Day 405: The Perception of a Worth-Less Life and Regrets

Some days I feel this gloominess about living a life that makes no sense - for sure in my mind I must be comparing it with 'a life that makes sense' and finding that I am way short from that.

A life that makes sense in this system is a life where I can feel free to move as I please, make plans, have choices and not just have enough to barely survive on every month, so this perception is surely Money related, it's the feeling of being paralyzed and frozen in a time warp where I can only live out the consequences of my poor choices, for many of which I live in a state of regret.

This was clear to me yesterday when I saw a post from a far away friend that brought up, again, the life I used to live with this life that I perceive as worthless, which in money terms it is, it is worth-less, I have less money circulating and hence much of my time, reasoning, conversations are about money. I put a price on everything I do or don't do, this of course leaves me with a sense of worth-less-ness and all because of money. Sad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that our worth is money defined and for rejoicing in the perception of a 'worthy' life when I had a lot of money, creating for myself the future perception of a worthless life to live out

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that being responsible about my life means living in the regret of the poor choices I have made because this is how 'I face consequences', creating regret to prove to myself I would not make the same choices again, if I had the chance

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not want to let go of this regret because if I did I would be irresponsible and when my mother would bring up 'en passant' the poor choices I have made when I had money, I would have to feel irritated instead of agreeing through keeping alive the regret for what I have done with money when I had it

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that living in regret shows that I have changed, instead of seeing realizing and understanding that changing would mean let go of my past so I can create something new, that cannot come through regret

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to value myself and others based on the money they can turn over, having accepted and allowed myself to believe that if you are intelligent and educated you will make money in the system, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that this is not always so and that I made the decision to walk out of the system to prove the point that I could manifest money out of thin air and, when I could not, I felt cheated and stupid for ever having believed such nonsense as the Law of Attraction

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be moved by anything that brings up images, memories, thoughts, emotions and feelings about the life I used to live as I immediately compare it with the life I live now, until I feel worth-less and unhappy about myself and my life

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I made decisions based on what I understood at the time when I walked away from the system and that I have to stop the self judgements, blame and self hatred for what I have done and the self judgement of having been a dope because unless I let go I can not free myself to start living this life I live now, while I wait and hope to get back to the life I used to live back then

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that Money is what gives worth to life, without seeing realizing and understanding that if I don't correct this stance within me I am one point of support for this system that puts money before Life, because I myself put money before Life

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to beat myself up about having given up the opportunity of a lifetime to follow some crap belief system and within this I forgive myself for not having taken the time to let go of this point not even when I saw that money had become an obsession in my mind due to how I had linked mine and others' worth to money and then attempting to get back my worth and my life's worth through money without succeding at it

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to worry about money all the time because worry is one way I have understood as 'caring about something or somebody' and if I worry about it all the time I prove that I am concerned about being now responsible and caring about my financial situation, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that an obsession about money is the result of the relationship I have created to it, having attached my worth and my life's worth to this 'idea' and that I can correct this relationship to free myself regardless of how much money I have at all times

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel concerned about my relationship and the point that my partner has not been able to contribute equally due to the financial situation of my country and of many people around the world and for not seeing, realizing and understanding that I am applying to my partner as a measure of his 'value/worth' the number as money that he is able to turn around in a month, diminishing him as a being through the eyes of my money personality and within this for always putting a price tag on everything I do for him, with him feeling that I am building up credits for which 'he will have to do something' to get even

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be disappointed in myself because I have written about the money point within my relationship and for expecting that I would just magically change, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that the money personality is one of our main personality system and I will have to walk these changes into the physical, until I become the script I have written out for myself regarding this point

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel less worthy since my friendship with my 'best friend' ended due to how I mishandled a situation between the two of us and due to having invested some of my 'worth' into the reflection of myself within our relationship, when this relationship ended I felt less, less worthy, less protected from what could happen to me, less sheltered by hers and her husband wealth and within this for feeling like a 'loser' because of what I lost when this relationship came to an end

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that my friendship with my 'ex best friend' was based on projecting back to each other exactly the personalities we wished to be known as and that what I lost with the end of our relationship is a 'perception of myself', a mask of myself, a cover up and the possibility to hide the truth of myself behind the image of me that I could see through the eyes of another, a favour I dutifully returned making our friendship never true, never real but just an engagement of personality systems that could not last beyond the threat of having to give up our self created images for one another

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to miss my ex best friend and her presence in my life, without seeing, realizing and understanding that what I miss is that feedback that stated that there was nothing wrong with me, that I was just an original, peculiar person and not the mind system I feared I was and did not know how to change into something real

