Day 218: Christmas Time, Spreading the Seeds of Evil Brainwashing

(Day 217 walked privately)

When I was a kid I was told that presents were delivered by baby Jesus, yes, the Catholics highjacked Santa for their own brainwashing purposes, creating 'credits' in the Mind of kids so they could TIE them into a belief system of 'rewards' either earthly -Christmas- or in the AfterLife. Imagine that, the Catholics found ways to take on the "credits" of the parents without spending a cent. Hats off?

As kids grow up and try to make sense of the world at large, including the logistic of such a complex system, we fill their heads with lies that don't make any sense. 

If it's hard to believe the story of a fat old man on a sleight making all those deliveries in one night, entering from chimneys in places that never had one, imagine believing an infant taking on the task, who  is NOT technically yet born, according to our nativity sets, as baby Jesus appears in the manger on the night of the 24th according to 'Tradition'.

We fail to see how we grow up to be demented adults with no common sense, because we lost the threads to the origin of our mental cacophonies, if we have to believe that such an amount of deliveries can take place in ONE night with just One Sleight by an Old fat man, anything else that comes after sold to us as Truth it's a piece of cake to take on board.

Like the story of Money, worthless pieces of paper that we accepted and allowed to become more important than Life itself, that nowadays decide if one has access to vital resources or not, that determine the value of LIFE making some Lives more worthy than others but hei, we believed in Santa and a plastic baby Jesus to be in charge of the Consumerism of Christmas night, so what would stop us now from believing anything else, like that the Vatican for example has the interest of the people at heart? 

Just for the record, the Vatican owns 85% of the luxury property market in Rome, they don't pay taxes because Mussolini agreed that if they stopped mingling into the politics of Italy, he would give them their own State, which he did, in the middle of Rome, one step you are in Rome then take a step over an imaginary line and you are inside the Vatican City/State.

Every Christmas when the temperatures go down, the Vatican doesn't keep the Churches open at night or house the homeless in their empty apartments, because those apartments are too luxurious for poor peasants and since their lives are worth less than others due to their less-ness in how much MONEY they own, they can stay outside and freeze to death. 

They will go to Heaven for not having troubled the Vatican and their Temporary Powers, it's a Promise.

Meanwhile huge nativity sets to make sure the story keeps being repeated and imprinted into people's Minds are set up, big enough to house the homeless, but we wouldn't wants Sacred Statues to mingle and be contaminated by Poor Bastards, would we? Right on track with the teachings of Jesus.

Basically, Christmas is the time in which we should all become more 'good', this begs the question if we are good at all if we celebrate 1 day of GOODNESS a year, a day in which apparently becoming good means BUYING something for someone. 

Really, what is it that prevents us from seeing we are being duped and then duping ourselves from birth to death, brainwashed into fear, shame, blame and then into blaming each others so we won't have to feel the shame for how we participate in this world, for how we close our eyes even at Christmas and allow so many to go hungry and homeless while we set up lights and trees in our living rooms to celebrate the birth of a man that said that we should love and take care of one another. 

Anything not right with this pictures, the picture of us eating way more than we need because Christmas is special, buying useless things to celebrate people we dislike just to secure our place within this system and our own survival within it, because inside we know that this world has turned into a dangerous vile place as the consequence of our own abdication of responsibility, our greed and self interest, we just don't have the guts to stand up, and so we get together with billions of others who also don't  and pretend that for one day, one night, we are All really Good and Holy.

Let's Wake up to face the ugliness of this world and stand united in Self responsibility for Life and all living beings for a real overall system change Change and to build a world that works for All. 

Stand for Life, cast your Vote at #EqualMoney

Day 139: WHY proposing to Change the World for FREE is a Scam

As a group we have realized that Money has become the Cause of Most Suffering in the World, not because of what Money is, but because of what WE turned Money into, a Tool for division and separation, a weapon of Mass destruction, the bestower of Worth and Value stolen from All Life Equally and traded on the Markets of this Planet.

It is self evident that Money did not get to Its Throne without Us Collectively putting it there, it is Self Evident as well that there are a few things about Money that Collectively We Just Don't Want to Face, so, since our "Wants" in the "Face" of the "Needs" of others that go unattended are fairly irrelevant, let's Face Them instead.

