Day 108: Bury me Richly/Fear of Death, Self Commitment Statements

When and as I see myself move or about to move into a reaction regarding Death, I stop, Breathe, remind myself I am experiencing a preprogrammed Fear of no longer existing as the Mind and the Fear of still existing after Death, and having to face whatever it is that I am still accountable for that I have not addressed in Life, and remind myself that either joining the Fear of Death brigade or moving into my Mind to scare myself about the Here After, are just 2 ways to not be Here, where in fact my only power to change myself exists, within Breath as the accumulation of Breaths that I build up not as The Mind but as The Physical, for myself as Life and What is Best for All, Equal and One

I commit myself to investigate the ways of Death that I have filed under the Death File in and as my Mind, so that I can take back my investments placed upon Death and not upon Life through Breath-less Fear, to stop my existence as Fear of Death and what will happen to me as both The Physical and The Mind

I commit myself to disengage myself from the Cult of Death, not through discussions with others sharing Opinions regarding Death and Dying and what will happen to us in the HereAfter, but by stopping my emotional participation as reactions to Death as Ideas, Opinions, Concepts and Beliefs about Death and what Death is in fact, since we will only know first hand when we do die, and we can either Live until we die or die a little every day through Fear of Death, while we miss out on living Here in and as Breath

I commit myself to stand as Common Sense to stop the Cult of Death, to point out that worrying about what kind of grave we will leave behind at Death is just another Consumerist point that will follow us all the way to the Grave, but not beyond, as Death will come as the End of our Consumption of ourselves as Life and this planet and all the Life forms that we share it with

I commit myself to the Common Sense of Life as Breath to stop the Cult of Death, pointing out whenever I see a chance that we have not in fact Evolved since each one of us hopes to leave behind a grave that testifies to the Life we have been, failing to see that all Graves are the same, be them pyramids or just humble Stone tombs as they stand to testify humans that have not transcended Death, no matter their status or money that only allowed for a better display of a wasted life that was NOT used for the betterment of Life on  Earth and What is best for All, but just as a pass-time, in which time passed and then we died, no matter if some'body' will take longer to rot and return to earth or less as the corpses of rich and poor are still corpses all the same

I commit myself to no longer pass on terrifying stories of disasters and murders to Children, thinking that I can make myself interesting to their Mind as a Mind, as I bring up 'exciting/thrilling ' stories, and to remind myself that what we call exciting/thrilling is in fact an adrenalin shot, that is released by Fear, and that when I pass on exciting stories to kids I am no different than a drug dealer hoping to get them hooked on my specific drug of choice as excitement, and that the passing on of Fears to children is in fact an act of child abuse that we must remind ourselves to stop, as the excuse that it was done to us is no excuse to keep it up, damaging the new generations and crippling their chances to Live as Life and not live as Death as we have been living so far, just awoken here and there by self released chemicals that gave us the 'Illusion to be Alive'

I commit myself to stand as a point of Common Sense for Life, and not as a point that justifies death as The Only Way to get Out of Here, because there is another Way and we need to teach it to Each Other, and the Way is to get out of our Minds, to return to the Physical in Oneness and Equality with Life and All of Existence, and then Death will be no More, as Death will be transcended by our Hereness in every moment of Breath and beyond, to return One and Equal and establish Heaven on Earth for everyone

I commit myself to stop my fascination with death, skulls, bones, as I see realize and understand, they were always symbols of 'excitement/thrill' as the At Most Fear we lived in, and not symbols of Life, and that Death is not to be feared since what is going on of atrocious in the World is NOT done by the Dead, but by the Living Dead and that only through Stopping our existence as the Living Dead we can come back to Life and see, realize and understand, we could only see who we were as Death, and so Death we became, yet Life is waiting in and as the Physical and our Breaths will be the steps to close the gaps between us as Death and the Body as Life, one Breath at the time, until only Life remains.

Day 42: The Lone Ranger - Support vs Harassment

I have started to doubt that when I do reply to people or contact them to 'make a point', I am in fact harassing them vs supporting them.

This is because when I do not see 'the benefits' meaning 'an outcome', meaning suddenly hundreds of people joining the Forums or a river of people getting excited about Equal Money I believe I have failed and therefore I have not effectively supported them or 'they would have gotten the message'.

