Day 268: $$$pirituality - Who is Cashing In?

Some of the things that are going on in the world are not invisible therefore our acceptance of their existence must be deliberate, maybe we want to NOT rock the boat in fear of something happening to us, maybe a lightening bolt could strike us down for our evilness and daring to point out the obvious as the real Motives behind Spirituality, one can never be too careful.

As I said before if you take a self honest look at this Spirit business, you can see all the signs of any religion, it's just a 'system upgrade', the Fear is still there and so are the rewards, it's Consumerism for the Soul, a great idea because for the body we had exhausted all consumerism avenues and why not move onto the Soul, the Soul -apparently - has its needs too and we can cater to it and charge good $$$, with the highest profit margin, mass manufacturing the invisible for those that seek it has no production costs, needs no hiring, no raw materials, no plant to manage, it's just a Money making machine with no headaches or maintenance required. Profit margin, the highest in any field, basically any Entrepreneur's idea of Heaven.

It's easy to see that commercializing the Soul would have to come from those who had embraced Consumerism to a degree that there was nothing else to manufacture stuff for, let's say the US, we had covered the lifestyles, the star signs, the names of birth, the gender, had successfully moved onto kids (watch the documentary Consuming children) and still some had been left out of the Greed game.

Aiming for a new 'original' market share could possibly have been the Flower Children, those that had not realized that they had joined a preplanned predesigned alternative movement for "Freedom of Expression", which was in fact remote controlled in all its aspects to give the illusion of 'a way out', something we have always longed for and never found, so far.

When those characters had to recycle themselves into the system, an avenue was required through which they could hold on to their self Image as 'different' and 'uninterested in wordily possessions', and holier than thou too - because the crack resulting from having to face the MONEY point and how they could NOT in fact live without it, would have been fatal.

So, a whole world of Spirit was born, look at the timeline, from 1964 to the 80s, when the New Age movement impacted the scene.

I was born in 1964 from one Flower Child parent, the other had to do the responsible parenting meaning going to work and making Money to support the family, while my father embraced "I'deals of Unity and Love, interestingly the parent who faced the Money point -my mother- ended up in the role of the one who gave real practical support to me, fed me, paid for my education, travels, my father adversely, the enlightened one, the detached one, the one for whom Money was Not Important, never an issue, as he cruised through Life piggybacking on people with Money or ending up working for friends who had successfully returned to the system, never supported me or my mother, incidentally the last time he spoke to my mother right after I got married, he asked her 1000 euro as a loan, and my mother who knew she would never get it back, said 'I will give you 500'. After that he, predictably, disappeared. 

Some could call this Ascension, he was just no longer available in the 3rd dimension.

My father would have made the perfect Spiritual Guru, he just was not dedicated enough to apply himself and for myself, having both DNAs, I turned out as a mixture of both, making money while seeking the Spirituality that would absolve me from it, because making money in this world is a dirty business, and the more you make, the dirtier it becomes. Unfortunately to get out of this mess we'll have to get all pretty down and dirty to position ourselves effectively to turn around the till in favour of a system that works for all, we have locked the system and the ones who should not participate in the Big Game -out, through a funny concept, Morality, pointing how wrong it is to want Money, seek it, desire it, covet it, all this preached by people who did nothing else but piling up the loot - and- funniest of all, we believed them.

The Gurus of today are just the New Age version of the Church, watch them on You Tube, see how deftly they refrain and avoid the Money talk, but don't be mistaken, they are LOADED, they are in every field of the New Age's Movement - from food, to meditation, to quantum hypothesis and make belief solutions, they will sway people with words they themselves can't explain, most of those talking about Quantum Mechanics haven't got a clue about it, they don't need to, they need to grab out of it the right words and line them up to make US believe that what they say makes sense at all.

One of the last videos I watched was of Wayne Dyer after cancer, a few of them had cancer and all of those described Cancer as what they had to experience to become even more enlightened, to know what others go through, failing to mention all their previous discourses about those with cancers and the reasons for manifesting that specific illness -or maybe believing Their Cancer was special, specially designed and delivered by the Highest forces to make them see something beyond the wealth of knowledge and information they had already accumulated. A gift in short.

To maintain he illusion of credibility they flock in groups, supporting each other's belief system and excuses about why this world is fine the way is, just because it works for them, denying the physical as an illusion in the face of those that are REALLY suffering and lacking, it's just embarrassing what we have elected to do under the label of Spirituality, it's not just a delusional spot in the mind of the preachers, it's a place to rent out, sell out, push to share with others from which we can get Money from, that we call Investment in this wonderful program for Wealth, for your Success, to unlock the secret to manifest all your desires - ending just like my father, crossing the desert in the Middle East with a Jewish friend and a backpack full of grapefruits - just so he would have a story to tell. The reality of a wife with a kid struggling to get to the end of the month to pay the debts he left behind while gambling did not touch him, he was all Love and Light before the Light shone bright in this world, the Money talk was beyond him, 'let them eat cake' if the bread is scarce.

