Friday, June 8, 2012

Day 56: Self Blame vs Self Responsibility

So this interesting point that I fear Self responsibility came up trough investigating why I had resistances to the Atlanteans' series , The Money series and Heaven's Blogs and the thread was common, it was the Fear of Self Blame, I feared that if I learned about our origins and how we came about I would Blame myself to such an extent that I would end up crushed and unable to recover.
But what is there to crush if I have not existed yet, just my ideas and beliefs about myself and humanity as a whole, the ideas that there was a Higher Purpose to being Here, that we were on our way to Higher Frequencies, Higher Dimensions, we were on the verge to shifting it all around, just through our wishful thinking, visualizing, being positive, focus on the good, all the while missing out the Polarity point, that whatever I embed in my body and then create it will have to be balanced out, somewhere out there, remotely away from me as I got the prizes of my positive 'Alignments' and someone got the shit of My own Polarity Play to play out, is this how we are creating Famine and Poverty ? By keeping pulling on the Polarity blanket in the 'Me Me Me' game, not considering that 'something is got to give' and since we have NOT been the ones for-giving someone somewhere is just not getting even enough to Live. 
We have manifested the consequences of our Greed into the Physical World so we will be forced to face what it is that really happens when we create from the starting point of separation and self interest and not from the starting point of What is Best for All, as One Organism, One Life, connected in all ways at levels we have not yet seen or understood on our Energy Merry Go Rounds.
Yet the point is that I con-fuse Blame and Self responsibility, because no matter how many times people have used the word responsibility in my Life toward me or something I did as a kid, or when I then started to use it 'against' others, what I really meant was Blame/ Fault, Responsibility was the nice cover up, the socially accepted way to say and see whose Fault was it ? Whose to Blame ?
Within the Blame game we learn fast that who is Faulty and Blameful, is losing, we don't get what is it exactly that we are losing and so we seek for answers to why, once we believe we are invested by Blame, we feel diminished, we don't see early in Life that it is an Energy Game we are all participating in and as, it is The game of Superiority and Inferiority that we engage i and as, and we have agreed that the ones who get to be Blamed are worth Less than the ones who are Blame Free.
So soon in Life we walk into the Blame Game trying to learn the skills to Blame another, so we can walk away feeling less damaged, less violated, missing the point that there is only One of us Here, and whatever we do within and as Energy, someone will be diminished and violated and that is Self.
I had support from One of the Money Interviews on this point, funny because this were the interviews I resisted the most, still struggling to accept what we have reduced ourselves to as Humanity I was 'put off' by the first interview, I felt diminished and wanted to Blame it on The Interviews, instead of seeing that is the point of Blame and Self Judgement that I roll myself in that diminishes me, because I have yet not cleared to myself and defined what is the difference between Blame/Self Blame and Self Responsibility.
I found this nice picture and it helped me to see things for what they are, we The People, All Together, have flooded the world with Energy Games, diminishing each other in fear of not being worthy, stealing our 'perceived' value from each other in separation from each other as existence as a whole, covering up our suffering while We Lied Our Way Through Life and within this we built a mockery of a World, where Life as Us All, suffers and is neglected, yet there is No Blame, as Blame is just another Energy Game, there is only the Call of Life to Self Responsibility to Stand Up and Stop all insanities, accepting that we are all Equally responsible, as the drops of a flood, for Having Manifested this world as the Outflow and Consequence of our Abdication of Responsibility to Energy vs Life, hoping to be More, while failing to see we were All of It already, All There Is, and it was only our Belief that we were Not Enough that led to the Manifested Consequences we are now walking.
We are not the Creators of this World, not yet, for now we are just the Abdicators, having abdicated our Right to Life for the Madness of Energy while we diminished ourselves into Nothingness and Uselessness, separating ourselves from this existence and everything in it, and from this hole we have to come back, to equalize ourselves with what was created while we were missing in action, getting back to our point of Power and from there sit at the steering wheel of this world, together, to make a drastic U turn, a return to Oneness and Equality and What is Best for All, and stop this senseless existence to birth ourselves as Life into the Physical, leaving behind forever our Desires and Delusions that we could be more than another, in the Mirror World of Self.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being Blamed and being found/judged as Faulty, perceiving myself diminishing when someone said 'you are wrong, it's your fault, face your responsibility as in Blame'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that when someone blamed me it was them making me feel diminished instead of seeing and realizing that it was me blaming myself that made me feel diminished through my participation in the energy game of inferiority and superiority where the blame-less are more valuable than the blame-full