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I always wanted 'a best friend' in my life in the hope that I could trust someone because I did not trust myself and that what I really miss is an intimate relationship of acceptance with myself, where I can accept who I have become as I walk to change what I can see needs to be corrected and realigned to what is best for all, for myself and all of existence, equal and one

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not take full responsibility for why this relationship ended, attempting to make my friend the reason and the one to blame instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that the reason why I found it impossible to keep that friendship going when she became close to my ex husband was that I feared what my ex husband would expose about me things that I did not share with her because those 'events' in my relationship did not match the personality system through which we operated and that I was the first one getting close to her husband and doing to her what I feared she may do to me and within this for trying to blame her for what she said about what she learned about me instead of using that moment as an opportunity to walk beyond my personality system and become more intimate with her and with myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not want to forgive myself regarding my ex best friend because when I don't forgive myself I am 'principled' and better than those that do forgive themselves and within this for withholding this forgiveness as a way to feel good about what I have done instead of letting go of the need to feel good about something I feel ashamed about so I can deal with the shame and get over it once and for all

When and as I see myself wanting to entertain some memories, thoughts, feelings and emotions in relation to my 'past life', I stop, breathe, do not allow myself to participate because I am aware that it's just an attempt to self sabotage myself into a state of worthlessness, instead I busy myself physically and breathe myself back to stability

When and as I see myself wanting to put a price on something, wanting to talk about money when it's not contextual to the moment I am living I stop, breathe and let go of the perceived 'need to put a price on everything

When and as I see myself looking back with regret at my relationship with my ex best friend, I stop, breathe, remind myself that I can't change what I have done but I can change who I am and what I stand for and as, to no longer create such consequences in my life such as shame and regret

I commit myself to bring back the pieces of worth that I have invested outside of myself and to return worth to myself as Life and not as Money or my ability to spend or my ability to have a best friend as I see, realize and understand that my worth is in me as Life and I can bring back all my divested worth until I can stand one and equal to the word Worth Equal and One with My self

Related articles

• 259: Forgiving the Search for Self Worth
• Day 373: Letting Hong Kong go
• Day 104: Cheap/Worthy Self Forgiveness and Self Commitment
• 256: My Self Worth
• Day 170: The (De)Grading of Children - Teacher Character

Day 347: Entering the World System - Who is Your Daddy Now? Money!

This is a follow up to my postsParenthood and Corporal Punishment - Scarring/Scaring  Tin Soldiers to DeathParenthood and Corporal Punishment - Scarring/Scaring 

I am walking backward my own timeline to see how did I accept and allow Money to become the power that it is in my life, what decides if I can move or not, if I am Free or not, if I have choices or not and specifically how I understood at a very early age that it is Money that makes the world go round, that makes people jump out of their chairs and do something, it is Money that allows us the Freedom to move on from our families, to enter the world and finally rid ourselves of their -unwelcome- oppressive presence.

Of course no one wants to be honest about it, we don't like to take on the Family topic because we feel like traitors, exposing the truth of what really went on in our families as we grew up to make sure we would bow to the System and the Money God and embrace it for life.

Everytime we raise the topic of Money some smarty panty will post comments like 'Money is Not All' 'You can't buy happiness with money', 'Love is All there is' or, my favorite, 'poor people are much happier than those with money'.

In theory we should not even honor the debate, because anyone who has the Freedom to make such comments on internet, using a keyboard and a connection line powered by electricity, has got money, more money than close to 3 billion people on this planet of which we are not ashamed to not give a fuck about -even when we preach that 'Love is All there is', which should definitely make us question ourselves and reality but thanks god we always have an Ace up our Sleeve so we created Positive Thinking to never acknowledged the fact that this World is a fundamentally Survival based Negative Place -because That is a Scary Thought.

I know All about Positive Thinking, I lived it, preached it, pushed the Negative People away because I feared being contaminated by Their Negativity, I went all the Positive Way just to find out that there is no way to resolve the 'negative' lack filled side of this world' unless we do something about it, unless we draw a line just so we can hang on to the bits of humanity left in us and stand to change ourselves and the world as One.

When I lived with my Family, in more than one occasion I felt like a Circus Monkey, jumping through hoops for the promise of some material reward, that's right, children apparently are unable to understand why they should not hit each other with a stick or try to scoop out someone's eyes with a fork, they are Stoopid, that's why parents set in place their reward and punishment system at an early age, to teach them 'right from wrong', never allowing children to understand that to every action there is a consequence, because the sequence is confused in the child's mind by some parental sequins, either a bling bling reward or a punishment that can be physical or just removing something the child enjoys.

I am ashamed to say that when one of my friend pointed out the disfunctional way we use 'consequences' to teach children a lesson, I could not see what was wrong with that, the example she stated was 'if you paint on the wall you will not eat cake', yeah I said, what's wrong with that?