There is One Power in this World, the one we work so hard to deny, that power is Money, there is nothing Spiritual about it, it's visible, tangible and powerful, none of the Spiritual teachers would ever let their Money go for the Gift of Consciousness, the CON is for us and so are the IOUs-ness in an Investment plan with the lowest return ever, we can say only the 1% of the Spiritual teachers make it into the Money game, because it's Elitism, it has just changed from a business suite to a Robe, but the Robbers have not. 

The name of the game is Greed, it was never meant to uplift Humanity or to create Solutions that work for All, because to be a Guru I must stand above and some must stand below, this will end when everyone will take their Equal Stand for themselves and All of Existence, Equal and One.

Stand up for All Life with an Equal Money System, One for Whole and the Whole for One.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to put my Faith and trust in con artists of the New Age as I sought to join groups that could absolve me from my responsibility for the Whole as Myself on my way to riches

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to lead myself through this world using emotions and feelings as my 'guidance system', going for what 'felt good' and protecting myself from what felt bad, without seeing and realizing that what felt bad was what I was supposed and programmed to not look at so I would not question this system of Abuse and Inequality and utter Injustice

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to admire my father because he was a 'free thinker' unbound by the world possessions unlike my mother who was always thinking about money, instead of seeing and realizing my mother had no other thought than money because she had to support herself and me within this system in which nothing else counts but Money as a result of what we accepted and allowed ourselves to create in separation from each other

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to look up at those spiritual gurus and teachers making them 'more than me' due to their achievement that I joined in pretending were spiritual in nature, when in fact I admired how they made money and got away with the guilt of it, by justifying their every action with a 'higher meaning' and a higher purpose' which was just a cover up for getting the money as a vital resource that should belong equally to all and not just be the domain of some

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to embrace spirituality and the belief that Money is not All as a teaching from people that did nothing else but sell books and produce merchandise to go with it that gave them Money, because I too wanted the Money guilt free and I admired them as leading experts in doing just that and wished to have my own slice of the pie

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear pointing out that there is something wrong with Spirituality if it doesn't consider what is best for all, because I feared that someone from my past would turn up and say that I was not against it when it worked for me and for feeling ashamed of who I have been within the teachings of Spirituality as my excuse to have more than others and shut out half of the world so I would not have to feel bad about it, I forgive myself

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Day 220: Armageddon for Sale - Last 6 days

We have 6 days to go to Doomsday.

We managed to turn Armageddon into a Business, we should be proud to never miss a chance to make Money on people's Fears and Delusions. That's what this system is built around and who would want to miss out on making Money on the day the world Ends? One never has enough and having MORE would make for a safer crossing into the Afterlife, sure One can find a Money Changer in the Dimensions.

What happens to those who invest in the End of the World if the World doesn't have the decency to end?

Will there be Refunds?

How are the Doomsday Contracts Stipulated, is anyone assuring the End of the World, like taking a daily trip to see Pink Dolphins, some tour operator promise to refund you if you don't manage to see a dolphin during the trip, that's 'honest'.

Given that the unpredicability factor for Dooms Day is Higher, would the refund be full if nothing happens, partial if someone dies or a few houses fall down, how can one come up with a comprehensive contract to cover the 'X' factor of Doomsday?

Silly me, there is no need of course, because to sell Dommsday, someone must believe in it to buy it, noone can sell the unselleable.

Remember 'The Prestige' and how a Magic trick is held up:

The Prestige opens with the following lines;

Every great magic trick consists of three parts or acts. The first part is called “The Pledge”. The magician shows you something ordinary: a deck of cards, a bird or a man. He shows you this object. Perhaps he asks you to inspect it to see if it is indeed real, unaltered, normal. But of course… it probably isn’t. The second act is called “The Turn”. The magician takes the ordinary something and makes it do something extraordinary. Now you’re looking for the secret… but you won’t find it, because of course you’re not really looking. You don’t really want to know. You want to be fooled. But you wouldn’t clap yet. Because making something disappear isn’t enough; you have to bring it back. That’s why every magic trick has a third act, the hardest part, the part we call “The Prestige”.”

 Let's see if we can find The Pledge, The Turn and The Prestige in Doomsday Prophecies.

So The Pledge, showing something ordinary: The Mayan calendar should do the trick, it's ordinary, but it's not, because it ends on December 21, 2012. This is how we understand this Calendar

Can you see the Calendar there? it's pretty clear, looks like any Calendar you have ever seen, can't fool anyone right?

