Day 133, Why do Men Hate Us So Much?

Today I read an heartbreaking article about violence on women, again.

I am actually tired of reading such articles, I am tired of reading news about the cruelty of humanKind that we insist to call 'Kind', I would like to let loose, get up and kick the wall, scream and shout and participate in the backlash gender hatred, so we show them, so we gain back our ground, because the lady writer, Soraya Chemaly says, "Women Are Not in Possession of Themselves".

Maybe the point is the opposite, Women are Possesses themselves by this Gender War, Equality cannot be given, it must be found within and claimed within, while we seems to believe that the World is happening Outward only and that since we belong to a specific gender, we have to stand by this gender and be the Abused as the Abused, for solidarity, for companionship.

But that would mean to share the hatred, the debits and credits ledger of the Gender Role, which is just another Possession as the precise point of our world, where everyone is getting back to one another for something, for not having delivered the experiences we wished to have, for something we have interpreted as demeaning, offensive, diminishing, harmful, selfish, like in this instance a woman saying 'NO, I won't fuck you' or going further back, a woman who said 'taste this Apple, it's delicious' and wham, Paradise was lost and she was forever blamed, a hell of a time to hold a grudge.

I'm tired of reading why some people did what they did as we dig into their history, family history, childhood history, school grades history, memories, traumas, all in the hope to find reasons to justify horrendous acts of violence and cruelty against Life, as we try to make sense of a world and a Race we are all participating within that in fact makes no sense at all. What if we became responsible Human Beings instead of accepting who we have been and what we experienced and believed to be 'Important' as our History to shape our present and our Futures, who enjoys being the Abused or the Abuser if not a sick Mind and if we are sick, why don't we look for how can we stop being sick, whichever line of the sickness we are breathing life into, does it really matter?

The writer says

"

Next time you are at a party, look around and remember:

• More than half of school-age girls experience sexual harassment.
• Sixty-nine percent of American women surveyed report that they do not look people in the eye when they walk in public streets, in order to avoid harassment.
• Between 85 and 99 percent of all women experience varying degrees of street harassment.
• One in four women in the U.S. experiences violence at the hands of a partner in her lifetime.
• One in three in the world will.
• One in five women is a survivor of sexual assault and rape."

Which is just another invitation to remember, remember who we are, what we have gone through, remember our place within this society, we are bound to be harassed, beaten, violated and then, some tragically get raped and murdered.

So really, one question would be, Why do men Hate Us So Much?

What is it within this gender War that makes Men think and believe that if they could not 'use' a woman to have the 'experience' they were wishing for, no one should have her and so it wold be right and appropriate to throw acid in her face, to melt her face away, the face they desired and could not get for themselves, what is it that in the mind of men that justifies the violence, the harassment, the beatings, the acid, the rapes and then the trashing of a perceived worthless Life?

Is it because they are motherfuckers, as in the sense of fucked by their mothers to start with, that they grew up to hate women to such an extent that their lives are lived searching for reasons to get even, to square the gender books, get the upper hand that they ended up believing was in fact in the hands of women as they held the power to grant or refuse their desires, to grant and refuse their worthiness that they invested in a woman with no return, ending up more worthless than before desiring her and then blaming her for how they experienced themselves within Their Mind?

Recently I was looking at the point that I do not know how to explain Self Forgiveness in Italian, as if it the problem was with the Self Forgiveness because it brings up Shame and honestly who wants to be facing the shame of this existence when we can pretend to Love each other, until we don't and I desire to throw acid on your face, to delete you, to delete my sense of being inadequate of not having made the mark all the way up into your bed, into your arms for the solace I was seeking and believed you could give me and yet you refused me, as I refused myself.

