Day 348: Bernard Poolman Died so that All May Live

I am currently staying at the Desteni farm.

Yesterday morning at 8 am we had an extraordinary meeting, it was extra-ordinary because we don't gather on Sunday mornings usually and then it was extraordinary because once we met we were told by Cerise that her Dad, The Devil, had died overnight.

I experienced a state of shock so vast that I could not contain my tears and just cried and cried while listening to how this happened. There was no WHY though, no one had a why for this death, yes, his body was under a lot of stress due to the position he had taken upon himself in service of Life, but then again, how can Life Die, what does it mean when Life Dies while there is no other Life yet that can take over?

The people who have been hit the worse of course are his closest family and the people who had the privilege to share the space and time during which he lived and walked at the farm as a Living Example of what it means to exist and breathe a principled Life beyond personal interest.

I have been with Desteni for almost 3 years now and have been on the farm for over a month, 40 days to the Death of Bernard, that is for sure a milestone and a day that will be hard to forget as everyone came together in grieving, telling stories, holding together a group that has to walk the same principle but that may have -although unwillingly or unawarily- piggybacked on Life itself one way or another, safe and sound about the fact that the Ultimate Point of reference as Bernard lived among us, that he would be there to sort out our petty life commitment that seem to need constant direction because we are unable to even walk the simplest things we have committed to walk, always looking for ways out, for shortcuts, to engage solely in tasks that will expose us as valuable members of a community where we have invested time and therefore value.

What distinguishes the people who are walking process in awareness from those who are not it's either that those who are not do not know about the process and the tools of Desteni or they have just found ways to justify WHY they are not required to change, while within our group we have taken the first step, we have admitted that we need to change, we are aware that we need to change which means that we are even the more responsible for walking this process consistently, to make sure that those that didn't find the tools yet, can find us.

I have met Bernard in person and spent time with him for over a month, too little,  wish I had more time with him so he could tell me again and again that he was just 'Normal' and that it was 'I' who was abnormal, convinced that there was any value to the commentary that runs in my head oftentimes, he told me 'get rid of the good commentary as well, it's just a waste of time', and it's easy to see how we have gladly embraced the tools to get rid of what was not working for us, but not to get rid of what is apparently working, because, obviously, it's working, isn't it?

At the beginning of my walk with Desteni, the language that was repeated again and again, scared me, never when it came from Bernard though, because his words 'Lived', they were 'lived', when he would talk about 'what is best for all' he meant it, he had moved beyond preferences and likes and dislikes, I never once heard anything he said as either empty or as preaching, his words were who he was, this is why I was soo many times hit by the substance of his words to the points of tears, the words of one who has put himself as Life into them are powerful, they are Alive and they will live as a substantial legacy of what has to be done.

The other day Bernard was explaining a bit of Homeopathy and he said 'Likes cures Likes, simple, isn't it - so Like what you DisLike' - a bit like the post he wrote a few days ago when he stated that we are our own Weather station where our weather systems are managed by external inputs such as 'whether is this or that' and can cause internal storms or sunny days, which brings back the point of a computer program, the famous code line 'if this than that' and how simple equations have become the starting point of every one of our moves, we are whether systems and we are ruled by the if this than that equations we ourselves set up a long time ago or that we accepted others to set up long time ago For Us.

Bernard was a Big Man, his presence was hard to match, it didn't matter how many times he told us he was our Equal, I am sure most of us didn't feel Equal at all and so Bernard died, removed himself from the equation, deliberately, specifically, as everything he did, to create the vacuum that nature abhors so much, because every vacuum must be filled, and he trained people to stand up and fill the Space he left.

What does it mean to Stand Up, for real?  Here we could have the 'police manual' version of the answer 'to protect and serve' and we have plenty words to define this imaginary 'standing up' in a Four Musketeer fashion 'one for all and all for one' sort of way - and we should refrain from doing so, specifically in the wake of Bernard's passing, where many who may have been walking silently or that kept to themselves may be looking for directions and to join as a way to find the stability they found when they knew Bernard was around.

Standing up means to stop the Mind, to stop believing whatever your mind throws at you, to slow down, find the origin of everything that created 'me' so that 'we' may correct our existences at the very origin, re- parent ourselves into self honest human beings, check every point we face, self correct, see where I am, I am Here and point by point integrate our self into a grid of integridy, a grid we have self created, self designed, where each point we rewrote is standing considering all points of the equation, where my 'I' is used to see and check as the 'Eye' of the Needle, the Eye that sees the Needs of All and is not deaf or dumb or uncaring but Stands instead as a Point of Self Correction, as a point of Self Creation of a World that Works for All.