• WE have given to Money the power to decide if One Lives or Dies - without Money you Die, which is WHY everybody is subconsciously or unconsciously and rarely consciously so attached to Money, as WE KNOW that Money has such Power and what would it be of Us if we were to fall flat on our face on the thin divide that separates us from the Ones not having enough to survive

• We live within a system that is Money and Profit driven, those that pretend that God is their Master are lying, as they pray God for Money or Good Luck which is Money, or Love which is Fear of waking alone on this Planet without support which means without Money, or Good health, which One cannot buy with Money BUT can get the best healthcare with MONEY which is NOT accessible to the Poor who get to have bad Health due to the Miserable Conditions they are born and live in PLUS they can't access good Healthcare because it costs Money.

• All the resources of the Earth that were given freely by the Planet for ALL, at the moment cost Money, water costs Money, electricity which is harnessed by the Earth resources costs Money, gas for heating or cooking costs Money. Inventions which should have been given to Humanity for free as anyone claiming an intellectual right is a cheat, as intellect is developed through Education and the learning of subjects pertinent to the later "developed invention", which is gained through Money and the Best Education costs the most Money, so we have at the Moment No fucking Clue about the untapped genius resources of the Poor, have we, as they have been discriminated BY Their Lottery Birth into a situation of No Access to the Money System.

• Private Property is legalized theft, as any private property is built on a piece of land of the planet we All Equally belong to and the fact that even my mother told me that she would fight for what she 'owns' doesn't make this one iota more "right" than if God himself said that, as that would just prove that this Creation was faulty from the start and worshipping a Creator (Mother or God) that created and supported Inequality and apparently professed to Love His Children is a sign of Mental Sickness that would be addressed and resolved within a system where Life was cared for and considered Equally sacred.

• Justifying this Creation because God did it, is only possible with Money in the pocket, so it's actually MONEY that allows the Belief in a God/Creator of immense benevolence, without Money there would be no need to be thankful and with prolonged starvation some of these beliefs have self healed, go figure, Reality is a potent antidote for sickening beliefs, between Reality and the Truth of this World only Money can cushion us enough to allow the blindness that would otherwise show that this World is ridden with suffering, abuse, violence, corruption, dishonesty, dishonor and not the Joy and Love professed by those selling Hope to the Fools for, ah yes, for MONEY.

• Money doesn't grow on Trees, so thinking that Desteni can grow the MoneyTree just because they are located on a piece of farming land is a delusion, nor it can be attracted through the use of the New Quantic philosophies, if you whole heartedly believe so, give Your Money/Possessions Up for the New World System as Equal Money and set out to prove to yourself that You can attract the Money back to you, unless you too know that this is a LIE and a Hope we want to cherish so our Fear of Survival won't be so all encompassing and holfind us mercilessly into the black hole of this existence where Breathing is laced with FEAR, the same FEAR and powerlessness over 1 billion people live with every day due to their lack of access to the Money System and their Right to Live.

• Within this consideration, the proposal of a New Economics systems is born, within the understanding that Economics is NOT a Science, because a Science is scientific in its approach and since this alleged scientific system to distribute and manage the Earth resources has obviously utterly failed, having reduced over 1 billion people into starvation as we play ''the markets' believing that what we do with Money is inconsequential when the consequences are staring us in the face through the eyes of starving Children, Economics will have to be rewritten to reflect that we understand what an Economics system is, as an Eco system in which All Life can thrive and is supported and cared for Equally.

Now, there are some promoting new Economics system that will just ask you to sign a petition, to stick a logo over your face and be done on your merry way as you continue to do what you have always done and THEY continue to do what they always did, which is NOTHING, this is another self evident point, as Charities and Do Gooders have always existed and yet the World has Not Changed, because Everyone is in it for Themselves, which is another point we'll have to face, what is The Missing Link between The World we Say We Want and the World We Have? Could it be Us? Is it possible that it is US ALL that will have to Change for The Change to become manifested as we realign to Oneness and Equality and What is Best for All? Yes, an interesting point to consider, but for now back to the practicality of How do We Change a Money driven System from Where/What it Is to Where/What we want it to Be?
Because We have to FACE this point, even if we don't want to because we like better the fairy postings about positive thinking and how the Universe is going to shift everything for Us..and yet it didn't, the dates keep changing, the Hopes not, we insist that there will be an Intervention, just as long as it is Not Our Own, any absurd belief will do to not face the point that We Are Required to bring This Change About.

