Day 63: Where is the Justice of This World ?

Those Who Fear, Die Every Day, Those Who don't Fear, Die Only Once

Today I saw this picture on TV, and I had a reaction, I could not say what was the reaction precisely, I just felt a movement inside me, like an electric shock.

This is the picture of two famous anti Mafia Sicilian judges, because every cause has its polarities, the Evil Ones and the Heroes.

This is a story of 2 Heroes, they died for a cause, they died for Justice.

Yet in a country as full of contradictions as Italy, even the ones that seem obvious Heroes are still part of the polarity Game of Right and Wrongs, within a system that is just plain Wrong, that is built on Abuse for  Survival.

When They interrupted the news for the first of the 2 that they blew up on the Sicilian highway, I cried, it was like if the embodiment of Good had been deleted, we would have to stop Hoping that the system would Change just because 2 men stood up to it.

Mafia is a social phenomenon, many don't know that it was born out of the need for Protection, like the Church but much more effective, because bullets have proved to save lives, while prayers don't.

Sicily was an isolated island forgotten by the Italian Government, the abuses from land owners and authority figures were the order of the day, slaves used to work in the caves and they would have blisters on their shoulders, blisters meant they had a job or recently had one, so it meant they were eating, while they healed between jobs they prayed for the blisters on their shoulder to be back soon, to give them dignity and some Money to feed themselves, to show that they were worthy citizens of a Land forgotten by Men and God.

More or less a month after they killed Falcone, the one on the left who had started the Anti Mafia Judge Pool, they killed his friend, they blew up half of his mother's building while he went to visit her on a lunch break, the street where the building stood looked like a war zone.

For the second one I cried less, we get used to the system being something we can never take on, they keep Jesus on a cross as a reminder and they take down anyone who opposes it directly, Falcone and Borsellino were not killed by the Mafia, they were killed by the State because they were about to prove what everybody knew for a long time, that the Mafia was just the armed branch of the State, the ones who would take on the dirty jobs to allow the State to come out clean.

But who is the State ?

The State is All of Us, together, it is our missing in action Beingness that has been replaced by a State of Fact, where the Facts that rule are Money and Fear, everyone fears something, fear of being exposed, fear of being abused, killed, marginalized, left to die.

Because we have been grown on fear, fed fear so everyone will keep their assigned seats at this Banquet in which we have all, at one point in time, decided to come and sit, hoping to make it through, hoping in the AfterLife reward, while Fear rules our Lives and we end up not dying just once, but with every single Breath we fail to Take.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to the picture of Falcone and Borsellino because when they died I believed something about Justice died with them, without seeing that there can be no Justice where there is no Equality

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imprint myself with the picture of F and B, as a reminder that we better never stand up even when we see the obvious flaws of a system of injustice because we have to be afraid for our lives

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Fear dying shot by the Mafia

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the Mafia as Bad and the Judges and the Judiciary System as Good, when it is obvious that the system of Abuse is all encompassing and people are forced to do what they need to do to survive

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the Mafia are the Evil Ones and We are the Good Ones because We Are Not The Mafia, when in fact Mafia is just a system of favours born out of fear of survival  to which all of us have subscribed according to our placement in the world

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Hope that One Day someone would come and set this world Right, instead of seeing it is up to us to set ourselves right so that the World as our Mirror can realign with us to Oneness and Equality and What is Best for All

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pretend I was fearless because I was too afraid to show my fear and deal with it so that I would not be run by it and would have to die every single day, with every breath I failed to take

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that fearing the system is normal, because everyone does, instead of seeing I was just fearing myself and projected this inward fear outward

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that fear is real

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in a 'Justice System' when it is obvious that in a World where Inequality is rampant and not all lives have the same value, Justice doesn't exist and has never existed

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to count on an external Justice System to regulate us as Humanity because I believed that we were not able to become our own Authority and walk what is Best for All in Oneness and Equality

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel saddened by this world of inJustice and for believing that I better take care of myself because I cannot be responsible for the world and everyone is just out for themselves anyway

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that I existed as a system of Injustice and that I cannot have what I am not willing to give to everyone Equally, which is their Just Place in the World as Life One and Equal

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fail to see that there cannot be Justice where Life is not valued and Money and Profit have taken over through our acceptances and allowances an that now Justice=Money, because those who have more can buy themselves the Justice they wish for and so Justice will have to mean Equal Money for All to translate into Equal Justice

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the Justice System was set up to have the Law respected, failing to see that the Law was written by Money and that Money has made sure that those with Money will benefit from the Law and the Justice System and the Poor won't have ever any access to the Law and the Justice they have not written and cannot buy

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the people in jail as criminals because they broke the Law, failing to see that this Judiciary System is not What is Best for All, but what is Best for the few that wrote the Laws and that we were indoctrinated to the respect of the Law=Money as Slaves by accepting and allowing ourselves to judge each other and become the effective Wardens of each other into the slavery we were born into and failed to see

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to support a world in which Life has gone on sale and profit is sitting at the helm, steering the World to utter destruction, while we fought against each other in stupid senseless wars that were system designed to Divide and Conquer

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not want to face the reality of this Evil world, because I would then have to give up any remnant of Hope that we may become self responsible and take back the wheel to drastically change direction to What is best for All as Equality and Oneness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lure myself with Hope, as a way to not have to take self responsibility for the world, because I cannot yet see how my participation resulted and or contributed to the state of the world as it is, but within this I take responsibility for the world as it is now, because I am Here and so is The World and only self responsibility can rid us of the Hope that kept us waiting for a saviour or a Lucky Change of Events

