mood vs a troubled leading to problems mood and within this for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I have to protect myself from other people's mood swings because I fear their mood could end up affecting me as they'll end up blaming me for it, instead of seeing realizing and understanding that I don't have to be affected by other people's mood swings when I take responsibility for myself and the way I experience myself not even when they try or attempt to blame it on me

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to question myself with regard to my responsibility for other people's mood swings and within this for accepting that I was in fact responsible for how others perceived themselves and for accepting the responsibility of the experience of others within their own minds I forgive myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to blame others for how I experienced myself without seeing, realizing and understanding that I accepted the responsibility of how others experienced themselves so I could then blame others for how I experienced myself and for believing that I had the right to do to others what I didn't like others to do to me, I forgive myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I did accept the responsibility of the experience of another, I inherently had power over them, as in the power to 'make them feel' one way or another, and for manipulating or attempting to manipulate the experience of another through the way they felt by deliberately doing what I learnt from my mother 'made people feel good about themselves' for the purpose of being the Creator of a 'Positive' Experience within another and as such more powerful than they were within their own experience of themselves I forgive myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear mood swings in people that are sharing time with me, because if a mood swing happens 'under my watch' it means it's my fault and ultimately my responsibility, without considering that as I am responsible for my own experience so is everyone else and that I don't know what goes through the mind of others at anytime or what can trigger a 'negative experience' and since everything is happening for each of us inside our own Mind Bubble, we can only be responsible for ourselves and what we experience or react to, but not about what others experience and react to

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that as I desired the Power of generating a 'good experience' inside another, I made myself bound to the responsibility of their experiences 'good AND bad' and for not seeing realizing and understanding that there cannot be Masters without slaves and that Masters end up enslaved to the relationships they created toward another that was not born of Equality and Oneness but from the desire to win over, be more and superior to another being I forgive myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to, when I was told today that the lady that comes to see me went into one of her Evil breakdown, to question myself for responsibility, assuming it must be my doing, my fault, that I must be in someway responsible instead of seeing realizing and understanding that I am only supporting her body as a potential bridge to health but she is still the one responsible and having to do the work to get better and out of the Patterns that are causing her suffering as that is her creation and she is the only one that can undo it

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to, when I was told she will be seeing the psychiatrist on Monday, to go into my mind and imagine meeting him and blaming him as part of the problem for all the crap suppressant he has been giving her over the years, without seeing, realizing and understanding I don't know the whole story of her medical mental history, and that suppressing the demonic in her may very well have been the best this doctor has found to not have the people around her pay the consequences of what she goes through, and that instead of going to my mind to fight whatever support she may have been able to find, I should breathe and return to her the responsibility for her health recognizing she is the one choosing the suppressant medication and the doctor is doing what he knows how to do to avoid further consequences for herself and others and within this for judging her, her relationship and the doctor I forgive myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to, when I heard in her husband's voice the distress for what he was going through, to move into an angry blamefull backchat on the line of 'you did it again you bitch, how do you even get away with it' when in fact this backchat is my own self judgement of myself for when I did embody the blamefull Character and made others responsible for how I felt and how I experienced myself and for doing to others what was done to me instead of stopping the chain of blame and abuse I forgive myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire to shift the blame from myself to the psychiatrist, without considering her in the picture and her own self responsibility for what she is living, and for feeling sorry for her husband as the victim of this situation without considering that whatever play out is on it's a dance the two of them are playing with each other that only they can resolve and for desiring to take sides between who is wrong and who is right, I forgive myself

When and as I see myself interacting with another and attempting to be responsible for how they are experiencing themselves, such as in 'good moments' for which I could pat myself on the shoulder for the 'good positive experience' I can believe I have been able to generate for another, I stop, breathe, see realize and understand that if I want to be the source of the good/positive experiences of another then I will have to be responsible for being the source of the bad/negative experiences of another, instead of seeing realizing and understanding that each one is responsible for how they experience themselves, the good, the bad and the in between

When and as I see myself cringe or about to cringe under the impression, the news, the realization that someone who is in "my circle" is experiencing themselves negatively and I see myself trying to, moving toward or about to assess my responsibility for such experience, I stop, Breathe, do not allow myself to make myself responsible for the experience of another in any way shape or form and see realize and understand I am responsible for how I react to the experience of another but not for their experience of themselves

I commit myself to no longer participate in the construct of taking responsibility for how another experiences themselves be it good, bad or in between as I see realize and understand I have the responsibility to self correct myself but not the power or responsibility to 'self correct' another

I commit myself to no longer participate in the fear of being responsible for other people's mood swings and to investigate when and how this Character comes up to self correct myself until I stand stable in and as Breath realigned to Oneness and Equality for myself and all of Existence Equal and One.

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