Day 90: The Memory Dealer Character

Through the blog I wrote yesterday I saw this point of memories, what they really are and what I/we use them for.

Memories are Characters activators, they are triggers that I/we Us to Shoot Each Other back in Time, back into the Character we wish to play with or a Character that we have identified can be triggered and manifested ad hoc through the presentation of a Memory

Is this a Friendly Game ? Noooo, it is meant just like it is written Foever,

It is a toxic malignant Game  that we prepare throughtout our Lives to embody as the best Players, for this we have to accumulate the biggest number or memories, accurately check which ones are connected to which thought processes and which emotions will be recalled once they will be dealt on the Memory Game Table.

It is infact ruthless, it is our Con-Damnation to Hell, what keeps us and others in place, within Characters, it is what shapes kids into the Demons that they will have to embody to live in this world, ruthless, going for the 'imaginary' core issues of each one of us, as Characters,  it is meant to diminish, bring the opponent down, back into a place from where we feel comfortable confronting him/her.

And It starts in the FamiLie, where we are fed the memories of who we apparently were but don't remember, where all our Characters have a rating of acceptance and likeability, where the first Character Pop Charts start and are implemented for Life.

We are each others' memory keepers, later we become each others' Memory Dealers.

I am a Memory dealer, I have used memories to put people right back where I have decided they belong, filing their mistake and Secrets as memories, ammunition for our future confrontations.

This characters has the following entry lines:

Do you remember...

You said...

You told me once...

Last time I saw you...

I'll never forget the time...

I never said, did, thought ...

I thought you said/thought/meant...

These lines are introductions to the memories that are about to be dealt, each memory is filed under a 'purpose file', it can be retaliation, to prove a point, to show that I was always right from the start but it was not acknowledged at the time and hereisyourchance, to dismiss another point invalidating others' stance and themselves based on a time when..., just out of spite, yet the Main Purpose of this Character is to keep everyone in Character, including myself as the Dealer of Memories as each Character protects its own existence above all other Characters.

The Hidden Agreement between Characters to Perpetuate the Lie of the Illusion is “I’ll Support your Character if you Support my Character – therefore, we are Friends. And if you Don’t Support my Character we’ll be Enemies for Life, because you’re taking the Life from my Character by not Supporting it. I’ll rather Kill your Character First, before you Kill my Character.” It is the Survival of the Fittest Character for this Game of Life.  Bernard Poolman

There is nothing benevolent about the Memory dealer, it's a ruthless Character, anything goes to get back in Character the people I interact with, the Cover Up of this Character is the 'I let it Go' Character, a blatant lie because nothing can ever be let go, unless it is Self forgiven and deleted for good, until then The Memory Dealer is in charge, Memories are Currency, the lifeblood of Human Interactions/Ralationships, without Memories we would be unable to categorize, separate, organize, evaluate and freeze each other into this Life-Less Game.

The Memory Dealer never does What is best for All, it's just not built for that, it will always do and deal What is best for Me., what will give me the advantage that I seek in my own Illusory Energy Game.

The ruling password for this Character is Divide and Conquer.

Tomorrow will follow up with Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements

Day 63: Where is the Justice of This World ?

Those Who Fear, Die Every Day, Those Who don't Fear, Die Only Once

Today I saw this picture on TV, and I had a reaction, I could not say what was the reaction precisely, I just felt a movement inside me, like an electric shock.

This is the picture of two famous anti Mafia Sicilian judges, because every cause has its polarities, the Evil Ones and the Heroes.

This is a story of 2 Heroes, they died for a cause, they died for Justice.

Yet in a country as full of contradictions as Italy, even the ones that seem obvious Heroes are still part of the polarity Game of Right and Wrongs, within a system that is just plain Wrong, that is built on Abuse for  Survival.

When They interrupted the news for the first of the 2 that they blew up on the Sicilian highway, I cried, it was like if the embodiment of Good had been deleted, we would have to stop Hoping that the system would Change just because 2 men stood up to it.

Mafia is a social phenomenon, many don't know that it was born out of the need for Protection, like the Church but much more effective, because bullets have proved to save lives, while prayers don't.

Sicily was an isolated island forgotten by the Italian Government, the abuses from land owners and authority figures were the order of the day, slaves used to work in the caves and they would have blisters on their shoulders, blisters meant they had a job or recently had one, so it meant they were eating, while they healed between jobs they prayed for the blisters on their shoulder to be back soon, to give them dignity and some Money to feed themselves, to show that they were worthy citizens of a Land forgotten by Men and God.

More or less a month after they killed Falcone, the one on the left who had started the Anti Mafia Judge Pool, they killed his friend, they blew up half of his mother's building while he went to visit her on a lunch break, the street where the building stood looked like a war zone.