So it is at my mature age of close to 50 that I have to realize this point, that I was never taught consequences per se, I was only taught 'punishment' which turned out to be very impractical because I had to learn the con-sequences of everything I did by Living It instead and it was way more painful than if someone had shown to me that consequences are infact mathematical equation measurable on a timeline including all the parts that are involved within an interaction.

What children are given then is Punishment while they are deprived of their natural ability to learn a common sensical approach to Life, where if we were taught just to 'never do onto another what we do not want to done to us' and to 'give as we would like to receive', we would grow to be the Creators of a world that works For All, and not this abomination where close to half of the world lives unimaginable lives of poverty and distress.

Parents are the promoter of a 'positive thinking' lifeStyle, because we are bred within only negative emotions due to punishment vs a common sense approach to life, to the requests for Monkey Hoops Jumping that turn us out into mental cases and so as we try to deny that we hate our families for the most part, we fall head over hills with Positive Thinking, with the idea that we can attract Better Feeling Places for ourselves than those where we lived as we grew up and so we walk the teachings, remembering well that it was Money and Fear- that moved us throughout childhood and as we grow up, we take these tools into the world and bestow them on everyone we meet, we use emotions and feelings to enslave partners and friends -because it works!- and we use Money to enslave others into an Equation of Inequality, where the only point we shoot for is to have enough to no longer have to endure the Monkey jumping numbers, hoping to be able to buy the Dignity that we define associated to Money and not to giving to each one of us on this planet, our Family, what belongs to all, so that we may have it all too, dignity, self respect, truly honorable lives, nope, we take mum and dad's teachings, their sequins, the Fear wand and we venture out to do the same damage that was done onto us, because we can IF we get our hands on enough Money, they could and instead of granting to all the Freedom to exist, we perpetrate our own enslavement, we turn life into a product, a style, something we can buy for ourselves and of course we attempt to increase our Buffer between ourselves and reality through Money, because we know that at the bottom of this idiotic system of duality where most have to lose for some to win, lies the desperation of many that we are not willing to join and from which we separate in our minds, where we make up alternate realities where All is Well and we are willing to take those lies all the way into the words we speak and state that 'Love is All You Need', when we do know that we have never made a Love transaction to take us anywhere but further into our delusion, we know that we pay the rent, the food, our transportation with Money but we like to look at the poor that smile and believe they are happier than us, there you go, they can keep the happiness, I will make do with the Money.

We can create a world that works for All by recognizing we have been fooling ourselves -and others- with the Love and Positive Crap, we can give back to ourselves our ill placed investments, get back in One piece/peace vs the Multiple Disordered personalities that we have become and in one breath affirm our commitment to Life, stop the enslavament of Each other for Money and Good Feeling Experiences, delve into what the world has become beyond polarities, it is what it is, if we hold one single judgement we'll keep turning away to not face what we have in fact accepted and allowed, instead we move together, one breath at the time, work our way back from our Shame into reality and then embrace it, the good, the bad the ugly, so we can see what needs to be done, and do it, and within that bring Heaven to Earth for everyone, once and for all.

A different world is possible, walk self honestly in the shoes of the destitutes of this world and see if you would really like their 'happy' lives, if you would like to have to sell your body to eat or to get a shelter, or if you would lik to be a slave in a diamond mine to survive or be jailed for no reason to fatten up the private jail system of rich countries, look around, see how many lives would be unliveable for you and then consider why is it normal that we allow in existence a system that manufactures such lives as an outflow of what has to be done to guarantee and safeguard the spots on top of the pyramid and then consider how to remove yourself from such pyramid that stay up thanks to our energy/money submittance and how each brick of this system can self direct to remove themselves as a point of support of what exists, to recreate a system that works for All, become part of the solution, it's simple mathematics, 1+1, united, we can create the world we would like to leave behind.

Join us.

Related articles

• Day 332: The Lies of Positive Thinking and Law of Attraction
• Day 449: The Greatest Secret to Wealth
• Day 330: Inflated Egos, Deflate Reality.
• Day 302: Why Is Life not a Human Right?
• Day 345: Parenthood - Slaves cloning Slaves
• Day 346: Parenthood and Corporal Punishment - Scarring/Scaring Tin Soldiers to Death

Day 305: Life - A Title on the Stock Market

It is hard to imagine Lives getting better for All.

We resist the idea of a system that would support everyone Equally, regardless of their gender, culture, education or starting personal wealth. It is unheard of in fact.

This is why my mum perceived herself somehow as unwillingly dragged into the idea of Equal Money, not because she would not like everyone's lives getting better, she just fears hers getting worse. 