What is Self Forgiveness then, that it's so hard to explain because God Forbid, it may bring up the Shame that is in fact existent within All of Us for such a World as the One we have created and participated within, Self Forgiveness is a tool to delete the past and our energetic ties to it that have turned into the strings that move us as puppets into a life that we believe we own, but that it's owning us as The Mind, as we puppeteer ourselves from one experience to another, from one Character to another, busy with gender roles of manhood and womanhood that are obviously abusive in the best cases and criminals when things get out of hand. We NEED Self Forgiveness to stop this SHIT, we need to forgive ourselves as our ledger of debits and credits, because if we do not, women might go out and start to douse men in petrol ad sit and watch them burn to hell, or cut their dicks and feed them to ducks, like they already do in Thailand, so that they won't be found and stitched back, unless you stitch the whole duck back where the dick was, they may wait after a lifetime of beatings until they spike a strawberry milkshake for the abusive husband and when he falls asleep they bash their head in with a golf club, like it happened to a perfectly 'apparently well adjusted wealthy family' in Hong Kong, because this is where we are headed, as everyone has plenty of apparently good reasons to hate one another, and get even, men may be underestimating the seeds of the hatred they are watering with their abuses and the payback that may come when enough is enough.

So, at the stage where we have arrived, there can no longer be forgiveness, this is obvious, what we have done to each other within this existence and in the specific our gender wars has just crossed any possible forgiveness line, we are left with forgiving ourselves, so we can stop claiming credits or believing that we have debts to pay that line up the abuses for us to experience until we see, that the Grace of this world cannot come from the Creator who has long ago fled the scene, it must come from us, to see that we are Equals, to step out of the Roles that either make us the Abusers or the Victims and to be precise both at different times, to stop turning abuses into the fuel for furthering abuses so that This World May Change.

So, to the Women of this World, it is not for us to remember, remembering led us here, to the cutting of dicks and the burning men alive and the bashing their heads in with golf clubs, and yet no change is visible but more fury and violence, as violence begets violence, and hatred begets hatred, and to stop We have to stop and realize that We have to forgive ourselves for the roles we played within the abuses, and to forgive others unconditionally as we can't give to ourselves what we are Not willing to give to others, so the for-giveness is the road to for-getting, because for-getting we must for-giving, isn't the irony of all of this just too much for us to not get it?

If you are a victim of Abuse start your Journey of Self Forgiveness as The Journey to Life, Life has no Credits and Debs as Life is Here, not lost in the Past of memories or the Future of Hopes. 

The Past is Over, You are Here, Breathe, Self Forgive, Life is Not Over until the Last Breath and who you turn out to be is up for You to decide.

Abused, Abuser or Life One and Equal?

Self Forgiveness to Follow Tomorrow

Related articles

• Street Harassment & Race: A Sliding Scale
• Dealing with Domestic Violence
• Girls for Gender Equity Helps Girls Take Aim at Sexual Harassment
• Why Women Are Silent
• What is the Everyday Sexism Project?
• Day 130: For-Giving the (Self) Molestation
• Day 103: Expectation Character Self Forgiveness Statements

Day 42: The Lone Ranger - Support vs Harassment

I have started to doubt that when I do reply to people or contact them to 'make a point', I am in fact harassing them vs supporting them.

This is because when I do not see 'the benefits' meaning 'an outcome', meaning suddenly hundreds of people joining the Forums or a river of people getting excited about Equal Money I believe I have failed and therefore I have not effectively supported them or 'they would have gotten the message'.

This proves that I doubt myself being effective in the 'deliverance' of the message, instead of seeing that it is nothing personal but it is controversial message, in comparison to all the 'feel good/angelic/love and light' ones, and that as one of my friend told me here in Italy, there is nothing wrong with the message or how we are trying to spread it, in the sense of effectiveness, it is about people Not Wanting to Hear It, which is not the same thing as taking this point personally and making a big deal out of it.

When I see how I heard the MessAge I cannot pin point the exact moment when everything seemed to finally make sense, because I remember the extensive resistance I first felt for not wanting to give up my idea of benevolence regardless to the evidence of the world staring me in the face, yet I kept exposing myself to it, dragging myself to it because even what I did not get, something in me got it, it was Brutal and Honest, it was about 'take off the blindfolds of Love and Light' and just look around to face Yourself.