This proves that I doubt myself being effective in the 'deliverance' of the message, instead of seeing that it is nothing personal but it is controversial message, in comparison to all the 'feel good/angelic/love and light' ones, and that as one of my friend told me here in Italy, there is nothing wrong with the message or how we are trying to spread it, in the sense of effectiveness, it is about people Not Wanting to Hear It, which is not the same thing as taking this point personally and making a big deal out of it.

When I see how I heard the MessAge I cannot pin point the exact moment when everything seemed to finally make sense, because I remember the extensive resistance I first felt for not wanting to give up my idea of benevolence regardless to the evidence of the world staring me in the face, yet I kept exposing myself to it, dragging myself to it because even what I did not get, something in me got it, it was Brutal and Honest, it was about 'take off the blindfolds of Love and Light' and just look around to face Yourself.

And when I could no longer deny that something was and is in fact terribly wrong with this world it was a Self Realization, nobody stands out as having convinced me of anything nor was I drawn to Desteni, nope, I was NOT drawn to Desteni at all, it did not resonate with who I was and what I wanted to believe, yet the message was consistent and clear, did I want a change in this world ? Then I had to change myself, period.

So for someone like me flying on the Love and Light cloud the descent on planet Earth was not only not appealing but something I resisted, when I go back to seeing my initial approach to Desteni I can see through my own experience what many others are probably going through the same points as me with this MessAge, it is not about me not being effective, as in finding ways to string words together efficiently, but it is the Message itself that is being resisted.

Which brings me to the other point, that since B, told me my words may have an impact, I took that message to mean I have a DUTY AND a license to kill, I have placed a Double 00  in front of my name, I gave myself a Desteni Badge and I am now the (Self) Elected Sheriff, Patrolling the Internet, so I have had and still doing quite some equalizing on this point, even more than before, because before when I had no acknowledgement or had not been given the double 00, according to my mind, I was more sure of myself or had not set 'targets' for myself, I would see a point where Common Sense was lacking and try to post Common Sense about it, simple easy peasy, expecting nothing from it, not the conversion of people nor the positive feedback from Desteni because I was walking the process but not yet in acknowledgement.

Since that chat I have been fucking with myself quite consistently, in the sense that I tried to no longer speak just for myself but for 'The Group' which is in fact a mindfuck, because I can only speak for myself and for what is Best for All, and I cannot ever hope to speak for The Group, because we are a Group as Life, yet we exist individually and I cannot cover the points others among us may have seen and Self Realized but just what 'I" have seen and Self Realized and are walking into existence.

So time to stop the mindfuck and the harassment of myself and others, I am not the Lone Ranger here, just a common person that is standing up in Self Support and support of others when I see a chance, yet I will no longer hold expectations on the outcome because this leads to me feeling and judging myself as ineffective and that can only happen if I have set an effectiveness target in my mind as 'turnover' or  'recruiting' which is not Real, I am nor recruiting, nobody can be recruited into Desteni and Desteni is not recruiting or having 'turnover' head counts, Desteni is an Open Space that stands for Equality and Oneness, everyone is welcome but no one is dragged into it because unless One Self Realizes that a Change is needed and it must start with Each One of Us, they would not be having a Self realization but would have been scared there or pulled there, whichever way they would not have had a chance to exercise their 'Free Will' and self directive principle into Standing in and as Life to change themselves and the world to What is Best for All.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear posting comments and therefore for posting anyway forcing myself when in Fear, because I believed I am on a mission on behalf of God, like the Blues Brothers, instead of looking at the point of why I fear moving into some territories that I have judged more and beyond me so I can equalize myself before seeing clearly if my posting is supportive or if it's just me on the attack trying to prove that I'm in fact not scared to post and not inferior to the territory/people I am wanting to approach, instead of clearing my fears before and then eventually post.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my self righteousness because in my self righteousness I would try to make the other person less than me or to prove they are fucking with themselves when in fact I am still fucking with myself and I could spend the time working out my own points into equality and oneness and then stand as an example of what Equality and Onenessmeans as Support of Others as self Support

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be and desiring to be self righteous as a way og gaining value over another because I am right and they are wrong, or trying to make them wrong so I can be right

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to check everyday the Forum to see if we have new people coming as a point I use to measure my effectiveness in writing, instead of seeing my effectiveness in writing is determined by me and by how I walk my process in writing to Change myself into Oneness and Equality and What is Best for All