It is the logical consequence of having accepted a system of winners and losers, we hears the sayings 'some win some lose', we know that 'you can't always win', that 'winner takes all', we under-stand the idea that not everyone can have it good, we have become this idea in the flesh.

So, the winners, those who somehow managed to get access to a dignified life, including those who barely made it there, fear that having everyone's life improve would mean that something 'has got to give', that We might have to give something up of what we managed to store away through a life of sacrifices within a model of  Mutually Agreed Abuse.

In a way, as sad as it is to bcome aware of it, we don't want others out of the Rat Race, we want to stay Equally Rats or Slaves, even when a chance to buy back our freedom by granting to all others a dignified life presents itself, we have to battle with our internal psycopath that states that 'since I had it hard to earn what I have, now I am worth More than those who didn't', we fail to see that what we are actually doing is to glorify the abuse we had to endure to justify why we accepted and allowed it to just then pass it on.

One interesting discussion took place with my mum, as she stood for her right to a dignified life, she found logical to insist that those who did not endure what she had to endure to earn her same dignified life and, for example, wasted their wealth at the beach -that would be me on my Law of Attraction delusional trips by the way- should not be granted her same rights, it was interesting to see how we go about manipulating the words we use to make them sound right(eous), common sensical, because it's OBVIOUS that those that have not slaved should not be granted a Life, as not have access to Money, which has become the entrance key to the Pantry of the Earth resources such as food and water, electricity as heating, healthcare as being able to take care of one's body -is in fact a condemnation to Death, a real Death Sentence, we have Mind Dichotomies in which some can't imagine Abortion or Death Penalty but we can gingerly go about saying that not everyone has the same right to Live, to Life because granting that to all would diminish Me, my efforts, my precious accepted Slavery and this is not conceivable or computable and therefore we will not take a chance to see the possibilities of a New World, we won't allow ourselves to consider being diminished or belittled in this Casino of an Existence, we are treating Life like a Title on the Stock market, the more Titles are put on the market, the less value MY 'dignified life' has and as such, I rather have some starve and die than give up my exclusivity, not forgetting that 'I earned what I have', meaning I did accept my Economic Slavery and By God, you'll accept Yours, you won't get away with it!

SO, let's ask each other this simple question 'do we think that there is anyone in the world that doesn't deserve the right to live?', then a blip of 'cannot compute' goes off, because no one in their right mind would want to be the kind of person that says such a thing and in that moment we become aware at some level that we are holding conflicting beliefs about what is The Right to Life in a world that can't guarantee a job for all and refuses to give a basic income to live to all, just because we don't want to push beyond our imaginary Mind limitations and expand ourselves and, with that, all others to a new way to live together in Harmony and Peace.

Maybe something that can help us walk through this point is the recognition of our Slavery, yes it sucks to see how we have fooled ourselves about being Free, if we could see for real how we are all indebted to ourselves, to each other and then to this system, we would consider solutions to break free, we would consider that those that are not in a position to access the money system have not all been on the beach like me for some time, some have slaved without a pay, some don't even know that there could be another way to live and so this task falls on those who have the ability to see that there is no reason to chain others to the same chains we endured, we can All Break Free Together, redesign a system that works for all, that considers that nothing can be excluded from Life as that would exclude us from it and push ourselves to learn what it would mean to give to others what we would like for ourselves vs forcing others within the same slave system we endured and sacrificed for.

A lot of for-giveness is thus required, to for-give to everyone, including ourselves, to for-give back to ourselves our sorry lives and as we forgive what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to live, others won't have to live it too and yes, some who find themselves at the end of their Life cycle might resist the idea because there may be no chance that we will see this new system through, but if we want change just so we can benefit from it, it's not the Change that is required. The required Change is to will in place a Global change for all regardless of how 'I' may benefit from it and that will be the key to Life, as we grant to others Life, so we shall be Life too and our pasts will be for-given and on their ruins we will build a New World to be done with Slavery forever to never, ever, look back.

EqualMoney: the Life we said we dreamed about, available to All, no one excluded.

Related articles

• Day 334: Is Retirement The Same As A Slave Purchasing Their Freedom?
• Horror of slaves in 2013 - Day 353
• A More Perfected Form of Slavery - Day 381
• 365. Labor is a Human Right |Equal Money
• Day 296 - Equal Life Foundation Mission and Bill of Rights
• Day 221: Are Humans Equal? - Equality and Human Rights - Part 2
• Day 345: The Secrets of Slaves
• Day 374: Universal Secrets of Automation as Keys for Success

Day 151: The Biggest Missing Piece - A Reply to Abraham Hicks

I followed Abraham's teachings for over 10 years, I bought all the videos, books and tapes available and brainwashed myself with them, literally.