The Truth of the Matter is that in a Money driven system where all resources have been stolen and privatized -and let's not feel better or more than the ones who did it, we just lacked the opportunity that they had, we would have done the same- you have TO PAY to set a New System in place, this is WHY movement like Zeitgeist and the Venus project have built just one Model City, because of MONEY and I hope No one is fool enough to deny that it cost Money to build a city as a Model of a moneyless world within a Money driven World as if they did, they would not only be lying but would be in bad faith spreading the sickness of delusion that you can in fact Change a Money driven System without Money, which is just simply NOT POSSIBLE.

The fact that we don't need Money because The resources are Here, is just the Same Delusion, go get them to build city no. 2 and 3 and you will notice that All resources are Owned by Someone, which means that Not Only We Need Money to Change the System, but we'll need Politics to Vote a New System in Place as you can Imagine by putting yourself in the place of the Owners of the World, that they will have to be Voted Out of their Ownership through Democratic Means as they do not see WHY they shuld give up what they BeLieve they rightly own, the Law says so, but these democratic Means at the Moment are for Sale and have to be bought, - yes, forgot to mention for those that did not notice, that Democracy has been privatized by Corporations who write the Laws and have them enforced as the Result of the Voting of What People Really Want through Money, which gave the Corporations The Power as Money to step up to the responsibility to run the world as they saw fit, for Money as Profit - which means that due to having unattended the World for so long in terms of Self responsibility we are NOW Forced to BUY IT Back, to BUY OUR WAY Back into the System to be able to Change it, yes, the irony it's extreme and yet it is so evident that having People spreading any other Truth than the Truth of the Matter shows that we are not in fact wanting to Face these points, because if we did, what we are doing for Change would seem as insignificant as in fact is, and it would uncover our True Hidden Motives, that keeping it like it is until I have enough for myself and My Family is Good Enough and would show that We are All Equally Responsible, a point we are trying to fight with tooth and nails, failing to see, that it's only within our taking Self Responsibility that we will get back our Power to Change the Way - we perceive- Things Are.

The other lies kept in place about this 'Good System' are glued into our Consciousness through People like the Dalai Lama, as he goes about relishing the Kind World we live in, forgetting to mention that the reason why he gets to travel first class and live a King's Life in the face of the Tibetan Fighting he left behind, is because people with Money are supporting His Lifestyle in the Hope that they will get a piece of Heaven.

The Pope is another holder of the system in place, yet he doesn't even mention the kindness of All The Fools that are supporting a nest that breeds pedophiles and abusers and while some may well have real good intentions, we must not forget that the Catholic Church owns properties, land, art and plenty gold in which they truly pour the Blood of Christ, as the sacrifice of the Living Word that they are willing to make every day for the Wealth that will ensure them the Temporal Power they are after, the Secular Ones are guaranteed by the Money they own, this is why they are Not Thanking anyone for it, they believe it is their Right to own what they do as the representative of Christ on Earth, a Poor Man who preached Equality and Oneness and threw the Money Changer out of the Temple.  And yet for MONEY the Catholics have no Morality that is What is Best for Life and Best for All,  they own a German publishing house that prints Blue Novels and pornography, a business with a turnover of 1.7 billion a year that will not be given up just because a bunch of devout Catholics have been offended and protested about it, because let's be CLEAR, this world is All About Money, the Catholics got it from the beginning, and took their measures to ensure they would build a good product to sell as Hope, that requires Faith, but that is Up to You to find it, PURE GENIUS, it would be like selling you a fridge in a country with no electricity and being told the electricity to run it, is YOUR Problem, which is what Faith is, the engine that moves Hope, that creates Hell, while they made sure they kept their marketing going, as it is the best business on Earth, manufacturing Faith comes at Zero cost, with 100% profits to guarantee they had more than enough to weather this Life that they see and understand won't be a Life without Money, because MONEY is God and the Ruler of the World, until we say ENOUGH.