And when I could no longer deny that something was and is in fact terribly wrong with this world it was a Self Realization, nobody stands out as having convinced me of anything nor was I drawn to Desteni, nope, I was NOT drawn to Desteni at all, it did not resonate with who I was and what I wanted to believe, yet the message was consistent and clear, did I want a change in this world ? Then I had to change myself, period.

So for someone like me flying on the Love and Light cloud the descent on planet Earth was not only not appealing but something I resisted, when I go back to seeing my initial approach to Desteni I can see through my own experience what many others are probably going through the same points as me with this MessAge, it is not about me not being effective, as in finding ways to string words together efficiently, but it is the Message itself that is being resisted.

Which brings me to the other point, that since B, told me my words may have an impact, I took that message to mean I have a DUTY AND a license to kill, I have placed a Double 00  in front of my name, I gave myself a Desteni Badge and I am now the (Self) Elected Sheriff, Patrolling the Internet, so I have had and still doing quite some equalizing on this point, even more than before, because before when I had no acknowledgement or had not been given the double 00, according to my mind, I was more sure of myself or had not set 'targets' for myself, I would see a point where Common Sense was lacking and try to post Common Sense about it, simple easy peasy, expecting nothing from it, not the conversion of people nor the positive feedback from Desteni because I was walking the process but not yet in acknowledgement.

Since that chat I have been fucking with myself quite consistently, in the sense that I tried to no longer speak just for myself but for 'The Group' which is in fact a mindfuck, because I can only speak for myself and for what is Best for All, and I cannot ever hope to speak for The Group, because we are a Group as Life, yet we exist individually and I cannot cover the points others among us may have seen and Self Realized but just what 'I" have seen and Self Realized and are walking into existence.

So time to stop the mindfuck and the harassment of myself and others, I am not the Lone Ranger here, just a common person that is standing up in Self Support and support of others when I see a chance, yet I will no longer hold expectations on the outcome because this leads to me feeling and judging myself as ineffective and that can only happen if I have set an effectiveness target in my mind as 'turnover' or  'recruiting' which is not Real, I am nor recruiting, nobody can be recruited into Desteni and Desteni is not recruiting or having 'turnover' head counts, Desteni is an Open Space that stands for Equality and Oneness, everyone is welcome but no one is dragged into it because unless One Self Realizes that a Change is needed and it must start with Each One of Us, they would not be having a Self realization but would have been scared there or pulled there, whichever way they would not have had a chance to exercise their 'Free Will' and self directive principle into Standing in and as Life to change themselves and the world to What is Best for All.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear posting comments and therefore for posting anyway forcing myself when in Fear, because I believed I am on a mission on behalf of God, like the Blues Brothers, instead of looking at the point of why I fear moving into some territories that I have judged more and beyond me so I can equalize myself before seeing clearly if my posting is supportive or if it's just me on the attack trying to prove that I'm in fact not scared to post and not inferior to the territory/people I am wanting to approach, instead of clearing my fears before and then eventually post.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my self righteousness because in my self righteousness I would try to make the other person less than me or to prove they are fucking with themselves when in fact I am still fucking with myself and I could spend the time working out my own points into equality and oneness and then stand as an example of what Equality and Onenessmeans as Support of Others as self Support

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be and desiring to be self righteous as a way og gaining value over another because I am right and they are wrong, or trying to make them wrong so I can be right

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to check everyday the Forum to see if we have new people coming as a point I use to measure my effectiveness in writing, instead of seeing my effectiveness in writing is determined by me and by how I walk my process in writing to Change myself into Oneness and Equality and What is Best for All

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I may not know what to say or to fear that the comments I leave may be coming from my Ego, instead of applying the tool of checking with myself if I am coming from a reactive place, Breathe and if no reaction exists in and as me just post without judging my posts but trusting that I have posted what would have supported me in the same situation of blindness and stop 'thinking' that I am trying to bring the person down or mock them, just because I used to do this, when I see that to not be true by the point of having checked with myself and having cleared myself before I wrote, I am not my Past

