Day 263: No One Listens - It's All Wasted - Character

This has been brewing for sometime, there are a few reasons that I can see I have used to build myself into this accumulation of frustration, mainly the point of invisibility, all the way through to 'do I even exist, which I projected on others in the question 'do they even exist?'.

In my past communication I almost never failed to drive home a point, it's in my upbringing, so now that I have a 'good point' to drive home, I want results, I want others to go 'oh, I see, there is The Equal Money System, GREAT, how come we didn't see it before. Thanks for sharing!'.

Instead at best I get no reply and at worse a barrel of raving reviews, as I said to my buddy, where people gather up to let me know 'I'm raving mad and basically - to fuck off'.

It's amazing how we fight against a system that would alleviate the suffering for all, it just doesn't make sense to us to even consider the possibility of Equality and I can see how because I have been on the favorable side of Inequality and I have used those excuses to justify why what I had and other didn't was right, made sense, was 'the way things are - the world it's an unfair place -thanks god I was born on the right side of it', when in fact to get to the right side of this system we have to accept that someone lives on the wrong side of it, it can't be any other way in a system designed for just some winners, how could we feel like winners otherwise if everyone else won too, and this is the point that bothers us and it's hard to let go.

So, yesterday when I read the replies on the Hong Kong Maid Forum where I posted a question about 'Maid-hood not Slavery?', I saw my own justifications, what I used to say or I would have said had I been approached about that subject 7-8 years ago, no surprise either since I could foresee all those replies and this can only be if I existed and as such still exist as those justifications, adversely I would have been surprised and unable to relate at all.

When I was a kid I used to watch a cartoon about the dog of the red Baron, he was always after a Medal, that was his late motif 'Medal-Medal' and this is another aspect of my interactions, the expectation of a reward in the form of a positive feedback, or someone getting the point, just because I superimpose on what I write now my previous life and what I did/do, either when I teach or when I managed, and both ways it was My Job to drive a point home until everyone got it, but this is not the same, the expectation is not required because I am not doing a job for which I have to pile up medals, no, I have to share what I have realized as I am waking up and the feedback is irrelevant and building an expectation is just a desire for a positive energetic experience, be it a medal, a raise, or the satisfaction that I carried out my task to completion - having identified completion with others receiving the message and not just the point of sharing at the best of my current abilities, which is the end of the task as just a point of self expression that stands alone without needing any validation in any shape or form

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to, when I could take advantage of this system and the lives of others to be served and revered, to do so and justify my doing with the point that the world is not a fair place and I was a good employer and given their odds, the Filipinos could not wish for anything more

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the point that Filipino women and other women in the world are forced to leave their family to go abroad to make a living, is not a Filipino Government problem but a Global problem, for which we all have responsibility because the poverty of the Philippines, like all the Third world countries in the world, is man made and not an accident of nature, and since We are the humans living here on this shared planet, it's our common responsibility to stand for a change that will put an end to abuses for all everywhere in the world

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that paying immigrant workers below the minimum wage just because there is a special Law that says it's legal, is in fact right, just because I could excuse the point by joining the mainstream thinking that 'in their country it's a lot of money' deliberately  skipping the point that they do not live 'in their country' but in a country where the living standard and the basic minimum requirement have been set and everyone should have access to at least this minimum wage once they enter a foreign country for work, until a new system of Equality and Equal retribution as Equal Value/Worth of each Life is in place

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not question the point of minimum wage as a blatant human right abuse, because it worked for me to pay below minimum wage adhering to the legal guidelines for minimum wages -according to jobs-, instead of seeing and realizing that the Laws are written for the rich by the rich and are just guidelines to cover the backs of the rich through their legalized exploitation and abuse of those who have no choice but to take what is offered, which is better than what they have access to in their own pillaged and looted country -by First world Empires- that has nothing left to offer them

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel angry a the replies on the forum, when I knew in advance what I would have got - to the point that I advised a friend to NOT post blogs on maids that didn't cover the point of reward in a way that people would be able to hear, and for thinking that I had the ability to be heard just because I made that my business in life and hence experience a loss of energy when the replies flocked about how I made no sense at all and how everything was just fine and I was out of touch with reality, I forgive myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to, as a result of experiencing this loss of energy, seek for a boost and contact my ex helper to explain Equal Money, believing that she will hear because while the rich have no interest in changing the system, she must have it, they must have it, they are the abused maids and when she replied she only wants a good employer, to accept and allow myself to dig myself deeper into the hopelessness hole as I backchatted this moment with 'what the fuck do you mean -why don't you want to be Equal, have equal rights, stay home to raise your children, so are these people right - do you deserve a lesser life if you yourself don't want a better, equal life', without seeing realizing and understanding that both sides of the system are brainwashed and it could not be otherwise if the poor did not believe they had to take this hand of card and do the best with it but stood up, and this just shows how deeply our brainwashing has succeeded into convincing us all, the rich and the poor, that THIS is the way things are and there can't be, won't be, ever, any change possible

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to look for recruits to validate this change that is necessary to be embraced by more of us, as a result of spending my time in my mind approaching this as any other project, seeking for strategies and then invariably, facing the disappointment of no results, because any strategy or plan must have an outcome, which is why I experience a loss of energy when an outcome is NOT coming simply because I am coming from an energetic starting point as a personality that delivers vs being Here in and as Breath and just sharing without any expectation on the outcome

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that the dog seeking for rewards as medals was cute because I could identify with him and what drove him in life, without seeing realizing and understanding that believing that looking for rewards is excusable and a human trait I accepted and allowed myself to live one and equal to a reward system, moving myself only for rewards or potential rewards and that when I fail to get one I experience myself as less, as diminished, and for this, I forgive myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear that no one will hear Equal Money as The Solution to the problems we are facing and that will get worse and for not seeing realizing and understanding that it is in the moments when I focus on where we are heading that the urge to deliver a point home becomes greater as an urgency, failing to see realize and understand that I cannot speed up this process for others just by my wanting and that beliefs in 'intention' and 'will' lie behind this idea that I have that if I want it hard enough, it will happen, instead of accepting that it is a process and we'll have to walk the timeline of the consequences we have already designed through our lives of separation and that the only thing that will speed this up is me aligning to being Here more, to breathe more, to not allow myself to participate in fears and pans and plots on how to make this go faster because those are just points I am imagining to bring to a solution and not physically walking to a solution as myself, and for accepting and allowing myself to lose myself in my imagination about the outcome of things as I wish them to be vs walking reality as it is beyond judgement, I forgive myself