So le't move to the second part of the trick, The Turn

"The magician takes the ordinary something and makes it do something extraordinary. Now you’re looking for the secret… but you won’t find it, because of course you’re not really looking. You don’t really want to know. You want to be fooled. But you wouldn’t clap yet. Because making something disappear isn’t enough"

• The Magician (Doomsday promoter), takes the ordinary rock we see above and makes it do something extraordinary, like tell a DATE, a specific date, December 21, 2012. That's pretty extraordinary.

"Now you’re looking for the secret… but you won’t find it, because of course you’re not really looking. You don’t really want to know. You want to be fooled."

• Yes, this is how you miss out on the fact that we are talking about a Rock, whose reading would be subject to an individual interpretation which after the first, would just stand to prove the exactdeness of the original reading, this is how we "investigate" everything in this World so far, we look for clues to prove the theories and opinions We Already Hold, so if you are already looking for the date 21st dec 2012, you'll find it.

 

"But you wouldn’t clap yet. Because making something disappear isn’t enough; you have to bring it back. That’s why every magic trick has a third act, the hardest part, the part we call “The Prestige”

• OkDokey, then we have to now assign a Meaning to this Date and must be a Prestigious one, we set out originally just to sell the Mayan Story, but it was not enough, you would not Clap. What do you say if on that date The World Ends?

Seems pretty cool to me, so as the Magicians of this World set up their Prestigious Acts, some buy it and Clap for it. Obviously having gone through such lenghts of self deception, noone could EVER admit to themselves that they were lying about the end of the World, that they knew at some level the world was NOT going to end and now, after years of bullshitting family and friends, we have to go the whole way. Here is where the Doomsday Sales People step in, the scene is set, they have to now sell somwthing we already bought and self promoted. Eazzy..

Now imagine a different scenario, you actualy wake up on december the 22nd, poorer, maybe jobless, maybe alone as you told everyone to fuck off cos you believed you were on your way OUT of here, and yu are NOT.

Please consider this possibility first before leaving your jb, kicking your friends and abandoning your cat in the street because you WILL wake up on the 22nd, the world will still be Here, and so will be ALl of Us, the troublemakers of Existence, then the last choice we will have will be to consider DOING SOMETHING ABOUT THIS WORLD! 

There is nowhere o go, yes, disheartening news, but only if we leave things as they are, instead we could stand to change the current Systems into Systems of Support for All.

The world has become a shitty place because we let it run unchecked, we let ourselves run unchecked, building up Monsters as our Minds and then refusing to correct our own creation to the point of wishing the physical annhilation of the planet and all iving beings, just to get the Hell out of Here.

But we must remember that wherever we go, there we are, there is nowhere to run and we shouldn't run, but stand, look at this world, see what we need to change, CALM DOWN, Breathe, and then step by step move to create heaven on Earth for Every Living Being.

To sort out your Monster Mind: Desteni

To sort out this world System join us on the Equal Money Website.

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Day 139: WHY proposing to Change the World for FREE is a Scam

As a group we have realized that Money has become the Cause of Most Suffering in the World, not because of what Money is, but because of what WE turned Money into, a Tool for division and separation, a weapon of Mass destruction, the bestower of Worth and Value stolen from All Life Equally and traded on the Markets of this Planet.

It is self evident that Money did not get to Its Throne without Us Collectively putting it there, it is Self Evident as well that there are a few things about Money that Collectively We Just Don't Want to Face, so, since our "Wants" in the "Face" of the "Needs" of others that go unattended are fairly irrelevant, let's Face Them instead.

• WE have given to Money the power to decide if One Lives or Dies - without Money you Die, which is WHY everybody is subconsciously or unconsciously and rarely consciously so attached to Money, as WE KNOW that Money has such Power and what would it be of Us if we were to fall flat on our face on the thin divide that separates us from the Ones not having enough to survive

• We live within a system that is Money and Profit driven, those that pretend that God is their Master are lying, as they pray God for Money or Good Luck which is Money, or Love which is Fear of waking alone on this Planet without support which means without Money, or Good health, which One cannot buy with Money BUT can get the best healthcare with MONEY which is NOT accessible to the Poor who get to have bad Health due to the Miserable Conditions they are born and live in PLUS they can't access good Healthcare because it costs Money.

• All the resources of the Earth that were given freely by the Planet for ALL, at the moment cost Money, water costs Money, electricity which is harnessed by the Earth resources costs Money, gas for heating or cooking costs Money. Inventions which should have been given to Humanity for free as anyone claiming an intellectual right is a cheat, as intellect is developed through Education and the learning of subjects pertinent to the later "developed invention", which is gained through Money and the Best Education costs the most Money, so we have at the Moment No fucking Clue about the untapped genius resources of the Poor, have we, as they have been discriminated BY Their Lottery Birth into a situation of No Access to the Money System.

