Showing posts with label System Failure. Show all posts
Showing posts with label System Failure. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Day 321: Failure. The Fail Safe - Feel Safe of the Mind


As I go about the process to sort out the miss-filing of everything that I lived in my Mind, while making assumptions through beliefs and opinions in separation from everything that exists vs being Here in Real Time, a process I am walking to realign myself to Oneness and Equality and what is Best for All, I can see how when I hit points where I see how I can change my priorities to realign from self interest to what is best for all I have resistances and I express these resistances with what I have learnt from others as a way to justify why I am not in fact required to change, why I can keep going at it, keep filing away my perspectives, beliefs and ammunition for when I won't feel safe and I will have to defend myself/protect myself and this is what we do and exist as, little self interested units more concerned about how I can have it my way, from coercing others into specific behaviors, to just have it my way in my mind, where I created everything that exists for which I struggle to take responsibility for because I have grown way more familiar to blaming others for who I have become than to taking responsibility for myself  and accept that I have to patiently re-parent myself to re-birth myself to Life.

So, one point that hit me hard yesterday was the point of Failure, which of course can exist only in comparison to what I 'was supposed to be' according to the desires that I expressed as a kid, in my case a veterinarian, plus as I walked my life, to the lives of others that I perceived as more successful, more stable, always believing that I was the only loose screw in the world, or the loosest one, but here again see how the Mind seeks specialness and it doesn't even matter in which direction, can't be the best? Can shoot for the worse, I will still be special because no one is as BAD as me.

Of course for everything we elicit to embrace in our search for moreness (aka madness) within a polarity delusion, there is a con-sequence, in my case since I did not manage to be the baddest because the world outdid me several times in what I was willing to do to get the prize of specialness, I was left with Failure, not good enough, not bad enough, an underachiever for my potential, I embraced failure as who I am.

Interestingly enough Failure is just another Mind Game, it's the game that says that since I have already tried something, including changing myself and have not succeeded at the first go, I should give up, it's more in fact, it's my tacit permission to give up, the one I gave myself when I realized it would require work to change because many things I ended up doing and living as, were just too automated and I did not have the tools at that stage to face how to change, what to do and so I accepted failure, because it felt better than keep up the trying without results which would result in compounded energetic experiences of FAILURE which I did not like, see, this is how the Mind keeps Safe, it will record the falls and then every time we try that one point again, it will broadcast for us ALL the previous times in which we did not succeed, seeking for that certificate, that permission, the authorization to justify rolling over and do nothing about what is going on inward and outward in this existence.

The problem is that when we do accept Failure as a way to stop feeling bad about our perceived inability to change, the Game is Over, that is when we draw the line that says that everything we'll do after that point shall fail again, we'll fail again and this goes on for lifetimes until we stop even trying because we have forgotten that we could have redefined 'failure' and no longer take it as the emotion loaded word that expresses our nothingness, worthlessness but on the contrary Real Failure is the moment we accept to roll over and just wait to die, its the moment when we accept that our lives have been wasted and so since the waste has already happened, we can now enjoy our wasted lives and give up our point of self responsibility for good -thanksgodforthat, what a Relief. Weird hei?

Sadly it all began as an excuse to why I ultimately did not manage to be better than others when in fact this is the whole point, we keep Failing because we hold this desire, to be MORE, when if we embraced our Equality as One, there would be nothing to compare to or aspire to, because the Whole as One in support of each other, has got it all, we are missing 'peace's only in separation and yet we insist on wanting to hold on to the Specialness of Individuality in separation vs the Safety of Individuality within Equality, where we get to be All of It because You and Me are One and Equal and what you have I also have in Oneness and Equality beyond separation.


Next time I will hit the Failure point I will tell myself that I have just stumbled again on my program, that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I could Fail vs redefining Failure as a Miss-Take from which I can get up and self correct, because Realigning to Oneness and Equality and what is best for All will have to come in Real Time, crossing the points that we kept as Fail Safe - Feel Safe of the Mind, to make sure we would not make it out of this A-maze-ing place that is the Virtual Reality we created in our heads, but we can, if we accept to embrace the uncertainty of walking the steps required to be Equal to All Life Expressions beyond our reactive words/world so we can finally bring Heaven on Earth for everyone and stop excusing ourselves through Failure for Failing to do so.