I had to make a few changes in my life to keep up with Positive Thinking, for example I would not allow negative thinkers around me and would blame them for 'bringing the tone of the positive' down, so to speak, like in mathematics, if you have positive numbers to which you add negative numbers, the positive numbers decrease, so if I was a +10 and my friends a -7 and I ended up being a +3, it was obviously Their Fault.

I went to a few events as well, Houston & San Antonio Texas, a venue I believed I manifested in perfect synchronicity with one of my husband unplanned business trips, during which we had a terrible fight and he boarded a plane to return home a few days before Abraham's meeting.

During his flight back home he lost his luggage where his treasured toothbrush was, since he was particular about brushing his teeth I could imagine the stress with a certain pleasure, there you go dear, see what negative thinking does to you. When you are a Positive thinker it's cool to look down at the miseries of the negative thinkers 'thinking' that they are doing that to themselves, boyohboy, when will they ever learn.

It was an easy ship to board, and I can call it a ship with reason, I joined their cruise program to Mexico on this Positive Wave/The Secret craze.

Then I decided that since this was my daily bread I should take it as far as I could, go on a deserted island and manifest money out of nothing to prove that it worked and then teach others how to do it.

It actually Did Not work, I spent all my Money in 4 years and while I pushed and strived to stay positive reality took a while to sink in, I saw as well, just recently how those Teachings diminished me, as I believed basically that my hard work in the physical real world was worth nothing and that making money was the resut not of having consistently aligned myself to the system and having worked my ass off, but simply of me being good at manifesting, at positive thinking, I scuffed my physical life and my physical participation for my Mind bullshit.

The landing was not an easy one, considering that I went from positive thinking to the realization 'there is something terribly wrong with this world' first and then to Desteni, which would have been for me living on "charges' just about as polarized as one could get into a lifetime, Desteni being on the extreme 'negative' polarity of the spectrum, otherwise called 'in touch with reality' I thought that I would not survive the stretch either, that I would snap in half and that would be the end of me.

It's been over a year since I started walking with Desteni and applying their tools, two days ago I watched Abraham again, in a video called 'The Biggest Missing Piece' I used to really always get a kick out of the channelings and discount everything I saw when someone opposed the teachings as 'them, not getting it', this time this is what I noticed:

A man exposed very clearly his distress about The World and what is going on, which would equate phase 2 of my life, he is still lacking phase 3, Desteni, because he has not yet heard about us, maybe our messages will reach him this way. Basically he woke up to the shithole of this existence and was not taking any positive chit chat for an answer

Things Abraham did that I did not notice before: 

sympathized with the man, told him 'yes you are right we are not denying what you are saying, horrific things are indeed going on everywhere', the 'WE' hit me for the first time, because 'WE' means there is more of 'Us' than 'Yous' -and they always said there are more than 100 entities channeling through One voice as Abraham-, and 'We' is usually granted to Royalty that speak as 'We', for the same reason, because more of us means more than One of You, in case you didn't get the superiority point through the "Channeling Act" or 'the Royalty title" itself.

The apparent equalizing was another way to level the play field but the 'WE' staid so there could be no real leveling or equalizing for real.

The man went on exposing in a very articulate manner what he saw in the world and how disgusted he was by it all, the cameras took in the people in the background, a typical channeling bunch, of lifeless uncomfortable lot that didn't know how to respond, some sneered, because after all they were paying money for the 'good feeling' and like me with my friends they wanted no 'party pooper' around that brought in reality into the equation as the effort to float above reality takes some consistency, being reality everywhere and hard to avoid.

Through an absolute unrelated gimmick he was taken on a Death trip to Heaven, to remind him that there is death if all else fail, be patient, and then on a closing that was rushed into 'your choice my man, I have a really good story here that gives you joy but you want to insist on reality? - Let's be clear that I have not failed you, the story stands, it's YOU no longer willing to believe it hei- remember where to place the blame when you'll review our little chat."

Here some of the replies from us as a Group

The BIGGEST Missing Piece - Response to Abraham Hicks - by Bernard

The Missing Piece - a Video response to Abraham Hicks, by Andrea 

The Biggest Missing Piece -- Video Response to Abraham Hicks - by Maya

The Biggest Missing Piece - Abraham Hicks, by Marlen 

It was painful to watch, the point is, is it true that 'We can't handle The truth'? Is the fear of the Truth of this existence and ourselves that is making us seek the unbelievable ad then make us beLieve it, what if we woke up to the state of this world to do what is required to create a Life that is Best for All?