When and as I see myself plotting and scheming for new ways to reach out, seeking the unbeaten path and the unbeaten ways, I stop, breathe, see realize and understand that I am just seeking for a reason to move instead of moving as the directive principle of me and bring myself back here in and as breath

When and as I see myself becoming frustrated or on the road to becoming frustrated during one of my quarterly assessment of 'where we are', I stop, breathe, see realize and understand that it is not my job to deliver, that I am no longer managing a company, that I no longer have to meet a quota of 'subscribers' to a new world system so I can feel I have completed a task and I can take my energetic reward, instead I keep walking to correct myself as one of the bricks of this world that won't be able to not change as we insist on self change as a group, moving as One, for Self and all of Existence, Equal and One

Related articles

• Day 260: Slavery was GREAT! Why did We Abolish It, again?
• Some History of Minimum-Wage Legislation in America
• Day 183 - Wasting Food - Creating Garbage
• Day 269: Are We Forgetting Something?
• Day 261: You Can't understand Equal Money? You are So Predictable
• 111 - For Self Give

Day 260: Slavery was GREAT! Why did We Abolish It, again?

Am I not a man emblem used during the campaign to abolish slavery. The image is from a book from 1788, so there can be no effective copyright. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Go back 200 years in time. Imagine yourself the proud owner of a big plantation in the Southern side of the recently incorporated United States of America.

You live like a king, you open the windows on your property and there it is, Your Empire, you can proudly say to Your Children 'my dear, all this will be yours one day'.

Out in the garden you see your Slaves, you own them, and that is Great.

They are like the genies in the movies we made since Slavery was no longer allowed, the little creatures that can turn every wish of ours into their orders and reason to live and make them come true.

Life is easy with slaves, they do all the dirty work for you and you provide food and accommodation, plus they are just like livestock, you can loan them to friends for some time and still own them, so they are actually handier than livestock, because the fruit of their labour, either under your careful supervision and masterly management or under the one of your friends, still gives You benefits, you build up credits for their work wherever they work, whenever they work, because You Own Them.

When you own slaves your life is consequence free, you can have big homes -they'll clean them-, give big parties -they'll arrange them from procuring everything required, to cooking, to arranging flowers, seats -you are just the Master of the Game and move your pawns around as you see best to make it all happen, your Life is suddenly longer because you never have to waste time in menial tasks, you have slaves for those, you get to live a full life of leisure only, they get to live a full life of slavery at your service only, it works for you and mind you, you are a good Master, you don't beat them, you house them and feed them good, not like some of your friends that keep them sleeping on floors and are stingy when it comes to providing for them, sometimes you even allow them to eat what You eat, because you are generous and you want them to be happy slaves.

When a thought comes to your mind about what kind of lives is the one they live, you come up with reasons to justify why things are the way they are, oh, hear this one, they are BLACK, yes, this one will work, you can argue that it was God's idea to make them different for different purposes and since you are the Master by Trade they are left with the Slave jobs, but after all, wouldn't they be worse off if they didn't have a Master at all? They are like animals, they need a Shepard, they wouldn't know what to do with themselves with the education they don't have -what do you mean because we didn't provide it, we don't provide it because they are animals, simple as that-, look at what they do when they drink -what do you mean we provide the drinks on their free day? We do it for a spot of entertainment, it's them getting shit faced drunk, which proves they are just animals, innit?-, they have families but not like our families, their children are dirt poor and dirty and..animals, what could animals breed if not more animals? They were born to be my slaves, they are just lucky I own them and I am not some sick bastard that Really mistreats them, I let them go to Their Church on Sunday, no they can't come to Our Church, they have their Own God, the Black God ...they don't? Well if they pray to the White God they are just proving my point, they are Godless people, we gave them everything, even our God, they'll be able to hear first hand from Him why they were created, to serve and cherish us, the Whites, the Superior race, the Chosen Ones.

I will never let my slaves go, they'll have to kill me before I do, I own them, it's not like I am abusing them or anything, I provide everything they need to live, they are like family to me, my children -albeit retards- people who oppose slavery are just not in touch with reality and the point that some are just more worthy than others, the Whites, that's why they are Blacks, so we know who are the ones supposes to serve and cater for us, God marked them all right, it's not you can't see the difference, r you color blind?

If God wanted us all Equal, we would be all white, get that in that little head of yours.

Fast forward two centuries.

You are a Rich property owner anywhere in the world. You look out of your property window.

You live like a King. Out in the garden you see your Maids, it's great to have Maids, they do everything for you, they are lucky nowadays that they are no longer Slaves, because Slavery was Wrong, we had to abolish it, it was against Human Rights and a Crime against Humanity

Now my Maids are free, I don't own them, they can come and go as they please. Sure if they have to go somewhere they must ask my permission, just for respect you know, what if I have other plans, my plans come first because I pay them to work for me.

How much do I pay them? The minimum wage, look I am well within the Law, I give them the whole lot that has been established to be the 'right pay' for the unskilled, uneducated job they do for me and my family.

No one wants to screw with the Law, I give them an accommodation and food, I even let them eat what we eat -sometimes- and for the rest they have an average 14 hours a day job, after dinner and cleaning up they are free to do whatever they want, in their room, we gave them their own TV you know. No, no air con, who do you think I am, King Midas? Anyway summer lasts only a few months and most of the day they spend it in aircon rooms, ours, the night is short, we bought them fans, they can't complain, you know the joke 'if there is air con in the maid room, you know the boss is screwing her ?', they have a way above average life with us, some people make them sleep on floors, some people beat them. Please don't come up with the story of their families back at home, without me they wouldn't be able to even feed their families, what would be the point of spending time with them if you can't feed them plus with the money they make here they feed 10 people where they come from.

You know how much money that is? They earn more than a doctor in their country. Yes, they live here though, so what? You are looking at this all wrong, we provide for them, food and accommodation fit for a.. well, fit for a maid of a certain experience, yes they have 1 day off a week but they wouldn't know where to go anyway if they had more, ask them, don't trust me, they will tell you, they love to work anytime, they just think about workingworkingworking, they have nothing else in their little heads.