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the world responsibility having associated the word responsibility to Blame and the diminishment of myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear becoming self responsible in fear that I am the one to blame/faulty and thus diminishing myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame others so I would not have to feel diminished in the game that I myself alone played within and as The Mind, in the allocation of Blame as a tool to take energy/value from another

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that 'there is always someone to blame and it's always someone's fault/responsibility' because by holding on to this belief I have accepted and allowed myself to seek for the faults in another so I could blame them and not face my own self blame

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame myself throughout my life when I did not meet a standard that was set by others first and then by myself about what I should have said, who I should have been and what I should have done, instead of living Here in Breath as self honesty and self responsibility, correcting myself if I made a miss-take instead of looking for someone else to Blame

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear self responsibility after a miss-take because that meant that I should stand as self correction while I had embraced the blaming game as a way to avoid facing self responsibility and having to change myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the responsibility of this creation, instead of seeing and realizing that it's only within taking responsibility as in response-ability that I can equalize myself to what has been, until I can walk Here aware of every movement of myself and it's outflows and consequences on Creation that must always be for Life as What is Best for All

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel irritated when I read other's blog where responsibility for things we know nothing about is taken and within this move into judgements that it's an overkill , a way to show off the willingness of being responsible for the unknown, instead of seeing we are all here and there is no other way out but to equalize ourselves to everything as the manifested outflows and consequences of our abdication of life for energy, before we can change something as Equals to it, or we won't have access to it and to change it

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from reality to a point where I cannot yet remember or see my direct participation in the manifested consequences and outflows of this existence and that I won't be able to see clearly until I accept and allow myself to equalize to everything that I have created first as My Mind and then walk out of my mind into nothingness ad into the Physical to rewrite myself as a CoCreator of this existence in Equality and Oneness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to support and endorse for years the teachings of LOA and Abraham Hicks, that teach that I Create my Own reality, yet even within this knowledge I failed to take responsibility for the whole I created, deluding myself that I was the one creating the positive and the good and someone else was creating the ugly and the evil, denying what I existed in and as, as both the Darkness and the Light, dismissing the Darkness as something that belonged to someone else, refusing to accept my participation in this creation of polarity as both the Light and Darkness of it

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Shameful and Guilty in connection with the sentence 'you must face your responsibility' and for using the same sentence on others with the purpose of generating the same feelings of shame and guilt that I experienced when I heard this phrase

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress the feelings of guilt and shame in connection with the word responsibility, hoping that the longer I walked my Process the more used I would become to it, instead of seeing and realizing that not having cleared my starting point on the word "responsibility", I just kept compounding the guilt and the shame until I reached a point in which I was no longer willing to even hear the word 'responsibility' and reacted in automatic every time someone raised this word with a sense of irritation, justifying myself that it was about them, all of them that kept pushing this word on me, it was their fault and that they were not seeing that they should approach me in a different way, instead of taking responsibility for the feelings that were going on inside of me and clear them up so I could stand clear in and as self responsibility and no longer in self blame/fault

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that the people around me that were using this word were supporting me in letting go of my own self limitations of self judgement and emotions and feelings and that it was nothing personal and that it was NOT used as a way to make me faulty, guilty and shameful as I have used this word against others and myself but just to support me to see that there is no freedom but in self responsibility, where I accept that every movement inside of me is showing me a point of judgement through which I have separated myself from Self as Life and everything that exists

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that I have not created this existence as I originally believed, meaning I planned it and designed it and manifested it and that this was one of the delusions of grandeur of the LOA and my belief that I was a Creator, instead of seeing I cannot have created this existence and have no clue how it all came about, I have created this existence participating with everyone else in the abdication of Life for Energy and within this point of abdication of my responsibility for this Creation I have abdicated my ability to design and manifest what is best for all in separation of myself from Life and that now I am walking backward from Energy into Awareness, so I can start to stand with others equally self willed and start from nothingness to realign to What is Best for All as Life One and Equal

I forgive myself for failing to see that I feared responsibility because I feared seeing that there is no one Greater than me that will come and save the day, but it is me as Self, as Self responsibility that will have to correct what was created out of my abdication of Life and it will have to be done Breath by Breath until All is Equal and One and there will be Heaven on Earth for All Equally

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fail to see that it is only in Self responsibility for One as All as Equal and a World that is Best for All that the power to change exists as this creation is the manifested outflow and consequence of our separation and collective lack of responsibility to stand in Oneness and Equality and What is Best for ALL to manifest the Change of ourself and the World as a Mirror, that is required

I commit myself to embrace my Self responsibility for myself and existence Equal and One and to walk my correction into manifestation, standing for myself as Life and What is Best for All until we stand together as the New Directive principle for this World and What is Best for All One and Equal to Us and everything that exists.

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