Wouldn't that be what we say we want, so what are we waiting for looking for obvious Mind games vs reality, because get this, Reality is Not going away just because we don't focus on it, Reality is Here to stay, how else could we face what went wrong with our Creation and make an existential correction that starts with Each One of us?

There is the question to ask about Why we believe the stories told by The Positive Thinking Teachers and if we can become self honest about it we can say, because we mainly deal with negative thoughts and emotions as the experience of ourselves that we cannot explain or make sense of, we spend the first years of our lives trying to find reasons and meaning to both this Creation, for which we have no clear memories telling us how the fuck did we get here and why, and the mechanics of how we experience ourselves, one of the main oppositions we find to the Desteni Message is people fearing to leave behind 'emotions and feelings' and yet we looked for so long to make sense of them, which is the point where Abraham fits in neatly, when you say, "emotions and feelings are your guidance system", everything seems to make sense, there you go, we are on a Treasure Hunt and they forgot to tell us how to move around, got it, follow the good feelings back Home. Pity it was and is all just a big fat (expensive) Lie.

Check out #EqualMoney for a solution that will change Reality for All in reality and not in our dis-eased Minds seeking for solace in a world that truly doesn't make sense.

I have done lots of Sf for my involvement with LOA, I will apply SF for/as Esther's Role in this Character Creation

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not question an entity that told me that all is well in this world when it was clear that it is not

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create an alter ego as a Sub Personality that takes over as 'Chaneling' that says things I can not take responsibility for because 'I am not there'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not question the point of the Economics/Monetary System in this world as a source of suffering because Abraham said that we each chose our Life experience even though I would not have chosen a life of misery, war, starvation, murder or rape for myself

I forgive myself for accepting and alowing myself to let go of mine and Jerry's Common Sense about wanting to know about the Whys of the "Wrongs of the World" and for accepting and allowing an entity whose purpose we didn't question because the message 'felt good' to con-vince us that 'that was not out work' as that we didn't have to take responsibility for this world as Our Creation, as One

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that we deserved to stay at the Westin and have the best food and the best life while others did not because I justified the existence of suffering as having  made the "wrong/different choice" up in heaven before they reincarnated that resulted in a shitty life that no one could possibly wish for themselves

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not question Death and the anomaly of it in a world of Joy, not even when my lifelong partner crossed over and I was devastated by grief because I have to stick to my story that Death is Fun and we just 'don't get it'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide that my partner Jerry had cancer for many months because we could not come up with a good explanation about the fact that we each choose how to exit the physical and yet Jerry was sick and in pain for months having to go through Chemotherapy like everyone else that is Cancer striken in the world

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lie about the sickness of Jerry attributing it first to a spider bite that magically turned into leukemia and for lying about seeking treatment with stem cells in South Korea, because this would have made us 'normal people' trying everything to stay alive haveing a dreadful Fear of Death, and not the Joyful Deliberate Creators that looked forward to the transition into the non -physical through the fun experience of 'croaking'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if I become a Beacon of Joy through having All My desires fulfilled, then this will create opportunities for the world at large to align to well being, even though I have been telling the same story consistently for over 20 years and the world has become worse and yet I did not bother to have a Reality Check because My Reality worked out just fine

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see the consequences of a message that glorifies Death in a sick and sickening world, where we made Death look so glamourous that people may believe it is a cool way out, such as Karen, the lady that suffered from grave depression and ended up committing suicide after which we deleted her from the Forums because it gives the wrong impression of the joyful croaking transition into non physical - and maybe of our responsibility in it as she took our words about Death being so cool that she could not wait to experience it-

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not really Hear what the Distressed man brought to the table which could have been my chance to question The Truth of this Mess-Age I am spreading for over 20 years, because I was too busy keeping up the act that gives me a living and without which I would no longer know Who I Am

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not Hear the Common Sense of the Words of a Man that exposed the inconsistency between reality and the Message of Law of Attraction, targeting only the Few that have already access to a world of well being, having enough to either attend the seminars and buy books and tapes, which means they have food as well and a roof over their head and an education that allows them to read or access the message in some way, vs the world at large where 2.5 billion people don't have access to sanitation and 1 billion is starving and or malnourished as we write

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and belittle the man who raised some much important questions regarding the state of the world, because not belittling him would mean belittling me and my message and this cannot happen

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to tell the story that the 'Secret behind The Secret' is me and my 'original Message of wellbeing and 'You can have it if you Want it' when in truth the Secret is that in an obviously finite universe where resources are limited if you take more than you need, someone will have to go without, which is what is shown to us in the increase of poverty and starvation since law of Attraction was introduced and practiced