• Private Property is legalized theft, as any private property is built on a piece of land of the planet we All Equally belong to and the fact that even my mother told me that she would fight for what she 'owns' doesn't make this one iota more "right" than if God himself said that, as that would just prove that this Creation was faulty from the start and worshipping a Creator (Mother or God) that created and supported Inequality and apparently professed to Love His Children is a sign of Mental Sickness that would be addressed and resolved within a system where Life was cared for and considered Equally sacred.

• Justifying this Creation because God did it, is only possible with Money in the pocket, so it's actually MONEY that allows the Belief in a God/Creator of immense benevolence, without Money there would be no need to be thankful and with prolonged starvation some of these beliefs have self healed, go figure, Reality is a potent antidote for sickening beliefs, between Reality and the Truth of this World only Money can cushion us enough to allow the blindness that would otherwise show that this World is ridden with suffering, abuse, violence, corruption, dishonesty, dishonor and not the Joy and Love professed by those selling Hope to the Fools for, ah yes, for MONEY.

• Money doesn't grow on Trees, so thinking that Desteni can grow the MoneyTree just because they are located on a piece of farming land is a delusion, nor it can be attracted through the use of the New Quantic philosophies, if you whole heartedly believe so, give Your Money/Possessions Up for the New World System as Equal Money and set out to prove to yourself that You can attract the Money back to you, unless you too know that this is a LIE and a Hope we want to cherish so our Fear of Survival won't be so all encompassing and holfind us mercilessly into the black hole of this existence where Breathing is laced with FEAR, the same FEAR and powerlessness over 1 billion people live with every day due to their lack of access to the Money System and their Right to Live.

• Within this consideration, the proposal of a New Economics systems is born, within the understanding that Economics is NOT a Science, because a Science is scientific in its approach and since this alleged scientific system to distribute and manage the Earth resources has obviously utterly failed, having reduced over 1 billion people into starvation as we play ''the markets' believing that what we do with Money is inconsequential when the consequences are staring us in the face through the eyes of starving Children, Economics will have to be rewritten to reflect that we understand what an Economics system is, as an Eco system in which All Life can thrive and is supported and cared for Equally.

Now, there are some promoting new Economics system that will just ask you to sign a petition, to stick a logo over your face and be done on your merry way as you continue to do what you have always done and THEY continue to do what they always did, which is NOTHING, this is another self evident point, as Charities and Do Gooders have always existed and yet the World has Not Changed, because Everyone is in it for Themselves, which is another point we'll have to face, what is The Missing Link between The World we Say We Want and the World We Have? Could it be Us? Is it possible that it is US ALL that will have to Change for The Change to become manifested as we realign to Oneness and Equality and What is Best for All? Yes, an interesting point to consider, but for now back to the practicality of How do We Change a Money driven System from Where/What it Is to Where/What we want it to Be?
Because We have to FACE this point, even if we don't want to because we like better the fairy postings about positive thinking and how the Universe is going to shift everything for Us..and yet it didn't, the dates keep changing, the Hopes not, we insist that there will be an Intervention, just as long as it is Not Our Own, any absurd belief will do to not face the point that We Are Required to bring This Change About.

The Truth of the Matter is that in a Money driven system where all resources have been stolen and privatized -and let's not feel better or more than the ones who did it, we just lacked the opportunity that they had, we would have done the same- you have TO PAY to set a New System in place, this is WHY movement like Zeitgeist and the Venus project have built just one Model City, because of MONEY and I hope No one is fool enough to deny that it cost Money to build a city as a Model of a moneyless world within a Money driven World as if they did, they would not only be lying but would be in bad faith spreading the sickness of delusion that you can in fact Change a Money driven System without Money, which is just simply NOT POSSIBLE.

The fact that we don't need Money because The resources are Here, is just the Same Delusion, go get them to build city no. 2 and 3 and you will notice that All resources are Owned by Someone, which means that Not Only We Need Money to Change the System, but we'll need Politics to Vote a New System in Place as you can Imagine by putting yourself in the place of the Owners of the World, that they will have to be Voted Out of their Ownership through Democratic Means as they do not see WHY they shuld give up what they BeLieve they rightly own, the Law says so, but these democratic Means at the Moment are for Sale and have to be bought, - yes, forgot to mention for those that did not notice, that Democracy has been privatized by Corporations who write the Laws and have them enforced as the Result of the Voting of What People Really Want through Money, which gave the Corporations The Power as Money to step up to the responsibility to run the world as they saw fit, for Money as Profit - which means that due to having unattended the World for so long in terms of Self responsibility we are NOW Forced to BUY IT Back, to BUY OUR WAY Back into the System to be able to Change it, yes, the irony it's extreme and yet it is so evident that having People spreading any other Truth than the Truth of the Matter shows that we are not in fact wanting to Face these points, because if we did, what we are doing for Change would seem as insignificant as in fact is, and it would uncover our True Hidden Motives, that keeping it like it is until I have enough for myself and My Family is Good Enough and would show that We are All Equally Responsible, a point we are trying to fight with tooth and nails, failing to see, that it's only within our taking Self Responsibility that we will get back our Power to Change the Way - we perceive- Things Are.