So, as a group, we no longer have the luxury of engaging the Mind because Bernard will not be around to help  to sort ourselves out, this is the vacuum we fill, the vacuum of what we have not yet created, the grid of integridy, no longer a faulty operating system, but a net-work of support for us and the World that interacts with us beyond the Mind and we don't have the luxury to mourn him beyond what our physical has the need to process and as well we don't have the luxury to not mourn him because we have made up some funny ideas about what process is because then we didn't get it, process is to self honest live the moment in breath, anything else is dishonest, is an opinion, an idea about, such as in this case would be about Destonian mourning, it's not reality based, it's not Real.

And on a last note, we remind ourselves that we are working to stop the existence of a polarity based world, where many lose so that few can win, where Rights and Wrongs are dictated and reflected by how much Money One Has, to either write the Laws, to uphold them or to evade them and within this we redefine our ideas about Morality as well, as a word that was specifically designed to keep the sheeples within the lines of accepted nonthreatening behavior, Morality is dishonest in a world where not everyone has Equal access to it, Morality is a luxury and as such unacceptable in an immoral world, we have work to do, a lot of work, up there those lost in the Mind don't have the tools and maybe the will to self correct, we owe it to Existence to Stand beyond anything that would prevent this message to spread, many of us will soon be involved with the Educational side of our Project, How Far are We willing to go to get this done?

Because the Mind will not stop in front of anything, we as The Mind won't stop our self interested existence because that is The Nature of Ourselves as The Mind, we have to re-parent our Minds into an existence of Harmony, into Equality and Oneness with the Physical and take on those who are too lost to even consider the common sense of a Solution that would work for all.

We have the tools, we have our points to walk, we have each other, do we have what it takes to bring about this change?

Bernard did, he took the Miss-Fits of society and created a group to stand beyond all Whethers and he would not stop, he would not be stopped by anything, he was willing to go the whole way, he gave up his Life so that All May be Life.

Now each one has got to ask themselves the question, can I stand, can I Self Honestly say I can stand or should I remove myself from this group, from the Time I am taking away from others that may make it because they will be more disciplined than what I am willing to be - and what does it mean to stand?

It's not the Destonian logo that shows anyone's stand, or the 'LIKE' on Facebook or sharing Bernard's words, nor the many years of involvement or the many blogs- if anything this should be a measure of ineffectiveness if after So many years one has not managed to change oneself?- but what are we willing to give up for Life.

Can we give up the Porn, the abuse, the self abuse, our self judgement, the judgement of others, our wavering walk, our desires to walk away from our commitments, our excuses to why we don't have time to participate, to self correct, to do our assignments, can we give up our preferences, likes and dislikes, can we stop the bullshit, our pettiness, so that nothing stands in the way of us making a clear decision that is always best for all, can we give up this Life for the life of All, what are WE willing to give up for Life?

Here stood and lived a man who gave it All up for Life, our Life, every Living Being's Life, we better match such a commitment with our own, Bernard did not die in Vain, he won't even have a funeral, or a gravestone to be reminded by, his ashes will be scattered back to the Earth, let's not allow ourselves to make him die invain.

Let's make ourselves Matter as we Stand up for Life - because if we don't, if we can't give up the Illusion for Life, really, we don't matter at all.

Related articles

• Day 327: I think, therefore I am Not Here yet.
• Day 335: The Joy and Freedom of Hating Desteni
• Day 458: Facts and Feelings: How to Stop and Prevent Brainwashing
• Day 324: Desteni Witness - The 'Scam' and Secret of Self Forgiveness

Day 261: You Can't understand Equal Money? You are So Predictable

When I first found Desteni I could understand less than half of what they were talking about.

This in itself intrigued me.

I could always work out pretty much everything that was explained to me in a logical predictable way because I had accumulated plenty parameters to walk from point A to B or C along predictable lines, so my inability to work out 100% of what they were talking about puzzled me, why would that be?

This was just about the 'normal' things they were trying to explain about the Mind, forget about Equal Money, of that I understood only that it would have been great at some level for the rest I was about 95% away from even getting how that would be possible.