For example, when I ring the intercom at midnight for my cup of tea, they are glad I did, it's one of those little habits of ours, no, you are just assuming they may be in bed sleeping, they wait for my call, if I shouldn't call them for my cup of tea they would worry, sometime I call even when I don't want my cup of tea, I don't want them to worry, I care about them and their feelings. What? You don't know what you are talking about, if I fired them they wouldn't know where to go, they would lose their right of abode which is dependent on ME or the right to anything else they enjoy because I am their Employer, I am the One that has all the Rights and they gain them through working for me, without me they would be lost, poor and with no future.

Having Maids is not like Slavery, it's just a job with free accommodation and benefits such as....well health care, for one, when they are sick I take them to the doctor and they are free to leave when they want AND return to their country, because if they should leave they have a little time to find another employer then they must leave, but I will make sure to write such a bad reference letter they will never find a job in the whole South East Asia. They can leave anytime to go back to their life of misery in their country, that's how free they are.

We did not abolish Slavery, we just created a world where Slavery has another name: Debt, Poverty, Famine, we created the perfect conditions to be able to enslave some to do what Slaves used to do - just about anything to stay Alive.

Having a full time maid is great, I know from experience, I had one, great help, I spent part of my life experiencing what it means to have a Life-Double and a Double Life,my Life double did all the chores and anything I did not want to do, I did all the fun stuff at night and in the weekends and had the cool job during the day. I experienced myself sometime like I was now a 48 hrs a day person, someone else was living the 24 hrs a day I didn't enjoy and I kept for myself the 24 hrs I did enjoy, I could, Money gave me that power. My maid ironed my ballerina's laces, because I like tidy things and she loved to please me, it was like to be married to a loving woman, it was GREAT.

I went back to taking care of myself and my home, not on principle to start with, just because my life changed and I could no longer support my previous lifestyle nor I had reasons to do so. I have time now, I still would love to have people keeping my home spotless clean and my clothes in good order and the fridge full., I would still love to be 'married' to a loving caring woman, who wouldn't? It was convenient and it worked just fine for me, incidentally it worked fine for my maid too, she was allowed to live out, we gave her a way above minimum wage salary and she had plenty of freedom to go out and work for others too, she never made as much money as when she worked for me and my ex husband. Still, if she was born in a system of support that gave her and her family enough to live from Birth to Death we would never have crossed paths, she would have stayed happily in the Philippines, because there would have been no reason for her to go anywhere else -just to 'make a living'.

Yet, there are situations that will have t change in this world despite our preferences for a life that works just for us to move to a Life that works for All, a World that works for All.

Keeping the world in such conditions of Poverty and Famine, Need and Debt it's an Act of Malevolence that cannot be justified by our preferences and desires to be served and revered.

I got to live the best of life and someone else the worse of it, it's just wrong, my life time and my leisure time doubled because someone else's halved, quartered in fact, and in some cases reduced to nothing, I got to live the good life and left my, self defined, unpleasant tasks of taking care of myself and my environment to someone else, I could do that because where I lived the Law -written by those with Money- said I could pay this person 1 twentieth of my then wage -that's how much less than me she was worth according to the social- that- became- legal system (we know we can't consider the Law our Moral Compass in any way whatsoever if the Judicial system has been set up, designed and written by those with Money to protect those that own the whole World  Game), it was affordable, convenient and legal.

So was Slavery -and yet that did not make it right.

To change the world and make it work Equally for all, we will have to Change what we see as commodities we are entitled to, due to our Money Power, owning the lives of others in the palm of our hands IS NOT RIGHT, whatever excuses we come up with. The story I wrote above was actual real bits and pieces of conversations that I either had first hand or heard when I used to live in South East Asia, where the relationships between Employer and Maid is NO different than the relationship between Master and Slave, we just upgraded our vocabulary to make it politically correct - Not correct, it means twisted in such ways that we gave apparent rational life to arguments that were once only available and to Slave Owners, the substance has not changed, We have not changed.

The truth of the world we live is clear beyond any change of costumes, background or storytelling, if we believed Slavery to be wrong in any way, shape or form 200 years ago, we will have to face that Slavery is still wrong, changing its name is not enough, having people in this world who have No Choices but those we conveniently leave for them to live out is Slavery, we managed to make the chains no so obvious but we are still bound to the beliefs that Not All Lives have the Same Worth.

If you are born in a poor disadvantaged country, 'Money buys Freedom' not only Ours, the ones with Money, it buys the Freedom of others to, it buys out their entitlement to a Life of Dignity and Equal Choices for themselves and their children, it buys their right to a Life with No fear for the Future and how they are going to make it when their life is not guaranteed but bought, from those that have the Money to own others and their lives.

In Hong Kong there are over 300000 maids who do not benefit from the right to residenceship no matter how long they lived there, they have no access to free health care, they can't live by themselves and their free time can be managed by their Employers because the Law says 'their maids are their responsibility', they can be fed or not, they can be sexually abused or beaten for some time before they muster up the courage to go and report what they have gone through, many blame themselves and keep quiet in fear of losing their jobs/livelihood, their right to Life.

In a city of excess luxury they earn just less than 400 euro per month, when the government issued a levy on Filipino maids in 2002 -equivalent to 1/7  of their salary's worth at the time- to ease the problems of their Employers during 'recession times', people who had salaries anywhere from 10 times what their maids earned to 1000 times, welcomed the government move as sound.

When they get sick, they are for the most part sent home to die, here is an article on this topic

Help to the very end

Reyes, who started in 2007 the support group Buhay Ka for cancer victims and survivors among the thousands of Filipino domestic helpers in Hong Kong, said “more than 10 Filipino domestic helpers have come home to die” from the former British colony in recent years.

“They’re lucky if their employer supports them—we’ve had cases of Hong Kong employers helping until the very end—but others terminate their domestic helpers even if it’s still Stage 1 or Stage 2 cancer, which is still curable,” Reyes said.

Treatment is finished

Filipino domestic helpers in Hong Kong who are stricken with cancer try to hold on to their jobs especially since the city has a socialized health care system, and medical treatment, like chemotherapy, is relatively cheaper there compared to that in Manila.

“Ampaguey fought so hard to stay in Hong Kong for her cancer treatment but her employer terminated her. She is now very weak,” Reyes said.