At Equal Money we are giving up ALL LIES About Money, as we see that it won't be possible to address this system change if we keep lying and pretending that Money is Not Important in a World where they will soon find ways to sell the very air we breathe, instead we say, IT WILL TAKE MONEY TO CHANGE THIS SYSTEM, and these are the reasons why it will:

This system can be accessed ONLY through Money, as we have locked ourselves out of it and enslaved ourselves to it, yes not the greatest idea, but the natural consequence of keeping on delegating our Self Responsibility, until a system took over a Life of its own, stemming from Greed and Self interest, not the best cocktail to give birth to a System that is now governing and owning our very Lives, and having abdicated our Power to Money in Every Field of Existence, anything we want to do to spread the message will cost us Money, flyers, radio, commercials, documentaries, anything and everything we wish to access to allow the message to spread costs M O N E Y.

All of us within the group are contributing financially as we can, we support the Eqafe Shop that sells interviews to explain the System and how we came to find ourselves in this situation, plus we support this project through Time and Labour, which unfortunately at the moment doesn't translate into Money, because we cannot pay each other for what we do to spread the message as everyone is contributing time and labor and their individual skills for free, yet the Money point stays, it has not gone away, because the Money point is "The Point" that we need to address together, as at the moment is representing WHAT WE Stand For, as Separation, Self Interest and Greed and so it will take us to 'Stand for Something Else', as Equality and Oneness, before the point can shift in the Physical.

So, while I want to thank all the people that contact me/us on Twitter or Facebook to let me/us know that they like Equal Money, that they have voted, wishing good luck -because they just didn't get yet that Luck is MONEY, as it is proved by HOW MUCH LUCK the Rich seem to have-, I want to remind everyone that reads our blogs, that we need MONEY to Change this Money System, that all of us will have to give up something to chip into this new Money project and those that have much shall contribute for the Time they are NOT putting in, because this system will benefit everyone Equally and it will become manifested through our Equal participation in Time and/or Money.

This doesn't mean that we have conversion table to monetize what we do or how we contribute or how others shall contribute, it means that each one of us has to see that the Real Voting system is happening in this World through Money, as the experiences we wish to have and the desires we invest in, and that if there was no one buying arms they would not be manufactured, no one buying sex it would not be sold, no one buying children they would not be on the slave market and so when we look at this world we must be aware that We are Voting this World to either STAY as it is, which is fucking crazy and has reached the end of its sustainability long ago, while we joined Love and Lighters, UFO sightings, channelers and mediums to discover what would be of us in the Future, when WE ARE The Ones creating this Future and voting it into place every single day, with everything we buy for our self interest and greed, over buying as VOTING for a World that supports an Equal Life that is Best for All.

So, until the New System is in place we have to ask Ourselves, what can I do without to ensure that a New System is in place for when I die so as to not leave behind this utter disgrace of a World to the children that will come, wouldn't have We liked to NOT have to be born into the consequences of the lives gone before us that set in motion such a place? Wouldn't We have liked to be born in a system that supported us from Birth to Death, where Life is not about Competing for Survival but about Giving One Another the best Possible Life experience we could share? It's possible, that World is in the making with Equal Money, stand up, take your place among the pillars of the New System so that the ones coming will have a foundation to build on, to keep going toward Equality and Oneness and a World that is best for All, until that World will have to manifest as this one fades away as the illusion of separation it now stand for and as.

There are really no excuses for Not Understanding this point, if we are making them up we should be aware that we are and get moving, because the lies about Money have to STOP but so have the lies we tell ourselves about WHY there is Nothing that We Can Do, even when a Solution is offered to Us on a Golden Platter that only requires our honest participation and practical support, until it's done.

Equality is Who We are, anything less that we accept is a compromise in the face of our Oneness and the Life We Could Be if we could stop for this One Life to be the assholes that pretend to care instead of becoming Self Responsible Beings that Do Care and Move Together to stand as Life for Life to Change this World for Ourselves and All of Existence, Equal and One, Once and for All.

Self Forgiveness for desiring Change for "Free" Will follow.