The other lies kept in place about this 'Good System' are glued into our Consciousness through People like the Dalai Lama, as he goes about relishing the Kind World we live in, forgetting to mention that the reason why he gets to travel first class and live a King's Life in the face of the Tibetan Fighting he left behind, is because people with Money are supporting His Lifestyle in the Hope that they will get a piece of Heaven.

The Pope is another holder of the system in place, yet he doesn't even mention the kindness of All The Fools that are supporting a nest that breeds pedophiles and abusers and while some may well have real good intentions, we must not forget that the Catholic Church owns properties, land, art and plenty gold in which they truly pour the Blood of Christ, as the sacrifice of the Living Word that they are willing to make every day for the Wealth that will ensure them the Temporal Power they are after, the Secular Ones are guaranteed by the Money they own, this is why they are Not Thanking anyone for it, they believe it is their Right to own what they do as the representative of Christ on Earth, a Poor Man who preached Equality and Oneness and threw the Money Changer out of the Temple.  And yet for MONEY the Catholics have no Morality that is What is Best for Life and Best for All,  they own a German publishing house that prints Blue Novels and pornography, a business with a turnover of 1.7 billion a year that will not be given up just because a bunch of devout Catholics have been offended and protested about it, because let's be CLEAR, this world is All About Money, the Catholics got it from the beginning, and took their measures to ensure they would build a good product to sell as Hope, that requires Faith, but that is Up to You to find it, PURE GENIUS, it would be like selling you a fridge in a country with no electricity and being told the electricity to run it, is YOUR Problem, which is what Faith is, the engine that moves Hope, that creates Hell, while they made sure they kept their marketing going, as it is the best business on Earth, manufacturing Faith comes at Zero cost, with 100% profits to guarantee they had more than enough to weather this Life that they see and understand won't be a Life without Money, because MONEY is God and the Ruler of the World, until we say ENOUGH.

At Equal Money we are giving up ALL LIES About Money, as we see that it won't be possible to address this system change if we keep lying and pretending that Money is Not Important in a World where they will soon find ways to sell the very air we breathe, instead we say, IT WILL TAKE MONEY TO CHANGE THIS SYSTEM, and these are the reasons why it will:

This system can be accessed ONLY through Money, as we have locked ourselves out of it and enslaved ourselves to it, yes not the greatest idea, but the natural consequence of keeping on delegating our Self Responsibility, until a system took over a Life of its own, stemming from Greed and Self interest, not the best cocktail to give birth to a System that is now governing and owning our very Lives, and having abdicated our Power to Money in Every Field of Existence, anything we want to do to spread the message will cost us Money, flyers, radio, commercials, documentaries, anything and everything we wish to access to allow the message to spread costs M O N E Y.

All of us within the group are contributing financially as we can, we support the Eqafe Shop that sells interviews to explain the System and how we came to find ourselves in this situation, plus we support this project through Time and Labour, which unfortunately at the moment doesn't translate into Money, because we cannot pay each other for what we do to spread the message as everyone is contributing time and labor and their individual skills for free, yet the Money point stays, it has not gone away, because the Money point is "The Point" that we need to address together, as at the moment is representing WHAT WE Stand For, as Separation, Self Interest and Greed and so it will take us to 'Stand for Something Else', as Equality and Oneness, before the point can shift in the Physical.

So, while I want to thank all the people that contact me/us on Twitter or Facebook to let me/us know that they like Equal Money, that they have voted, wishing good luck -because they just didn't get yet that Luck is MONEY, as it is proved by HOW MUCH LUCK the Rich seem to have-, I want to remind everyone that reads our blogs, that we need MONEY to Change this Money System, that all of us will have to give up something to chip into this new Money project and those that have much shall contribute for the Time they are NOT putting in, because this system will benefit everyone Equally and it will become manifested through our Equal participation in Time and/or Money.

This doesn't mean that we have conversion table to monetize what we do or how we contribute or how others shall contribute, it means that each one of us has to see that the Real Voting system is happening in this World through Money, as the experiences we wish to have and the desires we invest in, and that if there was no one buying arms they would not be manufactured, no one buying sex it would not be sold, no one buying children they would not be on the slave market and so when we look at this world we must be aware that We are Voting this World to either STAY as it is, which is fucking crazy and has reached the end of its sustainability long ago, while we joined Love and Lighters, UFO sightings, channelers and mediums to discover what would be of us in the Future, when WE ARE The Ones creating this Future and voting it into place every single day, with everything we buy for our self interest and greed, over buying as VOTING for a World that supports an Equal Life that is Best for All.