Rewrite Your Story at Desteni

rewrite the Story of Humanity with Equal Money and Basic Income Guaranteed, give your Author-ization for things to change by becoming Self responsible for yourself and your Self Change to reflect the world we want to build and live in, one point at the time.



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Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Day 174: Are you Dressed like a Whore? Shut Up and Die




At 7 am this morning I went down to buy cigarettes and passed my baker friend's shop (friend as in someone I know and see regularly) and she called me in.

There was a little drama unfolding which took me a few moments to place together, a young girl who was sitting on a stool was scared to death, trembling and saying 3 men tried to kidnap her but she jumped on a bus and got off where she saw some open shops to ask for help.

My friend was not nice to her, she was irritated and patronizing, somehow in my mind I could not put together the news of this situation of danger and my 'friend''s attitude, this girl explained that 3 men, Romanian, had been following her with 2 cars and 1 van, my friend asked me if I could hold the line with the police as she had to work, as the police did not reply and the line died off, I offered to walk her to the taxi stand but she was too scared to get out of the shop and said the men were outside on the other side of the street, which was in fact true, 3 men stood there were no shops and for no apparent reason looking in our direction while my friend was on the phone to the Police and asked me to hold the line, which I did.

Don't have an emergency in Italy, if you are on hold with the police for 20 minutes it's not an Emergency line, it's an 'answer at your earliest convenience line', we live in a system where everyone is out for themselves, we have not started buying guns just because we have not thought about it yet on a mass scale, but that is where we are heading, as the fears escalate so will the desire to protect oneself, no matter what, 'll shoot your brains out if I have to, welcome to the year 2012 on Planet Earth. If you are in danger you have got to be lucky to survive, if she had not found a shop open what would have been of her? Finally they picked up, I explained the story and they told me our area was, on Tuesdays, not patrolled by them and to call the 'Army' instead as it was their shift. I asked if they think to be an Emergency service or what, they said nothing we can do, so we started again the hold the line with the Army patrol, altogether it took us 30 minutes to speak to them, by that time the baker's husband took the line and told them 'just come out, will you? - we the weaklings have to be helped out, a man coming on the phone is more believable that women who are saying the exact same thing- 3 men are still waiting outside  -which was true- and there is a young girl scared for her life", the phone call went on for over 15 minutes as we had to 'convince' them of the gravity of the situation. My friend justified the police, they don't want to come out, there are so many crimes of these kind and then 'they discover the girls are involved in some sort of deal with the men they want to be saved from.
What is this supposed to mean, I don't care WHY we have to convince them to come out, there is a young girl scared shitless for her life, 3 men wait for her outside, they tried to attack her, why is THIS NOT enough?

My lady friend told her raising her voice 'look, don't bullshit me, did you know these men? how come you are out at 7 am, have you been out all night?" the girl said yes, she said she was out with a friend that she knew for a month and maybe this friend had arranged this little kidnap number. Slowly I realized my friend believed she was in with the men, that her story was made up, unclear, yes it was odd that she knew the guys were Romanian and that her phone rang and she did not pick up, the baker's husband told me one of the first questions of the police was 'How is she dressed?', when I first heard the question I thought it was funny, what do you mean, winter is coming is 7 am, what do you think, a pink tutu?

Then ALL pieces came together, my friend attitude, the police questioning, what they were really asking was 'is she dressed like a whore?', which was what my friend was implying as well, you looked for it, even though she was NOT "dressed like a whore", she had trousers and a jumper she could have been any 18 year old kid, she could have been her daughter EXCEPT that she would NOT allow her daughter to stay out the night with a man she barely knows, and so this made her a whore without the 'whore uniform', because there is a 'whore uniform', it's the one that will give a man a boner, that is THE WHORE Uniform par excellence and since I did not register 'the Uniform' I missed out on all the interactions that were going on about her right to not be raped or kidnapped or thrown onto the street by a racket, women have to earn that right, because let's face it, a WHORE is not as worthy as a NON WHORE, her Life doesn't hold the same value, we want to believe she enjoys what she does, WHORE, we don't care as much either because a WHORE reminds us of how we failed as a society, of how our system that doesn't support Life, supports prostitution on one hand, a porn industry that is creating more and more deviants, an oversexualized society, sex as the means to an end and the last resort of women who have no education and not a chance to tap into the Money System, just to shun it with the other as a social shame, something we don't want to be a part of, so let's clear this up, "Is she dressed like a Whore?", then she should just shut the fuck up and die.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to my friend when she was being nasty with this girl instead of helpful as I could not see she was reacting out of Fear to be involved with a prostitution ring and what that would imply for herself and her business and basically her own survival