Related articles

• Day 111: INNER STRUCTURE of an Equal Money System - Part 1
• Day 113: Inner Structure of an Equal Money System - Part 3
• Day 57: Measuring the Performance of the Economy - Part 3
• Day 74: The Money Supply - Part 4
• Day 87: Competition and Efficiency
• Day 120: True Activist Politics
• Day 137: FREE Choice and True Activism
• Day 143: Free Stuff! And True Activism
• Day 142: Money and True Activism
• Day 139: The Rapture and True Activism

Day 106: Patterning/Parenting/Patenting Rights ?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that it is the right of a parent to pattern a child in his/her image and likeness, even though the actual parenting/patterning is not considering what is best for the Child as Life or What is Best for All

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I was lucky as I believed I got a mild parenting/patterning in comparison to some of my girlfriends who got hit and battered by their parents, believing that they deserved it because they themselves said so, and for justifying 'some' patterning compared to others as long as it did not involve 'too much violence'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that sometime a child deserves a good harding, for their own good and that a good harding or a slap here and there, 'never hurt anyone' since they all survived them and grew into 'decent human beings', when in fact if the world was full of 'decent human beings' as a result of violent upbringing we would have changed the world already

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to laugh at the representation of abusive parents by the survivor children, believing that since we survived the abuses and we could laugh about it, we were all right

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that it is the right of a parent to do with the child what they want because they created the child and they can unmake it as they made 'it' in the first place, as my mother and many other mothers used to say when they got angry

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire a good harding for some children because they were unruly and rude, instead of seeing and realizing they were just playing out family patterns out loud and that we need an overall education reform to re-teach what effective parenting is since none of us knows anything about it, or we would have created children that would have changed the world already

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that sometimes children 'just take them out of your hands' meaning slaps and physical punishment, just because I heard parents say so, instead of seeing and realizing that there is something wrong in a world where we believe that violence is sometime necessary to teach children about a world where they have to get along with each other and love their neighbor like themselves

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire that some children would be punished more harshly because I have been punished harshly for minor things and I hated seeing other kids getting away with murder and I wished they at least got what i got so everything would make sense as 'the way things are' for everybody

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to excuse poor parenting because 'everyone is doing their best' when in fact nobody has been doing their best but just what we have learnt and repeated from our parents giving it a minor twist here and there, so we would not notice how much we passed on just the same parenting traits to the children of this world, as what we had received

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to excuse the poor parenting of my friends, because they were my friends and parenting is a secret we have agreed to never challenge as others could say ' YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS TO BE A MOTHER' even though this should not be an excuse to stand up and say that passing on one's fears, ideas and opinions of a religious nature, or lies about Santa Claus and the Wonderful World we Live in, is a Lie, damaging and abusive

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to support different parenting for girls and boys in which boys are praised for being strong/brave and girls are praised for being beautiful, while we define and limit children to  specific expressions just because this is what we were taught was important within gender definitions

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not tell my friend that the reason why her daughter wants to choose her father who has a driver over her mother who has fuck all, is because she is playing out what we adults taught her about the Value of Life vs the value of Money and since she is clever and can be imprinted with any bullshit from the parents and the parents' friends, she did, and now she believes that Money defines her and everyone, just like we do,  and we cannot in self honesty act surprised like 'gosh, where did she get THAT from ?" because WE KNOW where the kids get the shit they spit in our faces from, from us, yet when we see them playing it out we want to disown them and not be associated with such thinking as they play out in the Open for everyone to see Our Secret Minds that we deny and suppress

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, when I occasionally cared for children, to imprint them with the same bullshit I was imprinted with, with stories of morality about good and bad that stood in the way of their own development of common sense as an expression of themselves as Life, as Breath that they could have relied on for the rest of their life, if the adults that came before them, including myself, would not have interfered with the imprinting of their own bullshit as ideas, Opinions and believes and Multiple Characters as Personalities

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept that parking children in Church or in the hands of priests/nuns for their education is better than leaving them on the streets, even though in the streets they would see what is really going on in the world, while nuns and priests just veil them from reality while they screw with their heads with stories of martyrs and virgins all based in fear, pretending that there is a benevolent Creator sorting things out, and this is the good side of life with the Catholics, when they are not busy abusing the children physically

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that 'there is nothing wrong' with parking children in Church, where they sit and listen to the bullshit thousands of apparent adults have subscribed to, and having already gone through the point that adults know better, have to question their sanity vs the sanity of the believers and conclude the adults must know better, which opens the gates for all the religious shit to come in and be imprinted in their Minds, losing generation upon generations of people who no longer believe in Santa but believe in Gods, Saviours, Love and Fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that any religious teaching is in fact child abuse as the fears of the Parents are passed on to the children to create fearful useless Human beings that will never stand up for What is best for All since religion, together with their parents, stripped them of their common sense and their ability to see that there is no God's plan for this world that is not out accepted and allowed plan and that as we accepted and allowed it once, we can NO longer accept it and allow it and stand up for and as Life and What is best for All