I remember posting this on the Forums together with 'I don't know what is best for All', not that I would not have liked to know, I just couldn't compute how to see, realize and understand what was "best for all".

I was the product of a predictable education that would form -by in-forming me- into a specific person that would just get to live the niche reality that was carved out for me, I would take on my parents programming, then my school and my environment programming, my social programming just to end in one of those 2 predictable places, either to accept it all or to rebel to it all, if I look at this point today, given all the points that were programmed into and as me, predictably, I should have gone for rebellion. And I did.

I just took rebellion within the limited restricted space of movement allowed by my predictable programming, I went into the counterculture of drugs first, my drug of choice was marijuana, then into the predictable self destruct programs of my own family, then the predictable shame fuelled isolation and then the predictable "join the system" programming 'and make something out of yourself' - nothing was unpredictable or original about me no matter how I believed that I had a truly, remarkable unusual life, it was just 'unusual' enough to fulfill my idea of rebellion and then my idea of what a 'succesful life' is all about, basically make money and get a good life for yourself.

Predictably, when I embraced this part of my Life I would have to find supporters for my choices and equally predictably the support was there! The New Age movement and Law of Attraction afterward supported all my ego-tistical choices, because Life was just about ME and the rest was an illusion, everyone had chosen how to experience themselves on this earth and we had just to worry about ourselves, everything was good, All was Well within the Universe.

Predictably a lot of those movements were born and flourished in the past 20 years, it is no accident that this was the time when the gap between poor and rich widened to the max, at the time I had plenty of money to live a 5 star life, go to the best hotels, eat the best foods, buy the best things. I created this for myself, I remember sitting one day in a hotel in Bangkok and reading they were among the best 10 hotels in the world when a memory of myself as a kid in Venice popped up, I used to go door to door to the 5 star hotels to collect their brochures and dream about a day when I would be part of that world and not be part of the world of my mother, a world of hard work to save money that never allowed her to experience 'the best' of this world, that was her chosen reality - I believed and then confirmed through Law of Attraction-, I would choose another one for myself.

I sat in Bangkok in the hotel lobby waiting for my friend with a sense of both awe for my achievement and dismay at the same time. Now What?

From there I had another few years of jet setting life, predictably I was always after standards that would prove to me that I made it and that I no longer had to worry about money, because get this, the Money Worry was always there, it was just buried and suppressed, it had to be, predictably one that came from "Money Worries" could never let them go and it may even be the fuel that runs the super rich, the ones that try to shut up this Money Voice -specifically in the rag to riches stories- because even though they believe they outdid their 'Poverty' programming they are still Poor at heart. We All Are.

There is no amount of Money that can change that, our Poverty is the poverty of our Separation, we were One once, and now we are 1/7 billions %, PER CENT, it is for the cents that we are now predictably stuck in separation.

The Problem with Equal Money

Well, there is NO problem with Equal Money at all, the problem is how do we come to see, realize and understand that our programming is not set in stone, we just believe it to be, this should be in fact a point of CLEAR understanding for the New Agers since we believed that we can change Beliefs to Change the World, what we missed out is that it's not the beliefs abut the World we need to change, it is WHO we BeLieve to be, imagine this, each one believes to be someone specific, this came as the predictable programming of our lives, this is no news, nor should it come as a surprise, even in the Court of Law we take this argument to be true, we bring up the Past and Childhood experiences of people who committed terrible crimes to Prove that they Had No Other Choice, it was predictable.

Strangely enough we only reverse predict the life of crimes, it's like we are stuck on a timeline that can only see the Past, never the Future, if we were not, just taking the Middle East as an example, it would have been predictable that people who are abused for years through legitimized foreign policies one day would rebel and come up with some sort of resistance, it was even predictable that we would call them terrorist, because we are lame in taking responsibility for how the world is operating as we have separated in 7 billions plus the world, considering the world as an external event and not the direct consequence of our Collective Actions and as such, our Collective Responsibility

We can take another historic event, Germany after the first World War, the sanctions imposed by the Winners on Germany were so bad and restrictive that the Germans had nowhere to turn but to rebel, the ground was in fact prepared for someone like Hitler who could push the buttons of National Pride all the way into an imaginary Imperialist potential take over of the world, what would we have done in the same conditions?