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that Prostitutes are worth less than other women because they took 'the easy way into the money system' which is an Urban legend because fucking men you don't like and that bring to the bed all their distorted desires and sexual perversions, including violence  cannot be 'the easy way out' of anything

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel irritated with this girl when it downed on me that she must have known the men, because saying they are Romanian, is not like saying they are Chinese, which is a visible physical trait, and we don't have Romanian plates for cars, so I realized she must have known the men and hence she was lying which meant she was involved in whatever was taking place and not being honest about it

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react inside when I realized this girl was hiding something, without realizing that she was not being honest about it because she feared the judgements we would make if she did honestly say what really happened and that this habit we have of judging each other and the fear of judgement we have is part of the reason why we have developed a society of liars as we have not investigated how to stop these fears and just out ourselves so we can face the problems we have as a society and work to fix them

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that prostitution is 'women's fault' because they are the Sellers and they are doing the Pandering as in the exploitation of Men's weaknesses, when in fact if we had a system in place that supported Life Equally and women from birth to death we would see that men would be left with their 'weaknesses' to sort out by themselves and the alleged 'pandering' would immediately end, proving the system failure and not the women's failure

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect Prostitution to burning tires on the highway, where women made bonfires to display their goods and entice men like moths to the flame and for seeing in this the sole women's responsibility, because if there was no flame there would be no moths attracted to it and therefore it was clearly women's fault and they should carry the blame and the shame for it

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am more and superior than a prostitute because I have not done the tires bonfires even though I have done the 'dressed like a whore' according to what men defined as 'dressed like a whore', such as in dress in a way to excite their fantasies and desires

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that we are all prostituting to a system for Money and that the degree to which we become visible in HOW EXACTLY we do that only depends by how much money we have to cover up the whoring we do in every field of life and as such none of us is better or more than a prostitute and by no means any of our lives is worth more than the life of a prostitute

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize that the reason why we take away voting rights to prostitutes that have been caught prostituting, is because we don't want them in our society as they are not worthy of representing themselves as part of it and part of the vices and depravetion we practice in secret and that we in fact FEAR to have prostitutes admitted to the society as members of it, which they are, just because that would be the admittance of out utter failure as a society to protect everyone and guarantee a dignified life for all

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Fear the association with prostitutes and the problems that may arise from it, and for reacting today when the 3 men left after the police drove the girl home, driving away, honking their horns which I  interpreted as scorn, as to say, 'we'll get her next time' and for feeling that there is nothing we can do to correct this system until we stand up and declare that this has to stop, that Money and Profit has to be removed as the driving force of this world, because it has made life worthless and there is nothing we won't do to secure our place within a system of abuse even if that means abusing and harming others

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that prostitute are not like other women, because they are stained, dirty and their choices are inexcusable, instead of seeing that I feared what I would have done in their place if I too was born on the edge of a society where my only choice was to sell my body or die

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be imprinted with the story of Jesus and the Magdalene, as if that story proved the greatness of Jesus that he could 'even forgive a prostitute for her sins', a prostitute, the scum of the earth, the worst of the worse, missing out the message of the parable, the message of Equality and of Self Forgiveness, were a prostitute that holds the blame and the shame of this utter failed system can release herself by stopping to believe in her own inferiority to stand as an Equal to everything and everyone in Existence

I commit myself to promote the Equal Money System as a solution to the Wrongs of this World, which include Prostitution as having to sell your body to make a living as a last resort, while I walk this correction as myself as the system, to stop all abuses within and without

I commit myself to stand as an example of a process of Self Correction to show that we don't have to live this way, that whatever role we have played, the abuser or the abused and/or both, we can stand up and self correct this sorry excuse of an existence into what is Best for All, as we land back on this Planet together to see what is REALLY going on, what we are REALLY participating in and accepting and allowing and that any girl that ends up on the street could be your daughter, your sister, your mother and if we don't like this as a choice for our Family, why isn't the World our family, why do we justify Prostitution as something that always existed, always was, the oldest trade of all times, instead of registering the point that 'shit, have we been having THIS PROBLEM' for such a long time and not looked for a solution to it? Let's get on with it !

I commit myself to walk my own Self Correction into the physical and realign myself to Oneness and Equality and what is Best for All




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