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to insist that these are the best of Times for 'Shifts to Happen' and only rarely add that they are 'The Worse of Times too', not making the connection that it must be if everything exists within polarity and that increasing the pulling of the Positive will have to create an increase on the Negative, and that is fine, as long as the Negative happens somewhere remote where we can't find a correlation to 'that thing we do' as we participate in the positive Polarity of The Mind for our own selfish and self centered reasons

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that now that Jerry is gone and I no longer have a sounding board to confirm that everything I say is true, everything may come tumbling down if I engage in depth questions such as the gentleman's questions about The State of the world for too long, and I will be exposed as a fraud in the best case or a mental case at worst

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Fear facing the Reality of this World and the Suffering that exists because this would invalidate my whole Life's work and Myself as I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as 'Abraham's Channeler' and friend.

Related articles

• Day 125: Abraham Hicks - Life is supposed to be fun
• Day 125: Abraham Hicks - Life is supposed to be fun continued...
• Day 128: Economic Slavery and True Activism
• Day 150: Heaven Can't Wait
• The Science of Thought - Introduction: DAY 149
• Day 142: Money and True Activism
• Day 147: Followers
• Day 149: ACCUMULATION SECRETS of WEALTH
• Day 141: Fear of standing out to call out the abusers of life
• 158. Special Care for Good People

Day 135: The Good Master - Character

For 17 years that I lived abroad, someone has always taken care of me one way or another, either working part time for me or full time, so coming back to Italy and to the 'business' of taking care of myself is something that I have done but not enjoyed, I see taking care of myself as a drag, someone else should take care of me, I don't mind paying for that, I mind caring for myself.

Recently I have gone back to feeding myself properly, which is time consuming as I have to prepare all the food I eat fresh, wash the veggies and cook every day, I realize this is something I don't enjoy in my mind but not in the physical, because when I do it it's just like anything else, it is only my judgement of not being doing anything worthwhile that stands in the way of enjoying myself. I have allowed as well my idea of 'process' to stand in the way to enjoying myself as I have polarized process to something 'unpleasant' because I swung to the polarity of what I did before, which was nothing at all apart from smoking Pot and accumulating useless knowledge and information that I did not live out in the Physical and yet I defined as 'pleasant' by the world standards idea that since I was Not Working I had it sweet by comparison, and therefore I was living an idyllic life as one of the Lucky Ones that Deserved it, on a tropical island in Thailand.

It is interesting to see that I live a Life that is just made out of ideas and beliefs and definitions, because in self honesty my Life has taken a Quantum Leap in Self Worth, as I moved from the worthless pointless Life of self interest to widening my horizons to include Humanity as a whole and the need to stand to Change myself to change this system of abuse that I was too oblivious to even recognize before I actually started this Process of Self Correction.

Another Point is that I have first engaged and then suppressed thoughts about how I have regressed, as I had accepted and allowed myself to invest my sense of self worth into my 'life achievements' that included not having to care for myself, as in having a helper doing for me the menial tasks that living in this world requires, such as making my bed, ironing, cooking etc.

I still live out this sense of regression as loss of worth due to having to care for myself as I had dreams and hopes that I built around what a perfect Life was supposed to be, which included slaves to attend to my needs and desires that I would keep like a Good Master, attending to their well being and care, not as an Equal because Slaves are Not equals, but as a Good Master, the best Master, to the point that they would want to work for me for free. I actually achieved that, but now when my ex helper calls me with her own money for a chat and to tell me the latest news about Hong Kong, I am overwhelmed with a sense of unfairness for having taken other people's lives to serve me and for having manipulated them to such a degree that my Greatness as a Master would not allow them to forget me ever, as they would compare me to their new employers who would always fail the comparison game as they are not motivated by my same blinding desire to enslave with wisdom and kindness as the ultimate sneakiest invisible shackle to bend others' lives to my whims and desires.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I deserved more than others and that someone should give up their life for me because I was special and entitled to be served

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define taking care of myself as a drag that should be the duty of someone else and not mine as I was born to do much more important things with my life while others were born just to slave and take care of me and my desires

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire a genie in a bottle that would come out and say 'your wish is my command' because I was Good and Special and deserved a genie of my own as my Reward

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire the devotion of my staff and for going to unbelievable length to enslave them to me through fake benevolence that was just a trap I set out for them to become tied to me for Life

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel diminished by the fact that I no longer have slaves at my service which means that I am no longer special and deserving of a genie of my own

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel guilty when my Ex Helper calls me to chat using her own money, because I judge this as the ultimate act of self sacrifice a person with no money makes to hang on to the shackles that I have designed and made her wear to please me as the Good Master