“She was able to stay longer in Hong Kong because our consulate asked the authorities there to allow her to continue with her treatment. But now that that’s finished, she’s coming home to an uncertain future,” he said. 

Why is this not Slavery or better than? Isn't this what was possible to do with slaves, strip them of all their rights or even better, don't give them any at all, have them tied to their Masters for their livelihood and their right to exist, and then, cherry on the cake, have them wash and iron our clothes for the Charity Ball, where we'll go and display How Good We Are to those that are as Good as We Are, Slave Owners not with a conscience but a pile of fucking good excuses about why we have the right to do what we do.

We'll never be able to have our cake and eat it too, time to wake up to this truth, if our cake is the only one available for all and we plan to not share it and leave only the crumbles for others to enjoy, which is what we are doing at the moment by taking the top layers of everything, the best lives, the best experiences, the best of everything for ourselves alone, without seeing that if we corrected all the layers of this cake to share, no one would have to endure shitty lives anymore, and yes that would mean to give up some unjust privileges, given to us just by the luck of where we were born, which is not in any way enough to define who we are, unless we accept to be defined by what we own and possess, ending up Possessed by our Possessions to the point of giving up Common Sense and what we know is right, because if it is not Right for All, not working for All, it's just Not Right.

We are the ones that will have to define who we are, Humanity or Abusers of Life and this was always The Only Choice we had to make, Life for All or Self Interest as Good Living for myself alone? Life for All or the delusion of Life just for Me?

We didn't do too well so far, we can see how many people are living dis-grace-full lives every day so we can have the life of our Dreams, what if we woke up and changed the course of this World to steer it back to Equality and a world that works for all, wouldn't that be the end of Damn-Nation, the place where we confine some into Dis-Grace and Con-Damn them to lives we would never want to live.

We are rewriting a system for Equality and Justice for All, this Planet is the Home of All of us, no one is more or less entitled to Life than another, nor to privileges that make the life of another a Living Hell.

Can you keep your Maid in a system of Equality? NO

Not even if they are happy with you? NO.

No, because they are 'happy' as the result of the limited abusive choices they have access to, you are just the lesser of the many Evils FOR NOW, but when the tables will turn and they'll have access to the choices and options You have access to, will they choose You or life with their Family?

Will they choose to get up from bed and make your cup of tea or iron your Charity Ball Clothes or to see their grandchildren grow up? Freaking tough choices as you can see, hard to imagine where the preferences of Free people would lean...

Life will exist for All only when we give it Equally to All as We Would like it, so we stop asking others to do things we wouldn't want to do ourselves, we drop all excuses as to why a worthless piece of paper entitles us to do so, instead we Stand, united as One, to create a world where the Life choices available to All are All Good; that will mean using technology and advancing inventions that we now don't care for because we have humans to do the lousy jobs, and it will mean each one will make themselves self responsible for their own living to allow the World to become a Self Responsible World, as the Image and Likeness of Who we Are, and this farce of Existence of Have and Have Nots will end, as All will Have. and in that giving Life to Each other as Creators of Life and not of Abuse, All will have Life -as Life, Equal and One.

Join us, the Change is Here, Be A Part of It.

Related articles

• Slavery Footprint: How many slaves work for me? 32 to be exact
• Human Sweatshops will END in Equal Money Capitalism - Day 275
• Charity and Activism - why is it a Capitalistic Scheme - Overview - Day 293
• Day 232: Capitalism Caste System - Better than the Indian One?
• Child labour in a System of Totalitarian control Will END in Equal Money Capitalism - Day 277
• Slavery Haunts America's Plantation Prisons
• The Irish Slave Trade - The Forgotten "White" Slaves. . . another bit of history they didn't teach us . . . ~J
• Slavery Still Exists

Day 244: Immigration - Only SuperHeroes and the Rich are Welcome

I have taken up teaching Italian to foreigners at one of our 'No School - Schools' Projects.

These projects are born outside of the curricula of the Ministry of Education because Immigrants are not Natives and as such they are not entitled to an Education, never mind a free one.

Yet, without them learning to speak Italian they won't be able to integrate in the system, obviously, that would be The Purpose, to Not have them integrate, because they are not Natives, they are Alter-Natives, people who just happened to be born somewhere else where incidentally they don't have enough to live or support their families.

We want to stress the 'incidentally' point, we insist it's an accident that Third World exists, they are just developing, longest incubation ever to take place, unseen anywhere in nature, they were developing when I was born and still busy at it, please read HOW did we manage to keep them there through History - international Trade Agreements are not Secret Service Documents and are available online, the terms of what we made them agree to -to make sure they would not develop and served us as Slaves- will make you weep.

So, back to the Alter-Natives, left with no alternatives but to migrate somewhere else, this is why they do it, who wants to leave their Homeland and often their families behind to move somewhere else, possibly somewhere where you are Not welcomed and you are even looked at as a thief of jobs and opportunities of the apparently "Entitled Natives", who believe their Birth gives them more Right to a chance to Life, sorry you were born on the wrong side of Capitalism, pray to God, accept your place, starve to death, you'll may be luckier in your next Life.

Amazingly we see some sense in this, we don't even consider how we too would move and migrate to try and Live if our chances for a Life were limited, but the point is that we are tightening the noose around the necks of everyone deliberately to ignite the flame of our Fear of Survival so we'll be kept in place and moved to hate our neighbors, solving on behalf of our governments the problem of support for the Alter-Natives, WE are the ones demanding that it shall not be given, no matter what this will cost them.

So we have now a network of schools that are self sustained and have sprung up in the most unlikely places to support this reality that is not going away, no matter how much we wish it away or pray for it to go away.

We use political parties headquarters in the evenings or social centers for a nominal fee, not even too nominal if you consider some classroom fetch up to 8000 euro a year and have to be paid through money raised by the community. There is no teaching material provided either, the results is that some 4 years after they start school, their Italian is still limping and broken and no matter how they look, we KNOW they are not Natives, it seems imperative to keep them separate in everything, from language to housing, to the point that we have ghettos that have spontaneously come to life while the municipalities look elsewhere, look at how to forbid the construction of another mosque to protect our rights to worship a Man who said that we should love each other and give to each other what we would like to receive, we forgot the teachings to hold on to the cross and we have fights about our Right to have One in each and every classroom, to scare the kids, to tell them that they'll be crucified for wanting Equality for All, while we fail to see the living cross where we put these people everyday through not giving access to them to 'our' society, we call them 'marginalized' a bit like our system, it seems it's "the system" that is doing all this ugly stuff to people and not ourselves, when in fact the System is nothing but the sum of All its Parts, and This System, We The System create centre places for the Rich with outer margins for the Poor and unwelcomed of our society.