For the second one I cried less, we get used to the system being something we can never take on, they keep Jesus on a cross as a reminder and they take down anyone who opposes it directly, Falcone and Borsellino were not killed by the Mafia, they were killed by the State because they were about to prove what everybody knew for a long time, that the Mafia was just the armed branch of the State, the ones who would take on the dirty jobs to allow the State to come out clean.

But who is the State ?

The State is All of Us, together, it is our missing in action Beingness that has been replaced by a State of Fact, where the Facts that rule are Money and Fear, everyone fears something, fear of being exposed, fear of being abused, killed, marginalized, left to die.

Because we have been grown on fear, fed fear so everyone will keep their assigned seats at this Banquet in which we have all, at one point in time, decided to come and sit, hoping to make it through, hoping in the AfterLife reward, while Fear rules our Lives and we end up not dying just once, but with every single Breath we fail to Take.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to the picture of Falcone and Borsellino because when they died I believed something about Justice died with them, without seeing that there can be no Justice where there is no Equality

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imprint myself with the picture of F and B, as a reminder that we better never stand up even when we see the obvious flaws of a system of injustice because we have to be afraid for our lives

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Fear dying shot by the Mafia

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the Mafia as Bad and the Judges and the Judiciary System as Good, when it is obvious that the system of Abuse is all encompassing and people are forced to do what they need to do to survive

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the Mafia are the Evil Ones and We are the Good Ones because We Are Not The Mafia, when in fact Mafia is just a system of favours born out of fear of survival  to which all of us have subscribed according to our placement in the world

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Hope that One Day someone would come and set this world Right, instead of seeing it is up to us to set ourselves right so that the World as our Mirror can realign with us to Oneness and Equality and What is Best for All

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pretend I was fearless because I was too afraid to show my fear and deal with it so that I would not be run by it and would have to die every single day, with every breath I failed to take

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that fearing the system is normal, because everyone does, instead of seeing I was just fearing myself and projected this inward fear outward

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that fear is real

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in a 'Justice System' when it is obvious that in a World where Inequality is rampant and not all lives have the same value, Justice doesn't exist and has never existed

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to count on an external Justice System to regulate us as Humanity because I believed that we were not able to become our own Authority and walk what is Best for All in Oneness and Equality

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel saddened by this world of inJustice and for believing that I better take care of myself because I cannot be responsible for the world and everyone is just out for themselves anyway

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that I existed as a system of Injustice and that I cannot have what I am not willing to give to everyone Equally, which is their Just Place in the World as Life One and Equal

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fail to see that there cannot be Justice where Life is not valued and Money and Profit have taken over through our acceptances and allowances an that now Justice=Money, because those who have more can buy themselves the Justice they wish for and so Justice will have to mean Equal Money for All to translate into Equal Justice

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the Justice System was set up to have the Law respected, failing to see that the Law was written by Money and that Money has made sure that those with Money will benefit from the Law and the Justice System and the Poor won't have ever any access to the Law and the Justice they have not written and cannot buy

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the people in jail as criminals because they broke the Law, failing to see that this Judiciary System is not What is Best for All, but what is Best for the few that wrote the Laws and that we were indoctrinated to the respect of the Law=Money as Slaves by accepting and allowing ourselves to judge each other and become the effective Wardens of each other into the slavery we were born into and failed to see

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to support a world in which Life has gone on sale and profit is sitting at the helm, steering the World to utter destruction, while we fought against each other in stupid senseless wars that were system designed to Divide and Conquer

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not want to face the reality of this Evil world, because I would then have to give up any remnant of Hope that we may become self responsible and take back the wheel to drastically change direction to What is best for All as Equality and Oneness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lure myself with Hope, as a way to not have to take self responsibility for the world, because I cannot yet see how my participation resulted and or contributed to the state of the world as it is, but within this I take responsibility for the world as it is now, because I am Here and so is The World and only self responsibility can rid us of the Hope that kept us waiting for a saviour or a Lucky Change of Events

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear Authority because I equated Authority with Money and their power over me as Money, fearing for myself and my ability to survive

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear Lack of Money as the point that decided if I live or die and for accepting and allowing myself to hide my fears so I wouldn't have to face the world as me and what I as the World have accepted and allowed myself to become

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that if Money has become everyone's Access to Life and what defines our Ability to Survive, we must give to each other Equal Access to Money as a Life resource until we Change ourselves and the System into a Life System and can leave Money and what it represented as Money Above Life, behind us forever

I commit myself to stand for and as Justice and A World of Equals, because justice will only be possible within Equality and Equal Access to Life for all Life expression of the Planet

I commit myself to expose that, what we believe is Justice is a mockery to Life and that when we do not give to everyone the Right to Life, we are deluding ourselves about Justice and the Justice System, while we use the Law to protect our Self Interest and Hide our Fear of Survival

I commit myself to uproot my fear of Survival to stand for What is best for All and for Equality and Oneness for myself and All existence Equal and One, Here, in Every Moment of Breath