So, until the New System is in place we have to ask Ourselves, what can I do without to ensure that a New System is in place for when I die so as to not leave behind this utter disgrace of a World to the children that will come, wouldn't have We liked to NOT have to be born into the consequences of the lives gone before us that set in motion such a place? Wouldn't We have liked to be born in a system that supported us from Birth to Death, where Life is not about Competing for Survival but about Giving One Another the best Possible Life experience we could share? It's possible, that World is in the making with Equal Money, stand up, take your place among the pillars of the New System so that the ones coming will have a foundation to build on, to keep going toward Equality and Oneness and a World that is best for All, until that World will have to manifest as this one fades away as the illusion of separation it now stand for and as.

There are really no excuses for Not Understanding this point, if we are making them up we should be aware that we are and get moving, because the lies about Money have to STOP but so have the lies we tell ourselves about WHY there is Nothing that We Can Do, even when a Solution is offered to Us on a Golden Platter that only requires our honest participation and practical support, until it's done.

Equality is Who We are, anything less that we accept is a compromise in the face of our Oneness and the Life We Could Be if we could stop for this One Life to be the assholes that pretend to care instead of becoming Self Responsible Beings that Do Care and Move Together to stand as Life for Life to Change this World for Ourselves and All of Existence, Equal and One, Once and for All.

Self Forgiveness for desiring Change for "Free" Will follow.

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Day 131: The Desteni Character

I am very glad that we have started this topic about investigating this particular Character.

When I first met Desteni I had realized that something was seriously wrong with this World, the point of Money and Profit and how WE are All profiteers was not yet within my awareness, I had just reached the stage in which I saw All Others as Profiteers that were just out for themselves.

I landed to Desteni through Conspiracy Theories, some of these should not be called Theories since there is clearly a World Agenda that is not considering Humanity or Life At All, yet I did not see the part I played in it. I am not yet clear about it even now as I write, a point that makes me fear to approach some of the 'Existential Writings' as I am still dwelling and lost within my own 'personal' shit that I can't fathom seeing me as part of the Economics Problem for example or the Money System.

I had the privilege to translate just 1 Chapter of the Equal Money System book, I cannot even recall why we did not go ahead, possibly other things to do came up, we went for FAQ translations, yet when I read that one Chapter a part of me saw the interconnectedness of All Things, and how WE as Humans do play a role within the Money system as the system itself. It was just undeniable and right in my face.

Some days when this 'process' seems overwhelming I remind myself that at the beginning I could not even understand Equal Money for the Life of me, I told this on Forums, I even told that I just don't know what is it to live as Oneness and Equality and What is Best for All. None of Us walking this Journey to Life project knows yet, because we have Not Yet Lived it, we are not IT yet, we can only try and fail to conceptualize it as knowledge and information.

In time I have made Equal Money something that I understand as Me, it is the Equality of Me granting the right to Life to All Living beings on Earth through an act of realignment of my priorities.

Which opens up another can of worms, I don't know what kind of Life I am aiming for, what to expect Equal Money will change for real and how this is going to happen in the Physical, this has not diminished in any way the point that this should be the goal of All of Us, to come united for All Life on Earth, to stop our ideas of Separation and stand as One.

Today I read Gian's Blog, Living a Commitment, and I realized I do not live my commitments, because Process for me is a To Do Thing, it's a Task that I do as a decision that I took to stand for Life, and that while I have corrected the "in my face" points of self Abuse since I joined Desteni, I have as well evolved this Character through phases.

The first one was my Desteni Taliban phase, during which I have terrorized Family and friends with blabbing about the End of Times and death and reality Not Being real, to my Hong Kong friends I told Hong Kong would be wiped out and to pack up and move, I sent in the big guns as the Portalling of Nostradamus I seem to remember, Hong Kong it's still there, which just added to the idea of lunacy I have spread around while in this Phase that led me to in fact Hope it would be wiped out so they would see that I was in fact Right. One point that proved the Desteni message about Earth being an Ass-ylum and us being both Mental cases and basically plain Ass-holes, because if we were not we would have already stood up for a solution to this world where 22000 children starve every day to death and 2.7 bil people don't have access to clean water and sanitation just because we drool after a System where the capital of the World has become Money and Life has gone on sale, that we are Assholes seems self evident.

Then I had the Desteni Isolated Character, in fear of mixing with the World and not being able to keep my big mouth shut and do further damage, now I have moved into the Desteni wise Old Soul, having granted myself the validity of my application through the time I lasted, to my surprise.