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel bad when I stood up against teaching religion to children, because the group in support of the 'harmless teachings' was larger than just myself standing up and saying stop, and because I feared their judgement and then I believed that I was making a mountain out of a mole, when there is CLEARLY nothing wrong with passing on the teachings of Good and Bad, while I could see that there was because innocence was always lost with religious teaching to never return

I commit myself to expose the point that parents must be accountable and that having kids is not something that everyone should do just because we don't need a licence, even though we need one for fishing, and that if humanity is insane we need to see this and stop reproducing like broken records, always paying the same music again and again until we work out HOW is it that we are doing what we are doing so we can correct ourselves and THEN have children who won't have to walk long paths of self corrections because they will not be broken at birth like we were

I commit myself to no longer support a world where we make parenting skills a taboo, in fear that all will be called out for their responsibilities to be/become accountable parents, because we need responsible and accountable parents to create a World that is not based on Fears but based on what is best for Life and What is best for ALL

Day 81: Experiencing My Mother stepping Out of Character, Now What ?

What we are doing with this new Character perspective has opened up many new perspectives, one that I saw clearly yesterday and that gave me a feeing of sadness was that if I have just moved from one Character to another within my Life, when was I alive for real ? And the answer is Never.

This became clear as I looked for when was the last time I was authentic, and as it should be, I cannot remember that time, because if and when I was ever authentic as a child, I have no memory of it, because if I were Here in and as Breath, I was not in Character and hence I cannot have filed a memory of that moment, which means everything I can infact remember and place within a memory contest happened while I was in Character, NOT Here, therefore NOT Real.

Yesterday my mum came to visit, she was very upset because she spoke to a friend and the friend told her that Her daughter just out of Uni found a job, so my mum admitted that while she was happy for her (Character) she was envious about it too (Character) because she went into the desire that it should have been me getting the job and why didn't I ? (Character)

The speech came as a bit of a surprise because I thought (Character) that we were fine and that we had agreed that I would focus on my health first (Character) and THEN focus on the job.

Yet we both had been playing this 'job game' unspoken because none of us wanted to get to the root of the matter.

And the roots seem to be several.

One root that she exposed and was quite obvious, is that I have done nothing to 'root' myself back in Italy, I have been hovering above this country, trying to not get infected by my judgements that this country is just something I am doing because I did not know what else to do and that I am in fact absolutey unrelated to it and don't want to create a relationship with it either, as this is my way to rebel against what I see as a system where everyone is razzled-dazzled by brands and money and status and I am NOT.

Then another point has been my regression, I have looked into it and thought that it was due to my return to Italy having made nothing with myself in the 17 years I have spent abroad, I have not come back rich and with a 'position in the world system I can be proud of', so I am fying low as to not have to expose why and how this happened and how I wasted all my 'potential' coming back with and as 'nothing'.

And this point exists, but the regression happened for something that yesterday became clearer as my mum talked, she had originally told me 'ok rent this house out if you don't want to stay here and with the money you can decide what to do and where to go and live', this gave me two feelings, one of relief, because I saw I could again move out of Italy and go to a cheap country and live off this rent, plus I would still have the house for my old age, so there was relief and guilt at the same time, because it seemed that this point would be working only for me, while my mum had to never benefit from some more money that she could get from this house as she sacrificed to protect 'my old age', yet it was 'her duty' (?).

While we talked she re-thought the point out and said, "or we could just sell it as was the original plan, you get half of the money, I get half of the money so I breathe a little, and then what you do with the money it's your business'.

At this prospect I felt a huge relief, because the money from rent was like being under controlled administration, the way you would put someone who had bankrupt and could no longer be 'trusted' with having a lump sum of money, because they would just do a repeat number, but then I saw the point of self responsibility, which I have skipped and hopped along in the past year since I came back, because THIS was the original plan and I had a plan to set up a business with the Money, but when my mum changed her mind, I went both into a sulking "I have ben trapped here against my will' and a spiteful stance of 'if I am handicapped according to you, then you take care of me', because this point is there for sure.