On issues of Migration, Historically, we have liked to pick and choose, Americans are ALL Migrants -with an obvious short memory- in the land of the Natives the American Indians, who ended up confined into handkerchiefs of land and convinced to sell the rest of the Land, AS IF the land could be sold and bought, but that's another point of Capitalism we are too lost to even see, how can everyone's Land belong to anyone? Then we did in Australia, there the Aborigines were not even 'paid' for their land, they were just deleted through violence, rapes and alcohol, and what Genes to build a New World on. We skipped the 'Illegal Immigrants' labels because these countries were Colonized - aka Stolen, no wonder we make of Debates such a key point of our society, we have proved to be able to debate the un-debatable to be able to prove a point beyond any reasonable common sense and then we happily change history and history books and make movies about the New Official Acceptable Reality to portray, we put the Indian on horses after the 'scalp' of the white educated men -hihi- and scare the shit out of kids, showing them the Evilness of the Natives and how we moved in and saved the day, thankgodforthat.

We pick and choose WHO is a Welcome immigrant and who is not, when I lived in Hong Kong I was a welcomed immigrant, they gave me permanent residence after 7 years without batting an eyelid, Filipino helpers instead are Not, they can never be granted residence-ship, meaning never ever, no matter how long they lived there, even when they marry a Chinese -that has found now ways to capitalize on that too- so many years have to go by before she can have the permanent residence-ship card, we want the rich immigrants, not the poor ones, even when the poor ones are holding up a whole society, if the Filipino/Sri Lankans, Indonesian maids all walked out of Hong Kong together in their modest 5% of the population, Hong Kong would fall apart, they are the real structure of society and what holds it all together.

Instead, we let the Rich Immigrants in because we Hope they will bring wealth to the country, Gerard Depardieau may soon be an Immigrant in Russia, president Putin himself handed him a passport, it's a high profile case that may lure other disgruntled Rich who want to flee their new tax regime, that incidentally is proposed to try and avoid the French to become Migrants and the Poor to have a fairer share of the Big Pie some are choking on and would rather chocke on before they shared it.

Ah yes, and we like flying, crawling, burning and freezing Superheros, no one ever questioned Superman about his Green Card, he spoke the language, had enough Money to support himself and was after the Evil Ones, from Krypton you say, well, no one from Krypton needs a Green Card, K?

If we as the system pieces stood up for another kind of world, we wouldn't have any Migration at all, Migration is a phenomenon born out of Need, Migrants are Not tourists, they are not Here to learn about art or renaissance, they are here to Make a Living that we don't grant to each other unconditionally because we are too busy to make sure "I' get to live and that if you die, well, can you please die in Your Own Country, why do you come to My Country and then try and make me feel Guilty for how Your Life has turned out?

You should have worked harder, if you were not Lazy you would have built wealth for Yourself, this is the promise of Capitalism, everyone can make it, just work hard, you must want to become Rich, if you didn't, you did not want it hard enough, you didn't put your all into it, don't lie, if you did, you wouldn't be here.

Immigration is a slap in our faces as a society, when we talk to these people what we realize is that no one of our pre-conceived ideas about them are true, they are hard working individuals, they care for the same things we care for, they love their families, their children, want for them a batter life, come to school even after a slave day at work, or after having looked for work that nobody gives them because they can't even speak Italian properly, they want to contribute to society, they just don't get the 'fair' chance, we make sure about that, starting with locking them out of our language because God Forbid, if they started to talk and we discovered they are just as Human as we are, what would we do with our delusions about a fair system with Equal Opportunities? Shove it up?

Isn't it interesting that we can't close our eyes in the face of Immigration, they stand right on our path, in our streets, in the small shops they open catering to 'their own' while we moan and bitch about what they are stealing from us, a piece of our Right to Live because their BirthPlace said they were Not Entitled to it, couldn't they take the hint? Why do they insist on wanting to Live, don't they have some dignity to just die without bothering others while they do so, why do they wish us to watch them live those inferior lives, troublemakers that's what they are, I can't go anywhere now without seeing 'those people' everywhere, where is My freedom to Not Look? Bad bad mannered people.

We have One Planet, but not one Common Plan for All, if we did, everyone would get to enjoy their homeland, the security of a Life that is given to All and not catered just for some, they wouldn't have to take the lowest jobs that our rich societies have left for the minorities, milking their desire and need to do 'whatever it takes' to survive at 'whatever price'.

Within an Equal Money System Life will be given to All, Equally, Capitalism is being rewritten to have integrity, to create a society of willing participants and not slaves, then we won't have to move if not out of Choice, Need will stop being the Motivating Force of this unjust existence and countries all over will be First Class Countries and no where we will have Third World slums and squatters because Life will be honored above Profit and the Motive to Move the World will be wanting a world that works for everyone Equally vs the 'as long as it works for me' world that we created and turned into the Amazing Disgrace we can see wherever we dare to look.

If you see that Immigration is a problem of our accepted and allowed Abusive System of Self Interest and Greed that is created to make some More than Others and their Right to Life more than the Right to Life of Every Living Being, join Equal Money, spread the news, support the coming of a new system where the Life of All will be Equally honored and the Dis-Grace of the Poor Migrants will be addressed at the root cause of Migration, the Basic Human Right of the Right to Life for All.

Related articles

• Greek islands faced with fresh wave of illegal Muslim migrants
• How and why Sweden became multicultural
• U.S. Gov't's Denial of Mexican immigrant's dying wish to see parents is a form of cruelty unworthy of the US
• Immigration is British society's biggest problem, shows survey of public
• Ignorance is Bliss in America
• Day 237: Capital-Lie-ism - The Lies We Tell Each Other
• Day 205: Mafia "X" Factor or Equal Money ?
• Day 232: Capitalism Caste System - Better than the Indian One?
• Day 191: Mind Control - The Dark Side of "Hope"
• Equal Money: We want the Best Life for YOU. Do You?

