Day 84: God is My Daddy

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that there was some Higher Being who had a plan that we could not understand, giving up my right and ability to see and realize how did we end up here from the start and creating unnecessary resistances to seeing what is really going on, since I accepted the thought and belief that some things cannot be understood and lived it out as Me as a Character that 'did not know or understand what is going on in existence'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire the existence of a Higher Being so I would not have to take responsibility for this creation as My Creation

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that if we are God’s Children that this is who we are, Children and we leave this world in the hands of Children to manage without any sense of what self responsibility means as we believe Children are not self responsible, it comes with 'age'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to in the past fear discarding God as my Daddy because if and when I did I would have to stand up and become a Self responsible Human being who cared for myself and the whole Equally, while it was better to leave it all up to God

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that it was better to leave everything in the Hands of God, when I could see clearly that either God had washed his hands from Creation, Like Pontio Pilate or he was dead, given the state of the world, yet the belief in God was more reassuring that seeing/realizing and understanding that I was the God of this Creation together with the rest of Humanity and that we would have to stand and become the Change we wanted to see in the World

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that God could see our hearts and our best intentions at all times, which meant that it did not matter what I thought and how I experienced myself and how I participated in the world as long as I could state I had good intentions and a good heart and I was safe

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that the Last Rite as an act of Mercy from God and a cheat at the same time, but kept it in Mind as one never knows on my death Bed I may call upon that Rite of the Last Right to be forgiven for my existence on Earth and everything I have done and participated with

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Fear the Wrath of God, because from the Bible stories he did not seem a very understanding Creator or a forgiving one given what he set in motion because of an Apple and Eve, and for not wanting to give up this fear because if I feared God I was sure He Existed as My Fear was The Proof of the existence of God and then He was The One responsible for This Creation

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to be forgiven, accepting and allowing myself to believe that someone else should for-give me and then I made up the need to create someone else that could forgive me and had to create someone who was more powerful than me because I apparently was not 'good enough' to forgive myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire mercy the Mercy that I was not willing to give to myself through self forgiveness because I was not good enough, so I created a God that was better than me and mor Merciful to take on the task to give Mercy to me for what I have done in and as separation from myself and All that exists, Equal and One

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that since I was a sinner and I could not change I better have a God to keep me in line so God could tell me what was good and what was bad, because I was apparently unable to determine by myself that abusing myself and others was unacceptable, unless God told me, a God that was better than me and more powerful and All Seeing, while I used the justification of my faultiness and sinner-like nature to justify my existence of abuse, that could be later down the line be forgiven by the Good God I myself created 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I was not good enough to forgive myself and to give myself the same mercy that I wished for myself and others, but I would not give it to myself and others through forgiveness, which I now give unconditionally to myself and others, absolutely, as the absolution for our past that is Past and no longer what can define us Here, so we may stand as The Change that can come from our absolute Self Forgiveness and script a New World for ourselves and existence Equal and One

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept God as my Sugar Daddy to which I could turn when things were by my own definition bitter, meaning not satisfying to one of the Characters that I was embodying, or beyond my comprehension, instead of seeing/realizing and understanding that I was the one who put myself in a position of not being able to see and realize what was going on by accepting that ‘God must have a plan that we may not be able to understand sometimes’ because it was better than seeing that if there was ever a plan to this creation it was Evil in nature and I did not want to face the Evil of a Creation of Polarity in which some get it all and some go with nothing, as the Evil of me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept and believe that ‘this is a Valley Of Tears and that we are born to Suffer but great rewards are waiting for us After Death’ and not question the Nature of God as Creator, desiring his children to be born to suffer for a greater reward, setting up for myself through my Creation the reward system we live by that we call Consumerism without seeing realizing or understanding that I treasured this belief because at least the suffering and the tears had an existential context I myself created for a Reward that we would get in the AfterLife and that was a good enough distraction for me from this existence and what was going on

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to switch Character from a believer in God, when I could no longer uphold such comic beliefs to a believer in the Universe, failing to see I had just upgraded God and my Character to a more palatable and acceptable Creation/Creator, trying to remove from my head the image of a man Look alike figure sitting on the clouds somewhere watching while Humanity went to pieces

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist the trashing of my memories of the beliefs in a Benevolent Universe, because a lot of me was invested into the Spiritual World where all was Good and lovy dovy and Rosy, failing to see that unless I uproot from within me all the images and memories of a ‘better time’ in which I felt the comfort of being cared for by a Higher being I won’t become an effective Self Responsible Human Being by my own choice

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fail to see the extensive dis-empowerment taught by the Law of Attraction and Abraham Hicks, in which the main belief is that I can ‘attract’ to me something that someone else as the Universe has set up to create on my behalf, through the desires of my Characters which are NOT Real and how even Law of Attraction was just a way to move and upgrade God/Creator/Universe to something that offered a better reward system, like changing my phone service provider, and failing to see that it was me all the time deciding and voting for these Characters to exist so I could join Their delusional boat, make it Mine and make Our Joint Creations more Real so I would not have to face myself as the Creator and All There Is

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the Aloneness of Existence without a Creator which I made up so I would not have to feel so lonely at times, failing to see that Aloneness was my creation too, in which I felt the separation from Me as All There Is into Energy and Substance and relationships that I powered with the energy from me as the substance from which I had separated to the extent that I was unaware of how I was in fact Creating everything that exists while I feared the Aloneness of Me in separation from the ALL-Oneness of Me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to believe in someone/something that cared effectively for me because I was not taking proper care of myself and I wished to delegate the caring of myself and everything that I created as Creator to God/Daddy/Creator so I could go on playing and having fun while the world around me rot to pieces leaving the responsibility to Daddy as I was just a Child of God

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel ashamed when I realized that I created God to make him responsible for my ow Creation, failing to see that by giving up my Self Responsibility for Creation I became less than my own ideas and beliefs of a God that I myself created to be More than me, which is quite ridiculous yet as a Creator I have the power to Create whatever I want, even my Own Master to make Myself The Slave

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fail to see that unless I made a decision about Who I Am as the Creator or the Slave of Existence, I could not even move forward because Earth has been our Self responsibility training ground, in which we either become Self Responsible Creators, own up to what we did and start cleaning up the mess, or we won’t be allowed in this playground anymore because we clearly pose a risk to ourselves and others when, as our Creation, we desire to be the Slave with Masters and then create a world of Slaves and Masters, just because we don’t want to stand up and take Self Responsibility as Creators and clean up the mess to then realign to Oneness and equality and who we really are as Life and ReCreate together as One from our New starting Point What is Best for All

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fail to see that whatever thought I entertain about Creation and Creator as something that has nothing to do with me, which can be any God or the Universe or an external power in separation from me, that I make up to be more than me, I in fact, by my own decision and Creation, remove myself from the decision table of Creators that Matter as to saying how this world must be organized and shared, and that no one has taken away my power but that I have willingly given it up together with my Self Responsibility so I wouldn’t have to face the Shame for what I did in and separation from Self to myself and existence Equal and One

Tomorrow will follow up with Self Commitment Statements