Yet, within all this Characters I have not lived, I forgot to Live because Living is what I fear most, death always seemed such a comfort that I do not yet know how to do this Living thing and I keep forgetting the breathing, even if I write it to myself as a reminder every day, Breathe, and then I go and don't do it.

And the NOT breathing piles up into anxiety, as I reduce this 'walk' to a task that I must undertake, finish, see to the end, do as much as I can, accumulating guilt for what I do not do, don't read enough Blogs, post enough things, participate openly enough, not a good team player, basically I took Desteni as my new bashing tool, it's been way more effective than Religion as I hold on to the same fears that brought me Here to walk this walk, the fear that I won't Die and will have to live again after Death, the fear that I have nowhere to go if I decide to step off the Desteni coach to Oneness and Equality because I am stuck within 2 realities none of which yet works out in any way close to any idea I had of a Good Life.

And then the question in the back of My Mind: when do I get to live?

So I keep myself busy, I write, do my assignments, take on projects so I won't have to live through those awkward moments when the question 'now what?' comes up, as I project myself into this Internet based life in which I don't seem to have anything else that is meaningful, so many words that carry ideas and images of a Life that I never had and without knowing what I am shooting for, because how can I walk a Path without a Direction and is Oneness and Equality a Direction even when I don't even understand what that means yet?

So my Desteni Character is made with the Dream of a World that is Best for All and the Fears that we won't get there, that we won't be good enough, eloquent enough, standing as an example well enough to show how this is possible, is made of the fear that I am walking an unknown Path to an unknown Destination and that I won't understand if what I am doing is on 'the right path' as we are all together walking a Pathless Path to what we have seen that has to be done, because this World is a madhouse and a whorehouse, where all of us are on sale for the purpose to Live, is THIS Life?

And then the fear that I cant quit anymore, that I boarded a trip I cannot get off from because the 'off' from this trip is just Off, there is nothing behind and nothing ahead yet.

Tomorrow I will walk my self forgiveness for how I have walked this process so far, to remove from it my definitions and resistances to seemingly small points, the word "Destonian", which I don't like because it has an O where an E should be, like in my name, and I don't want to identify with it as it reverberates within my Mind of sects and cults, or the resistance to the idea of the Robot that makes me react every time a 'system is explained in detail' as I don't want to accept that this is what I have reduced myself to, or the word Mind Consciousness System that I am tired to even Hear, or the Word 'Process' which in Italian translates as 'trial' as in a Court of Law, within which I live in the constant frightening idea that is more than a Court of Law, it's a Martial Court, in which I condemn myself even before I stand trial, and that this has to turn from a Trial into a Doing, because this way is not working and I will have to restart like Gian, from Who I am within this and I won't be able to see what is going on within myself until I slow myself down enough to see what is it that thing that I am doing all day long, what is it that keeps me preoccupied in my Mind about NOT being Able to stop the thinking, what is it that stands in the way of me applying what I am committing to if not Me? And then see the Whys, so I can see the Hows, as it will be only facing Me as The Problem that Me as The Solution can be Revealed.

Related articles

• Day 115: DREAM EVOLUTION 2012
• Day 112: The Time Has Come
• Day 135: Consciousness and True Activism
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Day 124: Giving Up The Hope-Fool Character

Hope (Photo credit: bitzcelt)

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I qualified for Hopeful intervention while the rest of the World, including kids who did not even have food, a point I was aware of, did not, making myself a Victim of a system in which Victims create Abusers and viceversa

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I was a Victim in need of -Hope-fool- intervention and within this for giving up my power to stand for myself and All, One and Equal

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I was not worthy because Mary Poppins did not come for me as I learnt to compete for attention, hoping to come out the winner within my competitions with other kids, growing more and more indifferent to the needs of others in favour of my wants and within this I forgive myself that I did not care if a child was starving and that I would not have given up Mary Poppins to go and help someone more needy as I took Mary Poppins and everything else in Life as the measure of my worth and value and in seeking Worth and Value for myself in separation from my Self Worth and Self Value I would happily trample others and existence as a whole just to come out the winner and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from myself as Life as that gave birth to all sorts of abominations while I sailed through existence forgetting that I am All There Is and that whatever I trample and trash on my way to victory is myself as You are Me in another Life
 
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Hope that someone would come and save me as I feared this world, this life and my family without realizing I only feared myself and the chance that I might have to stand up for Change as Change, in separation from myself as Existence and All there IS

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live fear as Who I am as a kid, which gave birth to the desire for HOPE, within which I could HOPE that things would get better without having to do anything to make them better for myself and this Creation Equal and One

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pretend to leave behind the Hopeful Character as the One that Hoped that Mary Poppins would come and save me, just to upgrade my operating system into more elaborate Hopeful patterns, such as the one of a Lightworker or the one who was Idle-ly waiting for a shift to occur, for a spaceship to board, for any external intervention that meant I did not have to do anything about what is going on in the world that is affecting 1/3 of the people on the Planet