Day 117: It Could/Should Have Been Me - Character

Yesterday I went onto Linkdln to catch up with some requests for Connections. As I did that I took the Option to check who was on it of the people "I used to Know". The Past tense applies because I have not kept in touch with anybody from my past Life in Hong Kong after my big dream to move to Thailand and get rich with LOA and accumulating knowledge and information about Energy Healing deflated into the realization that oopsie, there is something really weird going on with the world  which then led me to Desteni.

On the page of people that I used to know I found 2 of my girlfriends, One when she first moved to Hong Kong from Italy wrote to me at my office asking for a job, which I could not give her because we were a tiny Rep Office but told her to not give up and keep looking, the second was one of my students of Italian, a very dedicated Chinese student that almost mastered the language within 6 months. Both of these women are hard working dedicated professionals, yet when I saw them now covering the position of Managing Director One and Regional Manager (which would be the equivalent but extended to a whole region such as Asia Pacific) I had a reaction, the first reaction was jealousy as I see them living the life I wanted to live and gave up for nothing, the second was looking for reasons why I was in truth better than them and "it should have been Me" covering those positions, regardless to the point that when I did cover that position I threw it away as I went following the delusions of my Mind achieving the total disconnection from reality..and that was about All I achieved. This is NOT the first time that I have seen myself embody this Character, which is spiteful and hateful and will do anything to take others down just about to the level where I experience myself within a comparison that is something I am doing all by myself and that doesn't even want to recognize that my friends have put in the time and the consistency to build themselves where they are now, and that being efficient within the system requires the time and consistency that I never wanted to put in because I was too arrogant to abide by the rules of the system that I have participated in creating through my ow acceptances and allowances of such a world where positions of responsibility are given to those that are willing to play by the rules and not to those who scuff and snubb the rules believing to be above them only to regret the lightness and delusion awith which they lead their lives as the One that is Above it All.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel uncomfortable when I saw 2 of my friends on Linkdn covering position of responsibility and for thinking 'it could have been me, it should have been me'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel jealous as I projected within my mind the lives they were living in Hong Kong, comparing them to mine having to start again from scratch, when "It could have been me/should have been me" having the easy life that I pictured they are having now

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deny to myself that I felt jealous because I don't want to admit to jealousy as something I participate in but something I am above to, as I don't want to see what I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in as comparison and competition with other women for position of responsibility within the working world

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to move into the nasty character looking for the 'imaginary faults of my friends' so I could take them down to the level of inferiority I was allowing myself to experience myself as, wishing to no longer feel inferior to them through fault finding, instead than addressing my own experience of inferiority through my own comparison and competition and stopping myself through breathing, self forgiveness and self corrective application

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stew for some time within the feelings of inferiority that then led me to desire to compete and take my friends down within the nasty character, instead of addressing immediately what I saw clearly that was going on with me and stopping myself with breath to not allow myself to move into comparison and competition as I know that when I allow myself to play the comparison and competition game I will be nastily looking for other's faults that can give me an edge and a reason to believe that it could have been me/should have been me and the do not deserve what they got

I forgive myself for accepting and alowing myself to create this character of 'It could have been me/it should have been m' when I started to compete for the love and attention of my mother, who was displaying affection and gentlenes to the friends I invited at home and not to me, and while she explained to me that she did it because their mum was not around to do it for them, she would refrain it from doing it to me, to not make my friends feel bad for not having their mum around and so I would retreat inside myself thinking that 'it should have been me/it could have been me' if I just could have done more, or something different that would have to be praisd regardless of my friend's mums not being around and so I would inside myself feel like a failure that I could not do enough, good enough. well enough, to make my mum's praise and gentle touch impossible to not be given regardless of my friends

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop this competition side with women for attention and praise, because all the friends I would take home were girls with which I competed for the attention and the love of my mum, fearing that she loved them more than me and that she would rather have them as her child than me, always comparing me to them just to come out the loser everytime my mum would give or do for them what should have been given to me, what could have been given to me if I just could have been more, nicer, more loveble, more special than my girlfriends and with this fear of not being enough, not good enough I imprinted my life and created a Character that always seek to be good enough, more than good, better than to secure my position as someone who deserves to be praised and loved and accepted in fear that I would have to experience myself again as the second choice, B class, pity it was you my daughter and not this one or that one

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I was never good enough as I perceived myself to not be my mum's favorite but just the daughter she had and had to accept, and within this belief I accepted as real I believed that I had to do more, be more special, original, unique to conquer that elusive Love that I wanted just for myself without having to compete with other kids for it, and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to this thought that became a belief and turned into a Character that I ended up automating every time I participate in the thought 'it could have been me/it should have been me'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not Love and accept myself unconditionally at all times while I separated myself within an existence as Characters and missed out on myself Here as Breath as Life as my unconditional unrelenting Self support

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that my mum was passing on to me her history, as a child that had not been wanted by her mother, and so she would not do to other children what it was done to her, as being left as second choice within someone's home by their mother and have them Fear that they were not wanted, and that noone has been aware or has been instructed on what it means to have children and NOT passing on to them our history, Fears and unresolved feelings and emotions and that we need proper education for parents to give their children the proper instructions on how to grow up as effective human beings that can in fact love one another and not compete for imaginary good feelings in fear of negative emotions


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel ashamed because of what I did when I had made myself sick through my own participation within and as the mind and the subsequent suppression through Pot abuse, instead of telling myself that the Past is Over and I can only correct myself now by stopping the Self Abuse of taking myself again and again through everything I believe I have done wrong in my life

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel ashamed as a way to square the books of my self defined bad behavior, instead of stopping all definitions of my behavior as good or bad and just moving as the correction of myself that I am rewriting and walking in every breath

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to regret the choices I have made because I have thought and told myself that if I had not made those choices now I would be financially stable and able to help and support more the cause of Equality, instead of seeing and realizing I am using the cause of Equality as the rightful reason to just bash and abuse myself which means I am NOT in fact stopping the self abuse for which I forgive myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not stop the abuse of myself as the judgements and regrets of my past decision instead of standing as the decision that The Past is Over and that the 'if onlys' of my Life have to go for me to be able to stand Here in and as Breath and stop all self loathing for who and what I have been and have done in the past within my Character Play

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to play nasty toward women when competing with them, because while I have somehow accepted that I cannot compete with men in the workplace, because they are men and they get to always have the bigger slice of the cake, I have turned into competing with women where I see more chances to win and make it to the podium where I can show that 'I am better then them', instead of being supportive of other women as myself as we walk together out of our accepted and alloweed Inequality of the workplace