Yet, when that happened in Europe nobody saw it coming -apparently- nor could they 'predict' that it would lead to another war.

Unless we want to consider the Private Interests of the bunch of People that do own the World at the moment that can make Money out of anything, War being a big part of the World Money Making Machine within our System of Abuse for Profit.

So, basically, the problem with Equal Money it's US, we are the problem that has no solution yet, we are the ones that cannot see that ONLY through Equality will we be able to mend the pieces of what we did to the whole as the One as ourselves and that Equality cannot be established through abuse and as such ALL ABUSES AGAINST EACH OTHER MUST END.

The Solution

I want to share my own experience of how I came to understand Equal Money. Many may not find a correlation between these two events, this is predictable, the parameters to take You from point A to point B of this are not yet in place.

This was My problem too, so I am aware that for those seeking a solution, they will have to do what we do when we go to watch movies, you have to Breathe to enter the 'Suspension of Belief', of the beliefs You Yourself hold about How to get from A to B, because unless you do that you will miss out on the Solution I am about to share.

So, when I went on the Forums and I said " I Can't understand Equal Money or "What is Best for All"' many supported me at the best of their ability for what they themselves had walked. 

One important point for those that see us as a Cult is to consider that we all hold our individual expression,  which is very Un-Cult like, so much so that I know where and from whom among us at the moment I can get words I can work with, this doesn't make any of us more or less valuable, we are all just walking a common path through our own timelines and prior experiences, hence the words of someone of my group may not reach me, not for any fault of any of us, it's just the way things are for now, but the words of someone else will, they'll push the penny to drop, so to speak. At that stage I could understand almost nothing from the people who had themselves walked some of this path back to Oneness and Equality, not even Bernard's words, whom I feared as well because his voice would shake me in places I didn't even know I had, so I cannot exactly recall where I saw this written out on our Forums but I know it was from Bernard "You can't understand Equal Money unless you have done Self Forgiveness'.

This was another huge point for me to overcome, the Self Forgiveness, because I have a Catholic imprinting that although I disowned still held me as some words into an emotional hijack-ment such as 'Forgiveness' , this word would successfully reverberate into me Guilt and Shame, I know it is cultural because I tested it in Italy and always got the same response from everyone, including my mother who has not given up God, but Forgiveness reeks of wrongdoings and faults and sins, things we want to have nothing to do with, even though our lives were sin-full in the sense that everything that was born out of the sin-chronic programming of separation of those that came before us -using "Chronos" from his Greek origin as 'Time", meaning built overtime and Sin, always from Greek as 'Missing the Mark', which would just mean we kept 'missing the mark again and again about Separation Not working as What is Best for All,  "please return to the highlighted route of Oneness and Equality', but we couldn't -or so believed- as we cemented the Programming of those that came before us and solidified the problems into layers that resulted into the physical Experience.

We must have believed we 'couldn't miss the mark' if we saw the Physical Undeniable Consequences of Our separation, but we Could, look at our World now, there isn't much farther to go and yet we still live in the Sin-Chron-I-City - Missing the Point of it All.

This was one thing I learnt at Desteni that I could almost immediately understand, The Charge of Words, how Words are loaded with The Past and are either positively or negatively charged as the Sum of how I have lived them and experienced myself through them, so Self Forgiveness in itself was a process -and still is- I have to push myself through, if you are hoping it will come natural you are in for a disappointment as your Mind, our separation Control HeadQuarter, knows that Giving Self Back to Self will be its undoing and you will resist it, and that is how it shall be, there will be no shortcut to Heaven this time, we'll have to want it so much to be willing to push through uncomfortability until Giving Self Back to Self as Self Forgiveness becomes part of Who we Are, so I can for sure say this process has become easier for me as I kept walking it and pushing through it.

Anyway, I started to write out Self Forgiveness statements, I had already applied some in speaking at the height of my attempt of crawling out of the pit of despair I had weaved myself into, and I had found a sense of 'relief' that was not 'mental' it was physical, like a burden was being undone.

So I kept going, I started to write about the World and what I saw that I could translate into Money and low and behold the surprise was staggering, anything I have ever done in my life has been Money driven, not only that, the whole world is a Big Money Driven Machine and this includes everything, check out Family relationships, friends relationships, Love, and don't see only the Money part, see the whole lot of it and Marvel at our Internal Debt and Credit system, see our Internal Value System and how we make some more valuable than others in our eyes, see our Internal Credit Rating, where we rate those that can give us more than others in terms of experiences or feelings and emotions and have not yet Failed Us and check the Rating drop when they do.