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deceive myself about having grown up, meaning that I had become self responsible, while I secretly hid the same desires I had when I was a kid, to not be responsible and to be saved and rescued from this world and this reality by someone bigger and more powerful than myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Hope in the Existence of something Bigger than me that I could Blame for the state of the world and Hope it would come and save me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that we need an external intervention because I trusted that we cannot change and that we had reached an all time low as humanity, instead of seeing and realizing I had reached an all time low and did not trust that I could change

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I could trust the fact that I would not change as I heard many times that 'people don't change' until I made it my mantra to justify why I did not change, instead of standing up consistently for change until I stand corrected

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize that the reason why I embraced the point of trusting that I would NOT change, was just because I believed it was easier than to in fact change, and because I did not have the tools to change myself when I reached the con-clusion that 'yes, it's true, people don't change' but I have now the tools to change myself and so I can stop justifying my not changing with the point that People do not change and just keep correcting myself until I in fact stand corrected

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see realize and understand that we are stuck into timeloops of our own creations, in which we have first defined who we are either through our acceptances and allowances and then went out and lived our own secret self definitions, and that we can in fact change as we stand to redefine ourselves and everything we have participated in in alignment with Oneness and Equality and What is best for All

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if and when we have been evil as children, that was who we really are and then tried to leave those memories behind, without seeing and realizing that the whole of who we have been is Here and has never gone anywhere and so it will require that I dig up the memories of myself that I have stored together with my self definition so I can correct all my starting points as memories as Characters of separation born out of Fear to realign myself to Life as What is best for All

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to Hope, to join groups full of Hope as Love and Light, hoping that I could wave my Light Wand and make the ugliness of the world just go away, fearing that if I let go of Hope there would be nothing left to hang on to and within this I forgive myself for believing that I HAD to Hang on to Hope because I perceived and then beLieved that I was not Enough to stand and be the Change that is required in this world

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at myself because I spread the Hope disease as my hidden fears around and for supporting the education of Children through bullshit Cartoon Characters, comix that are not funny anymore when we see why we Create them and what is their purpose as to pass on our fears to the Children of this world in the form of Hope as the crippled Characters we have become and believe to be Who We really Are

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to speak the words 'let's Hope' even now that I now better, just because I fear not knowing what to say when people share with me their suffering and how they are Hoping that things will get better and since I hold mixed emotions about 'the right words to say in such circumstances' I give them 'Hope' laced with my own fears that there is nothing that can be said to alleviate Human suffering to people who are too old to Change

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to hang on to the wild card of Hope for others, pretending that I do it for them, while I still feed off it whenever I speak the words 'Let's Hope' I have just changed polarity and I am no longer able to access the 'positive polarity' of Hope as the potential solution but now I access the negative polarity of Hope as the Lie and the cover up for the Fears I feel when I am faced with suffering, believing that I myself might want to receive the Hope Last Rite when on my deathbed, instead of seeing and realizing that HOPE is what is making the deathbeds for all of us in which we'll have to Lie unless we STOP hoping and stand united for and as The Solution for a World that is best for All

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that 'One spoonful of sugar' makes the medicine go down, and within this failing to see that we are all in fact self medicated through our own participation in chemical manifestation that we call emotions and feelings that we participate in, believing that Life is Not Enough, that Life is Bitter and there is Nothing we can do about it apart from taking a fucking spoonful of sugar to make it go down, failing to see that we mistook Life in and as the Mind as Life Here in and as the Breath we All Share

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to embody this 'Spoonful of Sugar' song, turning myself into a sugar addict as a way to make my life sweet as I believed that Life is in fact bitter and unbearable, instead of seeing and realizing I am the one making my life bitter and unbearable as I participate in the polarity of the Mind, where once I board the swing for the positive polarity I will have to live out the negative polarity of my Choice, living the self balancing act of a Life that is NOT what Life is but what we believed it to be as we bought into the need for Hope to just get by/through it

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Not Care about others as myself because I did not care about myself enough to be able to extend such care to others One and Equal and within this Hoping that someone who really Cared would come along and sort things out, failing to see that I must be the One that really Cares for myself as Life and All of Existence, One and Equal

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from myself through Hope, within which I no longer saw myself as capable of standing up for Change but as someone who needed Help and within this belief I trapped myself in Helplessness not seeing realizing and understanding that since I am the One that Decides, if I need Help I decide that I am helpless and it is only when I give up all desires for help as Hope as a Saving Intervention that I can stand as the Saving Grace of myself and Existence, Equal and One

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• Day 126: TRUE ACTIVIST Humans Were Always Cruel
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