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compete with the ones that I perceive to be the weakest because I want to maximize my chances to win and be more and the best and so I would not go into competition where I believe I would lose and therefore I define myself as not competitive, while I secretly compete where the opportunity to make another less than me is clear and non debatable, because my fear to lose is so great as I fear the diminishment of myself that I would only take on the ones that I perceive and believe I can win against so I can feel more than them and find some value for myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that value is found within the winning and losing competition, wherein I have accepted that some have to lose for some to win, and within this I have supported the whole system of control of winning and losing within the desire to always be the winner and the one on top

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fail to see that whatever competition I am participating with I must be in Character and not in Breath, as I need the Data of a Character to be able to compare and compete with other Characters, instead of stopping myself with and as Breath and consistently bring myself Here, out of all comparison and competition for myself and all of existence as What is best for All


I commit myself to stop my existence as the 'it should have been me/it could have been me ' Character as I see realize and understand it is a Character that I have played out of a frozen memory that was charged with sorrow and jealousy that I perceived to be real and Who I really am, while I see realize and understand that as I accepted this thought One and equal as me, I accepted the whole truckload of emotions and feelings that came with it and then layered them inside of me into a Character that is Not who I really Am as Life but just a Role I played within this Game of Characters

I commit myself to expose to myself how as the thought 'it could have been me/it should have been me' comes up inside of me or is about to come up, I can stop, breathe, no longer accept myself as this thought and the emotions and feelings relative to this thought as I consistently stand to correct myself to walk out of this character once and for all until I stand corrected

I commit myself to not follow this thought as I know that it leads into the desire for comparison and competition to uphold the point that I am more deserving, better and that it should in fact have been me and could have been me..if only, instead I expose to myself the worthlessness of such train of thoughts to support myself to stop my existence in and as the Character of 'It could have been me/it should have been me' once and for all

I commit myself to stop myself from existing as the nastiness of comparison and competition and to stop justifying WHY I should compare myself to others just to make this 'one small point' as I see realize and understand that comparison is always about winning and the desire to win, belittling others to minimize my own experience of myself as diminished, worthless, not good enough and that this point shows me that it is the stopping of my own accepted and allowed self judgements that must take place through consistent breathing and NOT the comparison as the belittlement of others in any way shape or form, which is unacceptable

I commit myself to show myself that every time I engage within and as this thought and its derivatives, I am in fact not Here, because this thought lives in and off the Past, and when I am Here in and as Breath, there is nothing to compare myself to as I do not exist of the Past within the past but of Breath Here in and as the potential of Birthing myself as Life for myself and All of existence, Equal and One

I commit myself to remind myself consistently that The Past is Over, until I really get it, by consistently remind myself to come back HERE, to breathe as Life is HERE and The Past is Really, Really OVER.

Related articles

• Day 69: Perceptual Character Self Forgiveness Statements continued...

Day 25: Still in Hong Kong, not Here yet

I have lived in Asia for 17 years, when I write 17 it seems yesterday that I left Italy and not possible that 17 years went by in what seems just a few Breaths.

I can say that because before meeting Desteni I was not breathing much but I didn't know until I tried the 4 counts breath and discovered I owned nothing of me, not even my Breath.

As a Group we are investigating what pre-occupies our Minds all day, so we can delete the pre-occupations and gain Capacity to see and learn what reality is really about, as like in every 'information system', once 'information overload' is reached, the hard drive Capacity is diminished, this is why when people age, they lose the ability to 'remember', remembering as in memory capacity is not an ability, it is just a storage system, in which we file everything in picture form, missing out on the Life of Breaths that we could be living if we were not pre-occupied with something else.

One of my demons in my mind is Hong Kong, I have already applied Self Forgiveness on this topic, but not effectively obviously, as memories still run randomly within my mind during the day, where I find many pictures to associate to Hong Kong pictures filed in my mind, and they come up usually with a feeling of nostalgia or regret, for something that was and will never be again, I miss who I was, the personality I embodied in Hong Kong, the water, the harbour, living on the sea, the lifestyle, the food, the vitality of the city, funny, I don't miss the people, except maybe for Michele, my friend who was a partner in a few restaurants by the time I left, I missed the relationship we could have tried if both of us had not been so busy pretending to be and want something else.

If I have to pick one word to define Hong Kong and pinpoint where the problem of this hole I perceive I have left from this experience is, it would be 'excitement', a feeling of being alive, not that I was alive, but Hong Kong with all its lights and busy streets could give me this feeling, I miss the feeling of being alive, useful, a productive member of a society in which I made good money and felt satisfied by my place in the world.

Before the 8 years I spent in Hong Kong I was 5 years in Singapore, Singapore went over my head, I have almost no memories, even though when I want to torment myself about the past, even Singapore will do, and even Thailand, a place where I lived for 4 years after Hong Kong in a semi sleepy state, where I had a few friends and nothing else, Thailand was a parking space, where I retired myself in and as the belief that I better be close to the fasting place where I could take care of the consequences of my life of abuses, having given up on myself and my ability to change.

Today I looked for the point to let go, or Self For-give about Hong Kong, and I can sum them up in bullet point to help myself see more clearly:

• the belief that when I was there I was alive because I felt the excitement of the city, meaning I miss the energy of Hong Kong as a way to drive myself to live/exist
• the belief that I was happier there than here, meaning I still live into a polarity of happiness/sadness that I need to self correct
• the regret for having left my 'productive place' within the system back there and have to start from scratch again to find ways to make a living
• the fear that I may lose my permanent residenceship and be kicked out of the Hong Kong system, where I felt secure I could do anything and always provide for myself
• regret for having left when I could have kept a very well paid job, just because of my Ego
• the fear of going back there and having to start from scratch providing for myself inside a very expensive city
• the fear f having to face my friends with whom I shared the Nostradamus forecast of Hong Kong being destroyed and asked them to leave the city, just to show off my new knowledge and information
• missing Michele
• having felt jealous today when my ex helper wrote to me she is getting her passport done as she found a new job in Hong Kong and she is moving back from the Philippines to Hong Kong, and I wished it would be me, even though she needs a job way more than me as she supports a lot of people in the Philippines, yet I could not be completely glad for her as I became busy with regret and jealousy.