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that some were more worthy than others in this world and that WHO was more worthy was defined by how much money we managed to make to be able to get what we wanted in comparison to those that could not get what they wanted, because they did not deserve it by the Grace of God

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seek for belief system that justified WHY some deserved more than others, such as Law Of Attraction and for then selectively teach the system but not to the ones that were below me as my staff in case they would become rich, up and move on, and leave me without my privileged life with slaves at my service

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as Evil because I took advantage of my position in Life, instead of realizing we are All equally Evil because as soon as we have some money we enslave another, like my ex helper does with the family she herself supports and enslaves through Money

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not want to see to what extent and how this world revolves around Money and the power it gives to some over the lives of others which is why the point of the Equal Money System is addresses within Desteni as a way to STOP the Slavery we are subjected to and subject others to, through Money as Power over other's Lives

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to be a Good Master so I would not have to feel guilty over the fact that there cannot ever be a Good Master, because attempting to be the Master of someone else's Life using Money as a Tool for enslavement is Evil as a point of Not giving to another what I would like to receive as an Equal

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that just because someone around me is a Happy Slave I no longer have the responsibility to Equalize myself as it is them wanting to play that role and I am just providing better than others would do in my same place, which makes me better than other Masters

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to invest my self worth into a system where abusing another is necessary to be someone and for justifying taking the life of another to be at my service as something good that I am doing because without me they would starve, instead of addressing the point of WHY there are people who starve on this planet unless they enslave themselves to someone for Money, and standing up to correct this point within myself as my own desire to have and own Slaves

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame myself as a bad person for the life I have lived in relation to managing people and their lives, instead of seeing that Equality means that I have to take my own responsibility for my desires to Master other people's lives and they have to Equally take their responsibility for accepting and allowing their own enslavement as Equality means equal responsibility for our mutual creation

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to take all the blame as that keeps me in a position of MasterHood, while others are not allowed to take responsibility because their self responsibility would disempower me from being in charge of their lives

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel indebted to my ex helper as I judge myself as the One that created an image of the Perfect master that she can't shake off now, instead of letting her go for good within my self created Master/Slave relationship within my mind and release her from my Good Master Character

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I have regressed and I am diminished because I no longer own slaves, nor in the workplace or at home and that since I bought into the belief that Life is judged by what we accumulate and the position we can secure for ourselves, I have accepted and allowed my own diminishment through my own definitions and con-victions of what a Successful Life is

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that in enslaving another I am enslaving myself to my own creation of enslavement and that I have just played out my Anuness with my idea of self righteousness because really, without me others would not have been able to take care of themselves and survive

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project onto others my sense of being powerless so I would not have to face my own experience of myself as powerless and useless within existence

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that there are Good Masters and Bad Masters and since I was one of the good Ones, providing proper accommodation and good Money I was better than the bad Masters who kept their helpers like dogs and had to be told what a proper accommodation is' and that a bathtub or the kitchen floor doesn't in fact qualify as such

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to be the master of someone as I feared that I was not the Master of myself, believing that if I could manage someone else's Life I could let go of this feeling of being powerless and useless, instead of addressing my own feelings of inadequacy and how I experienced myself so I could stop the enslavement of myself and others within existence

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that my life was more worthy than others' who were paid/rewarded with less Money as a Wage, because I believed that we are in fact defined by how much Money we earn and what is our Market Value, instead of seeing and realizing that embracing such beliefs means I am for sale and my life is for Sale, which means I am a Slave to this existence and the Master of Nobody, not even myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think and believe that 'taking care of myself is a drag', when in fact it's just an idea I have embraced within my desire to not take care of myself and be a responsible human being and that nothing I do within the physical ever proves to be a drag when I step out of myself as the Mind

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to associate Process with something unpleasant as the polarity of the 'imaginary Pleasant Life' I lived for 4 years on a tropical Island, conveniently forgetting the truth of my 4 years in which I battled with a pot addiction and a lack of sense within my life and this physical experience and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from process, as if it was not just Me walking a Path of self correction, but a task, like 'taking care of myself', something I project into the Doing realm and not into the Beingness of Me, coming back to myself from the million little pieces I broke myself into through self judgement, guilt and shame.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stand in the way of me becoming the Master of me as I get lost within my mind and my own Self Definition of what worth is in separation from myself as Self Worth and Self Value Here in every moment of Breath.

Related articles

• Hey, Stupid...Smoking Pot Makes You Dumb!
• 135. 'The Secret' CULTivates Narcissists
• Day 128: Economic Slavery and True Activism
• Day 137: FREE Choice and True Activism
• Day 126: TRUE ACTIVIST Humans Were Always Cruel
• Day 104: Cheap/Worthy Self Forgiveness and Self Commitment