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that now I must post for the Group bestowing on myself an impossible task that I could never accomplish because we are a Group in our stand for and as Life to manifest What is best for All, yet each one of us is walking an individual process of realignment and I couldn't through the biggest effort, cover all the angles of all of us within the Group, nor it is my task to do so, but to simply post my own common sense where I see an opportunity to engage someone in offering a perspective that may not have been considered

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire an outcome from the comments I post, because when there is no outcome I judge myself as ineffective as I apply the Capitalistic Marketing Tools and Measuring Tools, to the spreading of a message of Equality and Oneness, that is not like a product people may want to buy of which they don't know the existence, this is a Message that we could have all worked out by ourselves, to Give as You would Like to Receive, yet we didn't because we did not want to, because our lives were working and so it is possible that some lives may have to come crashing down like many of our lives at Desteni, when nothing worked anymore and so we are not better or ahead of others, we were just accelerated by Life into our landing on the planet and we'll be Here to assist the other landings when they take place

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am now the Lone Ranger, having been given license to kill, which I have interpreted and then used against myself, adding one extra layer of fuckedupness to my process in which I had to now watch that I wouldn't pull the guns out when it was not in fact required or supportive and added an extra fear to my participation, having mistaken the acknowledgement of my acquired ability to string words together effectively, with the idea that now it is MY DUTY to string the words together as marketing tools, bringing customers to the Desteni Enterprise, which exists only in My Mind, because I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that what I do is only important if it has a return and not just as a measure of who I am and what I stand for, without any string attached

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to put myself under pressure about an imaginary duty that I now have to string together words to the maximum efficiency to recruit, which is an outflow of the point I have described above, because I am either selling or recruiting as I'm still walking the point of understanding what it means to do something just for myself, just to express common sense for those that are ready to hear and not as a mission to have something in return to confirm that I am doing good and well as a way to gain value for myself, instead of seeing the value of me is the value of me as Life to which nothing needs or is required to be added but by me as the Mind who lives in fear and isolation in the separation from Breath and Life and All there Is

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that my support may be read as harassment , because when I wanted to hold on to Love and Light, if someone came knocking on my Love and Light door I would have felt Harassed and I would have resented the awakening from my own delusion, instead of seeing I am projecting on others what I believe I would have felt in the same situation, which is just an assumption of my mind with no relation to reality, so I accept that it doesn't matter how others feel about what I post because what I think and feel is my responsibility and what others think and feel is their responsibility and a point for them to deal  with, not because I don't want to assist or I want to wash my hands about it, but because I can't and I never will be the source of the experiences of another within them as I don't have such power and so I cannot take their response-ability on their behalf but only on my behalf for what goes on and every reaction that moves within me

I forgive myself for not trusting myself because I am still new to walking Self Trust as me and I accept that I will have to build this Self Trust through Self Honesty and Self Corrective application, until my Without and my Within are Equal and One and I stand Equal and One to Life and existence for What is best for All

When and as I see myself moving or about to move into judgements or thoughts about what I am about to post on Facebook or Twitter, I stop, Breathe, remind myself that I must check that there is no reaction within me, if there is any, I Breathe until it stops or write it out and Self Forgive it and only when I am clear from ideas and judgements and Desires to achieve any outcome, I may post in and as support of another as me, to bring about a point of clarity and to share what I have self realized about existence and then in one Breath I let it go and trust that those aligned with the message and able to hear it will hear it and those that are not ready to hear it will not and it has nothing to do with me as in something personal as me Not being Effective

When and as I see myself holding the smoking gun, I delete my post before I post it, remind myself I am NOT the Lone Ranger and I am not out to harass people and I better stop and see why I have had the desire to attack, clear myself and if I cannot find a point of stability within a post, it means that I am not yet  Equal and One to that post, so I refrain from posting because this is not a race or a job I have to accomplish like the traffic warden by 'fining' a certain numbers of cars per day, I only post when and if I see something relevant and a point I can support for and as myself as self support

I commit myself to live Self trust as me and to build Self Trust through Self Honesty, Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Application to improve my communication skills supporting others One and Equal to me, as Self Support.