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear Authority because I equated Authority with Money and their power over me as Money, fearing for myself and my ability to survive

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear Lack of Money as the point that decided if I live or die and for accepting and allowing myself to hide my fears so I wouldn't have to face the world as me and what I as the World have accepted and allowed myself to become

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that if Money has become everyone's Access to Life and what defines our Ability to Survive, we must give to each other Equal Access to Money as a Life resource until we Change ourselves and the System into a Life System and can leave Money and what it represented as Money Above Life, behind us forever

I commit myself to stand for and as Justice and A World of Equals, because justice will only be possible within Equality and Equal Access to Life for all Life expression of the Planet

I commit myself to expose that, what we believe is Justice is a mockery to Life and that when we do not give to everyone the Right to Life, we are deluding ourselves about Justice and the Justice System, while we use the Law to protect our Self Interest and Hide our Fear of Survival

I commit myself to uproot my fear of Survival to stand for What is best for All and for Equality and Oneness for myself and All existence Equal and One, Here, in Every Moment of Breath

Day 51: Am I Real ?

Am I Real ?

I have asked myself this question for some time now, having to leave behind one belief after another while walking with Desteni about what reality is.

A few already understand Reality to be a sort of a "creative field", yet the common understanding of what reality is, is not yet shared, everyone seems to have a take on it and no real Solutions, many have given up on Solutions altogether and have focused on acceptance, making this reality work for them, I have practiced a lot of acceptance of reality too in my life, until acceptance stopped being a viable option when I became aware that something really disturbing was going on in the world, Me for one, and the world outward equal and One.

In this interview by Anu, Am I Real, the point is taken on quite bluntly to the answer "No I am not", yet.

I am not Real until I give myself the gift of Life, which is a gift that can only be given if it shared by All Equally, there is only One Life For All, I cannot have My Life and not grant it to everybody Equally.

Yet Life is at the moment clearly tied in with the Money System, if you don't have Money, you die, which is a clear point of accepted Abuse which ultimately ends up as a point of Self Abuse, the Life I am not standing up for, I cannot claim for myself.

This is why we are standing for a Solution that will grant Life to everyone Equally, we are not real yet, we are not Life yet, Life will be born from the physical once we commit to Life, once I commit to Life.

So, Who am I ? Well, nobody can decide but me, this was the deal at all times, so while we let the world, our families, our Education System, the consumerist system that imprinted us into consumer slaves, decide who we were, we forgot that the Decision was ultimately our own, Who am I, within this world and What Needs to be Done, not who I have been told I am, not who I have believed I was, but WHO do I decide to be? I am the Decision to stand for Life stopping my existence as the Mind Consciousness System of Friction and Self Interest, because as a System I don't exist and I cannot change anything until I stand Equal to what I have accepted and allowed myself to become within and without and change it to rewrite myself, One and Equal to the World Systems, into What is Best for All.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be defined and imprinted by a system that consumes Life as a Consumer

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be imprinted and to imprint myself with images and symbols about 'what Life is and is supposed to be' spending my Life trying to achieve meaning and purpose outside of myself instead of Giving myself Meaning and Purpose by standing up in and as Life for myself and existence Equal and One

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to Be more than To Have, because I feared I could not Have enough to define myself as successful and so I would make do with being instead of having

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not question my existence as a Consumer, living out the Highs of purchasing a Life for myself instead of seeing I was abdicating my existence to consuming myself and Life in my search for meaning and purpose

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that the Media and the Corporations built a world where consuming is The name of The Game and that through the fear of not being enough I have accepted and allowed myself to consume myself and existence looking for the next High fearing to have to face the next Low

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sit aimlessly in front of the TV while I accepted and allowed myself to be imprinted with desires and fears that I then went out to live into the world one and equal to myself and what I accepted and allowed myself to become

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that if I don't have what I am told I must have to be fashionable and attractive I don't exist, instead of seeing that by abiding to my desires to have in fear of not existing, I did not exist and was not real

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I am not real instead of seeing that it was me that had to decide if I was going to be real or not and that becoming Real as One and Equal to Life and everything that exists would mean that I would have to grant to everyone Equally the Life I wished for myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see some as more worthy of Life than others instead of seeing that unless I recognize everyone's worthiness I cannot have my own

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that is up to someone else to decide if I am real and worthy of Life, instead of seeing that Life can only be given to me by myself and can only be given to me by myself  if it is given to everyone, Equal and One

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not consider that my every thought, word and deed impacts the whole, because we already exist as Oneness, yet Equality is something we have to recognize and grant to each other Equally to be real for All, Equal and One

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hope and wait that someone would come and save me/us, because I have accepted and allowed myself to be imprinted with the 'Hero comes to save the day' stories and I wished to give up my responsibility to save the day to someone else so I wouldn't have to stand in and as The Decision to Change and realign myself to Oneness and Equality

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to loop again and again into the same point of having to make this decision, instead of standing as The Decision that I stand for Life without looking back to what I have been or believed I was, if not to Self Correct my existence and realign myself to Oneness and Equality

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear facing the question 'Am I Real', in fear of having to admit that I am not yet real but walking myself into and as Oneness and Equality to stand for Life One and Equal

When and as I see myself looping around this question or about to loop, I remind myself that I have made the decision to stand, that I am The decision to Stand and that I will get up if I fall until I stand consistently in and as Life One and Equal to become the Self Correction that I wish to see manifested in and as the World, Equal and One

I commit myself to stand for Life until a world that is Best for All manifests, so that All may be granted access to a Life that is worth living, Equal and One