Plus yesterday my mum told me 'see I have stepped out of character' (how interesting), because if I had to behave like grandma I would NOT give you the Money of the house but I would tell you that you fucked up your money and now it's up to you how to get out of it'.

So I had a flood of feelings of gratefulness for the 'stepping out of Character that she did' but then today I saw that she actually had to step out of character, because somehow she had become aware that we were keeping each other stuck into a mother/daughter play and that something had to give or I would be the daughter for eternity and she could only have it two ways, either the power to manage my life through holding the money purse or let go and benefit herself from the letting go by getting half of it.

Yet, after out talk I started looking for a job, but I no longer felt like before, a loser, because now I had an imaginary sum of Money in my pocket and so I became an investor in my own Life and not someone on the dole and I faced for the first time the question, how would it be best for me to move back into the system ?

Of course with the imaginary money in my pocket, everything changed, I changed, so my perceived value went up and many jobs I would not consider became appealing and my choices widened, when you have imaginary money (because let's set this straight, all money circulating at the moment is Imaginary anyway) in your pocket choices expand, so how is it that we cannot get the point of how entangled we have become to the Money System and why we have to pass through the Money System, correct ourselves, Give Money as Life as Choices to everyone Equally, restore everyone's Dignity and then move on to a moneyless world, what is it that we cannot grasp about this Money Point and how much of ourselves has ended up invested and divested in it ? 

I will try and unravel some of the things that seem interlinked with a lot of past stuff now through Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that without Money I am paralyzed and handicapped and that I am not as valuable as when I have Money/Imaginary Money in my pocket

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow the existence of a world in which our choices are determined/limited by how much Imaginary Money we have in our pockets/Mind

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not want to look at the job point inside of me in fear that I would have to uncover the point that much of me is divested into Money as value and that without Money/Imaginary Money I am not as effective at playing a Character that takes on the system with Equal Power

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use my mother and her stance about this house as my excuse for not facing the job point inside of me and what is going on that has prevented me from being as effective as I know I can be since I came back to Italy

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I was stuck into a paralyzing construct of something that was going on between me and my mother instead of seeing I have paralyzed myself out of spitefulness to prove that since what was promised and owed to me had not been given to me, I now did not know what to do with myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pray/prey at my Grandma's Church, where she promised me Heaven on Earth by telling me that I would not have to work once she died as I would inherit everything and that would be enough to spare me from the Hell of this world as work and a Life of responsibility, failing to see that I turned Grandma into a religion that I worshipped because she promised me Heaven when she died which was better that Heaven when I died

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I was better/superior to the Catholics that go to Church and pray for a better Life and Heaven after death, because I did not go to Church as I would not be duped into a promise of something to be delivered after my death, failing to see that I just had a better deal going with my Grandmother who promised me Heaven on earth when She died and that I was never better or superior to the Catholics but I just had access to a better, more consistent reward for my Prayers at Grandma's Church

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fail to see that for me to access Heaven as in having everything grandma left behind, my mum would have to go to hell, as in not having been recognized as valuable/worthy in life or Death, through Money and possessions, and that I skipped this detail because I did not care that everyone would equally benefit from the equation but that I could benefit more and have my promised Heaven to which I was by now entitled having accepted the worship of Grandma's Church while she was alive at the price of my own compromise of myself and so I had paid what was due, now give me what is Mine

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that Worth and value were determined by the Money/Possessions one could pile up in a lifetime, because through this belief I perceived my grandma more valuable than my mum in my eyes and ultimately I made myself NOT valuable when I cut myself off Money and Possessions so I could see and realize where I had invested myself and my value/worth in separation from me as Life Here in and as Breath

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a Character of Entitlement out of my relationship within my family as I perceived myself paying the required worship to the Church of Grandma, while my mum just didn't get what Grandma was after, which was unconditional support for Her Character which tied me into a Character of my own that developed a Life of its own as Entitlement that I play and embody every time I perceive myself as having paid the due worship to the Character Church of anybody in terms of unconditional support for their Character, no matter if I believe or not that their Character is real, I will pretend as long as they pretend that my Character of Entitlement is real and give me my dues as in worship and unconditional support for the Character I play