We exist AS The Monetary Banking System, there is no Way it's going to change Out There unless it Changes In Here first, so We are Both the Problem and The Solution - to see this point Self Forgiveness will be the key to unlock in Self Honesty how we have existed so far, from there as we delete our predictable programmed existence, we rewrite the Code of Conduct we are going to live by, then the Solution of Equal Money will unfold and What is Best for All won't be a Mystery anymore, as I can only NOT know what is best for You when I am separated from you, when I am no longer separated I can step in your shoes and see, realize and understand what is best for you as what would be best for me if I were living your life as me, as One.

The Reward

It is predictable that we seek a reward for our Change. 

This is what the New Age movements have capitalized on so far, these were the promised rewards 'live your best life, have everything you want, best relationships, more money, better living conditions for yourself and your family'.

Obviously not everyone can have All of these in a system where the economy doesn't support Equality, some must Not Have for some to Have, so the Hidden Secret of all those philosophies and its damn-ing downfall was 'just for me', because as this 'just for me' multiplied, we came to see even more greed as everyone embraced with a passion the 'Just for Me', focus on Me -as if we needed any more of THAT.

Ironically, all the things promised by All these movements that are making Money on Our Selfish Greed of the ME(an)ness of the Religion of Self, would be achievable within an Equal Money System.

Only in a system where the Value of ALL would be Equally recognized we will ever be able to Live our Best Life, and Everything We Want is Not What We Were Told We Want through advertising and Media, That is What Some Wanted US To Want so They Could Have Everything They Wanted, everything we really Want is to stop our Separation, to stop Wars and Violence, to live in a Safe, Trustworthy World, to end Famine and Poverty for All, to guarantee that All a the Whole can have a dignified, fulfilling life, all things that will be achieved by taking the Profit Motive out of Our Economic System and returning Economics to a system for the Management of the Earth Resources, it should have always been just that, and not an exercise in Futility and Mind Games some defend just because they spent Money and Time (=Money) on it.

The Best relationships? You can't imagine them, you must know this if you tried and failed, you have to Physically Create them, you have to put in the work to correct what it is in You that is not allowing a relationship to become what it could be at its Best, anyone telling you otherwise is offering you a False Reward based on your Desires, but within an Equal Money System, you will have the Peace of Mind that comes from being supported from Birth to Death for yourself and your Family, and making all your relationship into their Best Potential will be possible, you'll have the Time to put into them what you can learn from people who have been studying how we function and how we can correct what is not aligned to the best outcome for All.

And Money, you'll have that too, you won't have to chant, to pray, to visualize yourself rich, to speak a mantra 100 times a day, no offerings to God, MONEY as a Life resource will be just given to You and to everyone else, Equally, there will be no envy, no winner and losers, no cutthroat living to have more when everyone will have More than Enough and this is how we will bring Heaven to Earth for everyone forevermore.

Predictably, you may resist this information, we were programmed into Inequality and then self perpetuated this Programming into Who We have Become, yet you may start to see that in Common Sense there is No Reason to do so because nothing outlined here is to Fear, hence any reason you have AGAINST a system that would work for All, which includes You, is part of your Programming which you have to let go, give yourself back to yourself so you may see You as the Solution to this World, this is why we Self For Give, we are not a crazy fanatic movement of people who believe they will go to Hell if they don't Self Forgive, NO, We have been to Hell, we are still in Hell All Together, we are getting ourselves out of it through Self Forgiveness, no one deserves this World unless we insist on it for others and then we have to Equally share what we decide to give (Remember the Give and you shall receive -works both ways...), but we'll either get out of it All Together or we'll stay in Hell together hoping and dreaming to make it out on Our Own and that is Real Hell, no one can make it out of here alone, and even if some BeLieve they 'made it' through the Money they own, they are still in Hell in our Separation, we are the 1/7billion per cent of ourselves, of what We Could Be, what a loss, when we could have been Whole as All-One and not the Hole that can never be filled that we designed ourselves into. 

Walk yourself back to Life, for YourSelf and All of Existence Equal and One.

Life is waiting for All to catch on, you have Life's vote till your Last Breath, make it Count.

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