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I may not know what to say or to fear that the comments I leave may be coming from my Ego, instead of applying the tool of checking with myself if I am coming from a reactive place, Breathe and if no reaction exists in and as me just post without judging my posts but trusting that I have posted what would have supported me in the same situation of blindness and stop 'thinking' that I am trying to bring the person down or mock them, just because I used to do this, when I see that to not be true by the point of having checked with myself and having cleared myself before I wrote, I am not my Past

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that now I must post for the Group bestowing on myself an impossible task that I could never accomplish because we are a Group in our stand for and as Life to manifest What is best for All, yet each one of us is walking an individual process of realignment and I couldn't through the biggest effort, cover all the angles of all of us within the Group, nor it is my task to do so, but to simply post my own common sense where I see an opportunity to engage someone in offering a perspective that may not have been considered

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire an outcome from the comments I post, because when there is no outcome I judge myself as ineffective as I apply the Capitalistic Marketing Tools and Measuring Tools, to the spreading of a message of Equality and Oneness, that is not like a product people may want to buy of which they don't know the existence, this is a Message that we could have all worked out by ourselves, to Give as You would Like to Receive, yet we didn't because we did not want to, because our lives were working and so it is possible that some lives may have to come crashing down like many of our lives at Desteni, when nothing worked anymore and so we are not better or ahead of others, we were just accelerated by Life into our landing on the planet and we'll be Here to assist the other landings when they take place

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am now the Lone Ranger, having been given license to kill, which I have interpreted and then used against myself, adding one extra layer of fuckedupness to my process in which I had to now watch that I wouldn't pull the guns out when it was not in fact required or supportive and added an extra fear to my participation, having mistaken the acknowledgement of my acquired ability to string words together effectively, with the idea that now it is MY DUTY to string the words together as marketing tools, bringing customers to the Desteni Enterprise, which exists only in My Mind, because I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that what I do is only important if it has a return and not just as a measure of who I am and what I stand for, without any string attached

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to put myself under pressure about an imaginary duty that I now have to string together words to the maximum efficiency to recruit, which is an outflow of the point I have described above, because I am either selling or recruiting as I'm still walking the point of understanding what it means to do something just for myself, just to express common sense for those that are ready to hear and not as a mission to have something in return to confirm that I am doing good and well as a way to gain value for myself, instead of seeing the value of me is the value of me as Life to which nothing needs or is required to be added but by me as the Mind who lives in fear and isolation in the separation from Breath and Life and All there Is

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that my support may be read as harassment , because when I wanted to hold on to Love and Light, if someone came knocking on my Love and Light door I would have felt Harassed and I would have resented the awakening from my own delusion, instead of seeing I am projecting on others what I believe I would have felt in the same situation, which is just an assumption of my mind with no relation to reality, so I accept that it doesn't matter how others feel about what I post because what I think and feel is my responsibility and what others think and feel is their responsibility and a point for them to deal  with, not because I don't want to assist or I want to wash my hands about it, but because I can't and I never will be the source of the experiences of another within them as I don't have such power and so I cannot take their response-ability on their behalf but only on my behalf for what goes on and every reaction that moves within me

I forgive myself for not trusting myself because I am still new to walking Self Trust as me and I accept that I will have to build this Self Trust through Self Honesty and Self Corrective application, until my Without and my Within are Equal and One and I stand Equal and One to Life and existence for What is best for All

When and as I see myself moving or about to move into judgements or thoughts about what I am about to post on Facebook or Twitter, I stop, Breathe, remind myself that I must check that there is no reaction within me, if there is any, I Breathe until it stops or write it out and Self Forgive it and only when I am clear from ideas and judgements and Desires to achieve any outcome, I may post in and as support of another as me, to bring about a point of clarity and to share what I have self realized about existence and then in one Breath I let it go and trust that those aligned with the message and able to hear it will hear it and those that are not ready to hear it will not and it has nothing to do with me as in something personal as me Not being Effective

When and as I see myself holding the smoking gun, I delete my post before I post it, remind myself I am NOT the Lone Ranger and I am not out to harass people and I better stop and see why I have had the desire to attack, clear myself and if I cannot find a point of stability within a post, it means that I am not yet  Equal and One to that post, so I refrain from posting because this is not a race or a job I have to accomplish like the traffic warden by 'fining' a certain numbers of cars per day, I only post when and if I see something relevant and a point I can support for and as myself as self support

I commit myself to live Self trust as me and to build Self Trust through Self Honesty, Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Application to improve my communication skills supporting others One and Equal to me, as Self Support.