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perceive myself at a loss yesterday when in fact I had been given everything I believed I was entitled to, but since my mum stepped out of a Character I was having a converrsation with and moved deflty into another one that I could not immediately identify and align to, I felt naked like in the story of the Emperor's clothes, in which she could see my nakedness and I could not see hers and I felt inferior and diminished and moved back into the daughter character and became grateful for having been granted what I believed was always mine and I was entitled to, yet I suppressed my Entitlement Character in fear that my mother's Character whatever that was would NOT respond well to my Entitlement Character and I might lose out in the Equation in which I was already giving up half of what I believed was Mine just for the sake of secuing the half I was no longer sure I could get out of entitlement

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to divest myself into Money as Value, as a point that I have accepted and allowed myself to receive and perceive receiving strenght from, meaning that when I do not have Money or access to Money I am weak and not in charge of my Life because I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is Money that decided the fate of our Lives and yet even though this realization was clear inside of me I never stood up for Money as Life to be equally shared but focused on how could I become entitled to Money to secure my future and that I would never have to participate in and as the system of making Money in fear of my own compromises, faling to see I had already compromised myself through my investement in Money as Life and that what I feared to see was the extent of my own compromise and what I withheld from the World as me while seeking for my own security as Entitlement

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that my mother was superior to me yesterday when I believed she stepped out of Character, failing to see she just switched Character and she just did it too fast for me to align to the proper Character that could outline somehow my point of view so I could come out of this chat feeling right and having the right and entitlement to what she was giving up, and for feeling inferior because I did not manage to uphold my point of view through a Character play but sat there at a loss for where the talk was going that I could not relate to as a Character and feared to face Here in and as Breath in and as Self Honesty because I fear that Here as Breath not moving in and as a Character I have nothing rehearsed and I will be at a loss for words and ultimately at a loss

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the fear of Loss I experience regarding stepping out of a Character is real, instead of seeing and realizing it is me as the Mind fearing the deletion of Characters as the source of the Energy supply I generate in and as Characters of and as the Mind

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I knew what was going through my mother's mind because I wish to feel safe that I can at least trust her to do what is best for me, failing to see that no one is doing what is best for another because within our Mind as Characters we have designed ourselves for self interest in terms of securing resources, such as Money, and that I cannot expect from another what I have not been willing to give, even if the other is my Mother, because as my Mother she is just 'in Character' and so she herself will try and manipulate the situation to her favor to get something from me, in terms of positive feedback for her own Character or Money for herself, just as I would do when I am in and as a Character

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resent myself for looking into my mother's words and actions to see where is she trying to fuck me, because as a Character I don't trust myself, and rightly so and so I don't trust others either that they would do what is Best for All as I would NOT do what is best for All when I accept and allow myself to lose myself into and as Character plays

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire that my Mother be above the Character Play, because if I accept and allow myself to believe that she is a Character as I am a Character, then NOTHING I have lived or experienced or trusted has ever been real

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear stepping out of my Characters Play because since I have never been Real except the times that I do not remember as a Child and since every memory I try to bring up as help as experience I can relate to before speaking or taking a stance is not real either, I fear not having ground to stand on if and when I step out of Character and that I won't be as articulate as my Characters who I have developed to maximum efficiency to automatically take care of any situation I may face, failing to see that unless I DO step out of All Characters and trust myself that I won't be dumb when it's time to speak but Here in and as Breath and that the more I do and practice being Here the less I will feel the pull and need to step ''in Character' to face something out of fear of being ineffective and that it is a process of building Self trust and that I have nothing to lose as I prove to myself everyday that no Character of Mine has ever been Life but a self interest program I have scripted and lived out pretending to be alive/living

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear admitting I have never lived and fear to be flooded by emotions and feelings about what I missed out, yet this is another Character that I can choose to not embody by being Here in and as Breath instead than in and as Regret as a Character of my life not lived, while I keep on NOT living as I stand in Character

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear this creation as me, as I realize we are on stage playing Characters we do not remember how we have scripted or created and I fear that we won't be able to get out of this stupidity loop that we started in our Search for More of Me and More of me Here, instead of realizing the stopping starts with me as I stop the fear of stopping and step out of All Characters to bring myself back here In and as Breath

I commit myself to dig into all my Characters to see where and how they originated and what is the original memory keeping them alive so I can dismantle them one by one to bring myself back Here in and as Breath, for myself and What is best for All, as Life and All of existence, Equal and One