I have noticed that sometimes when I hop into my Mind it is because I don't have the patience to just be Here and Breathe. Breathing Here doesn't seem so much fun or so much of "an experience", nothing happens, I am just Here breathing, so what?
And yet this is how we were born, Here, Breathing, seemed good enough at birth to take our First Breath, we gasped for it, people around a new born get frantic when they are not breathing, no one tries to have them engaged in Mind Games, we get it, without Breath there is No Life.
So the idea of Breathing Here being Not Enough must be sold to us as we grow up to have us all participate in this system, we are sold the idea that Life is the buying of experiences for oneself, possibly the best available experiences, the most exclusive-not just any experience and we are kept 'buying' through the FEAR of the other kind of Experiences we could be having without Money, so we make sure we'll do whatever it takes to get our hands on the Money that will allow us to buy a Life of MEANingful experiences, this is what keeps the system of Consumerism going, we seek for experiences outside of ourselves to define ourselves, to give MEANing to Life, because we have made Life itself into nothing and into Not Enough and hence we have condemned ourselves to this search for Real Life into delusions of our Minds, mistaking Life for emotional experiences where we 'feel something' like we 'feel alive' because if we don't 'feel alive' we must be dead.
It's weird that we could believe such thing, because we are here, alive, breathing, but if being here breathing is Not Enough, if we made it not Enough, we then set out on an impossible search that at best leads to unhappiness and at worse to grave mental problems as we compare our Life experiences - that we mistook for life- with the ones advertised or trumpeted in Hollywood Movies or books written for the purpose to show us what life should be and why we should engage ourselves to make it one of Those ways, if we want to be successful and make it and basically, Be Alive.
So, one point I see for myself is how I seek the Mind to validate the point that I am Alive by giving myself something 'to feel' about, which is not relevant in which direction, even fear will do, all it's better than the Nothingness of Breath, when in fact it's me that defined Breath as Nothing and Life something I have to buy for myself.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that the Physical reality is boring and that spending time in my Mind is way more exciting than just living in and as Breath
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to buy into Ideas and Believes about Life being the sum of my experiences and as such for living seeking for the next experience, planning the next experience, remembering the last experience I enjoyed, turning the here breathing into something boring, obnoxious, too slow to be bearable, when in my mind I could be racing into many different experiences at once, while in breath I would have to walk myself breath by breath into anything I set out to do in and as the physical and I believed I didn't have the patience for it
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I don't have the patience to Breathe and be Here in and as Breath, as that would mean I don't have the patience to be Alive and for accepting and allowing myself to define living as the experiences of me as the Mind of memories, thoughts, emotions and feelings, I forgive myself
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to, when walking and breathing think 'this is boring, this is not enough' and then give myself license to get off into my mind to just entertain myself with planning future experiences, remembering past experiences, all the while accepting and allowing myself to believe that breathing Here is Not Enough, not good enough, not exciting enough, boring and for turning Life as Breath into a boring "activity" because there is no energetic experience for me to ride, I forgive myself
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that this is a process and that if it came 'natural' to me to just breathe and stop my participation in the Mind, I wouldn't be stuck in and as the Mind as the result of a process of accumulation of beliefs about what Life is as an energetic experience, and that I will have to live the patience to keep bringing myself back to breath in the face of the perception of being 'unnatural' to be out of my Mind, because I see realize and understand that I have always and only lived as the Mind and it will take time to accumulate breathing into who I am as stable self directive principle
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel discouraged because I only last a few breaths before some thought catches my attention and off I go, only to catch myself not breathing yet again and having to push myself back to breathing and out of the Mind just because the Mind is the place I am most familiar with and I dread having to walk away from my comfort zone and learn a new way to exist
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to buy for myself the experience of Life, which is what makes me feel unable to move when I don't have money
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that Life is an experience I have to buy for myself and that if I can't buy for myself the experiences I have imagined were the ones I had to shoot for to give my life a meaning and a purpose, then I am not even alive but idle, waiting for the experiences I have defined as Life to manifest while I miss out on being here in Breath because I accepted and allowed myself to define Life as Breathing as Not Enough
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to sell myself as Breath out for the purpose of gaining energy experiences in and as the Mind, where I could be the imaginary Characters of my own play, instead of walking consistently to build myself into Life in and as the Physical as the realignment to Oneness and Equality for myself and All of Existence, Equal and One
When and as I see myself becoming fidgeting because 'I am just breathing', I stop, bring myself back into the physical, see realize and understand that this is a process and as it took me time to build myself into Characters in and as the Mind that feed off energetic charges, I will have to walk in time as Breath to be able to appreciate the simplicity of Life as Breath vs Life as Near Life experiences that were sold to me and I bought to make myself more than just Breath
When and as I see myself moving or about to move into boredom, I see realize and understand it is me as the Mind seeking for an energetic experience and that I have a choice to not participate and validate the Mind as the Superior Experience vs Life Here in and as Breath and that it is the sum of these choices in which I will choose Life over the Mind that will build my stability as I keep bringing myself back here consistently until I am One and Equal to Breath
I commit myself to identify the points I have given power to as me as The Mind to take myself back from each one through Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Application until I can stand in and as the stability of Breath, for myself and All of Existence Equal and One.