So on with my Self Forgiveness to give myself back to myself from these points of Separation:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I was alive because I felt excited by a city I lived in as a place that gave me a motivation to 'live and be alive'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to need to be alive through an external  motivation, instead of living in and as Breath in every moment, One and Equal to Life

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to miss the excitement that a city provided for me in terms of energy as a reason to be and feel alive

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am not the same now that I lack the excitement of a city filled with the energy of Money and Sex on which I fed off to be and feel alive

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel alive in relationship to Money and my ability to make money in Hong Kong as a reason to feel satisfied, fulfilled and energized

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I was happier in Hong Kong than in Italy, instead of seeing I was happier because I had access to the Money system that I have accepted and allow myself to define myself and my worth

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that happiness is important and that it is real

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live in a delusional world of feelings and emotions, hoping to get to experience the good side of the energy polarity disregarding others who will have to live out the negative side that I do not want to experience myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Happy in Hong Kong and Sad in Italy within a Money polarity game in which I define myself according to where I can make Money=Happy and where I cannot=Sad

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compromise myself through selling out to a polarity system of excitement hoping to live out value in separation from myself as Self Worth/Value

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am two different people, a successful one in Hong Kong and a loser in Italy, because I have accepted and allowed myself to step back into what I left behind in Italy which was the Mind construct of a Loser because in Italy I did not have access to the Money System with the same ease I could access it in Hong Kong, instead of realizing that it was the bigger Inequality of Asia that allowed me to have more success there and that to live out my desire I have been participating and supporting a system of Inequality because it worked for me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to regret, re-feel the fear of having to start again from scratch when I have proved to myself many times that I could

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to miss the times when my life was safe and guaranteed for in terms of my ability to make money, instead of realizing that I have missed something that worked just for myself while I lived in a place where the Inequality allowed me to have the upper hand on the weaker ones in society

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel guilty regarding my life in Hong Kong when I realized the only reason why I was better off there than in Italy was because there were others worse off, yet I still wished to be back there and have MY life work for me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to be good through charity and treating others nicely, while I lived Inequality as My Right, as long as my life worked for me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept support and praise the Inequality of the Hong Kong system for my own personal gain over other nationalities who were 'worth less' within the Monetary Value System

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing my Permanent Residenceship in Hong Kong because I still 'hope' to go back there one day and live a better life than the one I am living in Italy

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge a life better or worse according to experiences that are related to Money and Money making ability, instead of seeing Life One and Equal in everyone and Everyone's Right to a dignified Life

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to regret having left Hong Kong and a well paid job because of my Ego because I resent having to walk the manifested consequences of my behaviour

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resent walking the manifested consequences of my thoughts, words and deeds, instead of standing up and walking my self responsibility starting with everything I am aware I have manifested into existence

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for the fear I feel about going back to Hong Kong where I would have to face starting from scratch and everything I left behind

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear facing my friends with whom I shared the Nostradamus predictions about Hong Kong being destroyed and having asked them to leave the city to show off my new knowledge and information and for desiring that it did in fact happen so I could be right and get back face for myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wish a catastrophe on an entire city out of spitefulness because I dislike others being there to enjoy it while I am stuck in Italy

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear having lost credibility just because Hong Kong has not yet been destroyed instead of seeing I fear I have lost the credibility of myself due to all the bullshit I have spread around about LOA and how to use feelings and emotions as a guidance system

I forgive myself for the misinformation I have spread about existence while I was looking to understand how everything worked and I wanted to share with others how they could uplift themselves out of this shithole, once I found out I could pick and choose thoughts and therefore emotions and feelings

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge existence as a shithole, instead of acknowledging this is my creation and judging it a shithole won't help, I see this existence is not what is best for All and needs realignment and I am working on realigning myself and existence will follow being the mirror of myself and my inner world

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to miss Michele in separation from myself as to mean that when I had a chance to have a relationship with him I did not because I gave more value to the image of myself and how I wanted to 'look' as a strong woman who was not interested in men, instead of being clear about what I really wanted to experience, instead I had to go through all this suppression while he ended up marrying a woman I detested because I thought that if she did not come 'between us' we may have had a chance

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think his relationship will not last, as a way to give myself a back door of hope that you never know, maybe one day, we'll get to live that experience

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to invest myself into potential experiences of the mind as a way to gain value/worth for myself through the 'idea' that I could have had Michele for myself if I wanted and expressed it

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel jealous that my ex helper V. is going back to Hong Kong, feeling as she took my more 'worthy' place back into Hong Kong, even though she really needs the job for practical physical support of herself and others in the Philippines while I would get the job as a way to feed my Ego and my Life of Energy and Experiences

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for feeling jealous of V. and for thinking that there is no end to my disgusting behaviour even toward someone I said and believed, I loved sincerely

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be disgusted at myself and for believing that disgust is real and not just an experience of me as the mind, based on my own judgements of myself as disgusting

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself and others as disgusting for what I can see is the lenghth to which we are willing to go to profit and win, no mater who gets hurt or damaged along the way to my victory

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to file pictures and experiences about Hong Kong in my mind as a way to keep myself preoccupied with something that has been and is not HERE and I now wish to let go as there is no need or purpose to these pictures floating in me as the Mind if not to entice my participation in and as the Past which is now gone and I want to get back Here where Life is and stop being There which is not real and is not serving any purpose for myself, is not what is Best for Me or What is best for All

When and as I see myself desiring or about to desire to lose myself into memories of Hong Kong, I stop, Breathe, remind myself I have self forgiven myself and I don't want to invalidate my self forgiveness through engaging again in the Hong Kong State of Mind, so I breathe and keep stopping myself until I am Here and no longer in Hong Kong

When and as I see myself judging myself because images of Hong Kong pop up into my Mind, I stop, Breathe, remind myself that Hong Kong is just another State of Mind and I am working to become stable Here in and as Breath, so it won't matter where I live as it will be Who I am that determines my Life experience for what is Best fr me and What is best for All,  and not Where I am

I commit myself to bring myself back Here consistently, utilizing Breath and standing as Self Will, becoming the Self Directive principle that decides Who I want to be, as Life, One and Equal, rewriting myself in and as What is Best for All, deleting everything else that is not Life and is of separation and not of Oneness and Equality.